Geek in Heels had a great blog post about ‘genetic gifts’ the other day, and whether your partner’s traits (that would presumably be passed on to your children) would be a factor in the relationship. Oh man, that brought up some memories, I tell you.
See, my parents HATED my first serious boyfriend. I’m not really sure why. I mean, yes, he was often a bit of a douchebag to others, but never to me. He was never rude to my family, but they were very hostile to him, and he didn’t really know how to act around them (not only are they a little weird, but there was definitely culture clash going on as well). Not only was I threatened to be cut from the family will if I didn’t choose my partner wisely….along with a lecture on ‘leading boys on’ because I wanted to travel in the future, and had I disclosed that to all potential boyfriends? Ya, don’t ask me how their brains worked on this one…and of course, the infamous, unforgettable lecture I got at the age of 16.
Apparently, I shouldn’t even THINK of marrying someone until we both had genetic tests. Just in case he happened to have bad genes, or tendencies for certain disabilities/diseases/syndromes…I don’t know, whatever. I was STUNNED. There I was standing awkwardly in their bedroom, shifting from foot to foot and wondering what on earth I’d done to deserve such wackjobs for parents. I actually could not believe what they were saying, and I asked them if they’d done this test themselves.
“But of course,” they said.
I should have known better than to ask, really.
If my genes are anything to go by, my kids are screwed. I am nearly blind. I’m weak, clumsy, awkward (both physically and socially) and prone to skin conditions and allergies. On the other hand, I can eat as much as I want and not gain weight. And I did pretty well in school, although I’m not sure that counts as intelligence.
On the other hand T is tall, muscly, sporty, smart and has perfect vision (we had a very random but fun discussion last night about how we would’ve fared in American high school, from what we know through pop culture 😛 I would’ve probably been bullied being a geek, and he would probably have been a quarterback and gone to university on a sports scholarship). I’m hoping most of his genes overpower mine when the time comes…
lol, I can totally relate! While my parents never told me I had to get genetic testing,with my first boyfriend they’d periodically comment on how I was supposed to “improve the race” (rough translation….before I start getting yelled at for having racist parents, lol), not make it worse! All that because my first boyfriend was the same height as me and not taller.
lol. maybe your kids will take your best qualities from each of you? 🙂
Thanks for the linkage! I had the same problem with my first boyfriend — he was short, skinny, and not very book-smart. My parents hated him and would constantly ask, “Would you like your kids to be like him?”
On a related note, the best relationship advice I’ve ever gotten was: do not marry a man unless you’d be proud if you had a son just like him. I don’t know how much genetics play into things like personality, but I’d be over the moon if my future son(s) turned out just like my husband!
I’ve already turned into our parents — I told my BFF that she should really consider if she truly wanted her douchey BF at the time to be the father of her children and if she’d want her children to follow his example in life, on top of having his genes.
It’s a valid argument when both Nature AND Nurture are bad news 😛
The only thing my parents ever said to me about it was that my BFs/eventual husband had to be someone who cared enough about me to take care of me if needed. I was the one (still am) worried about my craptastic genes.