What would you pay to change about yourself?

What would you pay to change about yourself?
By: Isengardt

You know what? Over a lifetime, laser surgery would probably be cheaper than the constant cycle of eye tests and new glasses/lenses/contacts. My squeamishness, however, prevents me from seriously considering it or finding out if it’s even an option for me. Plus, it’s a big outlay, even if it is a one-off. 

This got me thinking … what else would I pay to change about myself?

For one, I’d like to deal to my weirdly sweaty palms and nose. It’s like they both have a mind of their own.

For another, I’d be happy to never have another period again. For a blissful period (no pun intended) of maybe a year (which handily enough included most of our RTW trip) after changing my pill, I got to live out that wish. Alas, that grace period is over – though it must be said that life is still infinitely better than in the pre-pill days.

But most of all, I would pay good money to rid myself of my chronic hayfever and  assorted sinus woes. How much? A thousand, definitely. Two, quite probably. Three? Five? Maybe. What would it be worth to… be able to breathe through my nose overnight. Never feel that tightness in my chest again. To not be that workmate who sniffles day in day out, year round. To be able to leave the house without having stuffed my pockets and handbag with tissues. To not wake up sneezing every single morning – literally. To never again experience the horror of watching liquid mucus drip from my nose onto the floor, so quickly there’s barely a split second to compute what’s about to happen between feeling the first movement and seeing the splotch (this happens way more than it should).

Things could be a lot worse, I know. Some of you carry much heavier crosses and real medical problems. I’m grateful to have pretty minor maladies … even if I would pay good money to rid myself of them.

28 thoughts on “What would you pay to change about yourself?

  1. Know what’s funny? My first two thoughts were: I would/should fix my teeth that moved out of alignment because I feel tremendously guilty for not taking care of it earlier after an unfortunate run in w/the dentist and if I could surgically remove my hatred of public speaking I totally would.
    Somehow I totally forgot that I live in constant pain and oh, wouldn’t it be nice to fix THAT? Pff.
    I have all the empathy for the allergy thing though. I watch people around me with them and would be SO incredibly annoyed if I had to deal with them.

  2. I should probably also get my teeth aligned! And if I ever move back to New England, then I’d also probably want to pay to get rid of my allergies.

    If I’m right, doctors can prescribe a sort of super-strong deodorant for your palms if they deem that your palms are sweaty enough. Not sure how much it costs, though.

  3. I am so with you on being freaked out by laser eye surgery. Although it would be nice not to wear contacts and glasses anymore, I will never pay anyone to put a laser in my eye. No thanks.

    If I were to change something, it would be nice if I was better at small talk. I’m usually ok with conversations once I get to know people, but small talk has never felt natural or easy for me. But at least I’ve gotten a lot less shy than my middle school and high school days.

    1. small talk / comfort around new people was the first thing i thought of when I saw the title, then I realized you had meant things about your body (mostly). I’d pay… probably $10k for the gift of gab / charisma at first meeting. Looking at that statement, I probably should invest time / money into improving on this. Because it can be done.

      I’d do LASIK if it was for life, but I’m afraid my eyes will continue to change. That’s the main reason I don’t. I think the current price is fair.

      Physically, I have smaller nits – maybe my hair could improve in body and color and basically be naturally beautiful with no work. Another $10k to not have to worry about my hair, ever? Maybe. Especially if it came with perfectly waxed/plucked eyebrows. Can you tell I HATE beauty maintenance tasks, but like to look maintained?

      Allergies, yes, but my medicine does a really good job of keeping them under control, so less of a priority. And maybe $1000 to never have to shave again. And $4000 or something for hormone-less 100% effective non-noticable birth control.

      If these weren’t pipe dreams, I wonder what amounts I really WOULD pay?

      1. I am sure you could train yourself to be much more proficient at the social stuff, and for less than $10k! I am aware this is something I *should* do but have zero desire to.

        Didn’t even think about the whole eyes continuing to change thing, but yeah, mine are slowly deteriorating over time.

        I’m lucky to be quite hairless naturally though my pits seem to be getting hairier by the month of late, weirdly. I hate beauty maintenance too! Hence why I stick to shorter hair now. I’ve also given up on my brows – I don’t even notice them anymore, and they’re so faint/light I tell myself nobody really notices if they’re a bit thick at the (wrong) ends.

  4. I’m with you on getting rid of that damn period. I was lucky(?) enough to not have it while pregnant and for about 16 months afterwards thanks to a combination of breastfeeding and birth control, but when both of those stopped, maaaaan. I forgot how miserable I get.
    And, as vain as it may sound, I’d love for my boobs to be bigger. After weaning, my boobs basically shrunk and I miss having a little bit of cleavage.
    You’re right though, there are many people out there with greater issues that money can’t even fix, so I’m grateful for what I do have.

  5. Oh so many interesting comments are going to come out of this I think. I’d love to have “perfect loose perm hair” naturally. Problem is, my hair is way to thick and it would turn into crazy hair rather than nice waves I imagine. I’d also be on board for the no period thing. What an annoying part of anatomy, and the hormonal changes that go with it!

  6. To fix my eyes so I have 20/20 vision permanently without surgery for the rest of my life.

    (Yeah I know right?.. Lasik exists and I am too scared to get it done, seeing as numerous folks I know have gotten it done and had to redo it or permanently scarred their eyes.)

    I’d pay a good $20,000 for that.

    Otherwise, maybe fix my bum knee (it grew in crooked…. I am suspicious as my mother says she didn’t know how to really swaddle a baby back then and perhaps wrapped me a little too tight.. :| ) Another $20,000.

    And get rid of my eczema.. another $20,000.

    Of course these are all pipe dreams.

  7. Sweaty palms…it’s not a one-shot deal, but Botox injections fix that.

    I’d hand over my life savings to get rid of this depression thing that’s been plaguing me on and off for at least 14 years.

  8. I’ve often considered laser eye surgery. Not necessarily for the financial benefits (as I have vision coverage through work), but for the constant hassle of glasses and contacts, especially while traveling!

    Another thing I would possibly pay to change about myself is my skin. I’ve had acne since I was 12 and I am constantly dealing with acne scars and blemishes. It’s something I’ve learned to deal with, but I am still self-conscious.

    1. I also used to have TERRIBLE acne and my skin was an oil pit in my teens. Birth control + age seems to have helped and now I have reasonably normal skin, and all my scars have faded (they made me so self-conscious, I know just what it’s like). Thank god.

  9. I have a scar on the middle of my forehead (fell down as a little kid-something my mom feels horrible she didn’t “prevent” to this day) that when I was in middle/high school really bothered me. I wore bangs for a long time because I wanted to “hide it”, funny thing is nobody really notices or cares except for me. When I was in high school I would have gladly paid $5000 (that was a lot of money to a 15 year old) to have it go away. Now it doesn’t really bother me anymore.

    These days I’d gladly pay $10,000 to not worry so much. I know that’s a mental/emotional thing more than a physical one, but I definitely stress way too much about things that are outside of my control. Oh and I’d take smaller boobs (ones that don’t hurt my back and don’t bounce when I jog).

  10. Physically, I’d change my crazy sweatiness (yuck!), get my bottom teeth aligned, and get my lazy eye fixed (you can’t tell it’s lazy by looking at me, but my vision is terrible!). For good measure, we could fix my under eye circles (hereditary!).

    If I could change how my brain works a bit, I would get rid of my terrible anxiety of being in cars and public speaking.

    Honestly, I probably wouldn’t pay to change anything, but it’s fun to think about :)!

  11. Oh man, that’s a loaded question. I’d love to never have to worry about shaving or tweezing- I’m waiting for them to perfect this whole laser technique before I try that. I also with my shoulders were further down and back. I was a gymnast growing up, so my shoulder have that gymnast stockiness, particularly when I walk. I’ve been trying to slowly change it through strengthening my back and stretching out my shoulders but it’s slow going.

  12. I’m tempted to try laser hair removal for my underarms and bikini area. I’ve got too many important things to save for now, though, so that will likely never happen.

    I had Lasik several years ago, but I wasn’t able to achieve 20/20 vision in my one eye. I had good enough vision that I didn’t need corrective lenses to get my driver’s license anymore, but now I’m back to wearing glasses mostly for reading. I did the Lasik because after several years of wearing contacts I wasn’t able to do so any longer. The contact lens specialist I saw (yes, they exist!) said I may never be able to wear lenses for longer than 6 hours, so I decided to go for the surgery. It’s been useful.

    It’s possible sometimes to get allergy desensitization. First you have to find out exactly what you’re allergic to. If it’s mold, though, based on where you live and what you’ve written about the state of housing, you’re likely stuck. :-(

  13. There are way too many things that I would want to change if I could. It probably makes me seem so vain. First of, I would love to have naturally curly eyelashes. My partner has them and always complains about them getting tangled (I don’t really know how…but he says they do). I have long, but straight lashes and often curl them to make my eyes appear bigger.

    Other things include being a couple of inches taller (I’m 5″2) and not have such sensitive skin.

  14. Ahh, a topic I try not to think about too much! Let’s see…not being blind as a bat would be excellent. But I’m not a “good candidate.” Jerks. I also have no ass…and having one would be incredibly useful, especially on those days that involve a lot of sitting.

  15. Some people say heir name, other say their habits, and I say my love for sweets. I can’t afford to pay for cavities, and also it is just unhealthy.
    I know I can stop, but in a sense it is like an addiction.

  16. Hmmm, I would pay a huge amount of money if they could change my brain to only want good food in portions that are good for me and to actually like exercise. Now there’s a pipe dream!

    About the allergies…both my husband and son had allergies like yours and took the shot therapy. Yes, it’s kind of a pain going every week for two years and then less frequently for the next 3 years. However, both my son and husband experienced dramatic improvement. My husband can get through a sentence without sneezing, doesn’t get worried if he forgets a handkerchief, and overall feels much better. My son doesn’t have the week-long allergy attacks where he just feels terrible. A bonus is that my son’s asthma is almost gone. In terms of cost, we didn’t have to pay our insurance co-pay for the shots, only for doctor’s visits a couple of times a year. Well worth it in our opinion!

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