Recent events have brought me closer to and further from various people in my life.
It’s gotten me thinking a lot about forgiveness.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve known the power of words. I can barely recall a time before I could read and write.
It’s strange, the things – actions and words alike – that I never thought I’d forgive. But looking over my shoulder, I realise that somewhere along the way, I did. It wasn’t a conscious choice.
And conversely, there’s the words that have actually stuck with me for decades and that I don’t think I’ll ever let go of. The funny thing is, I don’t think the people in question realise what impact those throwaway comments had. That’s why I’m so careful about what I say (and write).
Then there’s the things we say in emotional moments that are actually quite manipulative or malicious. We are all flawed, but it’s deeply disappointing to see this in those closest to us.
While actions do speak a million louder than words, for me it’s words that actually stick in my memory, that have lasting impact, and will refer back to when the actions start to fade from memory.
There’s a lot of things I need to start to forgive and let go of, before they eat away at me.
Or failing that, in the words of Emily Yoffe, I must accept them and move on.