Not everyone is smart about money. I get that.
BF comes from a financially illiterate family. Draw from that conclusions what you will. I find it frustrating to hear him say “Oh, ______ got a flash new TV!” But of course, that flash new TV is on hire purchase at an exorbitant rate. Saving up for things is unheard of, even scorned, for the most part.
I’m trying to teach him differently. I doubt he’ll ever be able to handle credit responsibly, at least not for a long time. He’s a cash-only kind of person. I’ve also managed to scrape together a small EF for him, which I’m willing to bet is more than anyone in his family could say the same of.
I would never, ever dream of deliberately having a child and going on welfare. If I was going to have a child, I would have a plan in place. And yes, I know accidents happen. If an accident happened when I was more established in life, I suppose that might be work-round-able. But right now? No way. No possible way. I would condemn anyone who brought a baby into the world, barely able to make ends meet themselves, with no established career or fallback, and I certainly wouldn’t do it myself.
BF says things that I really don’t like sometimes. I know he doesn’t actually mean them, especially when we’re both on the downers, but still. For example, we were discussing the above situation; he said something along the lines of “oh, that would be okay, I’d just get a crap job, you’d get money for the kid, etc”.
That’s just unfathomable to me. A life of always struggling, always worrying, never having enough, always being at the bottom of the ladder. I hate that he can even say something like that – I know he wants much, much better for us in our lives. So it frustrates me when he comes out with lines like that.
The middle brother of his family has just moved out on his own, with the one car the family had. Originally he had a scooter, but he ended up taking the car and driving to and from work every day. Now the car is with him, the scooter left behind with the family, who now have to rely on others to help get them around.
That totally bewilders me. I mean, I don’t have kids. I don’t know what it’s like. But to send off a kid, working full time with a pretty decent income, with the car, putting yourself in a really difficult situation? And the kid, to take it? It’s not like he can’t afford to buy his own.
I said that to BF. I pointed out that obviously Brother is capable of saving; he went to Aussie for Christmas after a few months of socking money away. BF gently said that he knew him much better than me, and that he would have only saved exactly as much as his mum told him to, and not a cent more (and then blew a whole lot more $ while over there).
Gah. People frustrate me. I hope I can impart better to my kids. I don’t know how yet, but at least I have plenty of time to figure that out.