This month T sat his final test for his course. Depending on his results, he may or may not be guaranteed entry to university. Whether he decides to carry on with that… well, that’s another matter.

They’ll have a graduation ceremony in late November – exactly a month from now for friends and family. Obviously I’ll be going. But I asked him who else he was going to invite… and he said no one. Not even his mum? No, not even her.

Apparently, he said, she doesn’t think he’ll end up going to uni.

“Why not?” I asked

“She thinks I’ve quit too many things before.”

Now, I think that’s a little hasty. I think that’s completely unfair, actually. What has he started and not completed? He didn’t finish out school, and joined the army, which he decided wasn’t for him. So there’s that. Then he got into a good line of work, and got laid off after two years. (No dropping out there). Then with some prodding from me, he enrolled in a foundation course so he would have the option of going to university. Even if he doesn’t, it’s a fantastic thing to have under his belt. And it’s a darn sight more than any of his siblings have.

Even going further back, what else has he started and not finished? He decided not to carry on with high-level athletics. That’s not uncommon. And let’s be honest, a career in sports is not the best of career plans anyway. I can think of so many activities I did throughout my school years and never carried on with… violin, badminton, debating, tennis, soccer… I got a kick out of all those while I did them, sure, but I didn’t want to keep going with any of them on a regular basis.

Sure, he’s messed up a lot of things. Some of it is due to being naturally carefree, or careless, even. He’s never relied on his family to bail him out, although they have helped him out on countless occasions. And yes, he’s 21 now, and it’s time to start getting serious about something, especially with people bleating about the recession ending and things picking up. But he certainly isn’t the first, nor will he be the last, 21 year old to be drifting, to not have their shit together. Maybe more is expected of him, because he has possibly the most potential out of anyone in the family.

2 thoughts on “Quitters

  • Reply Revanche October 29, 2009 at 17:00

    You had me feeling guilty for having lumped my brother into that category, I was semi-understanding the other POV until I realized that T’s only 21. Yeah … it is time for him to get on a path, sure, but you’re right, that is some hasty giving up on him. My brother’s going on 30 and still hasn’t got a clue, hasn’t got his life together, hasn’t even managed to pay a cent of rent for the past 8 months so he now deserves to be dismissed until he earns his way back.

    But T still has time so, congrats to him for finishing the course, and I hope that he finds a happy + productive path to travel soon.

    • Reply eemusings October 29, 2009 at 18:36

      OMG, i could write a whole other post on the siblings. But that might not be appropriate. And would definitely have to be passworded!

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