I may never win an Oscar or Grammy, but…


I sure would win a prize for purveyor of unattractive baked goods

I find baking cathartic and the end result both surprising and delicious. But pretty? Food presentation is not my forte. And given how fast it disappears in our household of two … meh. Hence why recipe posts here are sporadic.

I sure would win a prize for planning

Okay. Sometimes I view life like a chess game. In probability trees. Almost infinite paths of ‘what if’. Forewarned is forearmed, I say.

I sure would win a prize for failing at remembering what I spend

Hence why I spend a few minutes every couple of days, when I log on to internet banking, to check and categorise our latest transactions. Even that sometimes is a struggle. And that’s why I don’t use cash.

I sure would win a prize for parking fails

I have parallel parked once in my life. During my test. (I am still the only person I’ve heard of EVER to have been asked to parallel park during their driving test). I hate parking. Almost more so than lane changing (I’m with Marge Simpson. Changing lanes is for rally drivers, she sez.)

I sure would win a prize for least put together female in the western world

I check my reflection before I leave the house. After that I do not look closely in mirrors during the course of the day. I don’t quite know why; it’s a weird kind of phobia. It started back in high school, when I simply refused to ever look at myself in the bathroom mirrors. Suffice to say I had some body image issues, and today I think that persists a bit even though my skin has cleared up. I am friends with my home mirror, and that’s about it.

That said, I do check myself out in car windows. The picture is much more forgiving. And something about the curve shortens my long, rectangular face.

What useless things would you win at?

3 thoughts on “I may never win an Oscar or Grammy, but…

  • Reply Cassie April 17, 2012 at 09:19

    If it makes you feel any better I was asked to parallel park on my driving test as well. To this day, it was the only time I’ve done it successfully on the first try. I suck at parallel parking.

  • Reply thisaggiesaves April 17, 2012 at 10:50

    I’d be the world’s most forgetful person for sure. Not something to be proud of! My memory is non existant sometimes… I’d also win at being late every day to work. Does that count?

  • Reply Revanche April 22, 2012 at 06:50

    We MUST be related! Though after all these years, I can parallel park, not easily or with panache but I can make it happen eventually. That’s a nurture thing though, and environmental as well. Living in CA, you are compelled to learn it and I’d be mortified if I were to walk away from a poorly parked car.

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