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  • What’s inside my closet

    I set myself a goal at the start of the year: no clothing or beauty purchases in 2012, except in the case of an emergency (ie shoes, because I have so few of them, that need replacing. One of my flats has actually already given up on me, but I’m getting by without).

    That finally spurred me on to do something that’s been on my list for aaaages: a visual catalogue of my wardrobe.

    While shooting every item (which took me weeks, to be quite honest – hence the changing lighting) it felt like I had way more garments than I should.

    Upon putting them all into spreads, though, it started to feel like i should have MORE clothing.

    /shrug

    Jackets, etc

    Cardis

    Tops

    Shorts

    Pants

    Skirts

    Dresses

    Without counting underwear, PJs and the oversized band shirts I slob around in at home/sleep in, that’s 97 garments.

    13 jackets – two long sleeved tops, three hoodies, two blazers, a denim jacket, cropped jacket, waterproof jacket, long cardi and two coats.

    10 cardigans – three cropped cardis, two open cardis, five regular ones

    32 tops – three dressy tops, 11 casual, six work tops,12 nice tops

    7 pairs of shorts – two office-appropriate pairs, two pairs of board shorts, one pair of denim shorts and my running shorts

    13 pairs of pants – five pairs of jeans, one pair of exercise pants, two stripey pairs, three plain pairs and two pairs of blingy black pants

    9 skirts – two denim, one dressy, two long, one that’s a bit too cutesy and three summery ones.

    13 dresses – four formal, four casual, two black work dresses, and three that straddle categories.

    I’m happy with what’s there, which is why I set myself this challenge. My wardrobe is finally starting to reflect me: colours I love, clean lines, a few nice things but mostly unfussy.

    Have you ever done a tally of your wardrobe?

     

  • On compromising in relationships

    Compromise.

    It’s the key to any good relationship.

    But what if you’re poles apart in your thinking?

    Back in my high school health/sex ed class, we were asked what one should do in a situation where one person wants to do a lot more physically than their partner is ready for.

    I don’t remember what the conclusion was, and in fact I’m not sure we actually got around to reaching one.

    Still, it’s an interesting question, no? What if two people in a relationship are at very different stages? What if one wants to move overseas/move in together/have a kid/get married and the other … doesn’t? Is meeting somewhere in the middle the best choice then, if it’s even possible – pressing one beyond their comfort limits while the other is just as dissatisfied?

    It seems to me, from my limited observations, that time fixes everything. Kinda.

    You start with talking it out.

    Then there’s panic and disbelief that you could ever be on the same page given how far apart you stand on matters.

    Then you wait. Wait and think and wash and rinse and repeat.

    Then at some point, it’s crunch time. If said issue is a dealbreaker and neither party’s stance has changed, then one is mostly likely going to walk away.

    Thoughts?

  • Link love (Powered by bay runs and afternoon tea)

    Fun with search terms that brought people here!

    i don’t care

    Good for you! Keep up the attitude.

    as you know shorthand outline

    I’d write it like this. I also had a stab at writing it all in one phrasing on the right, but word groups were never my forte.

    flatting with friends

    That can go either way. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend it, but I’m horrendously antisocial and consider home a place to get away from everyone I know. It works for lots of other (normal?) people. At the very least, choose friends responsible with money who aren’t likely to do drugs or bring random one night stands home.

    eating in vs eating out

    Eating in is definitely cheaper. But I’m a fan of mixing it up.

    why do people flaunt money

    To feel good about themselves?

    how to flaunt your money

    Buy lots of crap. Preferably showy, expensive and outrageous crap. Designer clothes, vehicles, electronics, etc. And buy all the rounds at the bar.

    why is the first step the hardest

    Buggered if I know. I just know it is.

    introverts eye contact energy conservation

    YES. This is what I’m going to use in the future – I’m not looking at you, I need to conserve energy.

    what to give a woman turning 23

    Think less about the age and more about the person.

    paying bills when strapped for money

    I’m assuming you have no financial safety net. That leaves you with finding a way to quickly bring in some extra money, or borrow it. Whatever you do, please build up an emergency fund once you’re over the hump.

    my fiances family is a mess

    i hear you. Stay out of it as much as possible and don’t get sucked in.

    i have a degree in communications now what

    Hopefully you got some internships and work experience under your belt along the way, because experience (and who you know) is what counts. If you were stupid, well, it’s not too late. But seriously. I’m assuming you don’t actually know what you want to do (something you’d ideally have figured out earlier, but oh well). If you can afford to, then do lots of experience at different organisations. If you need to start bringing in money, then you’re stuck taking the first decent job that comes your way, aren’t you? But seriously, all companies need to communicate with customers, stakeholders, the media, etc. I elaborate more on career pathways in communications here.

    And on that note…

    WORK

    Hee hee. Open letter from an English major to marketing majors, at McSweeneys.

    A guide for introverts in ad agencies, but applicable to other workplaces…

    In Bullish this week: Career killers you might not know are killing you.

    10 reasons to have a side business going, by Thousandaire.

    And … Quote of the week. Word.

    “That’s the bargain with interns. Sometimes you invest a bunch of time in them teaching them how to do things that more experienced journalists already know and they give you nothing in return except a headache. If they were employees, you’d fire them, but since they’re not, you just wait to be rid of them. Sometimes they turn out to be brilliant, require minimal oversight and actually help you do your job.” From Forbes.

    LIFE

    At A Practical Wedding: when your husband isn’t your best friend. T and I hung out for a while briefly before we got together, and I’m sure we’d get along just fine at parties and whatnot today if we weren’t, but I don’t think we would be bonafide friends as such. Definitely agree that shared values are key. And I probably would consider him my best friend too, today.

    Be a better person. Here’s how you can change the world, writes Hannah Katy.

    Here are Iowa Girl’s 10 ways to spring clean your life.

    How to prepare ahead of time for when you get sick, via Get Rich Slowly. Too true. We always seem to be out of soup, noodles and Panadol whenever I come down with something.

    Cordelia Calls It Quits on the one and only cure for Mondayitis.

    Is university worth it? You Have More Than You Think has done a pretty huge blogger survey on this topic and presents the results.

    If you ever plan to go on a Serengeti safari, read this post by Moneymate Kate first.

    FOOD

    Lamb meatballs with lemon sauce, at $120 Food Challenge.

    And Swedish Visiting Cake, via Just a Titch.

    Lastly, head over to this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance, hosted by Marissa! This week I share how we make it work as a one car household.

  • On blogging, identity and niches (plus a surprise bonus!)

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately about identity.

    It’s easier than ever these days to invent, or reinvent, yourself.

    I can think of a fair few people – online and in real life – who’ve started going by their first and middle names, or something else entirely.

    To be fair, in an age where your name is increasingly your brand, I can see why. Back when I dreamt, vaguely, of becoming famous somehow, I knew I didn’t have the right kind of name for it. Now of course, I have no interest in fame, and I’ve firmly established my byline with my very unglamorous moniker. Even it wasn’t a bit too late, I don’t know what kind of other name would suit me – perhaps I’m just not imaginative enough.

    And I’ve been thinking about my various footprints online. Between my accounts on all the usual social networking suspects, plus the likes of Quora, Instagram and other, more niche Kiwi sites (to say nothing of the many other social accounts I handle at work), it all adds up to quite a dizzying number.

    The consensus seems to be that one unifying personal brand is the way to go. So no multiple Twitter accounts, for example (something I’ve seen many people attempt to maintain, and fail – or to do poorly, retweeting links constantly from one account on the other, more popular one. Which seems rather, er, pointless).

    This is one area that I’ve actually made work, however. I share very different kinds of content on my bloggy Twitter account, compared with the tweets I send from my other personal account. On one, I chat to blog buddies, share fun links, inspiring links, and of course PF links. One the other, there’s a bit of quirk, there’s a bit of personal stuff, but there’s a lot more industry stuff and serious stuff – news articles and links about social media, communications and journalism. I don’t see a lot of crossover between the two, and unlike, say Google Plus, you can’t segment your updates by follower.

    Which I suppose brings me back to this blog. If the new paradigm is all about a strongly defined, overarching brand and theme, am I painting in too broad strokes here? Do I post too much local content when my readers are overwhelmingly overseas? Is my posting more frequently about books and food (which doesn’t garner many comments, but which I love, and seems to be bringing in new followers) too random for older subscribers?

    But when it comes down to it, building up separate niche blogs from scratch just falls under the too much work category. I’ve seen others succeed, and I’ve seen others fail.

    I’m going to wrap up by doing something I haven’t done on the blog before: sharing links to some neat stories I’ve worked on recently (if I do say so myself). Hopefully you’ll find an interesting read or two!

    Phoenix on the rise – the sharp young lady behind Phoenix Cosmetics, who started the label from scratch and is now known as the eyebrow queen.

    Coworking 2.0 down under – shared spaces are all the rage right now, and collaborative workspaces are popping up all over the show.

    The Go Vocab way with words – these young guys put me to shame with their clever language-learning venture.

    A bootcamp for gaming bootstrappers – it’s never been easier to start working for yourself, and game designers are well placed for entrepreneurship.

    Hapara, bringing classrooms into the cloud – a smart NZ startup blending Google and education, trying their fortunes in the Valley.

     

  • The art of the one car household

    How we get by as a one car household

    I have written about the monumental pain in the ass that is Auckland public transport many times, and touched on what it’s like to get by without a car.

    I have to say, it certainly has been easier since late 2010, when we finally got an automatic car (all our previous vehicles were manual, at T’s discretion, and despite my intentions I never really learned to drive manual properly), and a little more so again last year when we added a motorbike to our arsenal.

    That said, a motorbike is not a second car. You’re at the mercy of the weather (which is temperamental in this city, to say the least, and has been ATROCIOUS this summer). You’re limited to what you can fit under the seat and in a backpack, and while parking is a breeze, you will be stuck carrying around a bulky helmet wherever you go.

    I have always been inclined to think that we will eventually be forced to become a two-car household – either upon buying a house (because we’ll be priced out further into the suburbs than we already are) or having kids.

    But I’ve been inspired by a one-car family I know that lives on the North Shore, with one parent working over this side of the bridge. Heck, if they can make it work…

    I’ve reached a few conclusions about setting up for success at this.

    Plan and communicate like a boss

    I’m a planner. T is the opposite. Good thing, then, that I’m the car-less one. Getting by with one car requires getting to know each other’s schedules and planning all manner of journeys, from trips to the supermarket, parental visits, social engagements, and work functions.

    Live close to one person’s place of employment

    It helps if one person can walk to their workplace, or take public transport. Otherwise, planning gets even more serious, because you’ll have to contend with one person dropping off and picking up the other at the office every day (unless you can wangle a carpool with somebody).

    Having never owned a car of my own, the number one thing on my list when choosing a place to live is proximity to bus routes. I was spoiled growing up; my parents’ house is literally 10 seconds from a bus stop. Since then, the furthest I’ve lived from public transport is a 15-20 minute walk.

    Make sure you have a reliable car

    Cars that don’t start or fail WOFs or break down regularly are stressful enough. When that car is your only mode of transportation, it’s infinitely worse. T and I have always worked in different areas of the city – and his is not one you can get to via public transport, especially at 6 or 7am.

    And on that note…

    Only patronise mechanics where courtesy cars are available

    Or you’ll be forking out a lot of money to rent a car while yours is in the workshop.

    Could you swing it as a one-car household?

  • Review: The Bronze Horseman trilogy

    (I was going through my drafts folder recently and realised I never published this post – even though I wrote this back in 2010. Whoops. Anyway, here it is!)

    Review: The Bronze Horseman trilogy - NZ MuseI’m always a bit late to the party. The Bronze Horseman, after all, is nearly a good 10 years old. But then again, this isn’t the kind of book a 12-year-old would appreciate, so I’m glad I waited.

    I devoured all three books within a week. The gods MUST have been shining down on me. Upon finishing The Bronze Horseman, I decided I absolutely couldn’t start Sophie’s Choice. One, it sounded way too depressing. Two, I ABSOFREAKINGLYLUTELY had to find out what happened to the characters. I mean, I knew they both survived and managed to live. The existence of the trilogy and a little Googling told me that much. But I had to read the story for myself.

    I haven’t come across anyone in real life who hasn’t gushed about The Bronze Horseman, and now I understand why. While I struggled to make it through Paullina Simons’ other most well-known novel, The Girl in Times Square, I stayed up all hours of the night, unable to tear myself away from this.

    As for the two sequels…if you’ve fallen in love with Tatiana and Alexander, then read them. The second I found infinitely more brutal in its depiction of war, and the third – set in free America, as they try to build a life from the ground up – verged on tedious at times. I felt like the story could have ended easily after either the first or second book, but I was glad to be able to follow them through until the very end.

    The Bronze Horseman

    A girl sits on a bench, eating ice cream. Across the road, a soldier watches Tatiana in her white dress with red roses. He is Alexander Belov – or in a previous life, Alexander Barrington, a major in the Red Army. Thus begins their story. Against all odds – the cold, the hunger, the bombs – they take turns saving each other’s lives and attempt to find a way out of hell. A sister who loves the same man she does, a coward determined to bring Alexander down – there is nothing they can’t survive. He brings her food, walks her home from the factory where she now makes weapons and trucks, and gives her a reason to cling on even as her family disintegrates.

    While at times I found her prose overly flowery – especially the parts written from Alexander’s point of view – it was a minor flaw. I also found Tatiana’s stubborness and selflessness incredibly frustrating. It was almost as if she didn’t want happiness for herself. But I think a lot of that has to do with the Russian family structure, and because the strength of the bond between her and Dasha is only hinted at, it was hard to understand her motives.  Despite that, it’s one of the most heartbreaking novels I’ve read in a long time. To me, it epitomised everything a great book should have. Great love and great sacrifice.

    Tatiana and Alexander / The Bridge to Holy Cross

    While TBH is very much Tatiana’s book – the story of her family, her love, her survival – the opposite is true of TBTHC. Alexander is a young American boy thrust into the heart of communist Russia, forced to grow up far too quickly and to fight just to live. From his very first days in the Soviet Union, through to his very last, we learn what made him who he is. In between these flashbacks, we read about his ordeals in battle following straight on from the first book, and later, in various concentration camps.

    Meanwhile, Tatiana is in America, working as a nurse and having given birth to a son named after his father. For much of the book, she doesn’t even know if he’s still alive. She tries to build a new life in New York, and puzzles over the last words he said to her. But once she finds out for sure, she packs her bags and heads back to bring him home. From there, it’s a knuckle-biter right up until the very last page.

    I flew through this one – it wasn’t an easy read and I didn’t want to linger on it. The thought of of a countryside where millions of bodies lie buried in shallow graves just below the ground… Simons writes as one not far removed from this reality.

    The Summer Garden

    I was apprehensive going into this – there were so many bad reviews, and honestly, it didn’t sound like the most enticing of plots. The jacket blurb is downright cringeworthy. It’s a far cry from the first two; Tatiana and Alexander are not in a war zone anymore, but they are dealing with their baggage and memories, and trying to adjust to living a ‘normal’ life and fighting over mundane things as well as the big issues – like his war-torn body and inability to forget the atrocities of the Gulag. The inability of these two, who’ve lived through the most unimaginable atrocities, to be unable to communicate about the simplest of things is beyond frustrating. And if you loved Alexander in the first two like I did, he will break your heart in this.

    Pacewise, TSG is very slow and suffers from poor editing. At 800-plus pages, there ‘s plenty that could have been cut. I loved reading about their travels and efforts to settle in America, but it simply got repetitive after a few chapters. Flashbacks to Tatiana’s childhood offer more insight into her personality, but left me wondering just how much of a purpose they served.

    One review suggested reading to the end of the Vietnam section, then skipping ahead to the last chapter.  (Yes, of course there’s war in this book, too! I have learned more about 20th century conflict this week than I ever retained in three years of taking history as a subject. It is insane how willing people are to die for a cause…and how many more died unwillingly as a result. Reading about real historical events – even if fictionalised – is somehow different from, say, reading Brave New World or 1984. Burning books. Throwing away mirrors. Leaving the dead on the streets. Ears of the state everywhere. All powerful state. Eating sawdust.) And it’s not a bad idea. I don’t think it’s spoiling anything to say that there’s a thoroughly misplaced chapter devoted to Cold War debate that simply does not belong in the book. Thankfully, of course they do – eventually – manage to heal and to give us the happy ending we want.

    And handily enough, you can buy the whole trilogy as a set!

  • On fear

    Not long ago, a woman was brutally assaulted and raped in the grounds of a high school that I nearly went to, and that lots of my peers attended. In broad daylight.

    That led my dear mother to voice concern about the walkway that I take everyday on the way to work and back. It’s a path that winds over a creek, through bush, behind a school field, and that’s generally well away from main roads. It’s reasonably well frequented, however – by mothers with prams, runners, elderly people and schoolkids.

    As a woman – and particularly a small and physically weak one – I know I’m vulnerable.

    But I refuse to be cowed. I refuse to live my life in a permanent state of fear.

    Did we stop flying after 9/11?

    Do we give up driving after being hit by speeding drivers?

    There is good fear – fear of the worst case scenario that leads us to make plan B

    Fear of failure can go both ways – it can act as a motivator, or a paralyser.

    There’s social fear, something I know all too well and generally does no good.

    Fear of taking a leap into the unknown.

    And there are plenty more types of fear – you probably have a few close to your heart.

    There is caution, and then there is being afraid to live your life. It can be dangerous out there – that’s a fact – but the “scary world syndrome” reinforced by news coverage of crimes may raise our blood pressure levels unnecessarily.

    Attacks can happen to anyone. One of T’s good friends was badly assaulted while walking home one night from our apartment a few years ago.  He’s not big but is fierce and I’ve heard enough stories about him prevailing in fights at drunken parties – he can defend himself. Still, one person against a group has no chance.

    While I appreciate Mum’s concern, I’m not going to nearly double my daily journey just to stick to the main roads. After all, that’s no guarantee of safety either.

    I used to walk alone a lot in the dark. I worked well past sunset, and would walk home from the bus stop around 9pm (later sometimes). At our most recent abode, I often – not always – took a shortcut through a park with no lighting, even though it only saved me a couple of minutes. I probably wouldn’t do that today.

    I think it really boils down to this: avoid taking unnecessary risks. Nothing in life comes without an element of risk. Be smart about where you gamble.

  • The long road to reaching your goals

    Today marks the end of Women’s Money Week. I’m so chuffed to have made their Ultimate Blogger list – the highlight of my blogging journey to date for sure (except maybe the time I was nominated for Best International Personal Finance Blog).

    Confession: I’m currently teetering on the brink of another of my mini 20-something crises. For those of you with concrete and definite goals, though … push past the initial doubts and surge of fear. Nothing worth having comes easy, and if you really, truly want to make something happen, I promise you can.

    If you’re not happy with the life you’re leading, take a step back. Take time to reflect and articulate where you want to be, and work out how you’re going to get there. And maybe you’ll decide you’re not ready to take the next step yet – maybe the unhappiness isn’t outweighing the good right now – but if the balance tips, then you know what to do.

    Okay, I’ll bite. I’m thinking about leaving the country – either for a bit of a travel break, or to Australia for a while. I’ve talked about why I don’t think extended travel is for me before, but the itch is growing stronger. I’ve also talked about my lack of interest in a typical Kiwi OE, but if either T or I could land a decent job across the ditch (no visa requirements for NZ citizens) I think a change of scenery could do us good. Just little ideas brewing, for now…

    There’s been a bit of a backlash in the blogosphere recently against the concept of goals. I understand, and agree with, the argument against this new age where there’s a constant push for self improvement by a spate of happy shiny blogs (lifestyle design bloggers, mummy bloggers, etc) that lead us all to believe that everyone lives these magazine-spread perfect existences, when that’s simply not true. Life is hard, life is ugly – we all have relationship problems, health problems, money problems, even if we don’t broadcast them to the world on our blogs. This can be unhealthy. But blogs, like magazines, only tell part of the story. We know models get Photoshopped. And it should be obvious too, that our blogs only reflect certain aspects of our lives.

    But goals keep you moving, keep you hustling. Without a plan, it’s that much harder to get where you’re going – if you even know where that is.

    In my mind, the key is narrowing it down to the ones that really matter – zeroing in on the few priorities that really burn you up. Take it from someone who has a bunch of disparate interests: spreading yourself too thin results in burnout. If you really want to succeed, this is not the time to be a jack of all trades; this is the time to focus.

    And remember, the first step is always the toughest – but it gets easier from there on.

    This post is part of Women’s Money Week 2012. For more posts see the Goals and Taking Action Roundup

  • Link love (Powered by feta cheese and an afternoon at the races)

    I’ve been a fan of MP Dunleavey since her MSN Money Days, and I’ve been signed up to Dailyworth’s daily alerts since about the start of the year.

    I have to say, I was disappointed when it came to open auditions for their Money Fix project.

    Enter if you’re saving for: a wedding, baby, home renovation or to pay off debt.

    Really?

    Career and financial advice for women is so painfully stereotypical on the whole already. I understand the need to have some formula for this installment, but how about saving for a big travel goal? To pay for a car in cash? To start your own business?

    Anyway. To the links!

    MONEY

    Be sure to check out this week’s carnival of personal finance; Sense to Save has done an awesome job of it, and my post on reaching budgeting nirvana is in there too.

    There’s a really interesting series at the Guardian, Voices of Finance – anonymous interviews with people who work in the banking industry.

    My Journey To Millions on the importance of knowing your ‘monthly nut’ – your regular fixed costs.

    Deena Dollars is the aunt you want. Here, she lays out how she plans to help pay for her brother’s offspring to get to university.

    How to spend your money after graduation, by, well, Money After Graduation.

    WORK

    Invest It Wisely asks: Where do you get shit done? (When it comes to sitting down and writing longer features, I’m most productive at home – so on print deadlines every other month I try to head home early on a few days to hammer stories out)

    At Fearful Adventurer, a reader asks for advice on quitting a career in accounting for taking a stab at boxing.

    LIFE

    I really enjoyed Ashley’s post, How to make people like you.

    Isaac Likes on what it’s really like to move to New York from New Zealand.

    FOOD

    Some neat ideas for cooking with eggplant, thanks to Eats by Anna.

    THIS. A ton of lunch ideas that don’t involve sandwiches at Stonesoup.

    Poor Girl Eats Well on farmer’s markets and government food assistance (here you just get paid money and buy your own food – no stamps, no restrictions).

    Happy weekends, all!

  • Adventures in the kitchen: A week of salads

    Fruit salad

    Ingredients

    • watermelon
    • oranges
    • apples
      (all in equal amounts)
    • yoghurt
    • mint
    • French vanilla ice cream

    Cut up into roughly equal chunks and mix in a bowl. Drizzle yoghurt (we sweetened ours with a pinch of icing sugar) over, then garnish with mint. Serve with scoop/s of ice cream. Devour.

    Roast veggie salad with yoghurt dressing

    Here’s a stripped down version of a recipe from Dish magazine.

    Ingredients

    • half an eggplant
    • a roughly equal amount of courgettes
    • half an onion (ideally red but I went with white)
    • yoghurt
    • a dash of lemon juice
    • coriander
    • minced garlic

    Roast veggies until soft. Blend some yoghurt with a dash of lemon juice, minced garlic and coriander, adjusting to taste. Serve over the veggies!

    Tuna, egg and veggie salad

    And another Dish-inspired one. Super easy my way!

    Ingredients

    • can of tuna
    • two eggs
    • a couple of tomatoes
    • a small courgette
    • some coriander
    • a dash of red wine vinegar
    • a dash of olive oil
    • garlic salt
    • pepper

    Grill tomatoes and courgettes (I chunked the tomato but went for long slices of courgette). Then toss everything together. Done!

    Bacon and avocado salad


    Ingredients

    • one avocado
    • two bacon slices
    • a couple of tomatoes
    • a handful of lettuce
    • some cucumber slices
    • garlic salt
    • pepper

    Grill bacon. Cut everything else up and toss together!

    Chickpea salad

    Ingredients

    • can of chickpeas
    • a couple of tomatoes
    • one spring onion
    • a quarter of a cucumber
    • garlic salt
    • olive oil
    • lemon juice

    Dice and mix all the veggies. Drizzle over a squeeze of lemon juice and olive oil. Yum.