I won’t rehash it all for oldtimers, but suffice it to say my fiance’s family are broke as broke gets.
I have a problem saying no, so it’s good that requests get filtered through him. While we he also has a problem saying no, since this recent fiasco, he’s put his foot down, and rightly so.
That got tested last month. There was a big family occasion, but not enough money to put into it. As the go-to people, we (or really just me) were asked if we could front $300.
Sorry, but my answer was a HELL to the NO. It had to be.
We were already putting more than I would have liked towards a keg (that was our contribution), and I sure was not going to lend out money that might or might not be repaid.
In the end, I ended up personally chipping in about $60 toward food and the like. I wasn’t overjoyed about doing so, but I’m not a complete miser, and it was much less than $300.
In theory, our financial situation should improve in the coming years.
T and I are young, we’re just getting started in the world, and we’re on the up.
His family members, on the other hand, are, going nowhere fast. The easiest way to deal with this is obviously to disclose as little as possible, but the fact that we can take any holidays at all, or will be funding a (very frugal) wedding, says enough.
I can only assume this is going to lead to setting new boundaries as the goalposts shift. I can’t help but wonder if it’s going to get harder, not easier, as we really start building our lives together, saving for a house, and all that jazz.
For those of you whose other half has a financial disaster of a family, how did that affect your wedding planning and post-marriage?