…BF’s family is having troubles.
His mother is looking to move sometime soon, to somewhere smaller and cheaper.
BF, understandably, wants to help her out, as he was telling me.
Thankfully he had the sense to add “But I know we have our own troubles to worry about.”
Yeah, you’re telling me! Not that I like to whine (well, I guess this blog bears the brunt of my gripes). But it’s tough enough getting by as a student on a student income, without having to essentially support a second person on said income. And sometimes I feel BF doesn’t appreciate that enough. I mean, we think of all our money as “our money”, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. But he’s the happy-go-lucky kind anyway. I’m a born stressor.
Anyway. Our helping could come in the form of moving in with her (she’s apparently found a few nice places, with sleepout/separate downstairs flat, etc). She only has her and BF’s youngest brother now, and I guess BF’s oldest brother also will be living there. If we lived with them, it would ease the pressure of rent and bills, and she knows we would always pay on time.
Qualms? Well, sooo many: the place itself, and housekeeping (previously they’ve lived in rather dumpy, messy places, although I don’t know how much of that to attribute to the fact that there would have been five kids in and out, not to mention their friends); BF’s oldest brother (not someone I’d actually want to reside with); the likely frequency of BF’s sister and kids coming to stay during her and her partner’s domestics; being close to the bus; being close to campus for BF next year; flexibility of moving, because presumably that would leave his mum in quite a fix. Sigh.
See, my plan was for us to take our time looking for our next place. (Plus, not many people are keen to take in couples, especially if they’re both studying). I wanted to live in Mt Eden/Epsom, or maybe 3 Kings/Greenlane/Royal Oak. Reason: better, more frequent buses, and reduced travel time to the city. Have I mentioned how sick I am of spending 10 hours a week commuting? Doesn’t even count the time spent walking to/from the bus stop, and waiting for the bus. Those specific areas: because if he goes into teaching he will have classes at the Mt Eden Rd campus. It’s best if we live close to it, so if the car craps out he can still get there without too much fuss. BF seemed to understand and agree with that.
But not today. He’s all gung ho about helping out his mum (which is totally fair enough). I reiterated how important it is for both of us to be able to get to uni/work WITHOUT relying on a car. His answer? “Oh, but you can’t keep living life in fear of something that MIGHT happen”. Well, like I explained, it’s perfectly sensible to live somewhere where I can cut down on travel time, and ensure that our old car breaking down wouldn’t strand us. And frankly, I am sick of West Auckland. Plus, he just doesn’t want to move away from his friends and family. He’s that kind of person. Me, I don’t care. I want to live somewhere decent, closer to town, and in an environment where he can do the best he can to prepare for starting uni next year. I’m not sure living with his mum would achieve that. She has to stay in this area because of BF’s brother’s school. And she currently has no car herself…so, see where I’m going? But I don’t want to come off as the cold hard bitch here.
It’s just hard to make plans at this stage when we don’t know exactly what will be happening next year. BF could be studying at the Epsom campus on the other side of Auckland, or at the city campus. I could be working in town, or maybe at a small community paper. Ya know? Not to mention our lease goes until August. Oh please, kill me now.