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  • Carnival of Personal Finance #358: Anzac edition

    Roll up, roll up. Welcome one and all to this week’s carnival of personal finance!

    This week’s a short one for me – it’s cleaved neatly in half by Anzac Day.

    For those not familiar with Anzac Day, it’s a national holiday commemorating our soldiers who fought at Gallipoli during WWI.

    They fought for a mission, a cause larger than any single one of them.

    While most of us will never be part of something on that level, we are united in a common journey – that’s what this carnival is all about! We’re all on a quest to achieve financial savvy, stability and independence. And as always, here are the links to the best of this week’s writing to prove it.

    Editor’s Picks

    Should kids have to take a minimum wage job when they’re teens? Nicole, Maggie, and the grumpy readership weigh in on whether grunt work is worth it. (My general feeling is that unless they’re genuinely tied up with other things – Olympic training, practising for a performance at Carnegie Hall, prepping for early entry to uni or other pursuits at that level, why not?)

    Want to pick up your blogging game? Here are 12 tactics to build up a money-making blog, via The Financial Blogger. (I have a post tomorrow on why I’m doing the exact opposite.)

    Eric from Narrow Bridge Finance explains why he hates bad tippers. (We pay our hospo staff a living minimum wage. I’m very glad tipping is not part of our culture, though most places now have tip jars – and the higher-end places usually offer an option to add on a tip when you pay by Eftpos.)

    Some fees just can’t be avoided. Boomer & Echo presents 10 Fees that are actually worth it. (Sometimes it pays to pay for a privilege.)

    According to the Weakonomist there are only six kinds of employees. (I’m fortunate to work with great people – that’s such an important element when it comes to a satisfying work environment.)

    Career

    MISSION: Rock the search, the work and the exit.

    There’s been a lot of brouhaha over employers asking for Facebook passwords. Obviously these are a very select few. Still, Glen Craig from Free From Broke presents Should You Give Human Resources Access to Your Facebook Profile?

    Some jobs are downright awful. Everyone’s heard stories about people who stuck it to their employer and stormed out of the office. Jeremy from Modest Money presents Avoid Burning Your Bridges, and reminds us why that should always be a lst resort.

    Credit

    MISSION: Minimise charges, maximise rewards

    Apparently there’s a new credit card fee making a resurrection. Beware!, Matt Schulz from InvestingAnswers.com says.

    And on a similar note, Liana from Card Hub presents Get Ready For More Credit Card Fees – watch out for offers that require you to pay a fee before your account is even open.

    What do you really know about credit cards? John from Wallet Blog presents 6 Fun Facts about Credit Cards.

    We’ve all heard the typical advice for a healthy credit score: Pay your bills on time. Don’t max out your credit cards. Don’t close your oldest accounts. But the problem is, this advice is just that: typical. Bethy from Credit Karma Blog presents 4 Ways to Get a Better Credit Score Now.

    Debt

    MISSION: Kill it

    Ryan Yates from Deliver Away Debt presents The Fine Line of Debt Refinancing – Rescue vs. Ruin, and says, “Talking with a bank is a lot like being on a first date; if you don’t shave your financial legs, you won’t let them get too far the first time you meet.”

    Danesh Parhar from The Financial Rebellion says there’s more to worry about debt than just the amount of debt you have – consider the monthly payment.

    In Debt Consolidation Programs, Ben from ReadyForZero Blog explains the different types of debt consolidation available.

    Finance

    MISSION: Forewarned is forearmed

    The Pareto principle states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes (or effort). FMF from Free Money Finance suggests you should 80-20 Your Finances, too.

    Since the GFC, the US government has increased the insurance limits on deposits. Jim from Bargaineering elaborates further in FDIC Limits.

    Frugality

    MISSION: Do more with less

    Hosting people can be expensive (and exhausting). Amanda from My Dollar Plan presents How to Host Out-of-Town Guests Without Breaking the Bank.

    Babies are a blessing, but they are also a target for materialism. Don’t get sucked in, warns Everything Finance! Here are some Baby Essential Costs You Can Skip.

    What’s a good car to own in your 20s? Green Panda from Green Panda Treehouse presents Best Cars for College Graduates to Drive.

    Don’t be foiled by food labels. Sandy from Yes, I am Cheap presents Food Labels And Terms That Fool You.

    In Buy Current Technology, Not State of the Art, Ryan at yourlifeforless says it’s important to focus on your needs, and avoid buying state of the art technology just for the sake of it.

    Jason from Live Real, Now reminds us in Be Happy with What You Have that it’s not possible to buy happiness, either directly or indirectly, through the accumulation of “stuff”.

    Once upon a time, the two-income household was virtually unheard of. Justin from The Family Finances asks, Is It Still Possible To Raise A Family On One Income?

    Money Thinker from Money Thinking presents Sifting through Needs and Wants, with a few handy questions to ask yourself before whipping out your wallet.

    Investing

    MISSION: Work smarter, not harder

    Acronym alert! Is SIPC like being FDIC insured? Not so, says Evan from My Journey to Millions, in What Is SIPC? Recent Sanford Case Should Lead to Interesting Results.

    James from Short Road To Retirement presents How To Invest Your 401k Plan, with a link to a calculator that will tell you how to allocate your assets based on your age and risk tolerance.

    Bonds have a place in many an investment strategy. SB from One Cent At A Time reckons Bonds are Paramount in your Portfolio; Even with Room for Volatility.

    Over time, tax treatment can make more difference than net returns or expense ratios. Dan from ETF Base explains What Makes an ETF Tax Efficient.

    How much do different investments really return? Drew from Objective Wealth presents Investment Asset Classes, Start Your Engines! with a car racing twist.

    In Sprint in $300 Million Tax Fraud Lawsuit, Flexo from Consumerism Commentary says, “Sprint says it was just “looking out for the consumer” when it failed to collect and pay $100 million in taxes.”

    Thinking of joining the IRA bandwagon? Mike Piper from Oblivious Investor presents Where Should I Open an IRA?, and says, “With all the new commission-free offerings in the last couple years, the answers to this common question have changed.”

    Money Management

    MISSION: Keep the ship running smoothly

    Gender roles often influence the division of household tasks. Ray from Tie the Money Knot asks, Who is the Financial Driver? in your relationship.

    Mike from Do Not Wait explains Why Simplicity is Key For Retirement – as it is in many aspects of life.

    Laura @ Frugal Follies on what a 1940 census taught her about saving. Digging into your ancestry can be uber-revealing!

    Robert from The College Investor shares his Top Apps for Finance, Investing and News.

    Would You Rather Live a Little More Now? Or Have a Pile of Cash Later?  Smart on Money wonders if we have to sacrifice everything right now to save up for the future.

    Other

    MISSION: Educate yourself

    Learning to handle your time wisely must be one of the hardest things about adulthood. Miss T. from Prairie Eco Thrifter lists 7 Time Management Tips that Will Help You Work Efficiently.

    Is ProvisionRX a Scammy Pyramid Scheme? Lazy Man and Money says ProvisionRX looks like the most basic of scams.

    In Shopping for Health Care, Money Walks offers some tips for buying health insurance.

    Real Estate

    MISSION: Learn from the property gurus

    In Home Mortgage Pre-Approval Letter Received, PT Money Personal Finance reaches a new chapter in the journey to buy a new home and become a landlord.

    Family Money Values presents Real Estate Investing – Get Better Cash Flow from your Rental Properties, and says, “Here are some suggestions on how to evaluate your properties to make sure that you are keeping a taut ship.”

    PK from Don’t Quit Your Day Job asks Who Decided 417:1 Leverage is a Good Idea?, and wonders if another federal bailout is imminent.

    Taxes

    MISSION: Crunch those numbers

    Those deductions can really add up when you run your own company. Teacher Man from My University Money presents Claiming a Business Loss – Losing Money Never Felt So Good.

    Left your taxes to the last minute AND made a boo-boo in the rush? Peter from Bible Money Matters has 8 Tips for Amending Your Tax Return When You Make a Mistake.

    Darwin’s Money explains Obama’s proposed ‘Buffett’ rule and why it’s a horrible idea for America in Senate Rejects Buffett Rule – Fighting Stupidity with Logic.

    Believe it or not, the IRS offers installment plans. Rob from Dough Roller presents Can’t Pay Your Taxes? Read This.

    Thanks all for taking part! Be sure to get your submissions in to next week’s Carnival when it is hosted by My Personal Finance Journey.

  • From checkout operator to NZ’s most eligible bachelor

    Poor old Trevor Cooper. He just won $26 million through Lotto. And he went public.

    I bet he’s regretting that now.

    He was on the front page of the paper. On TV. And apparently now he’s having to field requests from people who want money. Who’da thunk it?

    The front of a used Mark Six ticket

    (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    If it was me, I’d definitely sit on it. I might not even tell T for a couple days, if I could get away with it. I’d go to work, try to get my head around the news and think about how to proceed.

    I don’t do this kind of thing. I’m big on planning and what ifs. But those those theoretical what-ifs are always based in fact.

    But I don’t buy lottery tickets and hence will never win the jackpot. So while people love to talk about what they’d do if they won, I don’t, because IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

    But since I’ve started writing about poor old Trevor, I guess I may as well continue some way down that path.

    I wouldn’t quit my job. T would.

    We might up our wedding list by 10 or so people.

    I’d definitely turn our honeymoon into a full year off to travel (for which I would have to leave work).

    Then we’d come back and buy a house.

    There’d be money going to charity. And I’d also want to put some money back into the economy and invest in some startups. That’s not something I have experience in, so obviously I’d seek out local entrepreneurs/investors for that purpose.

    I think the big question is what we would do to help T’s family. Regular readers know that’s a sorry story. We would definitely help, but the details of that would require some serious consideration.

    But one thing is certain. I definitely would not be going public with my newfound fortune. It can only lead to trouble.

    Do you like to daydream about winning the lottery? How would you handle it?

  • What we spent: March 2012

    ** Click here for more info on my monthly spending roundups.**

    Gotta admit, March was expensive.

    Clothes – New wallet for T; his was literally in tatters.

    Dining – About $50 over goal… there was a slightly pricey but excellent yum cha breakfast, food at the Pasifika festival (it’s official; not really my kinda cuisine), the Puhoi tea rooms (woot! Crossed off my life list), birthday dinner for a friend, discovering the awesome Pakistani curry house down the road, and other bits and bobs. Yum.

    Entertainment – Went to the Hunger Games! I’m pretty happy with the adaptation. I rooted for Gale in the books (I always seem to go for the underdog; I was a Jacob fan myself) but when it came to the film, became a Peeta convert. (To be fair, Gale got hardly any screentime, but he was just a bit too pretty.)

    Fines – the second of those two speeding tickets

    Groceries – all good, moving right on…

    Health – new running shoes for T. Ouch.

    Holidays/events – Taking T’s brother out for his birthday.

    Rent – Five weeks in March. Ouch.

    T fun – Xbox stuff. A BB gun. Getting his RC car fixed. And other miscellany. Good thing only one of us is a spender.

    Vehicle – T hasn’t been taking his bike very often, and there were two days I had to drive out way south for a conference, so I’m happy this wasn’t actually higher.

    And an update on our savings goals:

    Our road trip fund: $2300 (minus $450 on flights and campervan deposit, paid for)

    Wedding: $535

    How did your March go?

  • Link love (Powered by faulty tech and early dawns)

    I was super excited by Quickflix launching in New Zealand, especially with the free introductory month (where you put in your credit card details, of course, so they can nab you should you forget to cancel before your time is up) and introductory price of $9.99.

    However. The range is crap. The new releases are $6.99.

    We pay for Sky TV (the boy’s choice). We can already get new releases for $6.99 on there. Some months we put the movies package on, when there are good films showing. In terms of price and offerings, Quickflix doesn’t really seem to offer anything more.

    What I want is up-to-date releases at a decent price. Is that too much to ask?

    What is Netflix like, dear Americans? I hear it’s the bees’ knees. I can’t even browse the Netflix site to see what I’m missing out on, because it detects how decidedly un-American my IP address is.

    Blast from the past

    New feature! Every month I’ll highlight some of my fave posts from the same month in previous years.

    One year ago I ran my first 10k, pondered a certain money mindset I’ve observed among the perennially broke and mused on the great balancing act of life

    Two years ago I was thinking about the perils of living out your life online, and what it would be like to live on my own.

    Okay, now to the links!

    MONEY

    Cents of a Country Girl recounts her adult financial journey in Money through the Ages.

    BrokeTo shares some of the silly things she’s done to save money.

    The Financial Blogger talks us through the costs of blogging for a living.

    Similarly, Alexis Grant shares the different ways she makes money online.

    A lovely post from Revanche on marriage and moving to joint finances.

    Finally, thanks to Canadian Personal Finance for including my post (Personal finance topics I’m SO over) in this week’s carnival of personal finance.

    WORK

    Berrak may not have a degree – but that’s not holding her back.

    Untemplater asks: how much of a payout would it take for you to leave work?

    TeacHer Finance on lessons learned from crappy jobs.

    Lost Gen Y Girl shares career lessons learned from the Hunger Games.

    Great advice from Michelle Asp: Worry less about what you’re saying and more about understanding what’s being said to you.

    Passion never earned anybody a paycheck. At Life Without Pants.

    LIFE, etc

    A handy post at WordPress on how to turn your blog into a book.

    Jill at Stratejoy pens a love letter to her body.

    Shannon asks if marriage is more than a piece of paper.

    From Grow: is social media making you a lazy communicator?

    Great resources here at Yes and Yes – how to stay smart.

    Loved this from Blue Milk on happily ever after in marriages.

    Aloysa shares five tips on surviving life in ghetto suburbs.

    I’m not one to talk about other countries’ politics, but had to share this from right-winger Rachel on the Republicans and Planned Parenthood.

    Nicole is Better on how to turn jealousy around.

    Way to make me feel old, Kim! Perfectly Cursed Life recounts some pop culture milestones that I guarantee will have you shaking your head.

    FOOD

    Pasta-free eggplant lasagne, via Funny about Money.

    Iowa Girl makes orange-glazed poppy seed muffins.

    And Stonesoup whips up a no bake chocolate peanut butter cake.

    Happy Easter, everyone! I’m still to make any plans – what are you doing?

  • Personal finance topics I’m so over

    personal finance topics i'm so over

    Let’s kill all these off for eternity, thanks.

    Saving for your kids’ university vs saving for your retirement

    I may be biased.

    In New Zealand, everyone can get an education, if they are so inclined. Schooling is “free” (annual fees, or “donations” as they call them, are just short of being compulsory – but you can get away without paying them. I didn’t pay my fees in the last year of high school as I was financially supporting myself and that $150 or whatever was a lot of money. It does mean you might miss out on certain things, like getting a yearbook, and of course you have to pay for school trips and stationery and whatnot). And everybody is entitled to an interest-free government student loan to cover your tertiary education.

    But you know what? No matter where in the world you live, some things don’t change. You, and you alone, are responsible for your financial situation. Nobody else will put your interests first. So if you don’t, what do you expect to happen to you?

    Sure, you can help out your kids, if you would like to and can swing it. I know fees in the US are reaching ridiculous new highs. But you won’t be doing anybody any good by jeopardising your own twilight future and potentially becoming a burden on your offspring later down the track.

    Do both by all means. But put one of these priorities – yourself – first, and don’t go for the other on its own.

    Why buying name brand items is a waste of money and how a kitten/fairy/unicorn dies every time you do it

    Look, there really is no difference sometimes. Budget milk is the same as Anchor (and even if not, the price difference is too staggering to make me fork out for the blue label). Budget pasta is the same as the next brand up, and a few more beyond that. Heck, T gets by just fine wearing Warehouse own-label jeans, though he does spend most of his time in Dickies.

    Here’s the thing, though. Some generic brands are downright godawful. No-name ketchup. Instant noodles. Canned vegetables. I’ve done it, and never again. That’s wasted food I couldn’t stomach, that never got finished, and money down the drain. I know what items it pays to pay a little more for, and I stick to it.

    Cellphones are a luxury and if you think otherwise, you’re a spoilt, entitled Gen Yer

    I work in media. Having a cellphone is expected (and in fact I now have a work phone). But even when I worked in hospitality, I was still expected to be easily reachable for last-minute shift changes or in the case of another job, to be contacted in regard to my availability to serve at various functions and events. You don’t have to be super important and way up the hierarchy to be needed, if you know what I mean.

    Cellphones don’t need to be expensive, either. I’ve had a phone since about 16 (I’m now 23) and in those years, I rarely spent more than $20 a month. A home phone costs more than that, with extra for voicemail. (Incidentally, we do have a landline with our broadband package, but doesn’t actually work with our modem – we have to unplug it to use the phone – and we use it so infrequently I can’t be bothered doing anything to remedy the situation.)

    Any blog topics you’ve had enough of, finance or otherwise?

  • How I FINALLY learned to budget: The long road to budgeting bliss

    How I learned to budget

    I’ve always been good with money. I got my first job – a paper round – at 13, making something like a whopping $80 a month, and saved every dollar I earned.

    I got my first real job in Year 11 at a cafe, working weekends. Then I decided I wanted to get an electric guitar, so I got another job at a call centre working weekdays after school. I worked constantly for months until I scraped together the $600 for my Ibanez and my amp, plus other paraphernalia like cords, a case, picks and the like.

    I moved out of home the following year and got by with barely $20 a week to spare, but I made it work.

    Then I – we – lost track a bit when T and I moved in together, throwing a car into the mix, along with other things. After a few months I sat down, went through our bank statements and was shocked to see what we were spending on food. (The first step to budgeting: tracking, and knowing what you’re spending.)

    Thus began some pathetic attempts at budgeting, stymied largely by variations in numbers. Income varied every week. Rent was the same every week, but all our other expenses varied. Plus of course, there are all the irregular expenses that crop up at the least opportune times. Cue head explosion.

    I would mock up beautiful budgets with colourful bars for each category. Breathless, I would log on after pay day and see how the numbers stacked up against the plan. Almost always, I would be thwarted, and give up yet again, thinking I could never make it work.

    Until one day I realised something very simple. The numbers fluctuated. And so should the budget. A budget is a living document that evolves as necessary.

    Instead of trying to make the money match my ideal budget every week, I needed to tailor the budget to that week’s numbers.

    Amazing, right?

    So simple, so obvious. Nonetheless, this was a major epiphany that cut through the fog.

    Did some overtime? That can go into savings.

    Lean week? Time to trim and eat in all weekend.

    The next step: figuring out how to handle those irregular expenses. I sat down and calculated what power, phone and internet was costing us, as well as less frequent payments like insurance, car registration and all those other bills. I added up an annual figure and divided that by 52. Every week, I put aside that amount into a subaccount, and then draw money from it as bills come due.

    Then simplify, simplify, simplify. Now that I’ve got a good system going, our expenditure in any one week is pretty predictable. Rent, groceries, petrol, bill money, and a little bit for fun – eating out, entertainment, etc. Done. It’s at the stage where I no longer budget, in fact, although I carefully track our spending every month.

    In my mind, budgeting bliss comes down to three steps:

    • Awareness – getting your head out of the sand about what you’re spending and facing up to the numbers
    • Action – doing something about it. Tackling debt, cutting back on frivolous spending, finding ways to trim your essential expenses
    • Automation – getting into a comfortable routine. Once this is second nature (I might even venture to use the term “autopilot”), you may not even feel the need to budget as such any more

    Need some more guidance? I like the 60% solution – a basic formula with suggestions for how much you should spend on various things:

    • 60% to Committed Expenses
    • 10% to Retirement.
    • 10% to Irregular Expenses
    • 10% to Long-Term Savings/Debt
    • 10% for Fun

    And if you’re after a budget spreadsheet, Budgets are Sexy has a handy list with a ton of free templates here.

    Are you a stringent budgeter, or more of a hands-off gal like me?

    This post is part of Women’s Money Week 2012. For more posts about budgeting see the Budgeting Roundup

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  • The long road to financial harmony

    HOW TO FIND FINANCIAL BALANCE WITH YOUR PARTNER

    Financial nirvana. Does it it exist?

    I’m not sure, but I can tell you that no two people handle money the exact same way, and being on a different page from your partner is a recipe for teeth-gnashing and tears.

    However you handle finances – joint accounts, separate, or a mix; equally, or with one person handling the bulk of the admin – reaching some basic agreements about money management is so important. Think along the lines of:

    • how you’ll each contribute to expenses
    • how you handle debt
    • how you’ll save for big goals
    • how much is okay to spend without consulting the other person
    • how much is reasonable to spend on (fill in the blank – could be clothing, food, video games, whatever)

    T and I kind of fell in the deep end with joint finances early on in our relationship. We moved in together, he started a new job and didn’t have a bank account of his own, so organised to be paid into my account. I also started university, we bought a car, and generally had more cash than we’d ever had – but vehicle expenses, getting T set up with the basics for work and life, and letting the extra income go to our heads (mainly to food, actually) meant we struggled a lot.

    Pretty early on, our wildly different money personalities became evident. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t easy. But I don’t think it would have been any easier if we’d delayed it. Heck, it might have been even worse, if he’d been left to his own devices.

    I can’t tell you when you should have the “money talk” with your partner, or what kind of financial system you should set up. Heck, some people go all their lives without knowing how much their significant other earns. Separate finances make total sense if both parties already have a good thing going individually and don’t mind splitting everything (personally I’d get fed up with all the calculations; do I really want to be keeping track of who last bought toilet paper .. or, later down the track, diapers for our little bundle of anxiety?).

    We went all out early on, but I’ve since refined it so that T has his own separate savings account and his own allowance/spending money every week: proof that joint finances can work even when one is a saver and one a spender. Whether we’ll combine savings fully once we get married remains to be seen, but I think we’ll always maintain some kind of husband fund for him to save up for toys – a bigger motorbike, a project car, etc. (Plus of course, even if both parties have access to the joint accounts, it can be nice to have a pot of your own.)

    What if it all goes pear-shaped?

    I suppose that’s a big one in favour of separate accounts. It’s true, nothing in life or love is certain. But if you have any sense (and I know my readers do) you wouldn’t be meshing funds unless you were pretty serious. Making a personal and emotional commitment to another human being is also a financial commitment, and for some couples that lends itself to joint bank accounts.

    Caveat: if I was a celebrity, I definitely wouldn’t. Nor would I fail to get a prenup and I sure as hell would not change my surname. I know every celeb thinks their marriage will be different, but the odds are heinously against you.

    Seriously though, while I would not recommend mixing finances as early as we did, I’m happy with how it turned out. We’ve settled into a semi-blissful groove, and if we ever split, it’s decided: he takes the TV, food processor, microwave, and his motorbike; I get the bed, laptop and car.

     

    This post is part of Women’s Money Week 2012. For more posts about relationships and money, see the Relationships and Money Roundup

  • What we spent: February 2012

    ** Click here for more info on my monthly spending roundups.**

    Some notes:

    Dining – Pretty happy with that!

    Groceries – Ditto.

    Fines – Not pleased, not pleased at all. T managed to get two speeding tickets this month, after a lovely few clean years. Both have been paid, although one will show up in next month’s accounts.

    Holidays – Paid $300, finally, for our New Year’s accommodation. About $100 for petrol, toll and food for our weekend up north. And just over $370 on booking flights to the South Island for our planned September road trip. Post on that coming.

    Home expenses – A little misleading, because I can’t split transactions here. $50 was for a game for T, the rest on a radio alarm clock (which handily enough also charges our phones). His phone has been crapping out and the alarm not working, and seeing as he needs to be up at 5.30am – not a time one would normally rise othewise – this was needed.

    Motorbike – only got topped up once, but we paid for three months worth of registration, which cost an ungodly $109.

    Utilities – Higher than usual. Power and phone/internet are bang on, but Sky TV was higher because we put movies back on for a month, T had two lots of cell phone bills and we paid our water bill (only $33 for two months. It’s ridiculously low, I think, because we split the bill evenly with the tenant in the back unit – there’s only one meter – and she’s NEVER home, so we get the best end of the deal).

    Vehicle – This has been the worst summer ever. It’s like we missed out on an entire season. I’m over this crappy weather, not least because rain means more driving, less biking for T.

    Pretty happy overall – pretty lean, pretty in line with my priorities – speeding fines excepted. How was your month?

  • Tom and Lynette, you’re breaking my heart

    Confession: I watch Desperate Housewives.

    Confession two: I am ridiculously sad that Tom and Lynette have split up.

    They’ve always been my favourite couple. She, the Type-A superwoman; he, the easy-going complement. T and I always agreed he was the best husband on the street.

    To me, there’s one big lesson to be learned from their demise.

    Imbalance can be deathly to a relationship.

    If you are a driven person, it will be very hard to take the back seat to your partner’s career.

    Lynette was a career woman to the core – as evidenced by her inability to defer to Tom even after encouraging him to pursue a big career move that saw his star really rise.

    She supported, pushed him even, into accepting a high-powered job. He wasn’t keen, but eventually embraced his new position. And Lynette found that difficult to accept – being relegated to spa sessions with the other wives on an executive retreat, refusing to treat Tom like an actual client when he hired her to redecorate his office, and so on. She wanted it both ways – she wanted him to succeed, but not to play the role of supporting spouse – and refused to accept that the dynamic was irrevocably altered.

    All of that made worse by the fact that they both work(ed) in the same field, and that Lynette brought the entire situation on herself. Sometimes the things you think you want don’t make you happy, after all.

    Worst of all, it seemed she’d lost her own financial stability – surely having Tom stop by the house to drop off a cheque would have to qualify as a serious lifetime low.

    I’m not saying that who makes the most holds all the cards. But I am aware that if you’re in a partnership where one party ultimately calls the shots, and the other suddenly becomes a power player professionally, that’s probably going to seep over into the personal realm.

    I’m thankful that T does not work in the same industry as I do – partly because 2 x journalist incomes will never equal pots of money – but mainly because I think the competitiveness factor would kill us dead. And that’s all on my part. I can’t help myself. I would not be able to separate the personal and professional – to stop comparing our work, to make sure I measured up or better, to stop any envy eating away at our relationship.

    I’d like to think if we ended up in the same scenario, that it wouldn’t break us. Him making most of the money would not represent a seismic power shift, because I’d still be the household money manager, keeping things humming along, perhaps working with a bigger budget. And if, like Lynette, adjusting to the new order proved tougher than it might seem, I’d hope that I would be able to rationally view how I was dealing with the situation and actually communicate with T to figure out how I could cope better.

    I’m still rooting for these two.

    Who’s your favourite DH couple? To what extent do you think money plays a role in relationship dynamics?

  • Budget updates: Life in the new house

    Our rent has gone up twice in the last six months or so. First, an increase from $250 to $280 a week. That was the prompt we needed to start looking for a larger place for our money, and for $320, we now have a garage for T’s motorbike, a living room (before we were in a studio where there was barely space for me to lie on the floor by the bed and do stretches), a kitchen we can both fit into at the same time (no more bitter cursing from me every other minute while I’m cooking), and there’s also all the little things:

    • a decent laundry line
    • our own recycling bin
    • lightbulbs that don’t cost the earth to replace
    • honest-to-goodness hot water in the kitchen
    • saving on bus fare
    • and saving on petrol, being closer to T’s friends and family

    Our utilities are also going up, our internet package costs $10 more, and our electricity is also on the rise.

    At our old house our daily spend ranged from $2.30 to $3.50 a day, or around $80 to $100 a month, with a decent on time, online discount of 22 percent. I think we were averaging around 250 kw a month in raw unit use.

    Now, our usage is closer to 400kw, although our bills have not increased significantly (to date $99 and $80) thanks to Powershop.

    But that’s a big jump in units used. Why?

    I’ve lived in larger houses than this with flatmates, and power was usually around $40-60 each when split. And while we are in a bigger place now, I didn’t see any reason why we would be using more electricity. After all, we still only have the lights or fan on in one room at a time.

    However, at our old place, the water was heated by gas, which we didn’t pay for (nor did we pay for water itself, actually. Another bill to add – usually $90 a quarter, depending how much rates have gone up in the last two years).

    To compensate, we’re downgrading our TV package. I anticipate adding on the movie channels maybe once every few months when good films are on, or buying the odd Box Office movie – but our regular monthly bill will be lower.