Tag Archives: blogging

Link love (the overstimulation edition)

Another stranger appeared in my Twitter feed recently. Though not a stranger as it turned out, just another woman going through a divorce who had changed username. They were one of those cute couples who had the same last name and similar @ handles.

(What is the average divorce rate among celebrities? I’ve never understood celebrities who change their names after marriage – the odds are so stacked against you, and if you’re likely to change back in the event of a divorce, why risk the double hassle? And to a lesser degree, I think the same goes for us plebs. I know we all think we’re going to live happily ever after, but many of us won’t. After the mostly terrible past 2 years – even with the buffer of some decent months since – I’m still personally not 100% sure myself. But eh, call me cold.)

Maybe there is some truth to the theory that often, the people who post the most about their wonderful relationships are usually not that solid. The people who aren’t posting are actually busy living life and building their relationship rather than spending time crafting an online narrative about it.

I remember, in the wake of one of my darkest posts here, a reader raising the question – why stick around? What are you getting out of it?

Fair enough. There probably isn’t very much positive stuff on the blog. When things are good I feel no need to write and post. When things are bad, I work through it by writing. I could have said, trust me, there are good things, occasionally. I could have listed them, even. But I suspect they would have sounded weak and generic.

Because … generally the things that make you a good person and a good partner are fairly universal. Honest. Kind. Giving. Dependable. Encouraging. Perhaps good with kids/animals. That kind of thing.

But it seems to me there are many more ways in which to be a bad partner. Lazy. Unmotivated. Dishonest. Selfish. Volatile. Physically abusive. Emotionally abusive. Have an addiction problem. Controlling. Indifferent. Dismissive. Critical. Unsupportive. Unethical. Unreliable.

Maybe. Maybe that’s just my end-of-a-long-week brain going off on illogical tangents. Too many other thoughts swirling around about money and financial literacy and society and systems after the conference I was at, but that can wait till next week’s post. I need sleep.

To the links…

Why I stopped travelling full time

The reality is that when we look at those living in poverty, they often experience multiple issues that cause or are caused by their poverty

We must learn to say no 

The myth of the lifestyle entrepreneur

The first $100k is the hardest (although the majority of it will be tied up in real estate, I hope to hit this by 30)

Link love (the democratic edition)

NZ Muse link love

I think this is the first time I’ve voted in my local body elections.

I can’t say I really understand how local boards work, but I plan to be staying put for the indefinite future and so, I’m more invested in my community than I ever have been.


Young candidates, at least in my area, have no idea how to sell themselves. I ain’t going to vote for you just because you’re young! Tell me something, anything, about your beliefs, policies, etc.

There’s so much pressure to keep rates (our equivalent of property taxes) low. It’s mentioned by so many candidates, and heck, there used to be a party called Citizens & Ratepayers (now changed to the more inclusive Communities and Residents)! Does anyone care about keeping rents affordable? I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about escalating rents any more – just interest rates.

Anyway. To the links. SO MANY GOOD THINGS TO READ THIS WEEK, YOU GUYS. Hope you have an hour spare!

This week’s links

What nobody talks about when they say DO WHAT YOU LOVE

The economics of dining as a couple

Why I don’t want other bloggers’ financial goals

There’s more to life than being an entrepreneur

Contemplating a next job move

Want to earn more? 5 things to do differently

Ponderings on our obsession with happiness

4 financial principles of a healthy relationship

Why you can’t afford low paying freelance gigs

Investing is the savings account I’ve always needed

The myth of gross used things

Anxiety and the hustle mindset


Link love (the warming up edition)

It’s been a week since we put insulation into the roof and the effect has been instant! Temperatures through the whole house are consistent throughout and it seems to be holding more warmth, and for longer (based off the HRV console, which tells us the temperature in the roof and in the house).

I went with these ceiling insulation pads – local, nontoxic, precut to fit standard timber framing for easy DIY.  We wound up with 3 bales left over; a product of having to guess at the size of the house/roof, and the way that the sunroom (dining nook) was added onto the original house meant that extension didn’t really lend itself to adding insulation over that part.

So, if anyone in Auckland is after some Greenstuf ceiling insulation pads, leave me a comment below and I’ll email you! (Your email won’t be visible to anyone except me.)

There are 3 bales, R 2.9, each cover 6.82 sq m. all untouched and unopened. They retail in the range of $107-$130 depending on where you go; happy to knock off a few bucks.

This week’s links

The upside of low earning potential 

Are you an underbuyer or overbuyer?

When do you feel the most attractive?

Why we resist happiness

Link love (the reinvigoration edition)

I’ve never had a performance review in my life. Between organisations not having any structure/process around that kind of thing, or the timing of my changing jobs, it just never happened.

But that changed this week! And I survived and it went fabulously. Whether it will result in more money remains to be seen (we’re publicly funded and knowing how much of a raise my manager got last year I don’t have huge expectations).

I’d been running on autopilot for a while and this was a good jolt to reinvigorate me. Now I’m looking into courses on Coursera and Udemy related to UX and digital (and this weekend many courses on Udemy are only $15!)

This week’s links

13 things I learned about NZ after I left

Women, money, and imbalance in the financial industry

Not every dollar is for building wealth, but every dollar has a purpose

Is fear the ultimate motivator?

Nobody has their shit together

The relationship between financial security and food security

Link love (the spring-has-sprung edition)

NZMuse - Link love roundup with awesome reads from the week

Anyone else heard of/used Buxfer? It’s the first budgeting/spend tracking tool I’ve come across that actually plugs into all the NZ banks. (No, we don’t have our own equivalent of Mint, etc…)

Also, hallelujah! Winter is officially over!

This week’s links

On dating men with ‘potential’

The problem with ‘simple livlng’

Tolerating ugly stuff

The gender wage gap explained

Bookish confessions

Finding wisdom in your bedroom 

Link love (the fees-will-get-you-every-time edition)

NZ Muse link love roundup

Indulge me, if you will!

I remember the first time I learned that banks could charge you for the privilege of holding your money, when my ex’s mother spoke about the $10 monthly fee on her day-to-day account.

More recently, I got to hear about some of the stuff that regulators are involved in within the consumer protection space. Changes to the law last year put a much bigger onus on lenders to disclose, disclose, disclose – to be upfront about fees and costs associated with credit contracts, as well as be more responsible and ethical about how and who to lend to. Noncompliance can apparently result in borrowers not being liable for fees/interest if lenders don’t play by the rules. And one finance company has been caught out charging excessive and irrelevant fees – eg high loan establishment fees due to building in overheads beyond the scope of any work involved with actually setting up a loan. The view is that lenders shouldn’t be making huge profits off these kinds of fees, to which I say amen.

Another much more mainstream topic of late has been KiwiSaver fees. On average KiwiSaver fees are 1.3% per annum and now that the scheme has been going for a few years, balances are getting higher and thus providers are getting an ever-bigger cut each year. There’s a new provider, Simplicity KiwiSaver, launching soon that will be totally passive – the international part will be handled through Vanguard. Given that I might be paying up to $40k in KiwiSaver fees over my lifetime, I’ll be keeping an eye on this to see if it’s worth switching. Maybe other KiwiSaver providers will up their game and sharpen up.

This week’s links

Still not quite sure how to answer this: What are you proud of?

The best financial advice

What’s harder: saving or repaying debt?

8 financial commandments

Finally, I’m feeling this post on first home ownership so hard right now.

Link love (the cake-for-breakfast edition)

The best weekends start with cake. Always.

And then they segue into bumper link roundups. One that’s had me mulling it over is this HuffPo piece on honest marriage vows. My 2 cents: I couldn’t agree more on the dishes – this is why a dishwasher is a must for me when we renovate; and so far, working towards a place of trust around managing money seems to be working.

This week’s links

The power of financial surrender

And of changing your money mindset

Frugality takes time

Bleeding on the job

Rent rage

Mind hacks for money stress

The stories we tell ourselves matter (and here’s my version of this)

You’re not meant to do what you love – you’re meant to do what you’re good at

Working in your passion is overrated

Affiliate income for beginners 

The allure of shiny better vs real  better:

In my humble opinion, real better has these characteristics.

It brings a deep, calming happiness rather than a shopping-thrill kind of rush.

It doesn’t rob future you of comfort, stability and choice.


Link love (the is-winter-over-yet? edition)

NZMuse - Link love roundup with awesome reads from the week

I always imagined that once I bought a house I’d like to get a cleaner in maybe quarterly for a deep clean.

This month I bought a GrabOne daily deal for a house clean from a local company. I’m not sure I’d use them again – they don’t have a website and only a cell phone, and despite confirming spare key access over the phone (because I’d be at work when they came) I got a text that morning saying that nobody had answered the door. They sent someone back and I came home to a clean place, at least.

While they did more of a regular clean rather than focusing on the other stuff like windows and baseboards and high cobwebs (maybe I should have been more specific? Definitely looking for a specific spring clean package next time) they did a 1000x better job on everything than I do. Shower, floors, etc. I could easily get used to this, I tell ya.

This week’s links

The reality of renting. Fuck that shit (pardon my language, but seriously). I’m so glad to put that phase behind me. I get enraged just thinking about it, especially our last tenancy – though at least it wasn’t on this level of bad

Another reality check: the financials of being a best-selling author (a great if not surprising read from my perspective as someone who would kinda like to write a book one day if I could come up with an idea)

 The importance of (good) coworkers

Ain’t no room for shame in your budget

You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t love yourself in. Sometimes leaving is the best thing you can do for yourself (I know this to be true)

Link love (the grumpypants edition)

NZMuse - Link love roundup with awesome reads from the week

I’ve come to realise that I have a deep seated mistrust of authority.

I – and people close to me – have had too many sour experiences with authorities. Just a few examples:

  • Police who profile and fabricate charges.
  • Property managers without scruples.
  • The driver licensing tester who literally got out and kicked our car.
  • Telcos that overcharge, have opaque billing practices and that make it impossible for you to contact them.
  • Agencies that fail to communicate with each other and send you to debt collection.

I’ve dealt with great cops and case managers, to whom I am forever grateful, but equally have seen so many instances that were not up to scratch. It makes it hard to trust people in authority roles to be honest and to do the right thing.

This week’s links

The many, many problems with ‘follow your passion’: “Most people’s passions just don’t fit well with the world of work… Our interests and passions also evolve over time…  And while we’re at it, the idea of “following your gut” to find work you love is also terrible advice. The evidence suggests that we’re bad at predicting what will make us happy.”

Experiences often require THINGS:  “All of the people who are all “experiences are more important than things” are using a lot of airplanes, backpacks, hiking boots, and $200 bottles of wine to get those experiences. YOU CAN’T DO IT WITHOUT THINGS, PEOPLE.”

Racism and inequality (and how fascism thrives): “Racism, and fascism, are very successful scams that sell to the desperate. Fascism understands that people want to feel valued and integral part of something larger. Racism is, sadly, the easiest and cheapest way to do that… If you hate racism, then you really really really should hate any economic and social system that creates and rewards massive inequality. Because when you get that. You get racism.”

The career crossroads checklist: “This crossroad looks unfamiliar—for the first time in your career, you have options. You now have experiences under your belt, connections in the industry, and a work history that reflects your talents. This next decision is different than your first career decision because where you land and the work you do influences your trajectory.”

A financial sanity fund: “I don’t know exactly when I will spend the monies in the fund but I know that I eventually will. Like an emergency fund, this fund helps me sleep better at night, knowing I can still live the life I want to now while building a better one for my future.”

The changing world of media employment: “The system seemed broken on a variety of levels but especially for those actually creating the content. On the other hand, brands seemed to be doing the opposite; they were paying writers on time and had the marketing side figured out in a way the industry I worked for simply didn’t.”

What makes a good marriage: “Is it bad if you’re not happy every day? Is it bad if your partner cheats? Is it bad if it ends in divorce? Or does badness come down to the big stuff, like abuse?”

Link love (the sleep deprived edition)

An assortment of random, workplace related thoughts:

  • Instead of getting caught up in jealousy and insecurity, I’ve been really trying to consciously focus on learning from other people at work.
  • The outcomes of something I worked on came in for some criticism the other week. A couple years ago I think I would have been devastated, but I took it in my stride. I’m confident enough in myself, my judgement and skills these days to stand by what I do, especially when a number of others came in to bat on my side.
  • Suddenly it seems a bunch of people I used to work with have snagged shiny new jobs as “Head of Something or Other”. I have zero desire to be head of anything, but I do get a small pang of professional envy…

This week’s links

Bored of all the jobs, don’t know what to do with myself (Two great points from Ask a Manager here, I think: Funding your ability to live life is the core of success; and why are some people expected to be okay with working for a paycheck while others are encouraged to settle for nothing less than their dreams?)

The biggest lie I ever told

Forget cardboard houses – sometimes you’re sailing through life on a cardboard boat

The truth about work-life balance

Why I don’t want to be self employed

How can you tell if an experience is worth the money?

Motivation is a myth

Money questions to ask before the wedding

How to feel good

Polling people on their lady parts

What keeps me in Auckland? Work. Loved ones. Malaysian food. The landscapes. 20 degree days in June.

Nip up Mt Eden and look out across the city at Rangitoto. How great is that view? Swing round and look back out at the Waitakeres. We live in a tree city set among volcanoes. It’s like Endor. Ewoks would be happy here. We have relaxing beaches on the North Shore and full-on ones out West. Jump on a ferry to Waiheke, have a sniff around Rodney. It’s bloody great around here.