Reverb 10: Lessons learned

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I’ve come to accept a few things. That I am a control freak. That sometimes I overthink things too much. That I really do have a terrible memory, for faces, for movies, for dates. That I am an introvert to the core, and that I’ve almost totally forgotten how to act at social gatherings, aside from the company of a select few friends.

But mostly, that I’m awkward. In almost every sense of the word. I’m awkward physically, I bump into things, I trip over things and if you’re walking next to me on the footpath, don’t be surprised if I push you practically onto the road. Walking in a straight line is apparently just one of those things that eludes me.

And of course I’m awkward socially. I know I’m not alone in saying that, especially in the blog world. I know, theoretically that while I’m shifting from foot to foot, nodding, and trying to maintain solid eye contact, that sometimes the other person is feeling equally as uncomfortable (although they’re usually better at hiding it.)

But by now, it’s pretty obvious that this is not just a phase. I’m not going to grow out of it. Sometimes I can fake it. But I’m going to have to live with it and learn to deal with it. I’m going to accept social invitations, even when I’m 99% positive it’s not going to be a pleasant experience and I won’t know many people there. I’ll make better watercooler talk with people in my department, even if I can’t quite manage it with those from other teams. Staying in with a movie or book may be the more appealing option most of the time, but often it’s also the cowardly one.

2 thoughts on “Reverb 10: Lessons learned

  • Reply Stephany December 19, 2010 at 03:45

    Love this. I am so right there with you, I know 2011 is where I need to step outside my comfort zone a little because, while there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert and preferring night ins, I also need to learn to stretch my wings. I’ll always prefer night ins or night outs, but a night out every once in a while won’t hurt me! 🙂

  • Reply Amanda December 20, 2010 at 03:51

    I think you’ve sort of shone more of a negative light on this than it deserves. In our household, my dad and sister would characteristically be the same as you, right there; whereas mum and I are the exact opposite. I don’t think staying in is “cowardly”, and you’ll find that even the most outgoing and socially confident people find social gatherings where they hardly know anyone daunting as well.

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