• Financial vampires: Is there one in your life?

    Financial vampires - cut them out of your life

    Have you ever had a financial vampire in your life?

    Some people are just financially toxic. They are in the shit moneywise, and by merely being present in your life, will drag you down too.

    You may feel obligated to help, or they may explicitly pressure you to do so.

    Whatever their situation, do not risk your own financial wellbeing on their behalf.

    When you step into the role of the money martyr, odds are you’re not just damaging your own financial health but also doing a number on your emotional and physical health as well in the process.

    Those who truly love us and have our best interests at heart will not expect this of us.

    I mean, it feels good to be selfless, if you can afford it. Not to get all The Secret-y on you, but I swear little windfalls have correlated with times that I’ve given more.

    And yet.

    Beware of giving up too much to the people closest to you.

    There’s a difference between supporting someone through a temporary rough patch, vs enabling consistently poor choices and habits. The trick is making that distinction and it’s not always easy to see where that line falls, particularly in a newer relationship.

    I’ve spoken to so many people recently who’ve been in relationships where a significant other has taken advantage of their financial goodwill. In some cases it’s been about subsidising their slacker partners; in others it’s been about taking responsibility for a partner’s debt, or even incurring new debt on their behalf.

    We all agreed on one thing: we’d be much better off today if we’d wised up earlier. Sexually transmitted debt – it’s a thing, and in the worst cases can take years to bounce back from.

    We only get one shot at life, and it’s okay to put your own financial wellbeing first. Start by helping yourself and securing your own needs, then you can turn your attention to helping others.

    When it comes to financially toxic relationships, it’s best to cut those losses earlier rather than later. As a wise friend said, we aren’t just hurting our current selves by staying – we’re also hurting our future selves.

    Give generously. But never, ever sacrifice your own financial stability for anyone else’s sake.

    When it comes to money, ALWAYS put yourself first.

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