(Warning: may contain countless contradictions)
Where did that last post come from? I’ve been pondering that, after all of your insightful comments.
I suppose it came from coming to terms with the fact that I’m not likely to make tons in my field and that T may not be making a stable income for a while. From realising what my priorities are (experiences, I guess, rather than things like having a new car, or a boat, or a bach). I’m not going all Simple Dollar and advocating a life of scrimping. I’m not saying it would be BAD to come into a lot of money, or to make six figures, but I’m a pretty simple person at heart. At least, I think I am. Even if I somehow ended up ridiculously wealthy, I wouldn’t want to live a high rolling lifestyle. That’s just not me.
At the risk of sounding unambitious, I’m not and never have been the kind who’s driven to make a million by 25. I don’t aspire to a high-ranking position; I have zero desire to manage others.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t have ambition. I want to advance, I don’t want to stay in the same place forever. I just don’t know exactly where I want to end up at this stage.
I do want to make more money, I do want to see the world, I do want to get married, buy a house, have kids. I have goals; I’ve always had something to work towards, from getting high grades, to getting into my major, to actually graduating. Now that all that’s out of the way, maybe I’m drifting a little, but I certainly don’t plan to go backwards. Hence, I will keep doing what I’m doing and taking whatever opportunities I’m offered.
I’m re-assessing what a career is and to what extent it defines us, and whether in the future I want an all-consuming kind of job – one that I live and breathe – or one that lets me work 9-5 and find fulfillment in other things outside of work. Yeah, all this three months into my first FT job. Remember that ‘perfect day’ post from a while ago? In the end, what I want is a happy relationship, great friends, a decently-or-well-paying job that I like and am good at, activities outside of work, the freedom to travel, eat out and enjoy the little luxuries in life…and at some point children (Although I’d happily skip the labour part). A stereotypically middle-class existence, perhaps?
As for T, I feel like this year may be a really defining one. I could be wrong (we’re already a quarter of the way through, after all). But he’s starting to slow down, to mature more, to think a little further ahead, to understand the power of money and the freedom that not spending every cent affords. He’s more reflective, more introspective, more self aware. He says he might finally be in the right headspace for going to university; that once he has the right tools he’d like to start making and selling things on the side. We discussed the fact that maybe he has a fear of failure, or a fear of boredom. And even if he doesn’t have a plan for the future, he, at least, is fairly materialistic, and thus motivated by making more so he can at the very least pull his own weight.
Anyway, no doubt everyone is sick of my ongoing quarterlife crisis and self-indulgent posts. (It does end, right?) Promise I’ll lay off for a while.