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Browsing category: Uncategorized

  • July 15, 2009

    Kiwisaver

    Got a letter today from IRD, a rather unexpected one.

    Seems BF was automatically enrolled in Kiwisaver for the job he was at briefly, earlier in the year.

    I assume it’s too late by now to opt out, and honestly the horror stories I’ve heard make it seem not worth the hassle of even trying.

    Longterm, it was in the plan for him to join Kiwisaver anyway. And seeing as he’s not earning, it doesn’t make much difference, and at least he’ll get the $1000 kickstart. Hopefully that alone will encourage him and show him it really is worth it! You can’t complain about free money.

    Only thing I’m worried about is whether he’ll have to contribute from his unemployment. It’ll be only be about $4 per week, so I guess that’s a moot point anyway. More importantly, I’m looking through the booklet we were sent; he’s in one of the default schemes with AMP and I don’t like the look of their charges. If he’s not going to be working and therefore not putting money in, I don’t want fees eating away at his account! I’m going to get out that Mary Holm book on Kiwisaver, but in the meantime if anyone can recommend a scheme that doesn’t charge big fees and doesn’t have large minimum contribution requirements, please chime in!

  • July 15, 2009

    Watching the Bachelor = like watching a train wreck

    23792_jason-mesnick2I find it really hard to understand how the girls on the Bachelor can fall so fast in a matter of weeks….and I find it hard to believe that real relationships can be forged in front of a TV camera. I know I personally could not be myself if I was being filmed, let alone be comfortable alone with a guy, out on dates and stuff. It’s almost painful to see the rejected girl/s going home in the limo, trying not to cry and ruin their makeup, saying things like “I really thought he was the one. I’m ready to settle down. My heart is broken. I just think I’m better off alone.”

    Other things I HATE about the show:

    That dude coming out every time just before the final rose is presented, just to remind everyone that it’s the last rose of the night and someone will be going home.

    That dude having man-to-man talks with the Bachelor before the ceremony and asking inane questions about his state of mind and how his dates have gone.

    The girls standing there clutching their roses with beatific smiles, waiting for him to walk out the rejected girl/s and return to them.

    Group dates!!!! Enough said.

    I also thought it was REALLY weird that he went out and met all of their families when there were still FOUR girls left in the running – I thought they usually did that for the last two? That would make more sense. The point of meeting the family is when you’re getting serious, and if you have that many girls to choose from, how serious can you be?

    It got me thinking, though, about just how much of a role families play in romantic relationships. One of the girls’ parents didn’t want to meet the Bachelor – they weren’t comfortable with the “publicness” of it all. (You know what? I don’t think I would be either, personally. I felt bad for the chick, but I totally sympathise with her family. Some people are very private, and if they don’t want to meet their prospective son-in-law and have it broadcast on TV, fair enough!) It seemed like a really big deal for both of them, to not be able to introduce him to the family. He asked her friends all about her parents, and thought it was really strange that they’d never met them and dind’t know anything about them (hey, my friends and parents are totally separate! Does anyone else think it’s more unusual to have your friends and parents be close? Or is it just me?)

    BF’s never met my parents, officially. Once when we ran into my mum out and about, I introduced him by name. He’s never met my dad. I’m happy to keep it that way as long as…ever? I’m not really close to them – haven’t been since I was tiny. It’s not a big deal for either of us that he hasn’t met them yet, though I know it’ll have to happen some day.

    They say you can tell a lot from someone just from meeting their family, because parents are such a huge influence on their children. I think that’s true for BF, who still lives close to his family and sees them often (sometimes even a few times a week). For me, I don’t know if that applies as much. Personality wise, I guess I resemble both parents, but in terms of my outlook and views and culture, we’re vastly different.

    I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I don’t identify that closely with my family, although they are still important to me, we’re not exactly the Brady Bunch. So it doesn’t matter to me that they don’t know BF yet despite us having been together for years, and vice versa. And I don’t think he needs to know them, in order to understand me. OTOH, it was important to BF that his family liked me, especially his mum (and thankfully she did). What do you think?

  • July 14, 2009

    Loving my iPod (and a potted history of my relationship with music)

    I’ve always considered myself a music lover. When I left home, one of the things I wanted to buy was an MP3 player. (Seriously. I don’t think iPods even existed then). For a while I had one of those pathetic 500MB type stick players, but frankly it was crap and when I broke my headphones, I didn’t bother to replace them. For a while, I just used it as a backup USB stick, and now BF has gone and lost it – so alas, it lives no more! apple_ipod_classic_1

    I played recorder in primary school, like everyone else did, and then I progressed on to violin. I don’t really remember how much of a choice I had in that, but I went along with it. I briefly toyed with the idea of playing flute, and then considered the clarinet, but in the end I decided I preferred strings over woodwind. And I dutifully went to violin lessons every Saturday morning (primary school) played in the orchestra before school (intermediate) and took lessons during the school day (high school – GREAT way to get out of boring classes!) and played in the orchestra for a couple of years.

    I must have been the WORST violinist ever to grace the earth. My attempts at participating in the orchestra were crap. My sight reading was shit. My technique was even worse. I would literally sit there and barely draw my bow across the strings and just pretend, because I couldn’t keep up, let alone know what the correct notes were to play!

    One other person was in the same violin class as me in high school, and although he wasn’t totally into it either, he was a darn sight better than me and more committed to boot. NOT that that was hard. I went from practising three times a week to one, or none. It just didn’t interest me. I think the only things that kept me hanging on were those rare moments of true enjoyment, like nailing a passage or playing a beautiful piece, and a sort of feeling of inclusion. You know, I played violin, and that made me a MUSICIAN. It was part of who I was. And of course, I was just too stubborn to admit defeat and give up.

    I never really liked classical music. I liked contemporary stuff. I would have the radio on in the mornings before I left, and on as soon as I got home. Sometimes I’d even play CDs during the night to fall asleep to! I would tape my favourite songs off the radio, and my favourite artist was Michelle Branch. When me and my mum went to Singapore, I convinced her to buy me her album. It’s one of the few I own.Then I decided I wanted to play guitar, so I got an acoustic and started writing my own songs. I was a super emo, introverted kid. I poured all my feelings out onto paper, into lyrics and into melodies. I had boy troubles with pretty much the same guy all through high school, and that provided me NO end of misery and inspiration.

    Then I moved into my electric phase; I worked two jobs, 20 hours a week after school to save up. I bought my Ibanez and I bought an Ashton amp and I started to focus more on the technical side of things. I wanted to be able to riff and play solos – but I never could play standing up. I got into classics like the Eagles, Zep, Metallica, Nirvana, Guns n Roses, etc. I started to really appreciate technical skill, and i learned to hear basslines and harmonies. And although I would never have admitted it, I was (in my head) sort of trying to compete with my (now) ex, who also played.

    After I left home, and broke up with him, I took guitar lessons for a little while. But it just got to be too much hassle – it was too far away and too awkward to get to, and several times I actually missed the bus out there! And after the breakup, I didn’t really feel much like playing.

    Then I met BF. And I was calmer, and happier than ever before; I stopped writing songs. I didn’t need to anymore. They were sort of my creative outlet, but I couldn’t write when I was happy. Happy songs are damn near impossible. That summer I also pretty much stopped playing guitar as well, and I’ve never really picked it up since. I moved to a new place, where I didn’t have anywhere to put my little stereo, and so it languished in a corner. I gave up radio, and when I wanted to put CDs on, they just went into my computer. I built up a 20G strong music library on it, but after numerous crashes in which I lost all my songs, I lost heart and never bothered to rebuild it.

    Mine's red :P

    Mine's red 😛

    And to be honest, music hasn’t really played a large part in my life for a while. It has in the past, for sure, it’s got me through some tough times, and I have a playlist of songs which never fails to cheer me up when I need perking up. But now I have an iPod, and I’m determined to get back into it. I always forget just how much I really love music – there’s nothing like going to a live show, or tapping your foot and singing along to your most favourite song in the entire world (and irritating other bus passengers). I love such a huge range of music. From Fleetwood Mac, to Tool, to Mariah Carey, to Fall Out Boy, to Soundgarden, to GnR, Blue Oyster Cult, Kings of Leon, Aerosmith, Brad Paisley, Paramore, Muse, Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam, Matchbox 20, Abba, Santana, Hendrix, Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins and the odd modern day song that’s too catchy to resist. (Current guilty pleasures: Ashlee Simpson, Lady Gaga, MGMT, Kids of 88…). The only stuff I don’t do is rap and what me and BF lovingly refer to as “hippity hop”. There are two possible exceptions – Coolio, Gangster’s Paradise, and Chris Brown, Run It. Never get tired of dancing to the latter!

  • July 14, 2009

    $20 for a 9 hour day

    or, what’s like to be an unpaid intern….

    Luckily, I nipped out for a halfhour lunch today and caught two buses. Two bus surveys = $20, not bad for 30 mins work! Plus another 15min tomorrow to write them up. I’m ignoring the fact that I won’t get paid for them til month’s end…

    Twas a long day indeed.

    The first court hearing I was supposed to go to got postponed till 2.15, so back to the office we went. Then it turned out it did go ahead, sometime BEFORE 2.15, which we entirely missed. The second hearing we were meant to sit in on at 2.15, postponed till 3.45. So we nipped off to Mangere for a small conference with the family of Halatau Naitoko (the guy who was shot by police in the motorway chase back during January). Sad stuff. I just wanted to give them a hug.

    Then it took an hour to drive back to work, despite it supposedly being against traffic and all. Very frustrating, very tiring. I haven’t been this glad to get home in a while!

  • July 11, 2009

    Suffering fools gladly

    I have very little patience for insincerity and bullshitters. The older I get, the more my tolerance wanes. I just can’t be bothered with that kind of crap.

    My social circle is kind of disparate. There are my girlfriends from school – one of whom I’ve known for ten years  – who I see every couple of months, but I’m really only close to a few of them and I probably wouldn’t hang out one-on-one with about half of them. We tend to organise mass catchups over lunch/dinner and see each other on birthdays etc, and although sometimes it’s frustrating trying to get everyone together in one place, I always have a good time with them. I have a few other random friends (uni, friends of friends), who aren’t necessarily connected to any of my other friends, and then my inner circle who I see more often. We’re a group from school who hang out sometimes as much as every weekend and are my first port of call. And they’re all guys, pretty much.  Then I suppose we have a secondary social circle (different people) which overlaps with my main circle, who I socialise with but am not close to.

    Sadly, within this extended group are one or two downers. And by downers, I mean shallow, selfish, insincere bitches. Charismatic, though, and fun, so most people either don’t notice, or downright embrace their antics. But that’s something I’ve had enough of, and I just ignore it entirely. I can’t escape it, but I don’t have to play along. There are enough good people in my life to surround myself with, so why bother with the bad seeds?

    Thoughts? Where did you meet most of your friends? How often do you see them? And do you have patience for fake, bitchy acquaintances?

  • July 10, 2009

    Getting social-media savvy

    I came across this ad for a social media intern on Twitter a few days ago. Ignoring the fact that it’s unpaid and in Cambodia, methinks the criteria are pretty damn tight! I wonder if they’ll find someone who fits their strict requirements, and is willing and able to get out there and support themselves for however long the internship is.

    – At least 150 followers on Twitter
    – At least 200 Facebook friends
    – Administrator or creator of at least one Facebook group
    – A blog with a Google Page Rank of 2 or higher

    Yikes. 150 followers on Twitter? Nowhere near, not even close. And the majority of mine are spammers. I might go private in the near future. Seriously, I briefly logged into Twitter at work (not a total no-no, we do use social networking) and checked out my latest new followers. All of them were…erm…NSFW. I’m talking porno, with profile pics of naked body parts, etc.

    200 FB friends? Nope. I’m refraining from friending anyone and everyone I know. I’m not wanting to play the popularity game. I even periodically go through and cull a few people once in awhile, usually people from high school who I have nothing to do with. I have about 10 friend requests which have been sitting for months and which I should hurry and up hit ‘ignore’ on. My Facebook profile is for people I actually care about and interact with – quality, not quantity. I can understand how more gregarious and well travelled/connected people can easily have 500+ friends, though.

    I think I may possibly be an admin on ONE Facebook group (which was created for a uni project) – does that count? And a blog with Google page rank of 2 of higher? What on earth does that even mean? I am not totally SEOoblivious but I’m a bit stuck on that one. I assume it’s along the lines of showing up in the top two pages when people search for terms related to your blog?

  • July 9, 2009

    Imperfectly perfect relationships

    I recently discovered SleepyJane and her refreshingly honest take on relationships. It’s not often people blog so candidly, and it got me thinking more closely about my relationship with T (I may start referring to him by initial; I’m kind of sick of typing BF out so often!)

    Lesbian_Couple_togetherness_in_bed_02We’re both the same age (I’m four months older to be exact) and have been together since Dec 05. Three and a half years. It’s a long time. We’ve lived together for basically two and a half of those. But of course, it’s not all smooth sailing. The last six months have by far been the hardest for us – if not in my entire life –  and they’ve really tested us.

    And of course, there’s the day-to-day stuff that all couples deal with…but maybe don’t like to talk about. Some are mundane, some not so much. Nobody I know is at the stage in life that we are at (living together, combined money, totally independent and away from home) so I don’t really get to discuss this kind of stuff with anyone! Luckily, I have my trusty blog 😛

    The small stuff

    T is a freak. He needs hardly any sleep at all, and is usually awake at 6 or 7 without fail. He always berates me for sleeping too much – he’s a fan of the “more you sleep, the more you NEED to sleep” theory. Poor boy, he usually has to wait a couple of hours on the weekend mornings for me to wake up. He knows if he tries to disturb me it won’t be pretty…

    He doesn’t brush his teeth often – yet NEVER gets bad breath – I’m trying to get him to brush more regularly so he doesn’t lose all his teeth before middle age.

    He hates doing the dishes and doesn’t hang up his wet towels. If I ask him to do ONE thing for me, odds are 50/50 whether he will or not. If I ask him to do two, three or more things, I’ll be lucky if he does more than one. I swear, he NEVER gets things done, and it’s incredibly frustrating. This mainly relates to housework, so it’s not exactly fun stuff, but I do expect him to pull his weight.

    We can both get incredibly annoyed, incredibly fast, over often incredibly stupid things. Although he generally handles me quite well, I find it hard to deal with him in those irrational kinds of moods (and you know, I feel like by this stage I should be able to).

    He’s a big guy. He’s rarely ever cold. I swear he runs at 20 degrees higher than me; we need some supersmart duvet which cools him while heating my poor thin body. Often it’s hard to be in bed together, because while I’m shivering, he’s literally sweating. And nothing is more irritating than him settling in under the covers, while the fan’s on – because according to him, it’s too cold out of the blanket but too hot under it…

    And the bigger stuff..

    I don’t have a particularly high libido, which is pretty much the opposite of him. Hence: friction, from time to time (especially in the mornings).

    Although he is smart, and talented, I would not describe him as particularly driven. Some people know what they want to do, where they want to be, and have it all figured out. I, at least, sort of always knew the path I’d follow…vaguely. He got started in engineering, and was great at it. He had ambitions: to get qualified, maybe even do a degree through night school, work hard, earn lots, travel with me, etc. Then that fell apart. Now he’s a bit lost. It’s almost like, if someone told him that he HAD to be in a particular industry, and do a particular thing, he would. He’d make the most of it and he’d succeed in that. I truly believe he can succeed in anything he wants to do. He’s just unfocused as to what that is. And it scares me a little; now I’m close to graduating, I’m truly in my “twenties” and I’m starting to feel that time’s marching on. Education and career wise, he’s now almost three years behind me.

    Ah, the PF angle. Our relationship has not been good for my individual finances. I don’t imagine for a second anyone would ever have recommended we merge finances. But if we hadn’t, I hate to think how dire his situation might be had he had full rein of his account, say, until we got married, or something like that. I look after our money and I do it because we’re committed to each other. In the long term, this will be better for us and I want us to get a solid footing, and to be on the same page.

    I know I have PLENTY of my own faults. Although I’d prefer to refer to them as quirks… eg, I got really upset at him for not eating the pack of salami we bought specially for him this week, which by now will be well past its use-by. What a waste! Seriously, I would have wolfed it down if he didn’t want it (I looooooove salami of all kinds). But you know, it was only $3. I should have let it go.

    People don’t change, fundamentally, and there’s no point expecting them to. I guess it’s a matter of deciding what you can and can’t put up with, and what your dealbreakers are.

  • July 8, 2009

    Totally missed exam handback today – forgot all about it. Not that I really care. I’ve never appealed a mark before, and I figure I’ll just wait till Monday when results are released online.

    Internship is going okay. It’s been the slowest news week in a while…..no joke. Hopefully I’ll be doing some exciting stuff next week (I’ll keep you updated) and in anticipation of that, I think I need to brush up on my nonexistent rugby knowledge. Sorry, but I really have no interest in the national sport. But it looks like I’d better taking some!

    My friend N, who’s also interning this fortnight (although for print, not online) was sick for the last couple of days :(. Not the best foot to start off on. So…the paper poached me yesterday to go out on the streets with a photographer and do a few vox pops of “our people”. Now, most people assume that anyone who approaches them onQueen St is gonna try to sell them something. Fair enough assumption, but I was holding a notebook and was in my coat and heels; then again, some of the Red Cross type fundraisers dress pretty sharp. I remember going for a promo job, which turned out to be one of those street campaigning ones, and rocked up in jeans. Except everyone else was in suits. Whoops.

    I was pretty lucky to run into three young girls straight off who were happy to talk to me, and then I encountered a woman on her smoke break. Then we had kind of a bad run; we needed some guys to balance out the sample, only all the men were busy looking suits, homeless looking, or didn’t speak English. Thankfully, my photographer was super experienced, and good at reading people from afar and suggesting which ones would be approachable.

    I’ve come to realise that I really just enjoy the writing. I don’t even need to see my name in print. (And for online stuff, I don’t usually get a byline because so much of it is simply based off releases). And as much as I was aware of the time pressure of working online – I mean come on, I work in the department – actually writing under that pressure is quite stressful. I was hardly writing groundbreaking stuff, but I swear I could feel those time constraints pressing in around me.

  • July 8, 2009

    Birthday weekend, Pt 2

    BEST. FRIENDS. EVER. Seriously.

    I’ve never had a surprise party thrown for me, though I’ve been to my fair share for others…and I’ve always kind of wished someone would organise me one! And I got my wish on Sunday, to the nth power.

    As far as I knew I was being taken out to brunch – which would have been amazing enough – and had been told to keep myself free. Except it wasn’t brunch. I got kidnapped for the entire day and didn’t get home until about 10.

    And so, I know you’re dying to know…

    Pretty purple dress

    Pretty purple dress

    First I got taken to Newmarket to go DRESS SHOPPING, of all things! After traipsing around 277 and finding nothing that ticked all the boxes – style, colour, size – and breathtakingly expensive designer shops on Nuffield St, we struck gold in one of those eclectic little Asian fashion shops. What’s more, it was marked down to 30 from $70. Because it was so cheap, they wanted to buy me shoes to match, but I didn’t love the shoes, so we moved on. Then came two belts to go with it – a white silky ribbon and a black/bronze one with decorative buckle. A quick stop for lunch (Japanese katsu bowl for me, with delicious chicken, gravy, salad, ginger and rice. Should have taken a photo) and on we continued.

    I was whisked over to Ponsonby and escorted into Tamara Spa. Let me just say at this point – what a freaky coincidence. Either they are mindreaders or BF was collaborating with them. I had been wanting to do a spa day but…the cost….and oh my lord, I just don’t even want to know how much was spent on that. The woman even commented on it when it came time to pay. I won’t recount exactly what she said, but she expressed disbelief that people our age could afford a three hour service and wondered if we had parental help. I just  expressed my gratitude for my unbelievably generous friends.

    I was there for three whole hours. My first facial, first body scrub and body wrap. The facial was rather painful, although I’m not sure if it was because of my sensitive skin, or if all the masks were meant to sting. But it was super cleansing and I now have baby smooth skin. The massage was SO relaxing (I fell asleep briefly) apart from the feet. Let’s just say I’m super ticklish, and luckily the therapist picked up on that quickly. They are so discreet! I guess it comes with the job. Thankfully, I didn’t think about the fact that I hadn’t shaved my legs in far too long until AFTER the treatments. The body scrub was intense. My friend agreed it was the most painful thing he’d ever experienced; more so than breaking any body parts. I was just afraid it would open up my old eczema spots, but they seem to have survived. And the wrap? I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t plastic wrap. (I’m such a beauty therapy noob.) I felt like an oversized rose, albeit one covered in mud and exfoliating beads.

    Presents

    Presents

    After the spa, I got changed into my new dress and was taken to dinner at Plato‘s. Talk about a surprise! All my friends were there (excluding a couple of not so good ones, post coming soon on that). Even some of my girlfriends – I love that they went to the effort to organise all the people I love, together!

    Man, I’m so spoiled. I feel SO lucky, and undeserving. I hope to be able to repay them next year when I’m *touch wood* working full time; I’ve been the worst friend ever in terms of birthdays the last couple of years. Feeling the love, very much so.

  • July 6, 2009

    Birthday weekend Pt. 1

    My feet hurt!

    Just got back from a good night out. I decided to bust out my silver heels (which I wear, oh, about once a year) just for me, just because. Luckily, we didn’t end up going dancing – that would not have worked out well – and I held up pretty well, until we got home and I just collapsed onto the bed and sighed in relief. Don’t get me wrong, I’m much better at walking in heels than I used to be, and the shoes fit me well. They’re just not of especially  high quality and the straps start to rub a little after a few hours. I think at some point I need to invest in good, comfortable stilettos (plus, the right shoe started squeaking sometime before dinner).

    Before I go any further, I have to admit: this was NOT a fiscally responsible week! I more or less thought, F*** it, I’ll deal with the aftermath later. Could we really afford to have done anything this weekend? Not really, but I threw caution (somewhat) to the wind.

    We had Thai at Zap2 in Balmoral, mainly because I knew we’d both enjoy it even though I really wanted to go to a Malaysian restaurant. But BF had food poisoning last night, and I wanted him to be able to eat something he definitely likes, and so I wouldn’t have to deal with him being grumpy if he didn’t like anything at Bunga Raya. That came to $36 – for an entree of spare ribs, my tom yum and his pad thai.

    Then I FINALLY finally went to SkyCity for the first time! The legal age is 20, so really I’ve waited almost an entire year. SkyCity is massive. (We also spotted the Syrian basketball team who are in Auckland for a visit and must be staying there. They’re all tall, dark, broody looking and about 7 foot tall. A lovely cross section of Aucklanders crowded around them; the classy, tasteful famewhores teetering in heels and skirts and clamouring for a piece of the guys. How embarrassing….)

    I couldn’t believe how many tables and machines there were. Like, I wouldn’t even try to count them. BF showed me how it worked first on the 2 and 5c machines, then after losing about $10 we headed to the bigger machines ($2) where I proceeded to win back our money and come out even :). Then I quit :P. After that, we wandered around gaping at all the high rollers on the gaming tables. Blackjack, poker, roulette….they were full of middle aged to old people, and oddly enough, mostly Asian (tourists?). With the minimum bets being $5 and $10, I really couldn’t justify jumping in. So we just watched. Watched people drop hundreds of dollars at a time, some making a little back, most just seeing the dealers sweep their piles of chips into the black hole in the table. Good fun. Total cost – $8 for parking. Next time I’ll try to make back enough to cover parking too…

    Lastly, onto Denny’s for a quick dessert. As tempting as the pies and cheesecakes looked, we couldn’t justify paying $6-7 for a single slice when we could have bought an entire cheesecake for $5 at the supermarket, or gotten 2 pies for $6 (which we did the last two weeks at Pak n Save). A shake and a banana fritter/ice cream later, $9.70 down.

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