A shout out today to the humble pause. That extra beat, that intake of breath.
It saves me as a parent, over and over.
When I pause and respond rather than instantly react, I’m less likely to snap or yell or lose it. Also, pro tip I heard on a podcast: get down to their level. When you’re towering over them it’s easy to give in to that temptation to assert your authority. Much harder to shout when you’re down at their eye level.
Likewise, I can navigate frustrating situations with other people or at work with more calm and grace when I first pause. Then choose a more charitable interpretation (the most generous one). It’s almost always incompetence, never malice.
And of course, it’s a great thing when it comes to money. Pausing to ask if you really want to spend on that thing. Is that the best use of your money? And pausing in negotiations.
Lord know I’ve been through so many mental gymnastics, pricing myself up and down and spinning in circles.
I’ve learned to just lean into whatever number feels right. My body guides me. I’ve doubled my rates in a quote and they didn’t hesitate. I’ve had someone misunderstand my tiered proposal and interpret it at a higher figure, which she still thought was a good deal.
Going through life more consciously has changed everything.
Learning to be more present. To self regulate. To actually feel and process emotions. To choose more deliberately and strategically.
And yet … conversely … in a way, so has surrendering to the potential of the subconscious.
Learning to step back. Detach. Surrender. Let in inspiration.
It’s a balancing act – raising consciousness while also stepping back from it.
But what they both have in common is slowing down.
Pausing.
Stepping away from the reactive instinct.
Pausing, breathing, being.
Something to help carry you through the holiday season. <3
