Cohabiting = Compromise


When T and I first started living together, it was good fun. First year uni was fairly cruisy, so while he worked 11-hour days, I took care of most of the stuff around the house. Eventually the situation reversed; I was busier, while he worked shorter days, and eventually, not at all. (I’ve written many a post about this trying time…very glad that’s behind us.) The thing is, while I needed him to step up at home, it wasn’t that easy. It’s an ongoing battle!

Cleaning: It’s a double edged sword. He doesn’t like to clean, nor does he do a good job of it….hence I basically do it all. That said, I had a 55-ish hour week this week, while he was at home (forced to take some leave before the end of the financial year) and was more helpful than usual. Kudos.

Bedtime: I like to stay up and read. Meanwhile, he goes to sleep a lot earlier than I do; he starts work at least four hours earlier than I do on a normal day. We don’t have a separate living room.

Food: Thank goodness he’s good in the kitchen. Nonetheless, as we’ve no longer eat convenience foods and cook more from scratch, our different tastes have made themselves known. For instance, having grown up on Chinese/SE Asian food, I’m used to dishes where stuff is already all cut up for me. I like things that are easy to eat. I never had prawns, steak, ribs, chops, roasts…and I often find them fiddly and irritating to deal with. I also hate anything that remotely resembles fat or rind on meat. If it were up to me, I would only ever eat chicken breast, stir fry beef, beef mince and the odd steak. Never pork. Instead, from time to time he serves up strange concoctions, like pork and kumara curry. They are not two of my favourite foods, but like almost all of his cooking, I was pleasantly surprised.

Luckily our taste in veggies is very similar – mushrooms, capsicums, and asparagus being three of our favourite. I am, however, a potato girl through and through while he’s a kumara devotee (sigh). Also, his opinion of what constitutes a dessert portion is obscene – think large dinner serving bowl or cereal bowl.

9 thoughts on “Cohabiting = Compromise

  • Reply Amber from Girl with the Red Hair March 15, 2011 at 12:13

    Oh it totally equals compromise doesn’t it! I am a morning person while Eric is a night owl so we very rarely go to sleep at the same time. I usually am in bed by 9 – 10 pm and he’s in bed more like 11 pm – 1 am. I like it though because I sleep better when it’s just me in the bed! This is why I can’t wait to get a king sized bed!!

    As for the cleaning, Eric is helpful with dishes and does them regularly. Occasionally will vacuum. But NEVER does laundry. I don’t really mind though because I would rather do my own laundry to be honest!

  • Reply First Gen American March 15, 2011 at 20:24

    My husband is very neat and I still don’t like the way he folds the laundry or makes the beds. I just have to be happy he does it though.

    What’s a capsicum?

    • Reply eemusings March 17, 2011 at 10:33

      Aka bell pepper. Not that they’re actually bell shaped…..silly word!

  • Reply What makes a relationship work? « Musings of an Abstract Aucklander March 18, 2011 at 09:39

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  • Reply The Asian Pear March 19, 2011 at 13:07

    I’m going to give you a bit of advice that my Mom gave to me and my sister-in-law. Nana asked my Mom what was the secret to marriage on my parents’ 36th anniversary. My Mom said, “Compromise. When neither parties are truly satisfied, you know that you’re in a good marriage.”


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