Forgiveness is a funny beast

Snowy plants close up in field

Recent events have brought me closer to and further from various people in my life.

It’s gotten me thinking a lot about forgiveness.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve known the power of words. I can barely recall a time before I could read and write.

It’s strange, the things – actions and words alike – that I never thought I’d forgive. But looking over my shoulder, I realise that somewhere along the way, I did. It wasn’t a conscious choice.

And conversely, there’s the words that have actually stuck with me for decades and that I don’t think I’ll ever let go of. The funny thing is, I don’t think the people in question realise what impact those throwaway comments had. That’s why I’m so careful about what I say (and write).

Then there’s the things we say in emotional moments that are actually quite manipulative or malicious. We are all flawed, but it’s deeply disappointing  to see this in those closest to us.

Words matter.

While actions do speak a million louder than words, for me it’s words that actually stick in my memory, that have lasting impact, and will refer back to when the actions start to fade from memory.

There’s a lot of things I need to start to forgive and let go of, before they eat away at me.

Or failing that, in the words of Emily Yoffe, I must accept them and move on.

6 thoughts on “Forgiveness is a funny beast

  • Reply Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank February 3, 2016 at 13:00

    Words can make and break someone. So we’d better be wise at using our words. Think before we speak.

  • Reply Michelle February 4, 2016 at 03:27

    I am very, very careful of the words that I use. They can be used to hurt or help. I never want to be the person who hurts someone else because of a lack of care on my part with my words.

    One of the most troubling issues that I’ve been observing is the American election. A lot of hate is being spewed and we are seeing some scary situations happening as a result.

  • Reply Jordan February 6, 2016 at 02:21

    Forgiving is a very powerful thing. It’s one of those things that can seem so extremely difficult to want to do, but if you force yourself to do it the power of healing for yourself and the person you forgive can be huge. It really can change the world.

  • Reply Jesse February 7, 2016 at 15:41

    It is really easier to forgive but hard to forget. This is really true.

  • Reply Abigail @ipickuppennies February 9, 2016 at 08:49

    I try to think more before I speak because I’m very good at lashing out. And apparently, what I say tends to ring a little too true. It sticks with people, and I feel awful.

    I think the worst is the stuff we do view as throwaway lines. Even jokes. I heard an anecdote recently where a guy had teased his friend ONCE back in high school about hairy feet. He called it hobbit feet. More than a decade later, he found out the guy has shaved his feet ever since and is really sensitive about them.

    I definitely obsess over small things, so I’m trying to learn to let go of the things that sting. I try to remember it was an offhand comment or to remember what the other person was going through at the time.

    It rarely works, but I figure I’ll get better with it as time wears on.

  • Reply Jamie February 10, 2016 at 00:53

    Words do matter especially nowadays with the Internet. So we’d better be careful using every word we speak and write.

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