I used to be afraid of getting older – but no more


“You’ve changed.”

Anyone ever said that to you?

I veer between thinking “at the core, people don’t really change” to “people inevitably change, and it’s a given”.

What I DO know for sure is that changing your identity is basically a prerequisite to any big, lasting change you want in life.

I’ve never had a strong sense of self, of who I was, what I liked, what I didn’t like, what I wanted. For various reasons.

As children, we form our identities based largely on what those around us reflect back to us.

Honestly, what I had reflected back to me was mostly negative. It’s just how I was raised.

Thankfully, in adulthood, I’ve surrounded myself with many people who lift me up. Through pure sheer luck careerwise, in particular, I’ve changed how I see myself gradually through the smallest of comments and observations, compounded over time. That helped build a strong foundation where there was nothing before.

I borrowed their positive beliefs and reflections. I adopted them until I could actually embrace, integrate, incorporate them.

I find that now I need less external input and validation.

I can do it for myself.

The training wheels are off.

I literally feel more solid inside. Like I am more whole at the core.  I do the shadow work. I bring more consciousness to my days. I’m more aware of my thoughts, feelings, and reactions. I’m integrating all the parts of me, even those I started disconnecting from long ago, that started splitting off in response to difficult situations I couldn’t handle as a child.

It’s like I was a page in a colouring book that’s now been filled in with gorgeous shading.

I used to dread ageing. Now, I’m excited for all the time I have left ahead of me. I just keep getting better and better. I know there’s so much more to do, learn, and experience. To look forward to. As I’ve reconnected to my body, myself in my physical dimension, my wholeness of mind/body/spirit, the more I can feel things brewing that I look forward to downloading and channelling in the years to come.

33 was a year of big personal growth. I can’t wait to see what comes next.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *