Blogging helped me shape the life I wanted, but I rarely blog anymore (a guest post)

How blogging changed my life

This is a post from a dear friend and former PF blogger – who’s forged her own path and is killing it if I do say so myself. Enjoy 🙂

There was a season, many years ago, when blogging was my passion and surrounded everything I did. I blogged my heart out from 2011 to 2013 and sold my blog by the end of that year. I still write online here and there, but blogging doesn’t consume me the way it did when I had a very personal personal finance blog.

Blogging Can Change Your Life (It Changed Mine)

Blogging was one of the best, purpose-driven actions I ever took. When I created my blog, I was 28 years old and loaded with over $30,000 of credit card debt. I was unorganized, unsure of where I was headed and frustrated that I always felt broke and trapped in debt. I was good at math, so what the heck was my problem?

Googling my way to a solution, I read a half-dozen personal finance blogs where people took stock of their finances and dispensed advice on ways to keep improving, and I knew I had to start my own blog.

I won’t bore you with the details, because mine is a tale that’s literally become creation myth for hundreds of personal finance bloggers.

So here is the short version: I got my act together financially, paid off ALL my debt, got a much better job and found much deeper happiness in a more frugal and less consumption-focused lifestyle. I completed what I set out to do: paid off my debt and took charge of my life and the incredible growth I had experienced in the past couple years through my blog and connection to the blogging community would soon come from another interest (more on that later).

Fast forward five years to present day, and my life doesn’t resemble those who have turned blogging into a full-time gig. People who used to comment on my blog are straight up famous now!

Some Bloggers Became HUGE

If you look at the Personal Finance Blog alumni network of circa 2012 (my term), it’s a Who’s Who of media personalities: Jeff Rose is a personal finance media powerhouse and recently starred in a TLC reality TV show. Cait Flanders is well on her way to becoming a NYT-bestselling author with her first book, The Year of Less. Michelle Schroeder is about to start sailing around the world while raking in over $100K a month from her blog. I just saw Ramit Sethi on Adam Ruins Everything, among many other TV appearances. Even still-anonymous Financial Samurai dominates the first page of Google search results for tons of key personal finance concepts, bringing in new readers daily to his tongue-in-cheek personal finance site.

A lot of the bloggers I used to know have become polished, gleaming gurus in their own right, selling courses, books, ebooks, hosting podcasts, web series and having fun doing it. If there was one key that it seemed all of us bloggers were interested in both then and now, it was that often talked about, rarely grasped, tenuous freedom we seek in our brief lives.

I’ve watched all of this growth from the outside now. The last FinCon I attended was back in 2012. I don’t really comment on or read personal finance blogs anymore, although I am lucky to count NZMuse among a few others as real-life friends who I get to visit and have come visit me.

But all of the incredible growth and success that I have witnessed sometimes makes me wonder: should I have kept on blogging? Didn’t I still have a story to tell? Did I miss my calling as a successful blogger, escaping the 9-5 and creating my own destiny?

It’s the Growth that Matters, Not the Blog

I won’t keep you in suspense for long: being a big time blogger or an online personality is just not for me.

Over the past eight years, I have found a role in a niche industry that I am passionate about and I freaking love what I do. I work with my friends. We laugh all day long as we navigate a fast-changing and fascinating market. I get invited to speak at conferences as an “expert”, which I like to shrug off as no big deal, but I really do know this business and I’m good at sharing my knowledge.

This is not an industry where everything is moving online or where you would be successful as a one-person or two-person shop. This industry requires a shitload of capital (political, social and economic). It’s easy to forget if your business revolves around online media, social media and direct to consumer marketing, but it’s a big world out there. Not all of it gets written about online.

There are more ways to find your calling, your passion or whatever they call it these days then refining a product to sell to your email list. There are more ways to become wealthy (if that’s your goal) than to hawk affiliate products, consumer products or be a media personality and get paid for that.

I know that sounds dismissive, but I don’t mean it to be so. No one knows better than a formerly mediocre blogger how hard it is to be a successful, profitable blogger. Plus, bloggers live a lifestyle that is unconventional and that’s not easy either, because people will always question anything that threatens their conventional understanding of the world. So I do think bloggers are pretty awesome.

But sometimes I get lost in their earnest calls to action. I’ve wondered if I’m doing something wrong because I still work.in.an.office (shudder) and I still get a biweekly paycheck (I’ll pause while the bloggers collectively cringe).

Work is What You Make It

But you know what? I decide when I go to work. I travel as much as I want. I get access to certain travel and business opportunities through work that I never imagined. I may still move on to other ventures on my own, and I am an active investor, but I am right where I need to be. I am somewhere in the top 1% of earners in my specific category (age, gender, education) and top 2% of all US wage earners. As much as possible, I have been creating my own destiny, and I like where it’s headed.

I don’t want to focus on how much money I make as if that validates me. I don’t think it does. Way back in the beginning, I said I started to find another outlet that led to growth after I sold my blog. Are you ready for it?

The Only Way Out is In

I started looking inward. I found a spiritual home in a 12-step meeting group, and even though I don’t abuse any substances, I found accountability, honesty and openness by attending those meetings and connecting to the idea of the twelve steps. Nowadays, I put my spiritual growth and mindfulness even ahead of the growth that I realized through blogging.

I would have never gotten to the 12 steps and mindfulness (I even go on meditation retreats!) without blogging. I had to break through the fog of my unconscious habits, consumerism and untested assumptions through blogging in order to be ready to look at deeper concepts in my life.

The path I walk now doesn’t need external validation. It doesn’t matter whether I create my own destiny as a freelancer, blogger, office worker or anything else. It doesn’t check if I’m doing a lot of things that look fun and amazing to the outside world. It doesn’t depend on another person for my happiness. It doesn’t even purport that happiness is the be-all, end-all of my existence. But the path I am on provides a lot of peace and serenity that I never knew before.

So that’s my story. There’s no product to sell and I don’t have a crafted online image or personality that I can present to the world. But that’s the way I prefer it. I have found other ways to connect to people and I may still write that novel yet (creators gotta create!).

The lessons I learned from having a blog changed my life and got me where I wanted to be in my life and career. I will never doubt my ability to create something, because having a blog allowed me to hit publish, create and reach readers. A blog is a great equalizer, allowing me to connect on a platform where I was only as good as my last post.

I took that lesson and now I create things offline and I don’t talk about it online. But without the blog, I may never have learned to believe in myself.

10 thoughts on “Blogging helped me shape the life I wanted, but I rarely blog anymore (a guest post)

  • Reply Jane February 1, 2018 at 07:10

    Hey, I just wanted to say I really enjoyed reading this. I decided to close my (very low readership) personal blog after I had a kiddo; didn’t feel quite right to share her story along with my own. I used to read a lot of PF blogs, and while I envy the flexibility a lot of those bloggers have now achieved, I ultimately crave structure and stability.

    • Reply eemusings February 6, 2018 at 14:57

      I remember your blog! I hope you and your family are well 🙂

      So do I – so do I. It may not be cool to admit (I was talking to a contractor at work about how I want to stay put for quite a while and when he paraphrased back to me that ‘you enjoy stability and security’ it almost felt like I had to apologise…) but that is my #1 priority.

  • Reply Mrs. ETT February 4, 2018 at 17:01

    The untold story told! It’s easy to look at what others achieve and wonder ‘what if?’ Like you, deep down I know it’s not for me. Or not for me in this iteration? Blogging has opened my eyes to possibilities everywhere, on and offline. I’m not ready to act, but when I am, I think I’ll have trouble deciding just which way I want to go!

  • Reply Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life February 7, 2018 at 06:53

    On the one hand, I understand those weird stirrings that whisper I’m a failure PF blogger because I’m not making 6 figures a month from it. There’s a structural and ingrained sense that success has to translate to dollars.

    On the other hand, I know better than that. When I remember how much my online life revolves around being anonymous and enjoying all the benefits of the friends I’ve made over the years, and how much I avoid being out in the spotlight or having to interact unduly with people, the life I’ve built is the right one. And occasionally, friends who would never have felt welcomed on any of the mega bloggers’ platforms because they’re just not relateable or accessible to them will privately tell me that I’ve made money accessible and helped them save. That’s been such a source of joy.

    Thus, I fully embrace how much I love a stable paycheck and building all my castles in the sky right here.

  • Reply Amanda February 8, 2018 at 08:13

    I love this! I started blogging back in 2013, so I can relate to watching how some of these bloggers that started out around that same time are now superstars! But on the flipside, most of aren’t even blogging anymore. Honestly, I can relate to so much more of this post than just that. Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply Nicoleandmaggie February 11, 2018 at 13:56

    What revanche said!

  • Reply Formerly Newlyweds on a Budget February 14, 2018 at 10:22

    I really enjoyed reading this too! As someone who used to blog and then just disappeared. I also believe blogging changed my life– heck, i met my husband bc of my blog! But I don’t miss the constant thought of “what will i blog about today?” and feeling like i had to comment on every single post others wrote. It was draining. I constantly felt glued to the online world. And the JUDGEMENT. I actually LOVE having a steady paycheck. I love having free time and not feeling like I have to be online all the time. And like the above commentor, once I had kids I realized I did not want to share their story. I’ve tried a few times to start a new blog and I just can’t seem to get back into it. And I realized I really don’t miss it. It was what I needed at the point in my life, and it helped me pay off all my debt, but I’m extremely happy now without the blog.

  • Reply Linda February 20, 2018 at 07:29

    I enjoyed this post. Some of us like regular paychecks and benefits and aren’t looking to make blogging our full time job. I’m not going to stop writing on my little blog, but it was never about trying to make money or build a new career.

  • Reply Anna Sakila April 11, 2018 at 21:54

    I have set up my blog for 2 years and learned a lot of things. It takes me a lot of time, but I love it. Thank you for sharing your experience and congratulate on finding a new path.

  • Reply cantaloupe May 11, 2018 at 23:23

    Good post, thumbs up emoji.

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