Not a girl, not yet a woman (or, turning 23 > turning 13)

Yes, I just quoted a horrendous, no-good, very bad Britney song. No, I’m not apologising.

  • I am the girl who feels that the label “fiancee” finally conveys the gravity of her relationship, but doesn’t feel old enough to be a “wife”
  • I am the woman for whom packs of schoolgirls call “make way for the lady!” when running past, sweaty and out of breath
  • The girl who who never have been voted MVP, but could have made MVTP
  • The woman who wears heels maybe twice a year (a choice validated everytime she’s forced to stand on the bus)
  • The girl who should never read long books, because she’ll make herself sick reading on the bus, trip over her feet while walking and reading, and be a zombie the next day at work after staying up to finish said book
  • The woman who prefers discussing people to ideas, even if that makes her small-minded. there’s nothing more fascinating than the human psychology, and what’s an idea without people to dream them up and execute them?
  • The girl who’s still a little afraid of the dark
  • The woman who likes very little music pre-1970 or post-2000

Turning 23 has made me think long and hard about a lot of things. In particular, looking back at where I’ve come from. Ten years ago, I was obsessed with:

  1. wanting my knees to NOT knock together when I ran
  2. wanting to be the kind of girl who went out every Friday and Saturday night
  3. wanting long curly lashes
  4. wanting a thin nose
  5. wanting curly hair
  6. wanting better skin
  7. wanting a boyfriend (not necessarily in that order. Probably in reverse, actually)

(Dude, for a nerd I was incredibly shallow.)

I was convinced life would be so much better if only these things could happen. Of course, it all seems perfectly ridiculous now with a decade of wisdom to draw on (har de har har).

Turning 23 > turning 13.

12 thoughts on “Not a girl, not yet a woman (or, turning 23 > turning 13)

  • Reply Emily Jane July 8, 2011 at 04:28

    I will forgive your Brittney reference by what a great post this was. It’s funny to think how much can change in ten years when you can remember so clearly everything you felt and wished for like it was yesterday. I wonder what we’ll be writing about ten years from NOW!

  • Reply Clare - Never Niche July 8, 2011 at 05:45

    THANK YOU for saying that about discussing people and not ideas. I have been trying to not gossip as much because I’m way too involved in the goings-on of my friends’ lives but I can’t help but be completely fascinated with it. I hope this doesn’t make me a small mind either.

    Anyway, it made my day that you agree.

  • Reply cantaloupe July 8, 2011 at 05:55

    Perhaps it seems ridiculous because you now have a boy. Those are clearly desires of a single woman and ones that I held my entire life. Up until I got a boy. Then I scoffed at how ridiculous I used to be. Until I lost the boy. And then my desires went right back to my 13 year old desires….

    I don’t know what my point is but that list made me consider that. And happy birthday, wooo.

  • Reply Tracey July 8, 2011 at 10:27

    I can relate to this. I’m 24 (almost 25! gulp) and still feel like I’m 13 sometimes, just starting High School 🙂 And yet I’m starting to have those “grown up” urges, husband, baby, lifestyle block in the country (actually more the last one if I’m honest!)

  • Reply lkrant July 8, 2011 at 10:37

    I think I can remember when I was 23! I thought I was very mature and could handle anything. The truth is it is all perspective. Life looks very different at 25, 30 and 40! Make the best of it, enjoy it and learn from it.

  • Reply Amber from Girl with the Red Hair July 8, 2011 at 12:51

    I was working an event today and two 16 year old boys came by and it felt SO WEIRD to me to think of them as 16 when I can remember being 16 SO CLEARLY and still feel 16 some days. This getting older thing is definitely kind of weird 😉

  • Reply Insomniac Lab Rat July 8, 2011 at 15:15

    Well I’m 24 (and a half) and still feel too young to be “a wife”, but like you, I really felt that being “a fiancee” was a good description of my serious relationship. It probably doesn’t help that I, apparently, still look 18…

    My 13 year old wish list was pretty similar to yours- except instead of number one, I wanted to randomly discover that I was good enough at a sport to compete in the Olympics. Why was I obsessed with the Olympics? I have no idea. But there you go 🙂

  • Reply SP July 8, 2011 at 17:05

    Happy birthday!

  • Reply Sense July 9, 2011 at 00:42

    happy happy birthday!!! 🙂

  • Reply unknowntheartist July 10, 2011 at 14:16

    Happy Belated Birthday! I just remembered you’re the only southern hemisphere blogger I read who has a bday close to mine (yay for winter babies).

    I can totally relate to the woman/girl thing still. I cant stand being called lady and get offended if someone says I’m too young to know who the Beatles are!?

    I feel like I live my life more as an adult ‘cos I am able to catch up on the things I would have loved to do when I was 13.
    BTW, I would have gladly swapped my curly hair for your beautiful straight mane 🙂
    Happy birthday once again and enjoy our birthday week!!!!

  • Reply On age, self-confidence, boys and body image | Musings of an Abstract Aucklander July 14, 2011 at 19:32

    […] comment on my post Turning 23 > turning 13, in which I recalled some of the things I wanted most in the world 10 years ago, got me […]

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