I can honestly say that I have never given any thought to a “dream wedding”. To be honest, I don’t really understand what it is that apparently drives little girls to do so; I must have missed out on whatever gene it is, or whatever outside influences (advertising?) that encourages us to plan “our big day”. Or maybe it’s because I hate being the centre of attention. Maybe that’s it.
Despite that, I’ve always planned to get married. Even though I could never imagine kissing somebody in front of my parents (and it’s still hard to fathom.) I’d consider myself pretty liberal, but marriage is something that’s important to me, and there is a certain order to three big milestones in my mind: 1. Marriage. 2. House buying. 3. Kids. This is just a personal thing, mind you – I have zero problems with others doing it differently.
Until lately. I started questioning the whole thing. Do I want to spend thousands on one day? (You know me; I’d want to spend something like $5k max, but that’s still a chunk of change). If I’m gonna get married, I’m gonna make an effort for it, not just go to the courthouse. And while I only care about three things: having decent photos, a pretty (but frugal) dress and tasty food, they are going to cost something. The good thing about never having been to a wedding is I have no preconceptions and know nothing of what is “expected”.
Do I really have a problem with having kids outside of marriage? No. Do I want to deal with the meeting and mingling of our vastly different families (they are as far apart as you could imagine)? NO. Am I going to change my mind on changing my name? No, so that’s an issue we’d have to spend some time bashing out.
But there is the legal stuff to consider, and it would be nice to have our friends together, to have photos to look back at, to dance and be merry (compiling a playlist is probably what would excite me most).
I don’t really have close girlfriends to help me plan (and trust me, planning and organising events is right up there with public speaking for me. HATE IT.)
I am seriously tempted to elope.
Whatever, either way, a wedding is still a couple of years away. I have at least one big trip to plan and pay for first. (Backpacking across Europe/driving across America are not appropriate honeymoon plans in my view.) I’m still way too young to even consider calling myself a married woman (if things go as planned, I’ll be at least 25. Assuming we set a date in, say, a year at earliest and planning takes at least another year). And this way we have a couple of years to stumble across an amazing venue that won’t cost the earth (you hear me, universe?) I’m not down with the backyard BBQ, but neither am I keen for a super formal sitdown thing. Financials aside, I’m just not ready to dive into all the stress and drama of wedding planning anytime this year. Hopefully people can respect that.
Also, there are already texts from extended family wanting to know “when the pissup is”. Yeah. Exactly. I’m going to have them probably poking fun at my uptight Asian parents and they’ll be horrified at the uncouth bogans and it will NOT be like My Big Fat Greek Wedding where everyone downs shots and gets merry together because mine don’t drink at all, ever.
It’s a shame, because so many of you just got hitched, or are about to, so now really would be ideal for starting to plan. Never mind, I’ll soak it up as I go and store it for later. Revanche, we can still totally talk hypothetical budgets (!!)
(Also, what on earth do we do about engagement photos? Do we do them at all? We’re two of the most camera-shy, least photogenic people ever. I love the idea of a beautiful shoot, but the odds of it going well are very low, and our friend with the most photography chops recently relocated to western Australia. Asshat.)
Yes, a few years will be good.