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Month: August 2010

  • August 11, 2010

    50 questions that will free your mind (Part 2)

    Part One is here.

    6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
    I would spend very little of my time working. I’d buy, cook and eat good food. I’d travel to Europe, America, and parts of Asia. Around New Zealand. Spend days reading in the sun, lounging on the beach. I would escape winter every year. I’d write when I felt like it. I might even spend some time volunteering. I wouldn’t be in any kind of 9-5 though, I tell you.

    7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

    I don’t know what I believe in anymore. I do know that unlike many journalists, I don’t have lofty ambitions…think war correspondent, political reporter, exposing corrupt business. I just want to be happy and fulfilled in what I do. First I wanted to write. Then I wanted to design, and edit. Now, I’m foundering. I am REASONABLY happy with my current role. It is about as close to what I could ask for in a perfect job at this stage. I certainly am not settling.

    8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
    I’d be a lot less financially responsible. I wouldn’t be saving for retirement, I probably wouldn’t want to buy a house. I’d spend my time and money travelling, going to concerts, eating good food, er, refer back to question 6.

    9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
    I have had plenty of outside influences on my life. Without the help or nudging of others, I might never have left home until I finished school. I would have been miserable and quite possibly had some kind of breakdown. I would never have got the internship that led to a part time job and, eventually a full time job. My life would have been very different.

    That being said, I am the one who excels at my work, whose work ethic got me a second job, who did the hard yards that enabled me to graduate. I am the one who gave T a second chance when we were young and silly, the one who decided not to give up when things got rougher than I could ever have imagined.

    We don’t have control over every single aspect of our lives, but we can maximise every opportunity that comes our way. We can sit back and let life take us where it may, or step up and chart our courses to the best of our ability. For me, I’d say it’s about 70/30 to me.

    10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
    I’ve turned this question over and over in my head, and still haven’t reached a satisfactory conclusion. I’m still not quite sure how to frame it. Of course I want to do the right thing (even when it’s for the wrong reason) and I want to do those things right. Okay, so let’s say a friend is cheating on his girlfriend. Do I tell her – even though my loyalty is to my friend – making it the right thing? Or do I preserve our friendship, thus doing things right? Fuck it, next question please.

  • August 9, 2010

    On choices, mortality and nearly losing it all

    It was well past midnight. I’d stayed up late putting together a newsletter for work. I’d read a few chapters in my latest book. I checked my bank account – I’d been paid and it was looking flush. I turned off the lights, and sleep came easily to me.

    I sleep fitfully when I’m alone. Hours later (one? two? three or more?) the door slid open, the security light switched on, a footstep. He said something to me. I grunted in response, a drowsy hello.

    “I’ve got something to tell you,” he says.

    “Tell me in the morning,” I say, or least I think I do, in my semi-conscious state.

    “No, I need to tell you now.

    “Okay, fine. I’m listening.” I roll over.

    “No, you need to sit up.” Agitation.

    He needs a hug before starting to explain. I’m still not awake. Nonetheless, a bolt of terror strikes through my stomach. I anticipate the worst. I feel just how fragile my carefully constructed world is. No matter how much I save, I never feel far from the edge. Job losses. Car accidents. Housing dramas. Too many of those. Too much bad news that still makes me a little nervous everytime a call or text message comes through.

    He was in a car accident. It’s really no surprise, considering this particular group of friends. Barely friends. Mostly acquaintances. Especially this person, a person who wasn’t meant to be giving him a ride in the first place. Friends don’t drive at 160k/h through the suburbs, spinning out, smashing into kerbs and power poles and fences and nearly killing each other. Friends don’t total other friends’ cars for no reason at all. It was the scariest thing that had ever happened to him. He sat for hours, shaking, before making himself get into our car and drive home. It’s a miracle they walked away from the twisted wreckage.

    I hear what he’s saying. I understand it, in some distant corner of my dulled mind. I tell him: “I’m going to give you a hug. Then I need to go back to sleep.”

    “Was anyone hurt?” I think to ask, before trying to settle back into slumber.

    No one was injured.

    I can’t get back to sleep. My nose won’t stop running. I barely sleep the rest of the night. It’s hot. It’s cold. I must have dozed off, because I dreamt. I should just have stayed up and talked.

    He asks me to take the day off. Fridays are the worst. But I do it anyway. He needs to go out south to fill out some paperwork for a job. He doesn’t want to drive alone. I’ve never driven a manual on the motorway, and this is not the time to start, groggy and shellshocked. But I can be there with him.

    He tells me how he asked him to slow down. How time slowed as things sped up and they bounced around inside. How, when he got out, the spoiler was wedged in between the front seats. He was covered in glass. There were tiny shards inside his ears. Through it all, he held tightly onto the bottle of Lift Plus he’d been clutching, and, somehow, walked away with it. There was no car. There was no more car left.

    “I don’t think you understand,” he keeps saying. “I nearly didn’t come home last night.”

    I don’t know what to say. I can’t acknowledge how much danger he must have been in as I slept. Because I just can’t understand? Because I partly blame him? Because I can’t just say: “I love you, and I’m glad you’re safe?”

    I put my hand on his leg as he changes lanes, and hope that is enough for now.

     

  • August 8, 2010

    Link love (Powered by a week of epic fails)

    Boy, am I glad this week is over. The one good thing was…making the best chocolate chip cookies ever. And another thing which I won’t mention for fear of jinxing it.

    To this week’s roundup, aka, my pick of the blogosphere:

    LIFE

    Jane asks whether you had pushy or laidback parents, and wonders whether she needed more of a kick up the butt from hers.

    Revanche plays hostess and wonders what good hosting etiquette entails.

    Karen at Living Well on Less on the downsides (real side?) of pregnancy.

    My Pretty Pennies is starting a wedding fund. While that sounds like a great idea – weddings don’t come cheap – I think my travel fund has to come first. The wedding fund will just have to wait…perhaps slotted in before a house fund?

    And on that note, Lacey wonders why people all too often label a wedding “the most important day of her life”. (To which I say, preach it. I’m sure getting married will be a blast, and a huge milestone occasion, but it’s just one day.)

    Stephany gets some perspective and reminds herself how lucky she is to be healthy and able-bodied. For a hater of exercise like me, this really hit home.

    Jenny from Dinner: A Love Story pens a love post to coffee dates.

    Are you part of the smartphone brigade? Carrie Actually has some advice for iPhone users.

    Stone Soup’s Jules presents a minimalist guide to cooking with herbs.

    Katie asks what you would want your ideal autobiography to read like. (Yes, it starts off with a picture of Justin Bieber, but it’s for a reason). How about well-travelled and wildly successful in love, work, and the kitchen? Seriously, that would be great. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy.

    Average Girl has some hilarious advice for surviving high school. Ah, how I don’t miss it. Although, jeez, life was a hell of a lot simpler sometimes. (Although if you read one of the trillion songs I penned back then, it might not seem that way.)

    On that note…Not That Kind of Girl finds love and shares a poem written by her 12-year-old self.

    Oooh, and Ninja shares his and Girl Ninja’s love story. AWWW.

    WORK / CAREER / MONEY (that’s right, all three in one)

    Well Heeled on pinching pennies, yet justifying splurges.  (Guilty)

    Little House on the Prairie has a guest post from fellow blogger Jennifer Lou on quitting her job at Google and finding a new path.

    Rachel (not Rebecca) asks whether you would leave your city for Just Another Job, if it would get you one step closer to your real dream.

    Rainy Day Saver has some tips for freelancing through networking.

    Working Girl asks which Sex and the City character you’re most like.

    Finally Ramit Sethi, founder of I Will Teach You To Be Rich, guest blogs for J Money about why you should ignore traditional advice when starting a business.

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  • August 6, 2010

    July roundup

    Rent: It was clearly a three-fortnight month.

    Home expenses: Our washing machine died. We got a replacement from the Salvation Army – well worth it. Of course, for that price, you can’t expect miracles. Like the fact that it doesn’t seem to fully spin dry. Annoying.

    Insurance: Another quarterly contents cover payment.

    Vehicle: Needed a service. Thankfully, T can change oil and all that jazz. And lots of petrol.

    Entertainment: A couple of DVDs out, my guitar part, a watch repair and earring for T (didn’t know what else to categorise them as. No joke, he came home one night with a hole in his ear. That’s the kind of shit his friends do, apparently, reopen old piercings). A cheap movie ticket ($4) from grabone plus cheap ($10 each) passes to Waiwera; I’ve never been and can’t wait to go. Oh yeah, and the kicker: 3 Paramore tickets, although 2 of those were really gifts rather than entertainment.

    Dining: Pretty average, and about as low as it goes. I ate three lunches out this month (can’t remember the last time i didn’t bring lunch to work) and somehow kept it under $20. Another $50 or so on two dinners out, and the rest seemingly on random food for T while out gallivanting around during the weeks.

    Events: I counted all birthday related spending as an event. $180 odd of that was on the camera, the rest, food and drink. Money well spent.

    Clothing: A spiffy wool coat for the bf, much needed (his one and only sweatshirt is, i believe, in his brother’s car with no prospects of being returned soon. Thankfully, he’s actually taking care of the jacket. It’s by far the nicest garment he owns)

    As previously noted, I didn’t make my goal of saving 20 per cent this month. Amazingly, though, I was less than $20 off at $640. And even more surprising, despite basically spending blindly, we evened out. Despite all the extra gas and T’s random food purchases/personal spending, it looks like our total lack of an entertainment/eating out budget – barring my birthday – made up for it.

    In terms of extra income, I netted a whopping $18.60 (mystery shopping). That’s because I’m waiting till later this month for a reimbursement. I also received two $10 vouchers earned from doing online surveys; one for Rebel Sport and the other for Hoyts Cinemas.

    So, not too horrendous, considering! Hello, August.

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  • August 5, 2010

    Lessons learned: The things they don’t teach you

    What I’ve learned in the six months plus I’ve been a full time worker boil down to three things:

    Communication
    Find out how your boss likes to be kept in the loop (okay, I stole this one from Basic Black:
    The Essential Guide for Getting Ahead at Work and in Life     – a great read, by the way) and follow it. Learn how to use the ‘reply all’ button; something I honestly had never used in my life until recently. And learn when it’s appropriate to cc in people on emails.

    Visibility
    Don’t always enter by the side door, even if it’s more convenient for you. Come into the office by the main door sometimes; make the effort say hello and goodbye to your boss and workmates. Have the confidence to speak up and contribute in meetings and discussions. But most importantly, let your boss know when you’ve done good work – otherwise it may well go unnoticed (or someone else might pinch credit for it). And while it’s great to be a team player and to fix up mistakes by others as you see them, sometimes it’s necessary to point them out to the person whose responsibility it is; a) they need to learn and b) you deserve credit for your attention to detail.

    Patience
    Sometimes you just need to wait for recognition. Don’t shy away from new tasks or extra responsibility, even if it means more work for nothing (within reason, of course). While some people may be able to talk their way into a promotion, the best way is simply to just do the job and prove your ability. I found that once I got on with it and shone, the rest followed…eventually.

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  • August 4, 2010

    Goal recap: July

    ** This week’s Carnival of Personal Finance is up! Thanks to Ultimate Money Blog for including my post, Purchase in Haste? No way **

    Well, that went by fast. July was an incredibly busy month for me. I read tons of books, did some cleaning and organising around the house, and did more socialising than usual. I didn’t quite make my goal of relearning two songs on guitar; one, yes, and a handful of other cool riffs, but I can’t say I managed two complete songs.
    That being said, I’m finding ridiculous amounts of joy in just playing, and sometimes sitting down and picking out stuff on my own rather than using tabs.

    Save 20 per cent of my income. Fail. Full July financial recap in the works.

    Try one new (to me) dinner recipe each week. Although I probably did cook at least once every week, most of those were along the lines of burgers/spag bol. I did attempt Kevin’s honey lemon chicken, which turned out okay (A little bit thin for some reason, but very flavourful. A bit too intense for the boy) and Iowa Girl’s Brazilian coconut chicken, which was also good (I found it a bit plain, but still tasty. He really liked it. Most amazingly, I made this at midnight on a Friday, without hurting myself in the rush to cook and eat, NOR did I wolf it down like a savage, thereby giving myself indigestion. How grownup of me.)

    Run once a week. Thanks to some potent winter bugs, paired with Auckland’s notorious winter weather (a formidable duo), I only made it twice. I really don’t feel like I’m making a lot of progress fitness wise…

    Donate to charity. After a few slack months, I can finally say yes to this!

    Okay, now to August’s challenge. It’s all about baking here. I’m going to have a go at coconut ice, carrot cake and a basic cheesecake. I’m also eyeing up this blueberry crumb bar, but the ingredients (mainly the berries) are looking far too extravagant. Wish me luck!

    (PS: Does anyone have tips on cleaning ovens? I grew up in a house without one and have no idea what I’m doing.)

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  • August 3, 2010

    Sneakery business

    I am seriously in need of some casual sneakers. I have a ratty pair of slip on Skecher type shoes and a pair of skate shoes. Then I have boots, cute flats and other shoes I can wear to work and out and about.

    But what I really just need something more street for *those* days, ya know? And I only want to spend on one pair. So help a girl out.

    Do I go for some cute Ked styles?

    The generic canvas laceups?

    All out on the Chucks?

    (Actually, scratch the Chucks. I love the look of them, but hate the feel.)

    What’s going to be most versatile?

    {Photos – Click on image for source}

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  • August 2, 2010

    50 questions that will free your mind (Part 1)

    Stephany (who is an awesome blogger with great insight and determination) is currently doing a series of posts based on 50 questions that will free your mind. This was way too good to pass over, so I’m nudging in and answering them on my own time.

    Plus, I love writing about myself (obviously).

    1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

    Considering I’m prone to snotty, teary tantrums when I’m hungry and can’t open the jar of pasta sauce (weak wrists are the bane of my life), about five. Then again, I love routine, quiet nights in, have almost given up drinking, save for retirement, and can’t wait to buy a house (and eventually do the marriage, kids and carriage bizzo). Overall, I like to think I’m more mature than my real age. Say, 25?

    2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

    Initially, I thought never trying, hands down. No regrets. You’ll never know if you don’t make the leap. Plus, that’s the cool thing to say, really, isn’t it? Nobody wants to admit to being such a wuss that failure is their biggest fear. Stephany summed it up perfectly with this: “With both instances, you’re left with regrets. You’re left with what if’s.”
    I think, without ever really having experienced real, serious, catastrophic failure (more on that in the future) it’s difficult to say. But ultimately, I always think back to one of my favourite cliches: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. If that applies to your personal life, I don’t see why it wouldn’t equally apply to all other areas.

    3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

    I believe the majority of reasons for the former come down either to obligations (societal, familial, etc) and money. Oh, and health, haha. I, on the whole, dislike cleaning. I do it because it’s nasty and unhygienic not to, and I don’t want to look like a slob should people come over. I would definitely outsource this and hire a cleaner…but I’m 22 and hardly rolling in cash. See what I mean? Money and social norms. You might work tons of overtime or take on a crappy project, because you need the money, or to impress the boss (which will hopefully pay off later). We go on diets and do crazy exercise routines to get fit and hot (I guess that’s vanity as well as health).

    Why do we like so many things we don’t do? I’m really not sure what this means, so I can’t think up an answer. Anyone care to enlighten me? (The best I can come up with is perhaps enjoying having money to spend, but not wanting to learn to manage money better in order to achieve that. PF nerdgasm…)

    4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

    When all is said and done, I hope to be remembered. And most importantly, I hope to be remembered not for being good at my job but for having been a good person, and, hopefully, touching the lives of the people I know. I probably won’t change the world in any definitive way, but I hope I’ll have travelled to the places I want to visit, had a family, found fulfilment in my non-professional interests and been financially secure enough never to worry for our welfare.

    5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

    That’s simple. I want more fairness and equality. By that I mean everyone having the basics of life, the necessities: food, water, warmth, a home. To be safe, not to fear for their lives. And I might add, I want there to be less hate. If everyone could get along, stop fighting ideological and physical wars, well that would be just peachy.

  • August 1, 2010

    Link love (Powered by couscous and waffle cardigans)

    MONEY

    Here’s a thought: thinking about money in terms of saving for opportunities, rather than emergencies (I think this is how I’m going to frame matters to BF in future!)

    Fired and Fabulous tracks her spending for a week – something I might do here soon for kicks.

    Little Miss Moneybags continues her how-to series, this time sharing some ideas for saving on housing in NYC.

    As Airam finds out, diligently tracking expenses isn’t all that useful if you’re not reviewing what you’re doing.

    Meg tries out grocery shopping and marvels at the possibilities. (It’s amazing, in my eyes, that someone could eat out for the majority of their meals!)

    And finally, Well Heeled offers some suggestions for talking yourself out of spending.

    LIFE

    Lilu presents a definitive guide for anyone who’s lost their boyfriend/dream job/puppy.

    Fabulously Broke reflects on her time in Paris and how the culture differs from Canada.

    Carlee reckons that despite being frail, she’s getting stronger – both physically and mentally. (Yes, paper cuts hurt! I, too, am a wimp; bruise easily and get sick every winter. I consider myself in touch with my body.)

    Girl Normal’s thoughts on grad school, and trying to follow a field you like but aren’t necessarily good at.

    Amy at Just a Titch turns biker babe and takes a shine to it.

    Coincidence: I mentioned banh mi bale sandwiches earlier this week, and guess who posted a Vietnamese sandwich recipe? YUM.

    Gem muses on life, relationships and money all in one post (and hits basically everything I’ve been thinking about lately)

    Not That Kind of Girl writes to some jailbirds (and if you want to partake, you can)

    Like me, Jess has some serious photo anxiety, and speaks out to share her pain. She’s also looking for advice on whether she should move apartments to save money.

    Amber blogs about a situation where it’s best not to set expectations.

    Pushing Thirtyy wonders when some of her peers will ever grow up. Something I wonder a lot, although to be fair, we’re at the other end of our 20s.

    “Acknowledge online life as real, and the Internet’s transformative potential opens up” (Gold to an online addict such as myself). The Harvard Business Review compiles ten reasons to stop apologising for your online life.

    And on that note…What kind of social media user are you? Find out here.

    WORK

    PR Working Girl offered some insight into a good week at her job, which sparked a little bit of debate. Us journos couldn’t help but respond to her comment about reporters taking a different angle from press statements (which of course, if you’re serious about getting coverage, should always be geared towards a newsworthy angle)

    Ever wondered what it’s like to be a bouncer? Well, Social Diary details what it feels like to be a doorbitch. (I’m not sure I’d recognise Robert De Niro, either)

    Financial Samurai asks why the employed among us are so smug about the unemployed.

    Neurotic Workaholic offers an insight into the world of academia.

    For US residents, New Grad Life has tips for anyone thinking of joining the civil service (ie, government jobs).

    Penelope Trunk on why you should befriend interns (strange twists of fate have seen me strike up friendships with a handful of third year journalism students; makes me feel simultaneously wise and decrepit) as well as tips for leaving a job.

    Debt Ninja asks how quickly you could replace your income if you lost your job today – a terrifying thought. I really don’t think it would be all that soon, so I’m glad my job is about as stable as I could hope for in this field.

    J Money on the cheapest way to travel the world (My mum once worked for an airline, but in the accounting department. She still got to travel some, though. But working as a flight attendant sounds brutal!)

    Jenny on being the woman who always leaves work on time to catch the same train, no matter what.

    Hope you all had fabulous weekends!

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