Money and relationships – when it all goes pear shaped

One of my flatmates and his GF have broken up.

I’m quite sad – she was lovely and sweet. She had a fondness for bourbon and pornos, but was surprisingly intelligent and unskanky for a westie type (if you’ll pardon the stereotyping, but they exist for a reason…and I consider myself one as well, to a degree) and incredibly giving. To a fault, actually. Her generosity extended to going halves with him on a car (I think to the tune of $500), and advancing him $800 for the bond on our new place, despite the fact she didn’t even live here. She did it to help him out, that’s all.

Now he’s found himself some hobaggy little blonde and ditched her.

I have no idea what’s going to happen with all the money he owes her; BF says she gave him literally everything she had, and wiped out her savings. I don’t imagine the breakup would have been pretty 🙁 in fact, he had been seeing the blonde possibly even before dumping her… we just suddenly stopped seeing the GF around the house and saw the new chick hanging around.

Poor taste, I say.

NB: Tomorrow’s post will be protected – I’m talking about work related stuff and don’t want it to be all out in the open. You can email me at eemusings(at)gmail.com for the password

5 thoughts on “Money and relationships – when it all goes pear shaped

  • Reply me in millions October 21, 2009 at 02:17

    I feel so bad for his ex. But I also don’t understand. Why would she give him so much money when she didn’t really have so much to give?

  • Reply Revanche October 21, 2009 at 06:23

    @me in millions: Sadly, because it’s relatively easy for a BF to “scam” his GF out of money when she’s generous and wants to help. I’ve known plenty of girls through work, etc. who don’t know better and insist on lending and giving more than they can afford.

    You can be a generous person and still protect yourself. And you should!

  • Reply eemusings October 21, 2009 at 07:31

    I can’t pretend to understand it myself, but Revanche hit the nail on the head I think. Some girls are just conditioned to be very giving. Combine with a pushy, bordering on domineering partner = disaster. I mean, I don’t know if she offered, or he demanded, or a bit of both… but either way she couldn’t afford it! I would personally never give away my last dollar. You gotta put yourself first. I definitely agree with Revanche: “You can be a generous person and still protect yourself.”

  • Reply Jessie October 21, 2009 at 14:21

    wow – that is certainly poor taste.

    It can be hard to know who to support when you see a friend mistreating or misbehaving – or acting in poor taste (I like how you put that)…

  • Reply Airam December 5, 2009 at 13:37

    I have a friend like this too, only she’s the girl and she’s the one lending her (now) ex money all the time. Thing is, I’m not sure if he actually ever needs the money as he then goes out and “lends” that money to his friends not expecting to be paid back and looking like a very generous person. Yeah, he’s a keeper.

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