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Month: May 2012

  • May 4, 2012

    Guest post: OTT weddings and cutting costs

    Today’s post is part of a Yakezie blog swap on the topic of weddings! You can read my post over at Fiscal Phoenix.

    Before we cut our cable, I enjoyed watching Say Yes to the Dress.I was continually fascinated by the women who would spend $10,000 to $20,000 on a dress. True, the dresses were often gorgeous “princess” dresses with elaborate detailing and beading and a gorgeous train. Yet, I could never imagine dropping so much money on a dress I would wear one time for one day. ONE DAY!

    American bride wearing a Contemporary Western ...

    (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    How We Cut Costs for Our Wedding

    When I got married 10 years ago, I just happened to fall in love with a wedding dress that cost a little over $100. After alterations, the final price tag was just a bit over $200.

    Because I come from a very large family (my dad was the youngest of 10 kids and my mom was the second youngest of 9 kids and I have over 40 cousins on my mom’s side alone), my husband and I knew we would have to keep things simple to be able to afford to invite over 250 guests. In the end, my husband and I made all of the table decorations, made our own flower arrangements and did much of the other prep work ourselves such as wrapping the silverware in a napkin with a bow around it and even making our own arch to walk through when we entered the reception.

    My aunt made our wedding cake, my cousin was the D.J., and my uncle took the wedding video. We had a hot buffet of food we had made the night before the wedding. Our wedding was DIY, and we only spent $6,000 for 250 guests. That price is not just for the reception, but for every single wedding expense.

    What I loved about our wedding was that there was no residual effect. We didn’t have to put any of the wedding expenses on credit. We weren’t still paying for our wedding years or months after it happened. What I disliked about our wedding was that we did so much ourselves, we were exhausted when it was over!

    Over the Top Weddings

    I have attended plenty of weddings where the bride and groom dropped a great deal of money and were paying the wedding off for several years. What I noticed about these weddings is that they had a lot of little things that people didn’t want.

    My friend had a wedding where they gave out flower bulbs so people could plant them and remember the wedding. This is a nice idea, but in reality, most people probably didn’t want plant bulbs, so they didn’t plant them. To me, that was wasted money. While the napkins that have the couple’s names and wedding date embossed on them are pretty to look at, at the end of the day, they are just napkins. People aren’t going to bring them home and cherish them; they are going to use them to wipe food off the corner of their mouth.

    I may not be the best person to ask about these issues because I am a bit of a minimalist when it comes to parties and decorating. However, considering fights about money are the number one cause of divorce and couples tend to fight more when they are saddled in debt, starting a marriage in debt because you had an expensive, over the top wedding doesn’t seem like the smartest relationship choice.

    Melissa blogs at Fiscal Phoenix and Mom’s Plans where she writes about finances, getting out of debt, food and family.

  • May 2, 2012

    Layby vs hire purchase

    I’ve been doing some higher-end mystery shops of late: jewellery, luxury fashion. They’ve been awesome experiences, actually. The staff know their stuff and when it comes to making suggestions for improvement, I really don’t have any ideas to offer. In fact, one of the surveys went so well I very, very nearly went through with the purchase (and if New Zealand had strong return policies I probably would have). This wasn’t one of those surveys that included purchase, or purchase followed by return. Just one of those teasy ones where you pull out at the very last minute.

    Luxury retail, SoHo

    Luxury retail, SoHo (Photo credit: La Citta Vita)

    One thing they always make a note of is to mention a layby option. I never really understood this until I got older and realised that some people spend hundreds of dollars on a single item of clothing. (Personally, the most I’ve ever spent is under $200, on a coat, and a pair of a boots respectively.) Since the big bad GFC, layby is apparently making a bit of a return to the retail scene.

    If you’re not familiar with the term, layby involves the shop putting aside the item for you. You pay weekly instalments toward the balance – usually interest-free – and once it’s paid for in full, that’s when you finally take it home.

    For those who can’t pay in full upfront, I think it’s a great option. It beats paying 20 percent interest on a credit card, that’s for sure. And I certainly am not going to argue with a system that promotes delayed gratification (something I think our generation lacks a little, myself included).

    Then there’s that other beast – hire purchase, offered on bigger-ticket items. Electronics. Appliances. They’re not such a good deal, in my view.

    I did consider taking out a hire purchase on one of my laptops. It was a lovely interest-free deal, and interest rates were high enough that I figured I might as well keep money sitting in my account as long as possible.

    But digging down into the fine print, I found upfront fees and annual charges that totally wiped out the interest-free carrot. And that’s why I whipped out my credit card, took the rewards points, and took the savings hit.

    I can see in some situations this might also be preferable to carrying a credit balance, depending on the specific numbers. But I don’t anticipate a hire purchase ever worming its way into my list of financial liabilities.

  • May 1, 2012

    How to stay sane and maintain a semblance of life order

    how to balance lifeI am a terrible procrastinator. I am also a stressball, a low-energy type of person and despite the fact that I have neither kids nor any regular extracurricular commitments, often find myself wishing science would hurry up and invent a real life Time Turner.

    Nonetheless, through a crazy uni schedule, multiple jobs, shift work and now 9-5 work, I’ve come up with a few things that are working for me.

    Cooking

    I shop once a week. Usually on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. On Sunday night I make up lunches for the next couple of days, if not the whole week. I ate sandwiches for most of my school years and am ever so slightly over them (except for elaborate, gourmet type ones, which I have not the patience to deal with).

    I much prefer a cooked lunch – couscous, fried rice, roast veggies – with the odd salad (it must have serious carbs or protein in it, however, in order to earn its place in my stomach).

    I’m not very good at cooking in big batches (hence why we don’t entertain all that much) so it’s rare that we have leftovers for dinner. But those evenings are AWESOME. Can you beat coming home and heating up a lovely homecooked-meal in minutes? I think not.

    I also try to keep some basics on hand at all times – those quick-cook pasta meals in packets, noodles, bread, peanut butter, eggs etc.

    Exercise

    Compared to most, I’m pretty slack on the exercising front. I say find what suits you, and stick to it. For a while I did free Zumba classes with a friend every Wednesday. I don’t like it enough to pay for it, though. Running has always been the one physical activity I’m kind of good at, and so I go with it. Plus it’s free! I’ve tried running in the mornings. Doesn’t really work. Pre-breakfast, I don’t get far before feeling queasy and light-headed from hunger. Post-breakfast, I just can’t run that soon after. I also do not do well running after consuming spicy food. What I DO do is try to run once on a weekend afternoon and once on a weekday evening (hence the importance of a filling lunch). I also do a few stretches and other exercises on my bedroom floor most weekday mornings (weekends are for lazy rising).

    Sleep

    Sleep is sacred. It comes only second to food in my world. Nothing gets in the way of my sleep. NOTHING.

    Me  time

    I need alone time like some people hate the idea of marriage equality. Me time is for reading books. Blogging. Playing guitar. Baking. Until recently, watching Buffy. Consuming content that’s relevant to my industry (career development? self-improvement?). Whatever your thing is, make time for it and do not let others impinge upon it. I often turn down weeknight invitations, even though my only plan is a hot date with my food processor, mixing bowl and oven.

    Cleaning

    I hate cleaning with a passion. I should be cleaning more often, eg, in that midweek slump (you should see the state our house descends into by the end of the week. One day when I’m all grown up I will have a monthly cleaner to help out…). At our place, cleaning usually occurs on a Sunday evening so we have things looking nice to start the week and then it’s all downhill from there.

    I have an excellent book that lays out tips to keep on top of cleaning, like filing away paperwork as soon as it arrives, sweeping hard floors every day, wiping down things in the bathroom every couple of days, etc. Good advice to follow. But if you’re like me, nobody will strike you down dead with lightning for your slatternly ways. Personally, I only remember to clean the windowsills when a property inspection is forthcoming.

    Relationships and friendships

    I would be happy if every night ended with me engrossed in a book and T watching TV before falling asleep. Apparently, though, sometimes it’s good for me to put my book down and interact with him. (J/K, sorta.) Occasionally we manage a bona fide date night, and that’s always lovely. I recommend scheduling those in. I also suggest the same kind of standing arrangement with friends; regular get-togethers are more likely to succeed.

    Last year I set myself a goal of texting one friend a week. You might be like me and be better at being pursued than doing the pursuing. I’m slack at reaching out, because, well, I’m lazy. (And perhaps because I have a deep-seated need to be liked and fear rejection.) It would be so much easier if they were all into social media … But anyway, regularly reaching out to friends is a great thing.

    Sensing a pattern?

    Organisation is key. I plan most everything ahead and am constantly making fresh notes in my calendar or reminders in my iPhone. I listen to my body, because it likes routine, and so does the smooth running of my life, really. I have nothing on some of you guys with your hardcore day planners, but in my world, if I get the bins out in time for the rubbish collection, that’s a win.

    OTHER STUFF

    Know yourself. You know your limits and you know your priorities. Honour those. There are people who thrive on a busy life, with constant houseguests, frequently entertaining at home, going out after work every night, training for a marathon, travelling frequently, kicking ass at work. I’m not one of them. And I don’t try to be.

    Set boundaries. People will always want more from you. It’s up to you to say “NO. NO MORE EMAIL CHECKING ON THE WEEKENDS.” Say no. And stop responding to Facebook events with ‘maybe’ if it’s definitely a no.

    Have things to look forward to, both big and small. Everyone needs goals, dreams, motivation. Mine was getting into the degree I wanted to pursue. Then it was graduating and getting a job and having more time and money. Then it was finding a job with better hours. Now it’s travel and a wedding. There are little things, too, like a mini staycation or visits to a favourite restaurant. Whatever yours is, keep it on the horizon.

    Have less stuff. Okay, this may not work for everyone. I live with a horrible materialist. Where I didn’t want to tell anyone we were burgled the last time that happened (because it’s a rather embarrassing story), he wanted to brag to friends about his shiny new TV (thanks to how fast technology moves, we got a bigger one for what the old one was worth). But the more stuff you have, the more time and money it sucks up. T’s RC car, motorbike, etc need maintenance. Which is fine, as it doesn’t involve me (although I still end up being the one to remind him that this or that needs taking care of). Also, stuff can be stolen, as I too well know.

    Not sweat the small stuff

    I’m working on this: stopping obsessing over BS and stopping beating myself up about mistakes. Because we all mess up. We’re human. Fall off the moneywagon? Pick yourself up and try again next month. Letting someone’s disparaging throwaway comment haunt you? Ask if they really matter – and if they actually know what they’re talking about. Adulting has an excellent post on this.

    THE FINAL WORD

    I truly believe that you cannot do it all at once. Balance to me, is fluid. Are you going to spend exactly an hour exercising every single day, an hour socialising, an hour cooking, 30 minutes reading, 15 minutes tidying the house up, or whatever? Your priorities, and thus your balance, shifts over time. Sometimes you’ll need to turn up the dial on work for a while. Then that might quiet down and you can focus on health or friends. When you’re training for a marathon you need to step up your game on that front, then you can pick back up on other things once that’s behind you.

    What do you find helpful in keeping your head on straight and your day-to-day life on track?

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