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Browsing tag: life

  • February 19, 2013

    Relationship dealbreakers, financial or otherwise

    It would be really nice to attend a wedding in which the couple was made for each other and we as guests fully supported the union. It’s sad to say that of the two I’ve been to (and one that I had to miss due to being out of town), none quite meet this benchmark.

    “Non crazy chicks are boring” is a line I actually heard at the most recent one. Not surprisingly, this is a couple who thrive on drama – or at least, their entire relationship is built upon it. That, and the child they have together. But there’s a lot to be said for stability, especially when you already have a family. And while a little craziness can be fun, abusiveness is never kosher.

    Because objectively, that’s what that relationship is. Abusive. While he’s not the only guy we know to be in a seriously unhealthy relationship – my female friends thankfully all have good taste, apparently – the other three I can think of have at least had the sense to get out. This one decided to commit for life.

    And somehow, I get the feeling that saying a few vows in front of a pastor is not going to magically fix things. Just an inkling.

    Abusive = overly controlling (whether that’s born of insecurity or something else, I don’t know. I’m talking setting arbitrary curfews like a parent rather than a partner, taking all your partner’s money, and so on), as well as physical abuse (manifested through blows, attempted choking, smashing of all your possessions, etc). Not all of these apply to the guy in question specifically, but these are all things that have happened collectively to the four friends I’m thinking of who’ve been in unhealthy relationships at one point or another.

    Making things slightly more tricky is when mental illness plays a part. (To my knowledge, it was/is a factor in some of these cases, though I’m not of course saying mental illness is or should be a barrier to happy relationships. Please don’t think that’s what I’m getting at. What I am trying to say is that being a human punching bag, literally or figuratively, is not helping either of you). But it is not an excuse to put up with abusive treatment.

    Guys (and gals). You deserve to be in a healthy and loving relationship, one that makes you feel good about yourself more of the time than not. When a restraining order is part of the mix (and you STILL go back?!), if you’re being regularly thrown out of the house, if your possessions are being unceremoniously dumped on your best man’s lawn while you hide inside his house, ALL IS NOT GRAVY.

    Despite anything we say or do, sometimes they hang on in there – it’s hard to watch and stand by but sometimes that’s all you can do. Is there anything more frustrating than hearing a friend justify their partner’s unacceptable behaviour?

    Though of course you can never really know unless you’re put in a situation yourself, these would be my dealbreakers:

    • Lying about finances
    • Prohibitive amounts of debt (subjective, I know)
    • Other irresponsible money habits
    • Not accepting you for who you are
    • Being overly controlling OR dependent on you
    • Doesn’t put you first (or second. Sorry, I’m still putting on my lifejacket first if the plane goes down
    • Violence of any kind. T is more than twice my size, so this would be an absolute non-negotiable. (The odd bruise caused by him picking me up with too firm a grip, – I’m delicate like an overripe fruit and was basically one giant walking bruise the year I played soccer – is excluded.)

    And that’s about all I have to say about that.

    With a slightly heavy heart, I ask you – what would your relationship dealbreakers be?

  • February 11, 2013

    Why I hate Valentine’s Day

    Why I hate Valentine's Day

    Seriously. I don’t care about Valentine’s Day at all.

    As a singleton, it’s a surefire way to feel terrible about your aloneness.

    As a couple, it’s about stupid societal pressure to validate your love through grand, sweeping gestures.

    Me, I’m not one for overdone romantic schtick. (But then again, I’m not engaged to a millionaire. Maybe things would be different if we played in the world of private yachts, holiday homes and personal chefs. We exist in a much more humble and down-to-earth dimension.) The best thing I could possibly imagine (on Valentine’s Day or any other day) would be to come home to dinner and a freshly scrubbed house. Literally.

    Valentine’s Day is about expecting guys in particular to go all out and to plan insanely amazing days for their partners. And as girls, are we supposed to feel let down or as though missing out – or as if our BFs are lacking – if they don’t come up with extravagant gifts and gestures?

    Thursday will be just another day, as we more or less ignore it. Maybe we’ll go out to eat, and maybe I’ll go watch The Princess Bride down at Silo Park with some friends.

    Tell me, how do you feel about Valentine’s Day? What’s the most/least romantic gesture anyone ever made towards you?

  • February 7, 2013

    My new worst fear of all

    So, apparently a guy I went to high school with has gone blind. A hereditary thing, but still a terrifying thing nonetheless.

    Because I was a morbid type of teen with too much time on my hands, I used to like to ponder things like whether I would rather lose my sight or my hearing. I was hardcore into music at the time, and I never could decide.

    Today, I would much rather be deaf than blind. Being blind would be incredibly limiting – I don’t know that I could work, really – and I’d lose the ability to read, my most favourite thing in the world. I’d be dependent on others around me, financially and in pretty much every other way.the biggest fear - my biggest fear is going blind. photo - eye reflection

    That said, I have pretty terrible eyesight as it is, and my bad vision does not come cheap. Basic lenses cost $200 these days, and you can double or triple that for the thinner lenses that higher prescriptions require. (How high is mine? I’d almost rather tell you my bra size, so embarrassing is it.)

    The worsening seems to have slowed, with my latest test showing changes mostly in my degree of astigmatism. This explains a LOT, like why I naturally lift my head when I’m straining to see something, or why the middle letters on the vision test were blurrier than those on the outside edges. I have fucked up curvature, let me tell you – one eye is 170 and the other at 2. I asked my optometrist why that might have changed, and she basically told me it was a mix of nature and nurture – genes and environment. My mother is also astigmatic, and I do a buttload of computer work – 8 hours plus a day due to work and play (probably close to 12 hours some days when I have a lot of freelance work on).

    This summer, I went to relax outside on the deck one sunny afternoon, an aspiration cut short when I freaked out at the realisation there was a black spot dancing across the blazing red field of my closed eyes. One that didn’t dissipate no matter how much I blinked and that moved when my eyes moved. Some Google searches later, I resigned myself to the fact that this floater was yet another sign of aging and will be with me forever. My little friend was initially only really visible against light backgrounds, but now if I concentrate, I can sometimes see it against busier backdrops. Sometimes I freak myself out first thing in the morning thinking I can see a whole army of floaters, one resembling a flock of migratory swallows on the move. I’m pretty sure I’m imagining those.

    My optometrist tells me I need to watch out for flashes of light, and get myself to a hospital quicksmart to avoid retina detachment and loss of sight. Heinous ex flatmate, the one who owes me nearly a grand, underwent a similar surgery some time ago. Now, there’s a part of me convinced the very worst is going to happen.

  • February 5, 2013

    Are you an emotional eater?

    I used to be an emotional eater. I used to be a whole lot more emotional, really, back when teenage life was just one looooong neverending drama. And to cope, I turned to one of my biggest loves (I don’t know whether food can beat out books, but I suppose given I need one to continue physically existing, it has the edge).emotional eating

    No, these days I’ve become someone completely different. Someone I would probably hate, actually. When I’m super on edge, I’ll do two things: start writing a ranty blog post in my head, then start itching for a run. Yes, a RUN. As in physical exercise, lace on your shoes, foot in front of the other, sweating it out.

    While I can’t intellectually understand eating disorders (I mean, I understand psychologically it’s about control, but I cannot imagine ever purposely depriving myself of food. Ever) I can actually imagine becoming somewhat addicted to exercise. The endorphin high really is something. And it feels good after, unlike when you’ve stuffed yourself silly with Tim Tams and feel like making sad whale sounds while curled up on the couch. I often finish up a run feeling I could have gone on for longer, wanting to go on for longer. When I take too long a break between runs, I find myself wondering “Why didn’t I do this before?!” in the first minute after leaving the house. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

    That said, I don’t know if I can really call myself much of a runner. I run. But the reality is … Twice a week, if I’m good. More than half an hour, if I’m good. Close to an hour, if I’m REALLY good. Lots of the time I just do a few blocks. I’ve done a couple of 10k races and done well, and I’m sure I have it in me to do longer runs – but as much as I’d like to say I’d done a full or half marathon, I don’t really want to. Proper long distances and me aren’t on super buddy buddy terms. I sometimes rather stay indoors and stretch properly while using my flex belt.

    I try to mix it up and incorporate a sprint into most runs. As T says, I’m kind of fit now that I run regularly. But it’s a fun thing for me; I don’t push myself, because I don’t really want to and I don’t see the need to. I’m keeping it light and enjoyable. Is that such a bad thing? Do you push yourself physically, or do you take exercise pretty casually as well?

    But back to food. I still eat for pleasure, but I no longer use it as a comforter or a crutch (though I kind of wanted to this weekend). Over time, I’ve also stopped stuffing myself at dinner time and learned to eat more slowly. It’s a strange feeling, not being uncomfortably full at night (and sometimes I underdo it and find myself hungry again before bed). But it enables me to actually DO things after dinner, rather than being so drained of energy and motivation that I just want to veg out with a book or New Girl before rolling my ass into bed.

    Do you have a healthy relationship with food? What did it take for you to get there? And, what’s your exercise style?

  • January 21, 2013

    Sometimes we push people away when we need them the most

    Sometimes we push people away when we need them the most

    Sometimes we push people away when we need them most

    I never cease to be amused when others call me wise and/or mature. I’m in fact pretty socially awkward and about as far from a people person as you can get, but I have rare moments of clarity when I can understand someone’s motivations by dint of being removed and impartial.

    Without going into too many details, one friendship circle has recently been rocked by the equivalent of the BP oil spill. Sudden, devastating, things-may-never-be-the-same-again. This is strange for me, because I have never really experienced much in the way of overt friend conflict. (Some covert conflict, yes, leading me to keep my distance from the people in question. But out and out fights/arguments/strife? Nope.)

    T says it’s because I’m a coward who hates conflict and does anything possible to avoid it. (Harsh, but true.)

    I think it would be more accurate to say it’s because of the nature of my relationships, however.

    It’s true that I tend to be a people pleaser. It’s also true that while I do have friends I can get deep and existential with, by and large our friendships are generally pretty easy going and fun. We may occasionally debate issues, but not in a personal or bitter way. Also, I’d like to think my friends are GOOD TYPES, as a rule, which makes getting along far easier than not. Although surely that’s true for most people?

    It’s hard to keep making an effort when you think another party isn’t pulling their weight. But sometimes, when we’re hurting, we withdraw. We push people away when we most need them. It’s counterintuitive, I know. I’m not sure why we do this (I’ve done it myself, and I suppose it’s a petty test, really. Push them away and see if they will push back; do they care enough to keep trying?) – only I fear in this case it’s gone much too far.

    Friendship seemed a lot easier back in high school. As life gets more complicated, so too do relationships. How do you handle it when dear friends are making terrible decisions? How about when they KNOW they’re making stupid choices, but continue to do so nonetheless? Do you offer support without judgement? Do you offer unsolicited advice? Is there a point at which you throw your hands up and step back from it all? What is helping, vs what is judging, vs what is enabling? My understanding of human psychology only goes so far.




  • January 17, 2013

    Internships: the good, bad and ugly

    Are unpaid internships worth it?

    Bad things that happened upon returning to work in the new year: everything tech-related that could go wrong went wrong. BUT OF COURSE. It’s only a matter of time before my computer refuses to turn on at all – my laptop is on its last legs.  The fact that this is the third time I’ve started writing this post, and am crossing my fingers that it doesn’t get eaten.

    Good things that happened upon returning to work in the new year: Overall, it was pretty darn painless and practically pleasant. Love my coworkers, love the work.

    Neutral things that happened upon returning to work in the new year: Having an intern on the first day back.

    Yup, it’s time for a post about internships.

    My thoughts on internships from the student side

    I can’t speak to internships in other industries – the 400 hours of work experience engineering students do, the formal graduate internship schemes accounting/banking/consulting firms do, or the crazy American style of unpaid internships that last for months. I can only speak for the more casual 1-2 week (usually unpaid) internship that’s basically a prerequisite to getting anywhere in the creative industries, New Zealand style, and why it’s invaluable.

    Practical experience. Look, the catch 22 for those trying to enter the workforce is the need for experience. Nobody wants to take a gamble on a newbie. The best way is to get real world experience under your belt before you graduate, through volunteering, internships, or any other way you can get it. My university was big on work experience and we did two industry placements in my final year. Those gave us good clips for our portfolio. Getting published makes you that much more legit in others’ eyes, and in today’s age, when the barriers to creative industries are basically non-existent, quality work will help you stand out.

    Cold, harsh reality. Internships give you a taste for what you can really expect – and you might not like it. One of ours didn’t come back after the first day. Doesn’t say much for their commitment … but if you’re going to hate the reality of an industry, it’s better to find out now than later. TV or radio seem glamorous? Wake up to the crazy hours you’ll have to work in order to prove yourself and you’ll soon change your mind.

    Making contacts. Who you know matters as much as what you know. Getting inside a workplace enables you to make contacts there that you’d never otherwise have such close access to. Make the most of it (I wish I’d done this myself), swallow those nerves and approach people.

    My thoughts on internships from the supervising side

    We’re all busy. That means a good intern is a godsend. A bad intern? A bad intern is very bad news.

    Help us help you. We will happily answer questions, welcome ideas and suggestions, and your thoughts on the kinds of things you’d like to work on and what you’d like to learn more of. We in the creative fields are always short-staffed, so in my experience, interns generally have the opportunity get to take on as much as they’re capable of.

    Help yourself. Internships should be win-win: learning and experience in exchange for some free labour. But you need to help yourself. It’s 2012; you can’t be afraid of technology. Even in a more traditional discipline, you’re going to need to use various software tools to get the job done. There’s no excuse for technological illiteracy. I don’t want to hear “I hate technology” from you. I definitely don’t want to have to explain how Dropbox works or help you figure out why the text on your browser has zoomed way out. This is the workplace, not daycare, and there’s not a lot of time for hand-holding.

    There better be an ROI. Nobody wants an intern who’s going to be more trouble than they’re worth. Particularly when an intern is only around for a very short time, it’s not worth investing effort into extensive training on certain proprietary things. Ironically, sometimes I end up giving interns the plum tasks and do the grunt admin stuff myself for this reason. Basically, if having an intern around is going to hurt my productivity, then we have a problem. I don’t expect that having an intern around will basically double what I can achieve overall at work, but let’s try for an output of, say, 1.5 of me. Fair enough?

     What have your experiences of internships been?

  • January 9, 2013

    Fitting travel into your life plan

    7 ways to fit travel into your life and budget

    They say that when it comes to getting work done, you can pick two of the following three – fast, cheap and good. Yes, any two – but you won’t get all three in one package.

    I feel it’s the same with travel.

    The typical New Zealand path is to head off to London after getting in a year of two of work experience. It’s a bit of a gamble at the moment – with the economy the way it is it’s a struggle to find good jobs.

    A friend who recently booked her one-way ticket (and has now been over there doing random temping work for a couple of months) told me she wasn’t going over in order to further her career, but for an adventure. Which is totally legit. My own case of wanderlust is intensifying by the week. But I’m having trouble facing the possibility of toiling in a café or a mindless cubicle when I’ve been able to do jobs I love ever since graduation.

    It’s a wonder anyone can afford to leave this country. Flights to the European or American continents are a couple of grand alone. And our dollar doesn’t exactly go very far in other currencies. That’s what you get when you live at the bottom of the world. Then again, maybe that’s precisely why we want to get out and stretch our feet.

    A while back, I read an article about a young professional who took extended leave to do a big trip around Europe. Work hard during the year, accumulate some cash, then take off to sightsee (and presumably, eat fabulous local food). And that is exactly what I want to do.

    I’m not in a ladder-climbing kind of field, but I am at this stage reluctant to risk my financial position (BORING! But true) to pack it all in and go live and work abroad. It’s not like I have wads and wads of cash lying about, but I finally feel like I’m on the way to getting my shiz together money-wise.

    Some friends are currently in the UK on the traditional OE: none of them have found it easy. Personally, I want to use my savings for a house rather than scraping by while I scrabble for a data entry job living in a hovel in grey London. (Seeing status updates like “It’s 3.30pm and black outside!”  strike pure terror into my heart.) I’m a planner and control freak by nature, and I don’t want to fly thousands of kilometres across the world if I don’t have a damn chance of being happy when I get there.

    There are plenty of lifestyle design types bootstrapping it around the world (be they life coaches or business coaches peddling courses and ebooks, writers, web designers, online marketers) in very cheap countries. But what if you actually want to spend time travelling, not just spending your time working in a different place? Or what if you want to come back to a job? To buy a house? What if you want to visit pricey places like western Europe?

    I wish I could say I have the answer, but I don’t.

    In an ideal world I would be able to work, say, nine months out of the year and spend the rest traveling. Or manage to get some kind of international transfer (but I’m not in a field that’s in demand overseas and it’s certainly not going to score me a lucrative job abroad. The thing about fun jobs is everybody wants to do them; the boring jobs pay well or they wouldn’t attract anyone).

    With those options out, how else could one do it?

    Work a 9-5 and travel in your allotted holiday time.

    Work insanely hard, save up, then take six months or a year off and do all your travelling in one hit.

    Set it up so that you can work from anywhere, thus earning money to support yourself while you travel.

    Digital nomadism is a thing now, didn’t you know? Lifestyle designers include coaches, writers, developers, designers, marketers and all other manner of freelancers/solopreneurs.

    Bootstrap it through WWOOF-ing, Couchsurfing, house-sitting and similar setups with free accommodation

    And/or in some cases, working for food/housing.

    Get on board with a volunteer programme – there are thousands and thousands out there.

    Note that some of them do charge money to set you up with a placement. Once you’re over there, most of your expenses should be covered. Similarly, look into industry programmes that might be available to you – for example, a local organisation here offers a number of unpaid media internships abroad that run for a few months at a time.

    Teach English – there are opportunities all over Asia and Europe.

    Some teach English overseas programmes will take pretty much anyone with a bachelor’s degree. Or you can get TEFL-certified on your own time and dime. (Personally, I’m not taken by any of the particular countries on offer, but it could definitely be an experience and get me closer to the places I do want to visit.)

    Check out grants and scholarships.

    In Delaying the Real World: A Twentysomething’s Guide to Seeking Adventure, author Colleen Kinder details examples of securing funding to go overseas to conduct your own research projects. No joke.

    Get a sweet job with a travel/tour company or something else in the industry.

    A friend of mine who did this has gotten to travel to some seriously amazing countries in the name of work.

     How have you managed to fit in your travel?

  • January 1, 2013

    Happy new year! 2013, I’ve got big plans for you

    So, 2013!

    Last year we had a somewhat extravagant break. After Christmas in Auckland, we drove straight down to the Coromandel, where some of T’s friends hired out a huge house and we camped out in a spare room. We had tickets to Coro Gold, one of the big NYE music festivals but the weather was literally a massive damper on things. It rained the entire time (my shoes still bear muddy traces from the concert). During the days, I read a lot, powering through all the books I had brought down with me, and even through a terrible Clive Cussler novel I found in one of the rooms at the house.

    There was no swimming done, T injured his arm in the mosh pit and even our stop at Hot Water Beach on the way back was a disappointment – it was a grey day and there were huge crowds, everyone digging in with their feet and wearing out the hot water before the tide came in.

    This year, we stayed close to home. NYE saw us drive out to Karekare, where I got my first taste of the waterfall and swimming holes tucked away in the bush (there’s a series of them; we climbed up to the top, which is the cleanest) and then a jaunt over to Piha for my first ocean swim of the summer. It was all the better for the fact that we had a visitor, and showing a newbie some of the best off the beaten track places around, watching their awe, is unbeatable.

    karekare waterfall west auckland

    karekare waterfall in west auckland bush

    karekare waterfall in west auckland bush

    karekare water hole swimming

    karekare water hole swimming west auckland

    Then it was over to a friend’s house for a dip in the pool and BBQ. Aside from the $30 we spent on food, it was about as free as NYE can get. Toward the end of the night, T and I had a bit of a snooze inside while everyone else played Circle of Death; we got up in time for the changeover, everyone took part in a rendition of Auld Lang Syne, and I was in bed by 1am. Start as you mean to go on – balancing fun and responsibility is going to be a big one for this year, I think. Nailing down concrete goals may be a struggle, but I have a clear idea of a few key things I want to pull off.

    How did you celebrate? Hope you saw in 2013 with loved ones! Here’s to a good one.

    PSA: To ring in the new year, I’ll be doing a bit of cleaning house around the blog this week. RSS subscribers will probably see a flood of old posts popping up in the feed as I make some tweaks, but don’t be alarmed. I’ll keep it all to one day for minimal disruption.

  • December 29, 2012

    My non-negotiables in life

    non negotiables in life(Image via vlad on Flickr)

    These holidays I’m republishing some old posts that newer readers might have missed first time around. Enjoy!

    You know what’s crazy? Twenty-something life. I don’t know how people with families do it. I have had this massive running to-do list since changing jobs, and unfortunately, am relying on T to help cross off a lot of those things. Let’s just say that is making progress verrrrrrrrry slow. It’s really frustrating me at the moment, and while I know I’m letting it get to me more than it should, I JUST WANT IT ALL OFF MY PLATE.

    An illustration of the box juggling pattern.

    Image via Wikipedia

    Sometimes it seems like everybody else has their life so much more together than I do. Full social calendars. Great flatmates. Great wardrobes. Great fitness levels. But look a little closer and it’s clear – as I already know – that you can’t give 100 percent to to your work, to your relationship, to your friendships, to your fitness, to your finances, to your hobbies and to your diet every single day. Those priorities have to shift from day to day and focusing too hard on one area for too long isn’t sustainable.

    I think I’m in the minority in that I act kind of older than I am, because I’ve been on my own since 17 and quite honestly, I just want a calm, quiet life. Especially when you’re female. I was recently talking to someone (male) who happily admitted to not having a lot of close friends, and didn’t sound especially sad about it – while I feel the same way, I feel like I should almost be ashamed that I’m not going out every night of the week.  Being around people generally drains me, and when things aren’t going well, I tend to retreat and would rather be left alone than talk to anybody.

    For me, three things are key to preserving my sanity:

    Sleep. Self-explanatory. I’m sure I could be much productive if I was the kind who could get by on 5 hours a night, but you can’t fight nature. Likewise, I’m never going to be a morning person, so I work to my strengths.

    Me time, aka downtime. Where I don’t have to be around people – and plenty of it. Where I can play guitar, read, blog, watch movies, clean the house.

    Food. One of the quickest things to go down the drain is often home cooking. But it makes me really unhappy if I can’t come home at a decent hour to make and eat a proper dinner. For me, making time to cook from scratch, bake delicious treats, and savour the eating process is non-negotiable. I’m also planning to do more cooking in bulk: that means fewer dishes during the week and gives us leeway on later zombie nights.

    How do you deal when life gets overwhelming?

  • December 13, 2012

    On age and how others perceive you

    I’ve always been touchy about my age, and how old others think I am.

    This stems back to a time when I was introduced to someone my parents knew, shortly after we moved to New Zealand, and just after we built our house (to my best recall).

    “How old is she? Seven?” he asked.

    I was in fact nine, and deeply insulted.

    At 16 I got my first ever job. I worked in a cafe, mostly clearing tables and washing dishes. My coworkers thought I was in my early 20s.

    Somewhere along the way, I’ve gone from looking young for my age to looking older. I think the glasses probably contribute. That, and my weirdly prematurely wrinkly forehead.

    It also apparently stems from the way I conduct myself. “You’re so not Gen Y!” I was told earlier this year (said in a tone that suggested being Gen Y was on par with being a Nazi or an animal abuser).

    Confidence is not one of my inherent qualities. I second-guess myself at every opportunity. I doubt my skills whenever faced with something new. I secretly think most of my work is terrible and that I’m a fraud. As I told my best friend the other week when we enlisted the help of a security guard to boot the people occupying our seats at Coldplay, if it had been me plonked down there and some other people had come along suggesting we were in the wrong row, I would be instantly convinced that I was the one who’d made a mistake (even if I wasn’t) and leap up to check.

    But apparently I manage to carry off the illusion of confidence at work, which suits me just fine. In a generation where people are staying at home and at university longer, I think I’ve got an edge, having been independent from 17 (somehow I’ve become the go-to person on all things adulthood in my circle… housing, work, cars, etc). And I suppose I’m lucky in that I’m not an assistant drone at the bottom of a corporate ladder. I have a lot of autonomy, relatively speaking, and being constantly wooed by PR types on a daily basis has probably inflated my sense of power.

    Is looking older than you really are a bonus in the workplace?

    I think this can actually be a advantage. People are more likely to take you seriously if you look 35 as opposed to 15. As we all know, appearance counts for way more than anyone likes to admit (and that includes everything from your wardrobe to the pitch of your voice).

    On the other hand, that can lead to higher expectations of you, and pressure to deliver what you might not be able to carry off. Pull it off though, and you’ll be a rockstar.

    I’ll probably be regretting this when I’m 40 and staring into the mirror wondering where I went. But in consolation, I did recently get carded at a bar (annoyingly, I didn’t have my ID on me at the time). I still have it … sometimes.

    Do you look your age? Do people normally guess your age correctly?

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