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Have you ever ‘just known’ something was the right thing to do?

Have you ever 'just known' something was the right thing to do?

I’m curious.

Because I haven’t.

When people get engaged after just meeting each other, or decide to move to a city after spending a few hours or a few days there, I just shake my head.

As a chronically indecisive overthinker, I cannot truly understand that kind of certainty.

I can’t think of any decision I’ve ever made that I was 100% sure about, from choosing a job to choosing a house to rent, from getting married to going travelling for an extended time.

Sometimes I think it must be nice to ‘just know’.

18 thoughts on “Have you ever ‘just known’ something was the right thing to do?

  • Reply Raquel October 21, 2014 at 08:52

    Yes! This happens to me all the time, usually with huge decisions. It can be surprising for my partner/friends/family, because I’m usually such a measured person. But sometimes, when it comes to big things, I’ll wake up in the morning and the decision has been made. For example:

    – I woke up one morning and thought ‘I’m moving to Wellington’, and I did a few weeks later. I had only ever been to Wellington once, for a day, to see an art exhibition, but I loved it.

    – I decided not to take up a teaching post in Taiwan, because I had a really good feeling about the guy I just started seeing. (It’s our three year anniversary on Thursday)

    – When I was 16 I made a snap decision to move out of home. Which I did, a few weeks later, and I’ve never been back.

    – Just recently I’ve committed to a course of study next year, after only a day’s thought. I’m sure it’s the right thing to do.

  • Reply Sarah Greesonbach October 21, 2014 at 09:15

    “Show me a confident person and I’ll show you someone who hasn’t considered all the options” —- recently my new favorite quote πŸ™‚ (@JoeBerkowitz)

  • Reply Jennifer October 21, 2014 at 10:21

    I feel as though ive grown more indecisive as ive grown older. I remember choosing my gcse’s and a level subjects at school and being sure of what I wanted. By the time I got to uni I went through three courses before I chose the one I wanted to do.

  • Reply Genie October 21, 2014 at 11:15

    I’d never make a snap decision truly spontaneously.

    I might seem like someone who makes those impulsive decisions but I’m not. If I do appear to make those kinds of decisions it’s only because I’ve been pondering it for ages secretly.

    I truly believe it’s good to put out into the universe the changes you are open to or would like to see in your life. So that when an opportunity comes along, you can jump on it.

  • Reply Taylor Lee October 21, 2014 at 11:17

    While I am usually a very “logical person”–read: indecisive but at time try desperately to apply rationality to this otherwise very irrational world– there have definitely been times I “just knew” from the gut that I needed to shift gears. Usually this followed intense periods of brooding (e.g. breaking up with an ex whom I dated for seven years) but sometimes came out of nowhere (e.g. deciding to move to my current city because I liked the vibe).

    Almost always there was “an event” that marked my shift in thinking. Whether it was watching an eye opening film or going to Chipotle and crying into my burrito for no apparent reason at three in the afternoon, at some point I just… I don’t know… I just knew!

    One thing that has always helped me in making decisions is forgiving myself beforehand. I remind myself that we can only ever make the best decisions based on the information have at the time. And maybe in hindsight we made the suboptimal choice. But that’s okay! Almost any decisions can be lived with, as long as you do your best at the life that you choose.

  • Reply Tonya@Budget and the Beach October 21, 2014 at 12:15

    lol I hear ya! Just once I wish a decision was easy. I think that’s the Libra in my talking. We weigh the pros and cons of everything!

  • Reply Revanche October 21, 2014 at 13:40

    Mostly moral-type decisions: if someone is in need of help and I can help without hurting anything, then I help. Certain things are right to do vs wrong to do.
    Investing and savings. That kind of stuff, I don’t really have to think about IF I should do it, just how.

    Things like moving or buying something? I think that stuff to pieces. Much to the annoyance of anyone who has to listen to me think it through aloud πŸ™‚

  • Reply Sense October 21, 2014 at 13:41

    Yes, and it is pretty intense for me. It’s like I suddenly cannot even consider other choices, because my gut is telling me something so strong I can’t ignore it. It isn’t in my head at all; more of a feeling in my stomach/heart area (hence, gut! πŸ™‚ ). I usually have to do a brain-check afterward, to see if it makes sense enough rationally, too. It is like there are two competing wills in my body. I have learned to always go with it when I get that feeling.

    My gut wins usually, though I feel better when my brain signs off on the idea–and then my brain takes over and does all the planning to make the thing happen.

    When I don’t get that feeling, I can debate about something for AGES and be completely paralyzed. I like analyzing, I love weighing pros and cons, am terribly indecisive (menus are the WORST!), so I’m not sure what this gut thing is about exactly. It’s almost like I am just compelled to do whatever it is. There is suddenly no choice anymore, no matter how scary, no matter how much logical thinking warns me that it will be hard/brutal/whatever, I just have a need to follow through when I have that feeling. I have never regretted going with my gut…it’s only when I DON’T go with it do I really regret things.

    Move to NZ? IMMEDIATE YES. I didn’t even blink when my ex asked me to come along. If you knew me, you’d think I’d hesitate, debate forever, freak out, but I knew it was a solid choice the instant he uttered the idea. Even after we broke up and things were a mess, I never really regretted moving here (just being so far away from family/support).

    PhD offered to me? Yep, immediately knew it was the next step, and the thing to do.

    In the past, a few gut feelings:
    standing up for myself at work when I could have let it go
    signing up for a workshop that was the most terrifying experience of my career (but changed my life forever in numerous ways)
    breaking up with all my exes
    choosing my new flatmates (we’ll see). I was 100% undecided after meeting 4 great couples for my flat. I debated for a whole day, talking with friends, and got no further. I woke up the next day and had my pick. I couldn’t even THINK of offering the place to anyone else. And these were the ones that were at the back of the pack after pros/cons/endless circles of debate in my head and with friends just the day before. I dunno. I just KNEW.

    I can also tell–sometimes from just photos–when friends have met the person they are supposed to be with. That one I always keep to myself, though. The friend changes in ways that are indescribable but impossible to ignore. I can look at them together and Just KNOW. So bizarre!

    So. weird. To my overly-analytical brain, it makes absolutely no sense. But I’m super grateful for that instinct! πŸ™‚

    Good topic.

  • Reply nicoleandmaggie October 21, 2014 at 14:06

    Only when it comes to DH. πŸ™‚ But it took me a while to realize that certainty (months of friendship! and a kiss on the hand…), so I guess not really.

  • Reply Mrs. Frugalwoods October 21, 2014 at 14:22

    I’d say I’m a chronic over-thinker as well… I’m guilty of paralysis by analysis. However, I usually take so dang long to make a decision that by the time I finally do, I’m really sure that it’s the right choice.

  • Reply Mutant Supermodel October 22, 2014 at 04:47

    Hmmm sometimes yes and sometimes no and sometimes even though I don’t KNOW I decide anyways. Overthinking is frustrating.

  • Reply Newlyweds on a Budget October 22, 2014 at 06:07

    haha as someone who got married after just three months of dating (engaged after two!) , I can say with 100 percent certainty that I “knew” and luckily, I still feel that way almost five years later. In fact, I feel even luckier than the day we got married!

  • Reply Funny about Money October 22, 2014 at 13:23

    Occasionally. In my experience, though, “just knowing” is a formula for finding oneself shockingly disappointed. It’s a variety of magical thinking, eh?

  • Reply Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank October 23, 2014 at 00:32

    I am not good at making decisions. So almost all the time you can find me asking some suggestions from friends. It takes effort and critical thinking before knowing the right thing to do, honestly.

  • Reply Ms. Mintly October 23, 2014 at 05:03

    I feel like I could have written this post. πŸ™‚ In books, the protagonist often seems to “just know” something is the right/wrong thing to do. I figured that if the choice was big and important enough, I’d just KNOW!

    I thought that when it was time for me to choose a career path, I’d just KNOW what I should choose to pursue.

    I thought that if someone proposed, I would definitely KNOW whether to say yes or no.

    I thought that when it was time to have a baby, I would definitely KNOW whether I should or not.

    In all of those instances (pretty big life choices!), I’ve never known! Not even had a gut instinct – just had to really consider the pros and cons (how unromantic!) and I will say I’ve never regretted any of those choices!

  • Reply Manda | musicalpoem October 23, 2014 at 12:09

    I tend to be really indecisive until I reach a point where I’m over thinking/considering all my options and then go with my gut. Which sounds counterintuitive, but somehow it works.

  • Reply The Asian Pear October 25, 2014 at 13:40

    Even when I know, I always second guess myself. So… No. I never know. Though people always THINK I’m sure.

  • Reply Amanda October 26, 2014 at 21:11

    I find that I’m indecisive as fuck 90% of the time… but there’s that 10% where I’ll just hands down know, even if it’s about something absolutely outrageously crazy, and go with it. Something borderline like that is happening in my life right now, but a lot of it is out of my hands and I don’t want to jinx it. Maybe in a few months’ time I’ll be like OH FUCK YES LIFE on my blog. Maybe.

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