I feel like I covered off a big money update last month… so, time for a life update!
I’ve shifted into a new, slightly different role that’s just the challenge I need. Dreamed up a new awesome freelance offer (I’m often referred to edit books and help put together online courses, and now I’m seeing a need for ongoing strategic and editing support with regular daily/weekly content). Finished NLP (neurolinguistic practitioner) certification and now am cooking up a coaching offer (which I envision as being a next step up from my course, and broader – more life and money, not just money). Watching Parenthood and Better Things; next up Ted Lasso, and catching up on the later seasons of Gilmore Girls (even if I hear they went off the rails)
But realistically the thing that takes so much time, energy, bandwidth… is parenting.
Sooo… here’s a braindump of life on that front 😊
Toddler eating + ongoing food intolerances
Spud is firmly in the beige food phase. I don’t blame him. All his intolerances really do restrict things.
Dairy, seafood and fish, nuts (though all are improving, especially I thiiiink that last one?) – it cuts out many options, especially for an already picky toddler.
A couple summers ago he returned to nightly screaming around midnight, waking and squealing bloody murder. It took a few days but eventually I pinpointed the likely culprit: my granola, which he’d started eating as well. So much for healthier breakfast cereals! Nuts were not identified in the ingredient list, but I imagine there were probably trace amounts. And when you can’t trust the inclusions on the label, you start making your own. So, I now make my own granola every week.
When we did Hello Fresh for awhile, he was also struggling at nights. Again, I can only assume trace presence in some of the ingredients.
The last few months, he’s started vocalising it, constantly telling me he has a sore tummy. That’s helpful, rather than me just surmising it from his actions and behaviour.
What’s helping? This kiwifruit bowel health stuff is magic for soothing digestive issues fast. Also still doing these Renew Life kids probiotics, but the kiwi stuff is gold for quick relief. (I also have these digestive enzyme tablets on hand as a backup.)
Obviously avoiding, though not totally, those trigger foods helps (dairy is in so many things, and lingers in the body too, as it’s slow to process through).
Screaming surprise! at me constantly.
Countdown farm blocks.
Dinosaurs and sea creatures.
Counting out syllables.
Sounding out letters.
Asking questions, always. Are there lots of cranes in Ukraine?
Revelling and struggling with…
Teaching him how to think. This coaching really is the crux of parenting IMO.
Asking questions. Open-ended, ideally.
What have you tried? What else could you try?
What about X? Strong-willed kids do better with suggestions than instructions, or at least this one does.
I want him to form his own thoughts. Do things for himself. Learn to think and work through things for himself.
So I find myself always trying to come up with analogies and examples.
Sometimes it’s easy – ‘hug it!’ I said, telling him how to stay on the spinny thing at the park.
Sometimes not. A page was ripped in his book – ‘”put it in the bin” was his response (as usual). I said ‘ if you get a scrape or scratch or bruise, are you no good, should I put you in the bin?’ Possibly a bit harsh but I think the message got through … nope, you’re still you and you’re still working just fine.
I try to show when I’m learning too – making mistakes, having difficulty doing something. We saw BMX bikers doing all sorts of daring tricks as the Easter show, some wiping out pretty badly. I was thrilled. We were in the front row right up close. What better way to see people trying, failing, getting back up and trying again?
His perfectionism tendencies (‘put it in the bin!’ ‘I’m done!’) are strong. “You’re perfect” he’s told me, even when I clearly show I’m not. But the other day, I heard “It’s not perfect but it’s fine” – and my heart soared.
Staying calm, modelling calm nonviolent communication and a can-do attitude, reminding him we can figure anything out and fix things. Spilling milk in the morning always results in upset. But you know what? We don’t have to wipe up every drop immediately, as you’re probably going to spill more before you finish.
My family of origin is very judgmental, quick to share their thoughts and opinions. I want to foster the opposite. Cultivate non-judgmental, open-minded curiosity.
It’s possible. Could be.
Very little is black and white in life here on earth. I try to reflect that in what I say.
What I’m thinking about
Thinking about starting school in term 4, and holiday care…
Thinking about planning his first plane trip…