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Browsing category: Uncategorized

  • October 8, 2010

    Review: Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton

    I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I picked up this book. The cover suggested a light, humorous take on consumerist society – an indictment of the whole keeping up with the Jones’ mentality. In fact, it’s a rather scholarly analysis of modern happiness that was much more intelligent than I bargained for and leaves the reader with plenty to mull over.

    Status Anxiety starts off rather dry, but picks up once it begins delving into theories on class and society – think Marx and the like. Feudal society probably sounds awful to you or I – peasants toiling in the fields, medieval landlords lording it over their servants. But he argues that everyone was in fact kinder to one another back then (perhaps as there was virtually no hope of ever escaping your “place”, so those higher up the ladder didn’t feel threatened), and that most people were actually content. It’s a fascinating concept. Everyone knew their place in a hierarchical, class based system, but at the same time, were valued for the role they played.

    Were we really happier before the dawn of capitalism?

    Now anyone can theoretically become anything they want, but failure is like a moral condemnation. And most of us will fail at something at some point. Some failures (failing to lose that last 1.5kg) are no big deal, while others (failing to get a promotion) sting – and they’re much more visible. Our accomplishments, or lack thereof, are an indication of our worth as a human being. Yet isn’t our morality – the content of our character? – a better measure than our worldly feats?

    He writes that we either need to increase our achievements or reduce our desires. Surround ourselves with people on our level: think big fish in a small pond rather than vice versa. Happiness, it seems, is relative. Makes perfect sense to me.

    What do you think? Could or would you be happier in a simpler society?

  • October 6, 2010

    Money for couples: The contributions conundrum

    MONEY FOR COUPLES - managing joint finances and budgeting together

    Joint finances for couples

    When it comes to finances for couples, most people fall into two camps: The 50/50 split and the proportional split. (I’m excluding couples where income disparities are massive, for example, when one makes double what the other does – there seems to be general consensus that proportionate contributions are more appropriate then.)

    I decided to go with the latter in our case for a couple of reasons.

    For one, I make more. It’s not a huge amount, but it’s more than small change.

    And secondly, his income varies. Generally he works quite long hours and sometimes does Saturdays, but that’s not always the case. The difference between a 40-hour week (or less on occasion, as once their systems were down and everyone sent home) and a 55+hour week is significant.

    Since I’d been covering all our expenses for a few months prior to this anyway, the easiest route was to continue doing that, and just bank his contributions – barring an extra $10 a week into our “irregulars” account – directly into my savings.

    My driving guideline is pretty simple: What will leave us both better off?

    Flexibility, I think, is key. On weeks he brings in less than usual, then he puts less towards our expenses. It might come down to a choice between saving or debt repayment. And because the debt we’re focusing on is, well, to me, savings comes first. It’s not super-urgent nor is it accruing interest.

    We recently got a $320 AECT dividend, and while I decided to leave my half as a credit on our power bill, his went toward his EF. His circumstances mean that building up that safety net is paramount, while it’s not so much of an issue for me anymore.

    I do all this with an eye to the future – like I’ve said numerous times before, we’re planning for a future together, and although not all our money is merged, one day it most likely will be.

  • October 4, 2010

    September goal checkin

    Save 20 per cent of my income. Ugh, I think I did. I hope I did. And to be honest, I can’t be arsed checking. But I’ll make up for it by keeping an eagle eye on our finances in October.

    Try one new (to me) dinner recipe each week. Roast pork with red potatoes and cauliflower. Tom Yum soup. Salad – lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, boiled egg, feta. White chicken chili. Except the last one (which was actually for lunch) none of these really count as new recipes – seeing as I didn’t work to any – but they were all new to me.

    I’m kind of out of recipes. Anyone like to recommend some? Also, although I’m far from pro, I’m starting to dislike working from a strict recipe. Perhaps if you could even point me in the direction of interesting new (but not too complex) ideas; otherwise, I’m likely to modify them as I see fit.

    Run once a week. WIN! For the first time in…however many miserable wet months we’ve had? I even went twice this week. Something is going on…

    Donate to charity. Yep – donated to two separate charities in the immediate aftermath of the Christchurch quake, before they centralised all appeals into the one. Don’t know how far my $20 will go, but hopefully it will help someone.

  • October 3, 2010

    Another one bites the dust…

    one of my Goals (with a capital G) that is.

    I’m officially on NetworthIQ and have begun keeping tally of my net worth.

    I don’t anticipate updating it all that frequently, mainly because, er, it takes work. I have some money locked away with RaboPlus, and the sheer process of logging in is quite a mission. It requires me to be at home, to go over to my top drawer, dig out the DigiPass and the letter bearing my customer number, then endure the charade that is their supersecure sign-in. Hence why many people turn to Rabo – it’s hard to get at the money, so it’s ideal for bonafide saving.

    But it’s going to be a good way of keeping myself on track. Sometimes it’s hard to see yourself making progress, and net worth is a great thing for calculating that.

    I guess the big challenge will be not freaking out at ups and downs in the market!

  • October 3, 2010

    50 questions that will free your mind, part 7

    (Previous installments can be found here.)

    31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
    Er…working on the day of the Canterbury quake? I don’t know if that quite counts as passionate and alive. Maybe graduation last year. Or spending two days in the Coromandel, right before that, when all I had to do was eat, sunbathe and swim. Or going back to high school, performing in the talent quest every year.

    No, I know. It was dancing and singing my heart out to my friends’ cover band playing Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon earlier this year.

    32. If not now, then when?

    …Is this following on from #31? In that case, I can tell you when – in a week and a half when I see Metallica live. October 13 baby!!!

    33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

    Oh, money, probably.

    34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

    I don’t think so, no. Perhaps conversations where certain things went unsaid…but no.

    35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

    I firmly stand by the belief that love is not enough. Look, I don’t want to get into this, but there are plenty of things written in various holy scriptures that are polarising.

  • October 2, 2010

    October challenge

    There is a fine line between knowing your limits and your weaknesses, and sheer laziness. The former is why I don’t time or measure my runs in any way. I take different routes almost every time – I like mixing it up. For me, running has become enjoyable, and I don’t want to ruin it by making it a chore. I know if I started trying to, I don’t know, run 10k in an hour, all the fun would go out of it. That’s why I put my guitar down one summer and didn’t pick it up for more than three years. Practicing every day and turning it into some kind of competition with myself.

    This year I’ve set myself a few small challenges to stretch myself – take more photos, get familiar with my guitar again, bake, use more of my wardrobe.

    This month’s will be the hardest yet. I need a lot of sleep. I LOVE my sleep. But I’m going to set myself a goal of getting up an hour earlier from Wed-Fri – my work weekdays – and use them to get ahead on exercise, cooking and cleaning.

    Spring has finally sprung two months late, daylight savings is in full swing, and I am LOVING life. Winters may be getting harder, but that just means the onset of summer is soooo much sweeter. There is no way I would’ve set myself this goal last month or the month before…but spring is such a hopeful time, a time for do-overs, even.

    I’m also going to set myself a stretch goal of saving half my income this month. That’s going to be harder than usual, because taking leave (on weekends) means a big paycut. I get paid double time on Saturdays and Sundays. Therefore, not working on them and only getting paid my base, means a lot less in hand.

    And while I’m at it, I’m going to be completely Type-A about my finances. I will keep track of exactly how much I save, and keep track of T’s money as well. At the end of the month, I’ll tally everything up and see just what our combined incomes are doing for us…and if anything needs changing.

  • October 2, 2010

    Link love (Powered by long nights and other spring delights)

    Last weekend was, to say the least, ridiculously relaxing. Well, except for when I had a mid-afternoon meltdown because I realised I’d left my toiletry bag at home – on the stove, it turned out later, of all places. But was it the lack of skincare for my poor dehydrated, eczemaed skin, or the lack of toothbrush that bothered me the most? No, it was the lack of contact lenses that I’d paid a premium for in order to be shipped to me IN TIME FOR THE WEEKEND.

    That aside, being blind at the pools wasn’t too bad, all things considered.

    A few pictures…

    Outside the public toilets, at the main Matakana roundabout.

    Scallops (From a roadside vendor. Super fresh and juicy. Cheaper and better than the supermarket, but still, that is $15 worth!!!) and watercress/radish salad (from the Matakana farmers’ market).

    And now, the biz.

    MONEY

    Money Crush reminds us that rules-of-thumb are not hard and fast.

    Nicole and Maggie speak out in defence of impulse spending on small pleasures, and not being willing to sacrifice the future for the present.

    And Donna Freedman voices similar sentiments in this post. “To do so would mean giving up things like charitable donations, trips to the used bookstore, the option of having a second child, or even simply trying a new variety of cheese now and then.”

    Finding Serenity’s attempt to line-dry laundry to save money backfires. Catowners, got any tips?

    Saving Her Life shares ways to save on transport.

    Airam has some ideas for passing the time with fun free pastimes.

    Sunflowers on income-based student loan repayment plans (for those in the US).

    WellHeeled wonders if using coupons on a first date is acceptable.

    FruGal asks if you’d let a family member repay your debt on your behalf.

    Lady in the Red contemplates turning vegetarian to save cash.

    J Money gives his take on housebuying to a reader who’s rearing to buy his first home.

    A Master of Nothing Employable explains how to go to concerts on the cheap.

    WORK/CAREER

    Is becoming an educator right for you? TeacHer Finance gives us a peek into her chosen profession.

    A Cat of Impossible Colour on what makes a “real writer” and having the courage to own the title.

    Healthcare Working Girl blogs about her dreams for her child and why she doesn’t want her to follow her path.

    Shiftless and Lazy on just wanting to live the dream.

    FruGal defends the humble Arts degree.

    Ms Career Girl offers some advice to a reader who took his first job and ended up hating it.

    Financial Samurai has some practical tips for entrepreneurs starting their own business in the US.

    FOOD

    A Sheep in Wolves’ Clothing on why the raw food diet sucks.

    Plum and apple pie, via Smitten Kitchen (I had to look up what single crust meant). “Oh, and the lid crumbles. As in, it’s supposed to. There’s no way to get a clean slice and you shouldn’t even try. This pie is meant to be scooped indelicately with a large spoon, slopped unceremoniously on a plate, dolloped haphazardly with softly whipped cream and eaten shortly after it comes out of the oven.” MY KINDA PIE!

    Little Space presents her scrumptious looking
    taco soup.

    Iowa Girl Eats recreates the fresh seafood pasta she recently enjoyed in Italy.

    And StoneSoup sings the praises of soy sauce and suggests some new ways to make use of it.

    LIFE

    Dezolutions guestposts on Pushing Thirtyy, pondering the implication of a GenX-GenY relationship.

    Neurotic Workaholic on all the reasons her life is not a romantic comedy.

    Stephany gets fitted for running shoes and feels the difference.

    Girl and City struggles to adjust to life as a consultant in Singapore.

    Penelope Trunk blogs about how to take intelligent risks.

    Finally, random, but seriously awesome: The paint-by-numbers wedding guest book via Michelle Woo. I will be having one of those one day, thanks.

  • October 1, 2010

    Spendy McSpenderson

    Well, well, aren’t we the Spendy McSpenderson couple.

    First up: We now own an Xbox 360. A red one, no less.

    Here’s how it happened: EB Games were having a firesale on pre-owned consoles. T mentioned he’d like to save for one. I said that this was a really good deal, and he had enough to buy one now…but I made sure to stress to him that he’d really need to be stringent about saving from now.

    And it seems to have been a turning point for him – rather than saving for the worst, I think I need to couch it in terms of saving for opportunities. Funnily enough, I’d been fretting that he wasn’t saving nearly enough. I wanted him to feel like he was in control of his money, so I’d been asking him to decide how much he wanted to save/spend once the bills were paid. Most of the time, he opted for roughly a 50/50 split.

    Unfortunately, the 20GB ones were all out ($220). There were 120GB versions for $367 *choke* but seeing as it was technically HIS money to spend, I refrained from telling him he should wait. I did drop bellyaching hints about the large price difference, but in the end, we walked out with the 120GB. And he seems to be making good use of it, having already downloaded one or two games. And it’s still cheaper than a brand new one. And did I mention it’s red?

    I think we now know what he’ll be spending a lot of play money on. Xbox Live membership, for one. The first month is free, but after that you gotta cough up. They have a deal going for new members – 50 per cent off, so $15 for three months – which I suppose isn’t bad, but it’s still a bit of a rort. And games.

    My phone charger also died this month. By died, I mean warped-its-tines-while-being-shunted-around-in-my-handbag-far-beyond-repair. Instead of buying a new charger online – which I did, albeit a week later – we bought a new phone.

    Granted, I hated my cellphone. I wanted a new one. And we happened to have free tickets to the Home Show that weekend, and PB Tech had a stall there with some sweet deals. T is now using a touchscreen Acer smartphone, and I may or may not take over it at some point. It gets Google Maps, which cools my lust for a GPS.

    We also picked up a hard drive there for his mother’s birthday. That all came to nearly $340, of which he paid $200. My share came from one of his friends paying me for one of my extra Metallica tickets.

    Um, and add to that a large amount spent this last week on food (our weekend away) and T’s birthday (again, food, and Halo: Wars) and my clothes shopping. I haven’t spent like this all year, or, quite possibly, ever. Two pairs of shoes plus runners, two skirts, two tops and a handbag. Eek!

    Balance…balance…it’s a tricky one! Living for today while saving for tomorrow.

  • September 30, 2010

    On ink, identity and permanent reminders

    Via weheartit

    One of the next things on BF’s major to-do list is to get another tattoo. Preferably more. Lots more. I’m not a big fan of the idea; I don’t want him to look like a biker or a skinhead and I would like it not to limit him in his career. (Hey, it’s not my own prejudices I’m worried about! It’s unlikely he’ll ever work a desk job, but you never know. He’s already such a formidable physical presence that tats all over his arms will just be the icing on the cake.)

    While I’m not principally opposed to getting inked myself, I just can’t ever imagine what I would want permanently stamped on my body, at no small cost either financially or physically. But lately I’ve been thinking about family and life and tradition and culture and all sorts of heavy things … And one night when I was walking home, I had a revelation: why not get a tattoo of my Chinese name?

    The thought lasted all of a second. While I don’t actually know how to write my birth name in the language, this is not good enough reason to give myself a permanent reminder. The name has little meaning to me. It’s the name on my birth certificate, yes  but it’s not the name I go by on a daily basis. If you called it out to me on the street, I would probably not even blink twice.

    That being said, it’s the name my parents saw fit to give me, which they took the time to choose carefully for their firstborn daughter. Aside from sheer laziness, I think that’s another big reason why I probably will not ever get around to legally changing it to my English name. And I’d like to make some small effort to recognise that today, although I wouldn’t have said that 10, 5 or even a year ago.

    So, here it is: The next time I visit my parents, I’m not leaving until I learn to write my name in Chinese. (Or at the very least, take home a copy of it to stick on my wall. I’m realistic about my abilities.)

  • September 29, 2010

    Thoughts from a first generation immigrant

    Assorted Mooncakes
    Image by ulterior epicure via Flickr

    When I was little, I wanted nothing more than to be white. I wanted to look like everybody else, I wanted to lose my accent, and perhaps most of all, I wanted my parents to act like all the other parents. The kind who would welcome me having friends over to play. Who knew why other kids knocked on our door on Halloween night dressed in all manner of weird costumers – because I didn’t. Who didn’t shop at op shops and garage sales or buy me baby bonnets instead of sporty caps. My parents were by no means stereotypically FOB immigrants, with broken accents, who struggle to catch a bus or dispute a bill. But they were just different enough to set them apart.

    I remember borrowing a cheongsam to wear on Cultural Day in my first year of primary school. I wonder if I looked as awkward as I felt in it From then on, I wore my own jeans and a tee.

    I hated in-class exercises where everyone was urged to get in touch with their heritage. People would look at me and say, “Oh, you’re so lucky, you actually have a culture!” Uh, no, not really. (This is made even more complex by way of hailing from Malaysia but being ethnically Chinese.) We’re not religious, we speak English at home, the extent of our CNY celebrations are gorging on moon cake (the one time of year I halfheartedly lay claim to my heritage). Name a traditional custom or ritual you associate with the Chinese and I’ll probably never even have heard of it. We ate rice almost every day, though. That counts for something, surely.

    And yet, I’m not a total cultural vacuum. Celebrity chef Rick Stein was in Malaysia on his Far Eastern Odyssey this week. Mesmerised by the familiar accents, the hearty laughs, the general conduct of the locals, I watched, entranced, as they whipped up fish head curry and beef rendang. If nothing else, culture, to me, is associated with cuisine. And no matter how long ago, the “aiyahs” and the inability to enunciate the h in “three” still instantly transport me back to a certain place.

    There are things that are going to stop with me, that I won’t pass down to future generations. My kids will have straight English names. They won’t hear their parents talking on the phone in another language, or hear foreign words peppered throughout conversation – random pet terms substituted for English for no real reason, apart from maybe habit. They may occasionally eat dishes featuring strange ingredients like shrimp paste, but most likely they’ll eat steak and pasta and my version of Thai curry.

    That’s okay. Because what’s really important is that they learn to be decent human beings. Hopefully they’ll be intelligent. Not weakling klutzes like me. And ideally semi-attractive, because life is enough of a bitch as it is. But ultimately, as long as they appreciate the importance of hard work, doing right by others and themselves, and grow up with a respect and appreciation for people of all backgrounds.

    Some things may be more prized, where I come from, than they are for others. Family. Pride. Standing on your own two feet. But ultimately, these are values that transcend time, space, and ethnicity.

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