Browsing tag: blogging

Just the other day on LinkedIn I saw that an old friend had a new freelance role at an agency in New York.

It’s been years and years now since we pored over Harvard scholarship application forms in her room, convinced she was going to become a criminal lawyer down the track. Me, I thought I wanted to go to Columbia like my favourite fictional character, Jessica Darling.

How things change. 

Another friend is moving to New York next month and while I’m super excited for her – and envious of all the amazing food she’s going to get to eat all the time  – I couldn’t help but feel a bit parochial when we turned to discussing my career and what I want out of the next few years. For the perfect opportunity, I’d be happy to go overseas for a stint (though the headache of having to find a place to live and set up all the elements of a new life is a daunting prospect). But the odds of something like that actually coming to ME  is, shall we say, unlikely.

I live a small life, I know. In a small country at the bottom of the world. Expat friends are doing cool things in exciting cities abroad, but of course that comes with a tradeoff – a degree of financial security (because I hang with creatives, not lawyers and bankers).

I also have a good career here – I’ve had the privilege of working for great companies in great roles that I really care about – and it would be tougher to continue that overseas. Big fish, small pond…

This week’s links:

I had to laugh at these 10 tips for Japanese tourists visiting the US

20 Years Hence interviewed me about two of my favourite things in the world: food and travel

Even if you aren’t an engineer in Silicon Valley, this post is full of job hunt nuggets and interesting anecdotes (and the FizzBuzz part had me shuddering in recollection of the time i tried to learn Javascript through Codecademy)

A thought provoking post on interracial friendships

Manda reflects on what it was like to lose her father at a young age

Some unorthodox ways to scope out a new neighbourhood

Think twice about these things before starting your own business 

Whenever I get annoyed about the rain or lack of Mexican food here and ask myself why we don’t live in California already, I manage to stumble across something like this … or Scandal reminds me that politics is influenced by the gun lobby  … or I see a LinkedIn blog post that reminds me US employers don’t have to give staff any paid time off. (Also: jobs, family, friends.)  America, I know you can do better!

Goddamn, the human spirit is an amazing thing. This powerful story just got nominated for an award, which is how I found out about it. Masterful use of the second person – I hope it wins. (And the PF nerd in me rejoiced in the paragraph that talks about his retirement account, good credit and platinum card.)

Lastly, I just finished a freelance feature on the basics of personal finance, and changed a line in my author bio from ‘believes that money buys happiness’ to the noncontroversial ‘money buys peace of mind’. But I truly believe money DOES buy happiness, for all the reasons Revanche points out. Too many people say they’d rather be poor and in love than rich and alone without actually having experienced it. I’ve been broke and coupled up and it nearly sank the relationship. I haven’t experienced being rich and alone but I suspect I would prefer it (of course, YMMV, depending on your personality and need for security).

Okay, it’s not quite five years on from when I wrote this post, but when I randomly stumbled across it while previewing a post I was working on, I decided now was the time to revisit it. Odds are I might not remember to check back in 8 months’ time…

So, here’s my 2009 vision for my life five years later, compared with reality:

1. What time do you wake up, and how are you feeling as you greet the day? I’m up at 7, feeling energised (More like 8am these days. YESSS.)

2. Where are you? If you’re at home, what does it look like? In my own house (maybe a Lockwood) with big kitchen, walkin pantry, garage, ensuite bathroom and decent sized closet (Nowhere near. We do have a lot of storage space here, though)

3. Who is with you? T. Maybe a pet (preferably a cat, but more likely a puppy if T has his way) (Still renting, no pets. T’s still around; we did get married after all)

4. What kind of work are you doing? (if you have no idea what kind of work you’ll be doing or want to be doing, list the qualities you want to find in the work you do and the kind of work environment you want.) I’m in the prime of my career, as a subeditor or a web editor, in an airy, sunny open plan office. I work in a friendly, supportive team and regularly have lunch with coworkers (Pretty much bang on)

5. As you head out to face the day, how do you look? What are you wearing? I look polished and effortless (ha!) I am wearing nice jeans with a shirt and flats, because the office environment is fairly casual. (Okay, the first part was always a bit of wishful thinking, but again, bang on!)

6. How do you get to work? Walk (Oooh, this was true up until we went overseas, then came back and moved! Weird that I said this back then – to be honest, I don’t imagine I’ll ever be able to walk to work again in the future.)

7. When you’re done with work, how will you spend you spare time and with whom? What activities do you enjoy? With T. I’ll bake, catch up on blogs, watch some TV or a movie. I enjoy photography, playing guitar, travel. (Still into the books and movies and blogging. Other stuff, less so)

8. What is your evening like? I might catch up with friends at one of our houses for a few hours – lots of laughs, maybe a silly retro boardgame, good food. (I’ll be honest – I remember writing that and thinking that in all truth, I’d rather just chill at home, but was a bit reluctant to admit it. And that’s usually how it does go.)

9. When you go to bed that night, how are you feeling after spending the day doing exactly what you love? Contented and fulfilled. Glad that it’s nearly the weekend. (Yep, life’s pretty good.)

10. What are you most grateful for and what are you looking forward to as you go to sleep? T, a warm house, great job and good food. (Ditto.)

How does your life match up with your ambitions from five years ago?

This week’s links

WORK/CAREER

A sobering tale of freelancing and the strange state of media today (I felt rather guilty upon reading the quote describing the freelancer/editor relationship, but it is on the money)

Over at Get Rich Slowly: Overwork and the illusion of high paying jobs

A most excellent and comprehensive guide to career planning and progression, over at Fast Company 

Mashable lists 10 questions to ask if you’re interviewing for a startup job

This Toast essay on making art and failing is equal parts beautiful and painful

MONEY

The Simple Dollar realises that poverty is not a simple problem to solve

Well Heeled Blog reflects on the things she used to think she needed 

Tiny Apartment Design on being surrounded by rich people

LIFE, etc

Michelle from Fit is the New Poor used Taskrabbit help to pull off a birthday surprise for her husband (the first I’ve ever heard of anyone using the site that  way!)

Some things you probably didn’t know about Japanese food, from Ever in Transit

Untemplater shares her best hard-learned travel tips

A few clever ways to preserve your travel memories, via Yes and Yes

Oh good, I’m not the only one out there who only washes my bras every few weeks – thanks Corporette. How about you? (DON’T JUDGE ME!) 

Curating great reads is one of my hobbies, as regular readers know (when was the last time I missed a weekly Link Love?) and doing it for a blog carnival is extra fun.

You might’ve noticed the new look, trimmed down carnival over the past few weeks. IMO, it’s definitely a good thing, as focusing on quality is always a savvy move … and speaking of which, being savvy about money is definitely a common theme this week:

Blogs are where I’ve picked up most of my (limited) financial knowledge, but sometimes it’s hard to beat a good book. Miranda at Prairie Eco Thrifter shares five books that changed her outlook on money and Harry at Your PF Pro reviews The Big Short, packing in some of his own reflections about Wall St, investing and greed vs stupidity.

I’m grateful to have a job I genuinely adore (I might have to pen a post on that…) although Mr. 4HWD argues that work is a lot more fun when you don’t have to work (I’m sure!) while Krant Cents asks if you work to live or live to work.

Are you getting a tax refund? If so, both Monica on Money and The Broke Professional suggested some smarter ways to spend your windfall.

Growing up can involve some painful lessons. For starters, you need to get these 5 documents in order, courtesy of Stay at Home Economics, and like Natalie you might have a student loan to contend with, or you might find yourself in the middle of an unsettling encounter with a stranger demanding money ala Emily from Evolving Personal Finance.

Let’s wrap it up on a positive note! In the quest for financial success, Adam from Stop Worrying About Money reminds us to focus on small steps. Start by pledging to Do 1% Better. It doesn’t get more manageable than that.

Get in on the action at carnivalofpersonalfinance.com next week.

I like to think that overall I do a good job of playing the role of functioning adult, the kind who contributes to society and all that kind of thing. I was pleased to find that as I read through Adulting last month, I had a lot more ‘yes, I know! Wish I’d had this book five years ago’ moments than ‘damn, how have I made it this far without knowing this?’ moments.

But now I must confess to some things I do not understand and probably never will.

People (particularly renters) who wish to paint their walls. I dunno, I guess I’m not into decor at all, and I grew up with soulless white walls and never gave it a second thought.

People who actually clean baseboards, corners, and under/behind the deep dark depths of large furniture (beds, couches, whiteware). How do I become one of you? (Never mind – it’s never going to happen)

People who eat raw vegetables. Ick.

People who instinctively know what flavours go together and how to fix mediocre/bad dishes. I think it was Eddie van Halen (correct me if I’m wrong, anyone who knows!) who once said that he did not see the frets on his guitar, but rather, musical notes and scales. That, to me, is witchery. Or mastery. I don’t know. Either way, I don’t have it, either in music or in cooking. That said, I’ve learned that salt fixes a LOT of things. I recall ‘tasting’ food for my mum as a kid; she’d always ask if it was salty enough. My immature tastebuds never really knew. Nowadays, I’m a little more sophisticated.

This week’s links

Things I wish someone had told me before I turned 20 – This is so much better than anything you’ll read on Thought Catalog (so by now they may well have republished it)

I personally think the ‘live every day as if it’s your last’ mantra is total crap, so loved Wandering Earl’s thoughtful post: Is it really possible to live life to the fullest? Comments are great too)

“Because I have grown children who aren’t doing time and a car that runs, I am often asked for advice” – An excellent and often amusing piece on our general reluctance to accept others’ advice

Paying off debt is sexy and saving is safe but both are essential, says Girl Meets Debt

Little Miss Moneybags talks work/life balance: These are seasons of my life, and that’s what balance looks like to me – focusing on one aspect of my life at a time. I like that and think it’s very true – you can’t have everything all at once. Balance is a long term thing that ebbs and flows over time, rather.

Thought provoking – are backpackers destroying the world? 

Eyes on the Dollar asks how far we should go in pursuit of impossible dreams

Love the sentiment in this post about how much we should earn in our 20s

12 ways to overcome cost objections from clients, at Make a Living Writing

A Yes and Yes true story starring someone who decided to legally change her name

Leo Baubata on what he’s learned about writing

Some things you should never say to an Asian woman

Finally, I ADORE this post about one woman’s journey to deciding whether or not to change her name. I hate that we feel we have to justify our decision to ourselves and others, either way. I hated that after my wedding, a coworker asked me what my married name was, and when I responded that it was the same name I’d always had, that she kept bugging me about what it *would* have been if I’d changed it. I know she was just curious, but I found that irritating and intrusive, especially since we were right next to my (male) boss at his desk. And in all fairness, I also felt bad for her that she then went on to explain why she changed her name – I hate that she felt she needed to ratify her choice.

I’d made this far in life without ever needing to get stitches, so I was pretty bummed to hear that getting my wisdom teeth out would result in some.

Feeling my dentist sew up my gums was definitely one of the weirdest parts of the whole process. I could feel the cold needle inside my mouth, but nothing else. It probably wasn’t quite as disturbing as the numerous crunching sounds that emerged over the hour I spent in the chair as they drilled, cut, and yanked at my stubborn teeth.

As he promised, there was no pain during the extraction. Hallelujah! I closed my eyes and tried to play relaxing songs in my mind. They rubbed on a numbing gel, waited for it to kick in, then I felt the prick of the injection as they gave me my anaesthetic (which was slightly painful, but once that was done I was totally oblivious).

There WAS a lot of pressure and tugging, and strain in keeping my yob stretched open for all that time (I have a small mouth and I could tell it made his job difficult). It was also very hard to resist the urge to swallow, and I kept swallowing every few minutes – I just couldn’t help myself. I know the chemicals they use are safe, but I am totally grossed out to think about how much of my own blood I probably swallowed.

Because there was a TON of blood. I bled for hours after and went through all the gauze they gave me. Even weirder, I bled a bit out another (female) body part for a few days afterward – am wondering if it was the drugs I was taking afterwards. The antibiotics didn’t taste bad going down, but the codeine was foul. The afterpain wasn’t as bad as I’d worried … Maybe I was lucky, but I really can’t stress how much less worse it was than I’d feared it would be. The way it seemed to go was that I’d have a couple of really good days, then the pain would flare up a little, then leave me alone for another couple of days.

No, the hardest part was the eating restrictions. I was basically hungry all week because I could only eat soft foods and couldn’t really chew. I burn through food fast and have a large appetite, so this was TOTALLY UNCOOL.

It’s one week on, and I’ve heard that some people are in pain for a full month after – but I just had my stitches taken out, and today’s the first day I didn’t take any painkillers at all. So fingers crossed that won’t be me!

This week’s links

Perplexing, infuriating and unforgettable – Adventurous Kate recounts her time in Brunei

I love every single sentence in this post about work and fulfilment. Go and read it immediately

Meanwhile, the comments on this one about passion and long term relationships are fascinating (better than the post) 

Stefanie reminds us that making progress is always a slow slog

Leslie on why having goals can hurt you

Over at Budget and the Beach, the cost of living in paradise (aka Hawaii)

I couldn’t agree more with Figuring Money Out – put yourself first, because no one else will

Here is an interesting discussion about crafting your career narrative (the subject of an upcoming post here…)

Savings means nothing – it’s investing that matters, says Afford Anything

As Cash Cow Couple point out, you can determine how much value you place on something by how much time you allocate toward it

And I was in the latest carnival of personal finance discussing the business of car sales

Something I’ve learned over the past few years is that Indian weddings vary widely. Every single one I’ve been to has been different – customs vary between region and country, and the celebrations I attended last month for one of my high school friends were particularly amusing because she’s the most Westernised of our group. Much like I eyerolled my way through a brief tea ceremony the day before my wedding, she endured all the rituals without really knowing what was going on or what to expect.

I wonder what the next generation of weddings will look like. As we discussed with some of their parents, as time goes on, those customs get amended or diluted. Traditions are forgotten, not passed down, or simply fall by the wayside in modern times. My friends all married within their culture, but who knows – their kids may well end up in interracial marriages. Indian wedding rituals are so beautiful, lively, and colourful, though, that even blended with others, I’m sure they will be spectacular no matter what.

Links I loved this week include: 

A bunch of RTW bloggers break down their budgets (and predictably get slammed for spending too much in the comments – YAWN)

Here are 12 apps you need to download before travelling Europe

The perks of travelling with the love of your life

There’s a difference between livable vs visitable cities (Auckland is definitely the former)

A tale of trying to buy property in Auckland (for non-Aucklanders: Kelston is supposedly an up-and-coming suburb but has never quite made it and probably never will; and most houses are sold by auction)

Should Budget and the Beach leave LA? Weigh in here

Here’s how to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a single 30-something

And 28 things Lindsay’s parents taught her about love

This chart explains why you have nothing to wear

Stephany articulates SO MUCH about what I experience as an introvert

Fuzzy about what rape culture is? Me too, so read this

I too was more influenced by real-life beautiful girls at school than models in the media

But on that note, I’m feeling a bit let down by our usually awesome national airline – asking people to work for free and going the swimsuit model advertising route – is it a coincidence that all these things happened after former CEO Rob Fyfe’s departure?

Why you should work harder on yourself than  your job

Design Sponge explains how the blogging world has changed, including the fact that commenting died in 2013, or at least took a big hit, and how generally our internet consumption changing. Food for thought for both my day job and hobby…

Finally, apparently American universities are moving away from the roommate model (intriguing – we don’t really have this in NZ – I think at uni halls you get your own room, usually? That said most people share a house/flat as adults and it’s rare to live alone – we have very few apartments)

Happy weekends!

Ah yes. I’d forgotten how prone T is to inconvenient accidents (be it horsing around with friends/extreme playfighting/sports/mosh pits). It was only a matter of time.

It’s just a shame he had to go sprain his leg on a Friday (weekends are the big sales days) and before he had any sick leave.

(For anyone who cares: last year we visited a trampoline park in California, where we a) got tired after about 10 minutes and b) were bored by all the rules and regulations – thanks, litigation-happy Americans! – and the over-watchful staff. Then last week his friends went along to a local trampoline park on a Friday night, one that was a lot more chilled out, as you might expect. Only he apparently had a bad landing after a flip and wound up in A&E.)

So while we’ve seen each other a lot more than usual this week, we were basically holed up at home rather than being able to get out and about. Ah well, the weather has been temperamental this week anyway.

Also, can I say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who gave me advice the other day. The best thing about blogging is the people, and I clearly have freakishly smart readers. <3 For anyone who’s also socially awkward and wondering how to be a good role model to young relatives who need one, head over and read the comments on this post.

To the links!

I took part in a Q&A about exploring NZ by campervan over on Null N Full

Forget about finding motivation (it’s not Where’s Waldo) and build systems instead, says Ramit Sethi

Sarah shares a few ideas to liven up your old blog posts (the first suggestion is bang on – had to laugh at how perfectly she described my own early days of blogging) and to be a happy traveller

Save Spend Splurge explains how fashion bloggers make money

Kate struggles with asking for help from friends

Finally, here’s The Awl on a macabre yet fascinating topic – cadavers. Now I definitely want to give my body to science. It’s funny how your stance on issues like this can change over time. I can’t tell you when exactly I started to find the idea of being embalmed and buried incredibly creepy, but at some point my inclination moved to cremation and eventually to the greater good. And it’s the same with other things; my thoughts on cheating, feminism and other things have evolved with age too.

Guys, it’s February. I don’t even know how that happened.

But 2014 hasn’t been too shabby so far. Things could always be better, but I’m not complaining. How’s it been for you?

It’s been a busy blogging week around here. I guest posted over at Null N Full about life in New Zealand (and hosted a guest post by her on her top 5 impressions of Aotearoa) as well as at Enemy of Debt about frugal travel hacks that have backfired on me.

Also, thanks to Figuring Money Out, who included my RTW budget recap in this week’s carnival of personal finance

To the rest of the links!

I always enjoy Her Every Cent Counts’ insights into startup life, and this week’s glimpse into SaaS biz specifically was a gem

Lindsay just wants to meet a normal, well-adjusted guy – but apparently that’s a tall ask

Jessica dropped $7k on travel and hasn’t even got a lousy shirt to show for it 😛

Carol Tice sheds the light on a lucrative freelance niche most writers overlook

On Brazen Careerist: You’re mediocre, and here’s what to do about it

This is a poignant tale about the misery of job hunting, in which an interviewer took pity on the narrator and gave her money to go and buy a suit. I must admit I do enjoy that thrilling world of possibility that you get a glimpse into when you browse job listings, but actually having to job search? NOT FUN. Also, I’ve never owned a suit and hope that never changes 

The Atlantic explains the lives of 27-year-olds, in charts

Hilarious and mostly true (YMMV)! The unwittingly attractive things men do

This couple has travelled for 13 years with their kids – definitely not my jam, I wouldn’t be comfortable with such an unstable existence (they rely a LOT on the kindness of strangers) but kudos to them

Probably more relevant for the rest of us: Buzzfeed’s 9 unconventional ways to travel (many of which I’ve done)

Scandinavia has never held much appeal for me as a place to live (mainly due to the climate, how depressing would a winter there be?!) so this look at the downsides of this region in Europe had me hooked

As for the downsides of living in NZ, if you’re a regular here, you’ll know I’ve covered them over and over again. That said, this Twitter thread from my stream this week was too good not to share…

Dear American republicans who want to move to NZ. We still have socialised medicine and gun control and you can’t sue for damages. Welcome!

— paulbrislen (@paulbrislen) January 29, 2014

@paulbrislen @DaChadUnleashed Did they just pick the furthest place away on the map and figure we’d be insular as fuck or…? — Hayley Heartbreak (@HayleyHeartbrk) January 29, 2014

@paulbrislen Perhaps these Republicans could move to Canada instead. Oh wait — Trish Anderson (@rambling_shrew) January 29, 2014

.@paulbrislen And no cap gains tax, top marginal tax rate 33%, gay marriage, decent civil liberties….

— Eric Crampton (@EricCrampton) January 29, 2014

@EricCrampton @paulbrislen we’re also irreligious and foul mouthed.

— Stephen Judd (@saniac) January 29, 2014

There were many more – the full conversation is here.

While I await the return of Scandal, I’ve been busy bingeing on House of Lies. It’s super addictive, with its snappy dialogue and over the top characters. And the corporate awfulness! There are so many terrible bosses and coworkers portrayed on this show – are these people for real? The neurotics, the power hungry players, the earnest religious types, the mercurial, possibly bipolar boss … and the vomit-inducing, mealy-mouthed corporatespeak about company values and other such tosh.

Of the offices I’ve worked in (a typical professional services SME full of family men, then moving into media: a super femme office full of glamorous women, and two more in-between workplaces with a good mix of generally good sorts) most of my colleagues have been relatively normal, the only annoyances over the years being two mildly incompetent coworkers and one irritating slacker. Certainly none who made my life a total misery or made me dread work. Have I just been lucky? Is it one of the fringe benefits of non-corporate life?

Management consulting as a whole has always been a intriguing beast for me, and House of Lies suggests it may be just as BS as it sounds. (I know it’s a TV show, but it IS based on a book.)

Speaking of BS… check out this first person tale of greed and excess from a former Wall Streeter

Slate explains why ‘following your passion’ is a privilege afforded only to a certain class and actually devalues real work (thumbs up to that – see my previous posts Can we all realistically expect to love our jobs? and The job-you-wake-up-excited-for propaganda)

As I suspected, this is why so many Germans travel (just visit Auckland during summertime…)

Here’s a charming account of committing to rebuilding a broken hometown – Why I bought a house in Detroit for $500 – possibly the best thing Buzzfeed’s ever published

I also enjoyed Allergic to America, though it is a bit of an indictment on American food and work culture

A totally raw and touching post on Jezebel about dealing with depression through pregnancy and beyond

On the Billfold, a revealing interview with someone whose parents barely worked (they didn’t have to), which obviously affected her own outlook on careers and the meaning of a job

A new to me blog: The Constant Wanderings on the meaning of travel (“I had to travel to realise that I didn’t have to travel to travel”)

Ask a Manager shared a great example of how to demonstrate passion for your work in a job interview for non-bubbly types (*raises hand*)

A nifty guide to troubleshooting your WordPress blog, for when things go awry

Some basic rules and example layouts for DIY graphic design (it’s about wedding invitations but the same guidelines apply to all design in general IMO!)

Finally, I adored this post from Untemplater about the impermanence of everything in life.

Happy weekends!