• Money and life updates: Life with a school aged kid edition!

    Enjoy this mish mash of updates!

    School life

    Uniform costs, out of this world! Hundreds of dollars to outfit Spud with shirts, shorts, jumpers, shoes.

    No school fees though at this one!

    School is part of the free lunch programme. Most kids are opted in from what I see. But also, at least in the youngest classes, most don’t seem to eat it. Spud doesn’t. Maybe the older kids are less picky.

    Partway through the first term, I booked him in for a couple of aftercare sessions to see how it would go. He thrived. So, I now don’t have to rush home on office days. It’s almost $100 a week for Mon-Thurs aftercare, which is less than daycare (which was $250 while aged under 2, then down to $150).

    Figuring out the world of holiday programmes has been a ride. Too tired to detail it all, though.

    Spud has now been at school for two full terms and is partway through number 3. He started in term 4 last year in the new entrants class, and moved right up into Year 1 when the 2024 school year began. It’s a big step up and was a shocker of a transition. There’s been a lot of anxiety (ongoing perfectionism, plus so much separation anxiety for weeks, until we got Covid, and then he seemed eager to go back :D), I’m more than ever convinced ADHD is in the mix (and I date this right back to his incessant moving in the womb; I could never count movements because was that one loooong move or like 15 little linked moves?) and tummy troubles.

    Think we’ve figured out the digestive stuff – if you’re interested, the culprit seems to have been Nutella sandwiches, a regular aftercare snack. (Contains both dairy and nuts, problematic for him.) On top of that, he had full body hives recently in response to a ‘sour cheese’ flavoured snack that I thought I’d let him try. Clearly a bad call.


    The last few months in the markets have been interesting! I’m at a point where swings do make a noticeable difference to my balance.

    I put a little play/experimental money into some individually picked US stocks and funds a couple years ago, and not long after came the 2022 crash. Some of those are finally starting to recover. Even the small amount I chucked at a bitcoin based fund is out of the red.

    At some point I need to consider my NZ dividend ETF holding – receiving dividends has been great for my nervous system, seeing those payments come in – but perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the strategy.

    Health and insurance

    I continue to sing the praises of insurance. Health insurance has absolutely been worth it for Spud, and now it’s my turn to make the most of it.

    This meant… getting super uncomfortable and advocating for myself. Admitting that I’ve gotten used to this struggle. Being either constantly blocked up, or constantly runny/drippy/sneezy, and all the associated things.

    My experiences were similar to Spud, but now I’m better at strategising and advocating. We both seem to be in rude health in the bigger picture but suffer greatly from chronic everyday things, and our symptoms are not always typical, and/or certainly not severe enough to be picked up in the public system.

    So … I got tested and am allergic to dust, dogs, and cats.

    I had a deviated septum and inflamed turbinates and sinuses.

    I spent months on a regime of sprays and rinses. It helped. It wasn’t a magic fix.

    Then I had surgery – septoplasty to straighten the septum, and reduction of the enlarged turbinates and a light touch on the sinuses.

    This, my friends, was the cure. Even straightaway, with the splints and packing and whatever needed healing from the operation – I could just sense the difference. A couple days before I got the splints and stuff removed, air started flowing a little more freely. And once they came out? Everything moved easily. Night and day.

    I can now wake up and I’m still breathing through my nose, mouth closed. Life changing.

    And when I wake up, I don’t start sneezing and have to deal with sneezing fits and a drippy nose for like an hour. (Why does this happen? I’m super sensitive to temperature changes and I’m certain it’s due to the shift in going from being under the warm covers to cooler/colder temps outside of them.) I’m not only going to save so much on tissues, but the quality of life is a million times better without that drama first thing in the morning. No more scrambling to always make sure I’m stocked up with tissues in my pockets or in my bag before I leave the house, and avoiding people’s side eye in a post-Covid world on the train.

    It’s cost me about $1000 out of pocket – $775 excess on the surgery, $88 on medications, and a couple hundred for some other test/procedure early on. Unquestionably worth it.

    Early days still, but life’s good so far on the other side.

  • It pays to … do your research and get the facts

    do the research, get the facts - then spend the money

    One memory I’ll always remember from back in school, shortly after moving to NZ.

    Way back when, we were given a maths problem, and we had to insert our own variables. In this case, the price of a hypothetical concert ticket.

    I was so naive. I literally had no idea what something like that cost. The teacher said to pick something realistic, not like $20. But I had no frame of reference myself – maybe movie tickets?! – and although I heard his comment, it just did not compute in my mind. I thought maybe I misheard the number he said.

    Anyway, I obviously chose an unrealistic price and felt so ashamed and silly. And it’s far from the first time I’ve experienced sticker shock in life. But that can go in any direction, positive or negative.

    All that to say: stop waffling, going in circles, and just find out! That thing you’re contemplating? Get some quotes. Check your assumptions. Don’t mull, guess, panic, project, catastrophise.

    My mum asked for ideas on how much it would cost to cut down the massive trees on their property (how TF would I know?) Turned out it was way less than she imagined.

    Maintenance jobs I keep putting off like getting a chimney clean, gutters cleared, even renting a chipper, are often less than I anticipate.

    And some are more – renting a big skip bin, a full car service, etc. Sigh.

    But the only way to know for sure is to get out of your head and find out.

    Get real numbers.

    Price it out

    You’ll often be surprised but either way, information is power.

  • How to self soothe when you’re dealing with anxiety (financial or otherwise)

    how to manage financial anxiety


    I’ve previously written about how I had started thinking about mindset work as my full time job.

    Let me amend that.

    When it comes to money and life, I’ve realised, regulating your nervous system (that’s brain AND body) is what supports you in making sustainable progress and simply easing the regular ups and downs.

    It’s the foundation for feeling relaxed, safer, optimistic, confident day to day.

    Thoughts create feelings; they can and do absolutely influence them. One thought can change it all. One different perspective can open up a whole new dimension. One new lens can instantly shift how you feel.

    As you become more skilled at managing your thoughts and shoring up your mindset, though, you start running into limits. Because working from the neck up inherently limits you. You can only go so far without venturing lower.

    Our massive brains are what set us apart, but we’re still mammals.

    The vagus nerve is a communications and sensory superhighway, connecting the brain and various organs. Like the main control room for our fight/flight response. It sends signals from brain to body, but mostly, vice versa – body to brain.

    It’s not all in your head

    “It’s all in your head” we say, but in fact, it goes so much further than that, deeper than the subconscious even, beyond to cellular level. Your body, physical reactions, the state of your nervous system.

    Imagine you overspent, blew your budget, miscalculated and went totally overboard with brunches and drinks and dinners and takeaways last month. Yikes.

    Maybe your jaw clenches. Shoulders go up. You feel tense and hot, but also a bit disembodied, disconnected, frozen. This immediate, instinctual reaction is automatic. The dysregulation going on there shows up in your body instinctively.

    Anytime you do anything with or even think about money, emotions can trigger you into fight or flight mode. It’s a subconscious response to money anxiety. Obviously you can’t function well or think clearly or act brilliantly in that stressed out mode.

    It all gets easier when…

    You can start being more conscious and compassionate with yourself. Cultivating safety and comfort at every level and every step. That opens up space to go even bigger and beyond. That’s the real key to getting, well, whatever it is you want, ultimately.

    This is the work: being okay where you are right now, so you can then clear the way to take things to the next level from here.

    You can feel scarcity and fear at any level, any point. You can feel guilt and shame at any point. Soothing yourself at every step helps you start expanding past those familiar internal set points you’re so used to.

    9 ways to return to neutral

    Stressed about money or something else in life? Get back to baseline in the moment by doing something for both your brain and body.


    • Think about how much you can buy with the money you already have, right now. Or, think about 3 things you can appreciate right now
    • List all the ways you could take action to generate cash today. Or, think about 3 things you can do now that would feel 10% better than what you’re currently doing


    • Turn your head sideways, 90 degrees to your body, and hold for 30-60 secs. You’ll start to feel your whole body relax subtly, like a reset
    • Stand, focus on your breathing, in and out, and shift your weight from side to side, foot to foot, aligned with your breathing
    • Grab something in your hands (stress balls are great, or anything similar) and move it from hand to hand, side side, across the centre line of your body – think like a pendulum
    • Make your entire body stiff like an uncooked pasta noodle and hold for a minute, then consciously relax
    • Vocalise out loud! Brrrrrrr is a classic, but any sound you feel coming through you is great – do this till you feel some release
    • Shake, move, dance, stomp, rock your body – get very physical and move that energy through
    • Do a round or two of EFT tapping (there’s lots of videos on YouTube)

    Self-soothing when it comes to money

    How often do you handle, interact with, touch money in some way? A lot, right? Add to that, how often are you thinking about money?

    Imagine if all those touchpoints were a little more positive. What a difference that might make.

    How can you bring a little more positivity and safety into them?

    The more goodness you can inject, the bigger the ripple effect… infusing and informing the overall holistic relationship.

    Create stress free spaces for managing money. Low stress money dates where you go over your finances, celebrate progress and momentum, make plans for the future. Pair with delicious snacks and treats.

    Create parameters for safety that you can set and honour. You may chafe at structure and rules generally in life. I know I do. But they can actually be an ally here. Guardrails to guide your experiments or baby steps into the unknown, and ringfence risks or losses. Playing with a business idea? Give yourself permission to try, with a set allowance for experimenting. Making bigger investing moves? You can decide on limits, set stop orders for buying or selling. Have kill criteria for any money moves – a point at which you call time and quit like a pro.

    This goes for more than money

    This doesn’t just apply to financial anxiety. It goes for everything else in life, too. Anything that feels hard, tough, sticky. That isn’t flowing the way you’d like. Where you don’t feel great.

    You can start shifting it from the inside out.

    Pause and get clarity. How do you want to feel instead? Identify your desired feeling, and think back to other instances when you felt this way. Recall exactly how it felt, and the circumstances that led to it.

    With this in mind… How can you get more of that? Kindle that flame? Expand that kernel? What step could you take right now to get closer to that feeling?

    It’s like… preplanning success. Celebrating it now, despite our lifelong indoctrination to ‘not count the chickens till they hatch’. In a practical sense, that is fantastic advice.

    But internally, creating a sense of success in your body – a memory ahead of time – goes a long way toward prepping your nervous system for receiving and accepting it. Like athletes visualise doing the thing, triumphing, ahead of time … you can do the same with anything in your own life, no matter how mundane.

    Because when success feels unfamiliar, parts of you aren’t really open to it, and are even repelling it. Shout, move, dance, pump your fists, whatever you would actually do when the time comes. Practise it. Embody it. Encode it.

    This is how liberation starts

    From within. Cultivating true and lasting financial power is an inside job.

    Then, it’s always with you. Accompanying you wherever you go; it becomes part of you.

  • Weeding out money demons and financial weak spots at the root


    Deconstructing your individual money story, your unique flavour of hangups and hurdles along with triumphs, is something you’re probably going to eventually come up against (if you haven’t already) and is the key to sustaining next-level success.

    Buuuuuut when we really get down to it… what does that mean?

    Let’s make it real, let’s get raw with some tangible examples as I walk you through some of my shit.

    My mistrust of cash

    I love money but actual physical cash? Not so much. I can probably trace this back to what I think might be my earliest money-related memory, in which I was dispatched to the dairy to buy milk but lost the coins along the way (and was never trusted with that errand again).

    My struggle with boundaries

    My tendency to entertain any request, put up with unreasonable demands, give and give and give some more. This shows up financially and in other areas – though I’ve come a long way. Stems from parents who had poor boundaries and unreasonable expectations.

    My problems with spending on myself

    I don’t really have issues with buying experiences (food and travel) but when it comes to buying physical stuff? That’s a whole ‘nother thing.

    We rarely got gifts. I can probably count on one hand how many birthday gifts I remember getting; I think it was partly at the whims of parental moods. Sometimes from extended family too, but rarely. Ditto Christmas; I remember trying to dodge the question “What did you get this year” every year. And there was definitely a weird story around presents being for needs, not wants.

    As an adult, I’m relearning how to embrace the concept of pleasure. This probably also ties in with my difficulty receiving – I’m just not used to it, I feel really uncomfortable being given anything, as being the recipient of generosity is so … foreign.

    Little wonder it’s hard to receive anything. Even now, I receive cash every year for my birthday, and it’s not something I fully feel comfortable about.

    And that definitely links up with the drive to earn (that’s a whole thing of its own!), through hard work and hustle, and prove myself. It’s all connected.

    My problems with having and trusting

    Also – even just having stuff is difficult for me. It could be taken away (like my treasured Westlife CD, uplifted, given to someone who was visiting us, and never replaced despite the promise to do so).

    How does this manifest? Honestly, I often don’t take great care of my stuff. I was also burgled many times in my 20s, further cementing this wound. Feeling I can’t relax and have nice things. Feeling I can’t trust/rely on others financially; pocket money was inconsistent and the whole endeavour probably lasted less than a year.

    Yeah, there’s a recurring pattern here. Things suggested or started and then never heard of or mentioned again.

    My problems with underearning

    I’ve been anchored, pegged to my knowledge of the hourly rate my parents earned way back last century. Internalised that benchmark and operated with that knowledge in the background. Feeling like it’s good enough and I should be grateful to be beating that (despite, you know, inflation and other things…)

    As I mentioned before, it’s been deeply ingrained in me that I need to work hard for money. I need to achieve, to prove my worth. And subconsciously, probably to make up/atone for the brief phase in my teens when I shoplifted makeup. Not my finest hour.

    Soooo…. what are we supposed to do with all this?

    Acknowledge these root experiences and memories. Accept them, difficult as they might be and uncomfortable to admit to.

    Recognise you learned from what was imprinted on you and deeply encoded in your subconscious. It’s empowering to realise you’re not broken, there’s nothing wrong with you.

    And that now you can start to choose differently, day by day, step by steap.

    Start to build new conscious patterns for yourself. Actively. Deliberately.

    Question your instinct and consider whether the alternative might serve you better. Practice trying on new choices and see how they feel.

    Challenge and recalibrate your ideas around your earning potential – financial tools like this W4 calculator can help – and what a financially empowered life might look like. Commit to a journey of broader self-discovery, free from old limitations. Open the door a crack to the possibility of more ease, wealth, flexibility. 

    I think about all the times I HAVE managed money well, upheld boundaries and honoured myself, spent well on myself, relied on others, enjoyed what I have, and grown my income.

    Find evidence to support your success and keep building on it.

    That’s how we start to exorcise these demons.  That’s the work I’ve done over the years to beat them.

    That’s how you stop sabotaging yourself and start finding your money groove.

  • 3 steps to feel-good money

    3 steps to feel good money


    The better you feel, the better you do.

    You know I’m all about figuring out how to feel better about money, so you can do better with it. It’s a beautiful cycle. A worthy model. A virtuous flywheel.

    So, here’s a simple framework for feel-good money. Enjoy!

    Stack up the evidence

    Write your badass bio, financially speaking. List all your past money wins, previous achievements, and create a narrative around this. One that speaks to your track record of success.

    This might feel weird and imposter-y and uncomfortable.

    But this empowering story is just for you. To help you get used to focusing on your triumphs rather than flops. Stack the deck in your favour, and take this step toward being kinder to yourself and easing up on past you.

    Track your wins

    A plug for these quick money wins. Get a few under your belt, boost your energy, and get some momentum going!

    Then, keep the vibe going. Tune in and pay attention to all your wins, big and small, from here on in.

    What counts? Anything goes, honestly.

    Getting a great deal in a sale…

    An unexpected refund…

    A referral for a cool, lucrative project… etc

    Again, you’re learning to tune in to the goodness, because we’re wired to dwell on negativity. It’s not so natural to look for the good stuff.

    Celebrate the hell outta it

    Ride those highs as long as they last.

    I beat myself up for things, even years later. Do I celebrate their positive equivalents, years later? Probably not (see previous point).

    So, we gotta milk the wins as they come and savour every minute.

    Celebration means feeling it all, revelling in it, soaking it up. No dismissing or downplaying. No modesty here, thanks. Stretch yourself into feeling egoic.

    Squealing. Dancing. Moving and vocalising are all great!

    Whatever moves you. Whatever the mood brings you to. Embody the good vibes and encode these beautiful feelings and memories in your body at a cellular level.

    If you liked this, you’ll probably love Money Groove, my self-paced digital course all about finding your own financial groove. It’s your roadmap to ditching your $$$ baggage, making peace with money, and fast-tracking the path to MORE of it.

  • The joy and agony of using your emergency fund

    mixed feelings about using emergency fund


    It was our second to last night on holiday. Slumbering in a cute Airbnb in Napier. Literally the last thing I expected was a call from the local cops at 4am notifying me the car had been stolen (from right outside!) for a joyride, recovered, and the perp in custody.

    Instead of carrying on to our last stop, Rotorua, after breakfast – the morning was a flurry of phone calls and Googling. Dealing with insurance. Frantically trying to find a rental car. Figuring out what we’d need to replace immediately and where to buy it. Trying to get to the tow yard, which turned out to be closed all weekend.

    You may also know the exquisite pain of tapping your emergency fund.

    But it’s an amazing feeling not to have to worry about money in a situation like that. We just needed to find a way to get home, preferably while continuing with our original plan and one more night before heading home. It didn’t really matter how much it cost.

    Annoyingly, insurance would only reimburse the equivalent of bus fare directly back to Auckland, which was a couple hundred dollars. We considered flying, but in the end found what must have been the last available vehicle in the city for about $900 for a one-way overnight rental. We’d drive on to Rotorua as planned, spend the night in town, then back to Auckland to return it at the airport. (It was a neat vehicle. Brand new, lots of little self-driving functions.)

    There is, it turns out, an extra you can add on to your car insurance policy for car rental in this situation. It is not free! Nor is it all that great. It simply entitles you to preferential hire rates (whatever those might be).

    We did also replace Spud’s carseat right away (which again, has risen significantly in price since I bought the original 2 years ago). Honestly, this is what bugs me the most. What a waste of a perfectly good carseat! I hope someone picked it up off the side of the road or whatever, because seriously, that was a $500+ (now $700+) carseat with a LOT of life left in it.

    Some other annoying, random things were also lost from the backseat. Cereal, books, hat, jacket, drink bottle, etc. (A few bits, not worth claiming through contents cover.) But they left everything in the boot. The wagon, the ball, the beach toys, scooter, etc – untouched. The damage was minimal. They clearly just wanted to go hoon around.

    Eventually, it got towed back to Auckland for repairs. The mechanic also got hit by thieves over the summer break and had no courtesy cars available. And then we had the devastating cyclones that upended things around the country. It took two months to finally get my car back! But it was better than ever. It felt like they did a full mechanical once over – the brakes are smoother, and even though I specified that the crack on the back of the side mirror was already there, they still fixed that up and bundled it all up in the claim.

    I was out hundreds on the car rental, and then paying for convenience for nearly two months to have grocery delivery (only available from the more expensive supermarkets). And it was fine. Inconvenient. But fine.

    The last few months have been spendy…

    More generally, it’s been an expensive few months. Yes, there’s the cost of food and basic necessities. But also, a lot of choice. That road trip, a much needed holiday. A long overdue trip to the dentist (I hadn’t been since, uh, pre-pregnancy…) and my first fillings ever. New glasses, well overdue. And a lot of overdue things around the house, like fixes to the side gate, getting the roof painted (which had been on to the todo list since moving in 8 years ago) and getting the rotten eaves replaced.

    It’s been an invitation and challenge…

    to practise, deepen, and embody everything I’ve been thinking and talking about in relation to money.

    To channel deep gratitude for being in place of safety and plenty, to not have to worry about any of this. As I said to the victim support rep – it has been a hassle, there have been many inconveniences, and the expenses are annoying, but not devastating. (I was actually kinda excited to go through the restorative justice process, which I wrote a big feature about when it was a new thing and I was in journalism school. But between the perp’s circumstances, the distance, and then the massive cyclones that disrupted everything, it seemed the cons outweighed the pros in this case.)

    To remember that money comes and goes, is designed to flow, to support us, and trust that it is always continuing to flow in, too.

    I don’t advocate for burying your head in the sand. It’s not about denying reality.

    It’s about acknowledging the circumstances, and choosing to face them with grit and grace. Deciding, over and over, to spurn the fear, scarcity, and anxiety. Releasing the need to control and letting go of that power dynamic of struggle. Surrendering to what is, and choosing calm and trust through it all – even as insurance approvals and supply chain delays drag out.

    Making moves from a place of fear never works out well. Making moves from a place of confidence, empowerment, and expansion is the real flex.

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  • I signed up for a monthly subscription, then got ghosted

    I signed up for a monthly subscription, then got ghosted


    What would you expect if you signed up for something and … stopped getting what you were paying for every month?

    A question I’ve been facing and grappling with…

    I gave lots of grace. I got so much value from the signup bonus, it was a steal, even when after a few months, things went quiet.

    I truly believed something had happened to the creator. Her website was down, she hadn’t been active online publicly or in the private space where I first encountered her. I contacted her multiple times through different channels. I even thought maybe Gmail had randomly blacklisted her emails…

    I expected her to respond at SOME point. Because now she’s active online again, and clearly around. But nope. Nothing. I’ve released all remnants of that expectation. I may never know what happened. Such is life.

    I try to find the lesson in everything, and I think my takeaways here are:

    Money lesson 1: These days, cancelling and reissuing a credit card won’t solve recurring subscriptions. Stripe is smart! It’ll just resume on your new card number, as the underlying account is the same.

    Money lesson 2: Those invoice emails that are Stripe generated… actually DO let you manage your paid membership subscription, not just manage your email preferences. DUH.

    Yeah, I felt pretty silly after all my rambly messages to my bank that ultimately were for nothing, and then finally one day noticing that tiny link in my Stripe invoice emails. Stupid tax!

    And maybe a final general life lesson: Be accommodating, charitable, generous, but equally, don’t be a doormat, ostrich, or fool. Your money is your money and nobody cares about it as much as you do.

  • Wishful thinking

    I’d like to have so much money that I could have …

    a chauffeur

    a chef

    holidays every quarter that somebody else plans and books for me

    a dog walker 2x a week

    go WILD at the fancy cheese shop

    spontaneous weekend trips without looking at the bank balance

    Clearly, I’m exhausted because that’s about all my imagination can stretch to right now!

    Seriously though. Goals should be ambitious yet achievable, IMO. At least 51% believable.

    For now, I’m pretty happy to be in a position to:

    go out to eat on a public holiday without even thinking twice about the 10% surcharge

    give three-digit donations (not just double digit)

    buy the thing I want upfront, not the cheaper alternative (always leads to regret!)

    What are you daydreaming about? Any goals for 2023?

  • I don’t care what you do with your money. But you should

    how to find your own money groove


    I don’t care what you do with your money.

    Doesn’t really bother me.

    There are very few – if any – hard and fast rules.

    Despite what the Twitter bros and their pithy viral tweets might preach…You are your own best steward.

    No one else cares more about your money than you.

    I’d rather you learn to trust yourself.

    Find your own groove.

    Do what’s right for you.

    Because one of the most important skills we can develop (and will forever be practicing and evolving) is discernment.

    Learning to discern what will work for you, not blindly copying others.

    Listening to mentors and taking on board their input – but not necessarily following everything to the letter.

    Honouring your instincts, which so many of us have learned to suppress. (This doesn’t mean giving in to fear and self sabotage but again – discerning the difference between fear of expansion / risk,,, and the nudges that are guiding you away from something that isn’t for you).

    Self trust is a huge ingredient for success, and the more you practice it, the sharper your instincts get.

    (PS: this week only, you can grab Money Groove PLUS a bunch of other financial resources as part of this bundle)

  • Financial fear – the struggle is real, but there’s a solution

    how to conquer financial fears forever


    I once heard Brooke Castillo state on a podcast episode that one reason for her success is her willingness to face unpleasant emotions. To feel any feeling.

    My immediate reaction was something like What? What a load of BS. Seriously?!

    But I couldn’t stop thinking about that statement. And over the next few days I just started to observe myself more. How I dealt with things. How I coped. How I reacted.

    And, well, I discovered that I did not in fact want to feel anything uncomfortable. I actively avoided it. I ran from them, instead of running at them and facing them head on. I wanted to do anything but front up.

    Embracing discomfort is not something that comes naturally to the human mind. One place this shows up a lot for me is fear.

    Financial fear is a big one. Living in a state of constant tension and low-level panic SUCKS and takes a toll. Fear of losing an income source, of some financial disaster striking, of the unknown in general… Feeling afraid about money on the regular is no fun.

    That’s why dissecting and combating fears is part of the last module (Fuel the Future) in my course, Money Groove.

    Some people don’t like to imagine the worst-case scenario, but I’m the kind who needs to confront my worst fears rather than hide from them. Naming and voicing them has a magical shrinking power. Out in the cleansing light of day, they lose their shadowy strength.

    This is true for most fears, I’ve found. When we do, then we can start to ask questions like “Has it happened before? What are the odds of it happening? What would I do then?”

    In lots of cases, the catastrophes we’ve conjured up in our lizard brains are over-exaggerated. They’ve never occurred. Nor are they likely to. Sure, anything CAN happen. But that doesn’t mean they will.

    And yes, it’s good to prepare. To have contingency plans.

    And then, we need to release. To let go. To relax.

    Our hypotheses are often way off. We can’t predict things. We’re wired to focus on the negatives. To anticipate risks. To stay wary, watchful, on guard. Which doesn’t necessarily serve us well in today’s world when danger is less mortal and more perceived; less about tigers and tsunamis out there and more about the spinning out inside our heads.

    We have to recognise we’ve done all we can, and trust. Otherwise, all the fun quickly drains out of life.