It wasn’t that long ago that I had an unhealthy addiction to MSN Money. Specifically, the message boards. I never once posted a message, but boy did I stalk those threads. I’m nosey; I love to read about other people’s lives, and how to handle finances.
One thing that keeps cropping up is the theme of women as breadwinners. Women who make more money than their partners, who lack motivation, education, or a highflying job.
Everyone tends to immediately dismiss them as deadbeat husbands and advise GET A DIVORCE – but is there really something wrong with just wanting to work a 9-5 (or whatever) job and live the simple life?
I’m not talking about guys who obviously leech off their partners, I’m talking about relationships where the woman wants more from the man and often tries to push that onto him. She’s frustrated because he doesn’t want, in her eyes, to advance. Frustrated at the income gap, or at his inability to decide on the next move.
And you know what? THAT’S ME!!! I see myself in those posters, and it’s quite frightening.
Do you believe that everyone has a career path they were made for? I think I may have done once, but not anymore. I say this from what I’m observing with T, with myself and my friends who are working, studying or something in between.
I think I can honestly say that I don’t care if he has no true calling, if he just wants to do a bit of everything. As long as there’s some job security, and some stability. Once he pays off his debt and finishes building up an EF, I think I’d be content just chugging along with both of us making steady money (fingers crossed), living within our means, prioritising good food, travel, concerts and other experiences. And of course, saving for a house of our own once we’ve seen a bit more of the world.
And I say steady, because there’s nothing worse than trying to get by on an irregular income. That’s something we did, and are probably going to have to continue to do to an extent. T’s new company doesn’t have work for him this week, and although he’ll try to find a temp gig to fill in, there’s no guarantees.
I think this is the key to surviving as a freelancer: If single, ONE of your gigs has to pay regularly and if in a relationship, one of you must have a steady kind of job. The main source of income can cover bills and expenses, while the other stream/s go toward saving, or however you want to manage it – but there HAS to be a regular paycheck to keep you fed and clothed.