Ever feel like you don’t deserve your good fortune?

When you feel like you don't deserve your good fortune

For all the work I’ve been doing on money and mindset recently, I still struggle sometimes with it all.

The last few years have been awesome for my income growth  and financial security.

And yet the thought keeps rearing its head: I don’t deserve this. How long can this last?

What I’m doing to counter these doubts:

Reminding myself there is room to grow

I know it’s possible to do so. Salary surveys and job listings out there prove it. As do people I’ve worked with who earn more. (Of course, this leads to another dangerous path that lies in the complete opposite direction – why don’t I already make that much?)

Remembering that me having less doesn’t make the world a better place somehow

The starving artist, nobility is poverty mindset dies hard, I guess. And it’s ridiculous. Me struggling would do nobody any good. I try to remember to give back by donating every month, as well as trying to somewhat regularly give blood, meet up with my mentee, and I’ve also recently joined a local nonprofit board. (Another trigger for imposter syndrome right there!)

Reviewing how far I’ve come

I’m horrible at tracking my accomplishments. But I recently updated my CV and LinkedIn (you don’t even want to know how long that took me) and when I’m feeling down on myself professionally, I look back at some of the stuff I’ve done for reassurance.

How do you cope when you feel like you don’t deserve what you’ve got?


6 thoughts on “Ever feel like you don’t deserve your good fortune?

  • Reply SP November 9, 2017 at 16:44

    Always, always. Even before I had much.

    And part of me really believes that no one really deserves anything, but we all are just making the best of what we can. Deserve is a word I’m very uncomfortable with.

  • Reply Yet Another PF Blog November 10, 2017 at 01:22

    I feel this all the freakin’ time. When I’m feeling overwhelmed by it, I try to think of the luck and fortune as begetting responsibility. And just because I’m uncomfortable with that responsibility doesn’t mean it’s better for me to just abdicate it. So I do things like up my charitable donations, volunteer, and use what power I have to pass along my good fortune to the next gal.

  • Reply Femme November 10, 2017 at 02:39

    I can’t lie–there have been very few times in my life when I’ve had the opportunity to feel this way. And when that opportunity has arisen, I haven’t felt it. Probably because my sense of good fortune is just everyone else’s normal lol. I haven’t ever really gotten past the point where I can contribute to retirement, save a solid efund, and help my family and small charitable donations and when I have there’s always been years of intensive work involved.

    I do consider myself lucky and fortunate to even be able to get there when I’m sitting in it, but not necessarily undeserving.

    You’ve worked your tail off, too. You’re deserving. You’ve faced obstacles and overcame. Even if there are moments of self-doubt. As long as you keep being a good, empathetic person with money (which I can’t ever imagine you not being these things), you’re solid in my book for what it’s worth. The fact that you’re feeling this at all probably makes you a better person than me lol.

  • Reply Amanda Page November 10, 2017 at 02:53

    Oh, wow. I’m so glad to hear that someone else still does this. I struggle with this A LOT and I always assume it has something to do with where I grew up and the messages percolating around that town. Just the bit about “me having less does not make the world a better place” helps. I needed to hear that, and will come back to this post often, I bet, when I’m wrestling with this same demon.

  • Reply Serina aka Ms Frugal Ears November 10, 2017 at 11:55

    As a frugalista, I struggle with spending money on myself. This is kind of good as it creates wealth, but I have a tendency to put myself last. Thank you for your honesty in sharing this.

  • Reply Michelle November 18, 2017 at 18:58

    I struggle with feeling bad about wanting more…then, I sabotage myself. It’s really annoying. Also, I’ve somehow internalized this idea that there is this purity to denying myself or just barely earning enough. I wrote a post about this last week and it’s something that drives me freaking crazy, especially because I now recognize how I get in my own way.

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