Leaving saved my marriage

How an ultimatum saved my marriage

I have never really believed in ultimatums.

But there were no other options left.

If the price of stability and a home was being alone, I realised I would take that deal in a heartbeat. See also: Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

You need to set your own boundaries; decide:

what you want and need

what you can and cannot accept

what you expect and deserve

It isn’t selfish to put your own oxygen mask on first. To stay true to your own goals. To refuse to  allow someone else to derail your dreams and hold you back.

The end of 2015 was a low, low point for us. I think we both found ourselves disappointed in one another, to varying degrees.

It was an opportunity to reevaluate our priorities (or, for me at least, to reinforce mine and validate my decision), and have the space to take a step back and reflect.

Sometimes, you gotta burn things down if there’s going to be any hope of rebuilding them again.

5 thoughts on “Leaving saved my marriage

  • Reply Harmony@CreatingMyKaleidoscope May 6, 2016 at 02:55

    I really needed to read this today. The hubby and I are in a rough patch. There are a lot of things that I’m trying to accomplish right now, so much of the household stuff is being diverted to him. We’re both somewhat stressed out, stubborn, and putting up walls again. I’m usually the one who gives in and mends things, but it shouldn’t always have to be me.

  • Reply The Personal Economist May 6, 2016 at 12:32

    Thanks for sharing. Good point, you’ve got to put your own oxygen mask on first. Distance can create clarity.

  • Reply Jennifer Cooper @ Travelbllgr May 8, 2016 at 22:28

    I have been reading your museings for a couple of years now and have been saddened to read your latest posts. I hope you two can rebuild your relationship x

  • Reply Karen May 11, 2016 at 03:30

    First off, I want to say thank you much for stopping by and commenting on my posts. I haven’t been receiving comments like I have in the past few years, so I do really appreciate you stopping by and giving your honest opinions.

    I am truly sorry and heartbroken you are going through this, because it must be very taxing on your physically, mentally and emotionally. And no, there is absolutely nothing selfish about putting yourself and staying true to your goals. At the end of the day, you need to look out for you. You are what matters the most. You can only sacrifice so much.

  • Reply Jaime @ Jaime Donovan May 20, 2016 at 17:01

    I think a lot of relationships go through the pits. There are men and women that don’t stand up for themselves and their ethics and end up being taken advantage of. You have to stay true to yourself. You teach people how to treat you. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m hoping that you two can heal and rebuild what has been broken.

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