A while ago I read a fascinating piece in Vogue Australia by Tony Parsons. He posits that men are torn between two essentially conflicting desires, neatly identified as “stay” vs “stray”.
Poor men stray because of opportunity, he reckons, while rich men stray due to a sense of entitlement. Greed. Like Tiger Woods, they seem to have everything, but aren’t satisfied. They have a fabulous family, great wife and great kids – yet their mistresses are never in the same league. Think porn stars and strippers.
Parsons himself had a failed marriage. Ideally you would get the straying out of your system before getting married, but he didn’t.
Almost all the male friends I’ve ever had, oddly, have been the committed type. They’re good guys, which I suppose is why we’re friends in the first place. On the other hand, I’ve had some hellish flatmates who can’t seem to keep it in their pants. Like the one who had two girls at once – who apparently even knew about each other. If an opportunity presented itself, well…after all, it’s not like they really had much going for them aside from being semi-good looking.
As someone who’s only been in two real relationships, and has been spoken for almost constantly since the age of about 16, occasionally I wonder what it would be like to be in the dating pool. Exciting, perhaps. But probably also exhausting more than anything else. I never know what to say to single girlfriends who wonder if they’re ever going to find someone (but you’re still so young! Give it time is true, but not much comfort.). And even then, how does one know – with no experience – how to spot a good one? How do you avoid becoming one of the victims – the sad hearts – discarded by a compulsive strayer?