During wedding planning, it was flowers that tipped me over the edge. This time, it was waiting on some much needed money because T sent it to the wrong account number – not once but TWICE. The first money he’s earned in months, and it’s stuck in banking no man’s land. *insert every curse word that exists*
If I’m being totally honest with myself, I feel like I lost most of last year to depression and stress. I feel stuck.
There are always choices, even if they’re unpalatable. I have thought about how to get unstuck – separating at least temporarily, or even running away overseas. I’ve considered the options and decided continuing the status quo is the best one.
But I just want to be able to plan. I want to be able to make progress. I cannot set goals or progress towards them the way things currently stand.
I dislike ambiguity at work, too, but in many ways it’s baked into the nature of the job. I can handle it, I’ve learned to cope – but I hate dealing with ambiguity in my personal life.
So, no goals for me this year. Just stay sane and, to quote Dory, keep on swimming.