Tag Archives: blogging

Link love (the sleep deprived edition)

An assortment of random, workplace related thoughts:

  • Instead of getting caught up in jealousy and insecurity, I’ve been really trying to consciously focus on learning from other people at work.
  • The outcomes of something I worked on came in for some criticism the other week. A couple years ago I think I would have been devastated, but I took it in my stride. I’m confident enough in myself, my judgement and skills these days to stand by what I do, especially when a number of others came in to bat on my side.
  • Suddenly it seems a bunch of people I used to work with have snagged shiny new jobs as “Head of Something or Other”. I have zero desire to be head of anything, but I do get a small pang of professional envy…

This week’s links

Bored of all the jobs, don’t know what to do with myself (Two great points from Ask a Manager here, I think: Funding your ability to live life is the core of success; and why are some people expected to be okay with working for a paycheck while others are encouraged to settle for nothing less than their dreams?)

The biggest lie I ever told

Forget cardboard houses – sometimes you’re sailing through life on a cardboard boat

The truth about work-life balance

Why I don’t want to be self employed

How can you tell if an experience is worth the money?

Motivation is a myth

Money questions to ask before the wedding

How to feel good

Polling people on their lady parts

What keeps me in Auckland? Work. Loved ones. Malaysian food. The landscapes. 20 degree days in June.

Nip up Mt Eden and look out across the city at Rangitoto. How great is that view? Swing round and look back out at the Waitakeres. We live in a tree city set among volcanoes. It’s like Endor. Ewoks would be happy here. We have relaxing beaches on the North Shore and full-on ones out West. Jump on a ferry to Waiheke, have a sniff around Rodney. It’s bloody great around here.

 

 

Link love (Powered by cake and coats)

NZ Muse link love

Dispatches from our animal kingdom:

  • Our chickens have probably grown about 50%. They are huge compared to when we first brought them home! They still aren’t laying yet. Not exactly sure how old they are but their combs haven’t turned red yet (they are in the beginning stages)

 

  • We started off feeding them pellets, which the dog used to try and steal. Now we feed them mash, which she doesn’t really seem interested in.

 

  • The dog tends to follow them around curiously but I’m pretty sure we’ve drilled into her that they are friends, not foes.

 

  • But she will try to chase birds. In fact, she actually managed to catch one the other, unbelieveably. It eventually died 🙁

 

  • She is me in dog form – seriously food motivated, and prefers drinking warm water to cold #asianforlife.

 

This week’s links

Don’t follow your passion. I wholly agree, as per this and this

What if you just don’t make enough money to get ahead?

Auckland house shopping with a $550,000 cap

Personal finance lessons from Buffy

This has been a sad week for humanity. But let’s remember the vast majority of us are good folk and let’s do our bit to preserve that. Here are 2 pieces from Captain Awkward and Ask Polly that made me cry while on the train to work.

Link love (the winter edition)

Link love NZ MuseI’ve been reading a lot lately. Books about money, even! While it’s wildly idealistic and rather fluffy in parts, there were 5 particular passages in The Soul of Money that stood out to me.

  • “I have seen the powerful grip that money has on our lives, the wounds and hardship that it can impose on us, and the immense healing power of even the smallest amount of money when we used it to express our humanity – our highest ideals and our most soulful commitments and values.”

 

  • “We all have an identifiable, though largely unconscious and unexamined, relationship with money that shapes our experience of life and our deepest feelings about ourselves and others. Whether you count your change in dollars, yen, rupees, or drachmas, money is one of the central, linchpin issues in all our lives. It is in mine, and it is a central issue for everyone I’ve ever met, no matter how much or how little money they have.”

 

  • “We are born into a culture defined by money, and our initial relationship with money is the product of that culture, whether it is one based primarily in poverty, in a country like Mozambique or Bangladesh, or a culture of affluence and wealth in a country like the US or Japan. From our earliest experiences, we learn money’s place and power in our families, our communities and in our own lives.”

 

  • “No matter where we are in the political, economic, or financial resource spectrum, the myths and mindset of scarcity create an underlying fear that we, and the people we love or care about, won’t have enough of what’s needed to have a satisfying, happy, productive, or even survivable life.”

 

  • “No matter how much or how little money you have flowing through your life, when you direct that flow with soulful purpose, you feel wealthy. You feel vibrant and alive when you use your money in a way that represents you, not just as a response to the market economy, but also as an expression of who you are.”

This week’s links

Why a paid off house is so important (hell yes to every point)

The importance of a ‘don’t be boring’ budget (hell yes to this too)

Things to move towards, and away from

Chatting about self employment

How to squeeze more out of your limited holiday time

Link love (the looking back edition)

I’ve just finished reading How To Be An Adult In Relationships, which a couple of people have recommended.

It was probably the wrong time to pick it up, as in months too late; and to be frank it didn’t meet my personal expectations overall. It got off to a slow start and I almost gave up but I’m glad I didn’t, as it improved from there. If it reinforced one thing for me, it’s how much our parents and childhood shape our ability to relate to others as adults…! There were definitely quite a few parts that spoke deeply to me, and I thought I’d share them here.

  • Are you happy together more than half the time? Would you stay in a relationship with someone you loved if you were unhappy?
  • Here are the words of an adult: “Even though ……… I have to let you go because you do not meet me at my soul/adult level.”
  • We need conflict in order to evolve from romantic projection to mature self-affirmation.
  • Am I in a relationship with someone who presses down on my lively energy like an incubus, an invisible yet nonetheless weighty presence? Why do I allow anyone to limit my energy?
  • Ask for what you want 100 percent of the time. Say yes to yourself twice as often as you say no, but be willing to compromise.
  • Sometimes it is necessary to let my feelings happen without acting on them. Sometimes holding is more important to my growth than releasing. This means surrendering control over my feelings and riding them where they may go or stay.
  • Being compassionate does not mean becoming a caretaker. (And there’s an excellent chart contrasting the two)
  • “How shall I proceed? Do I wait for her to change, or do I find a way to take care of myself and attend to my concerns using my own resources?”

This week’s links

Stop telling me to quit my job!

“One of the many things I was tired of was the constant judgment of women …the constant message that being sexy means being naked.” Preach, Alicia Keys!

On keeping creativity and money separate

Calling out a racist

On balancing saving and life (I can’t handle multiple goals at once either!)

Letting go of stress

All the ways we get ripped off just by living in NZ

Spending no more than $150 on food for five days ‘do-able but pretty miserable’ for family of six (we spend about this much for 2 people for a week and are reasonably frugal -we would struggle to pull this off even if we cut right back!)

Link love (powered by fires and rain)

 

  • The other week I went to my first ever No Lights No Lycra session. Basically, you get together in a public hall, turn the lights off and dance to music for an hour. Sounds weird but it’s incredibly fun! Look for the Facebook group if you’re interested.

 

  • I realised I’ve been undersalting food all my life and only now am I really starting to understand what a difference salt makes to a dish (no surprise, I’m a far superior food critic than I am a cook)

 

  • At all of my jobs (minus the first) my boss has either left, or gone on parental leave at some point. I inevitably get asked if I’m going to apply for the position – and in every case I’ve had no interest in doing so. Not quite sure what that says about me and my aspirations.

This week’s links

7 fresh ways to save money with heart

The privilege of chasing your dreams

When your romantic partner isn’t holding up their end of the bargain

A fascinating read on class and politics in the Trump era

Money => security => easier to save money

27 lessons about money

(Mostly) free ways to show love

Life lessons from growing up poor

Good vs bad reasons to quit

10 things to know about work by age 30

Banking happiness for tough times

Finally, I’m way late on the party to this one, but for anyone who feels they’re falling behind:

“Most of our unhappiness stems from the belief that our lives should be different than they are. We believe we have control — and our self-loathing and self-hatred comes from this idea that we should be able to change our circumstances, that we should be richer or hotter or better or happier. While self-responsibility is empowering, it can often lead to this resentment and bitterness that none of us need to be holding within us. “

Link love (the hustling edition)

NZ Muse link love

In the past I’ve said yes to freelance opportunities that turned out to be huge pains in the ass, more often than not. So I was a bit wary about one that recently crossed my path. But happily – even though it was in an industry I have zero interest in – between their ridiculously lovely and passionate boss, the great brand story, their willingness to pay good rates and just generally being nice to work with, it was surprisingly fun.

Finding satisfaction in work is a multi-headed beast.

This week’s links

What to do with your broke but wonderful boyfriend (such a surprisingly common problem!)

I work hard to meet my needs – and even harder for my wants

The real problem with all those ‘How I got out of tons of debt fast’ articles

The tenets of financial wellbeing

A lovely story of compromise and coming together on money

When to give up and when not to

Finally, there’s lots of good stuff in Sheryl Sandberg’s commencement speech, which I’m just catching up on now. I am glad she acknowledges her immense privilege – it completely aligns with my post earlier this week on the value of financial security when you’re going through hardship. Sucky times suck bad enough without having to stress about money, too.

Link love (the salted caramel edition)

Ever since I left home young, I would describe my relationship with my parents as ‘complicated’.

We’re not touchy feely. We’re not even very talky. Getting past the past has been a slow and more or less silent process. Over time, the cracks have patched themselves.

Shortly after moving into my house, while putting away the various bits of the Christmas gift package they got me, I came across a handwritten card that I’d originally missed when I opened it.

I read it, and cried. It was a little strange, reading something that had been written a few months ago, with all that had happened since. There was no judgement or disappointment in it, only unconditional support – just as the following months came to prove.

It’s funny that I found myself back in my childhood home 10 years later. But as much as I needed to leave when I left, I really needed to return when I did.

This week’s links

Sometimes Mother’s Day is complicated

The things we did not do

Examining choices around name changing and marriage

How do you find a cause you care about?

The upside of being highly sensitive

When misery clouds your financial judgement

Working for The Man sure has its upsides

And finally, it’s time we examine the messages we’re sending about creative fulfillment

Link love (the gratitude edition)

NZMuse - Link love roundup with awesome reads from the week

I had originally hoped to buy a house one or two suburbs over, ever so slightly closer to the city (it was a bit of a long shot, to be honest).

I’m glad I didn’t. It worked out for the best.

I love that there are so many great places to run and walk with the pup (and a dog park around the corner). Two major cycleways/walking paths, one that passes horses and vineyards. A short bush/forest trail, even.

I love that we are close to crazy cheap supermarkets and grocers, and down the road from an amazing bakery.

And I love the fact that I can actually get a seat on the train (because it fills up FAST along this line).

I live nearly equidistant from two train stations – they’re about 20 minutes walk from home, though one is slightly closer and can be easily done in 15 at a brisk pace. The train station is just a couple of minutes from my office at the city end. And the train is just so darn civilised – it’s smooth, great for people watching and occasionally there’s wifi.

There is a bus stop practically on my doorstep but it’s slightly more expensive and less frequent. Plus, traffic.  Ugh. There lots of roadworks on nearby so it takes forever to get to the motorway (but at least once on the motorway it’s fine, plus the sea views and the horses near the onramp are easy on the eye). It is a longer walk at the city end to my office (10-15 minutes) but slightly less walking overall still, and it’s more sheltered if it’s raining.

This week’s links

Luck matters – more than you might think

The biggest wastes of time we regret

Every dream starts with this

Simple pleasures

Why we read

Succumbing to lifestyle inflation

A better approach to networking

Convincing a partner to get a better job

And a succinct but bang-on summary of the Auckland housing market

Link love (powered by stew and strolls)

NZ Muse link loveI think I need to accept that life just never gets easier. Yes, you become stronger and smarter but as your resilience grows, so do the hurdles. Gone are the days of high-school-sized issues and injustices. It doesn’t seem fair, but them’s the breaks.

Women are awesome. My closest IRL friends may be male, and have been incredible supports when I needed it, but there are some things they will simply never understand. From crushes in long term relationships to emotional labour and pulling your financial weight, female friends get the gender dynamics that my dudes don’t.

I’m very passionate about the state of the housing market and the huge effects it has on people’s lives – mostly from a quite personal angle, but also at a more macro, societal level.  A spirited conversation about this at our weekly all staff meeting about this very topic and what it all means for New Zealanders – especially in retirement – got me quite fired up and reaffirms that I’m in the right place (both at work and at home). It’s incredible how much difference it makes being free of the “emotional and financial challenges of renting”, as it was put.

This week’s links

A great post on household division of labour and finances when the woman earns more (because things do not always fall neatly along the lines of High Earning Busy Spouse and Low Earning But With Lots of Flexibility Spouse)

Sherry sums up some thoughts on the circular logic of early retirement/financial independence more eloquently than I ever could have

Sometimes, YOU’RE the rich friend

A couple of  things about poverty

How important is job satisfaction, really?

Graduating beyond frugal habits 

You’re making life harder for yourself

What does money mean to you?

Sometimes less is just less – minimalism within reason, guys

Link love (the settling in edition)

NZ Muse link love

There’s quite a few things I need to furnish my house, but it will be a slow process as I’m on a tight budget.

As with clothing, my preference is to buy second hand and get better quality.

I find myself walking a fine line, though. Obviously, I want pieces that are solid and in good shape, that look presentable. Not necessarily pristine – after all they’re going to take a battering in my household! But I don’t want items that have already sustained actual injuries in the line of war, like rips and tears.

This week’s links

PSA: fill up your own cup first

The funnel of financial privilege

What money is really for

Income as power

A millennial and baby boomer trade places

What travel does for (and to) you

When you find yourself surprised by what you want out of life

A life without writing

The comments on this post are really quite excellent