Something has been irking me of late. I’ve noticed it almost exclusively in the personal finance blogosphere. This is possibly because by its very nature, money is a polarising topic. (Hence why many write anonymously.) This invites, whether we like it or not, judgement from others. Or maybe it’s simply because it’s a niche I spend so much time reading. Who knows?
Serendipity summed up much of what I have to say in this recent post. But I have a little more to add.
I’m lucky to have awesome readers. I can count on one hand the number of trolly commenters I’ve had on my money posts. Others… well.
Swear to God, almost every wedding post I read makes me less keen on having one. Especially when the bar subject comes up. Open bar? No? What a cheapskate! Who do you think you are??
Weddings are not about you, the guest. It’s about the couple. Their union. If the provision or lack thereof of free alcohol is such a big deal, then RETHINK WHY YOU’RE ATTENDING. Cheap? Cheap would be not serving food. Or not playing music at all.
If you think it’s tacky, just don’t be a total ass about voicing your opinion. It’s when you suggest maybe cutting back in other areas so guests can have free booze…that’s overstepping the line. This is not your wedding. You don’t know the couple’s priorities. You don’t know if music, or amazing video, or a live band is more important to them. Piss off.
Quick backstory: Fig, in a very honest and slightly downhearted net worth update, confessed to sometimes feeling discouraged at her lack of progress in comparison to some (no fingers pointed or names named, just a frank statement).
FB, in her own net worth update, wondered if she should stop sharing hers. Although I did not follow the debate, I’m going to make a statement here. Apparently a bunch of people jumped on the slagging bandwagon and tore into…well, you can imagine what was said. This was not Fig’s problem or FB’s problem. Blogging is (or should be) a safe place to share. It is the snarky, smartass readers who form a lynch mob and turn near feral who are/have the problem.
I didn’t read the comments. I refuse to. I am always amazed at how rude some people can be on the web, and if I can avoid being disappointed once again in the human race, then I’ll snap up the opportunity.
Assuming you are not some kind of millionaire, can you honestly – in your heart of hearts – say you never feel slightly disheartened when you see others with net worths many, many times larger than yours? That you never compare yourself and come up short?
If so, then you’re a better person than me. In fact, that makes you a perfect human being. Congratulations.
Actually, no. That’s not quite accurate. To earn the title of “perfect”, you would be actually encouraging others, rather than ripping them to shreds without a second thought.
And more generally…
There are many, many bloggers out there on a quest to become debt-free, and are doing incredible things to get there. But they are human. They have emergencies that derail them. They need the occasional break, the occasional splurge. It’s about dedication, not deprivation. It’s only healthy. Again, as above – are you walking the walk yourself, every single day, never ever ever veering off the path? If not, then STFU.
We bloggers are, by nature, a reflective lot. When we write about and acknowledge our mistakes, we’re taking the first steps toward rectifying them. Your bashing there can be never be helpful.
This is not to say you should never voice a dissenting opinion. In fact, I sometimes think people are TOO sensitive about comments. A misconstrued word. A new reader who lacks background knowledge. Etc.
Haters will hate. But for the love of God, try to couch your critical comments constructively. If you’re genuine about wanting to help, take a little time to think about how you phrase it – we’re much more likely to take it on board. And have the balls to put your name to it.
I move that douchebag Anon comments should hereby be rejected. Who’s with me?