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Neither a borrower nor a lender be

Anyone ever get repeat requests to borrow money from family members? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.

I used to lend a member of T’s family money quite regularly. Small amounts – I’m talking $20 at a time. She always repaid it within the week; it just got annoying after a while. You know how once you’ve set a precedent, it’s hard to stop?

Anyway, it did stop, to my surprise (and fairly painlessly, too). Until recently. It all comes through T, though, who then relays it on to me. Mostly. In the past week or two I’ve called him up to ask about random cash withdrawals, which turn out to be for her. GAH.

It’s easy to be a bit blase  – after all, my overdraft facility isn’t costing me anything right now. (And after all, they’re more than generous with what they have: we’ve borrowed their snorkelling gear, tools, and currently have their gas BBQ at our place – I’m not sure if that’s permanent, or if they’ll want it back once they move.) But that’s not going to be forever, and like I’ve told T, we need to get out of the habit of falling back on it, especially for non-necessities. And while his income’s not regular and he still has a CC balance to pay off…he just has to keep saying no, no matter how hard it is.

6 thoughts on “Neither a borrower nor a lender be

  • Reply Stephany April 5, 2010 at 05:37

    My dad is a pro at borrowing money. (And stealing money) He would do it all the time with his mom, then my mom, and then my brother. Once I started working, I let him know he would not be borrowing money from me.

    It’s different when it’s someone I know needs it and will pay me back. But not with him.

  • Reply Amber from Girl with the Red Hair April 5, 2010 at 10:02

    I just don’t like lending money to anyone. Period. Eric’s family – especially his mom and brother – are TERRIBLE for asking him for money to support their retarded habits; gambling, smoking, drinking etc. I HATE IT and it’s definitely a major point of tension for us. Eric has gotten A LOT better at saying no since we first started dating though. Thank goodness.

  • Reply Tasha April 5, 2010 at 18:15

    Gee, that must suck for both of you. For T, I understand how it can be hard to say no (depends on who really). I suck at asking for the money back. I hope that he has no problem with that.

  • Reply Linh April 5, 2010 at 20:40

    Ugh I have this problem right now.

    I lent my brother $6000 last year because he had just broken up with his fiance and had moved back home. He needed to fix his car so he could get to work. He promised to pay me back once he did his tax return.

    He’s only paid me $550 so far.

    I am constantly asking him to pay me back ($100 a week) but it’s like getting blood out of a stone. Doesn’t help that he’s now back with his fiance and every time I ask him for the money, he tells me he has bills and fines to pay. NOT MY PROBLEM!

    It also doesn’t help that I’m currently unemployed and living off my savings.

    I will never lend anyone money ever again (with the exception of my mother).

  • Reply The Asian Pear April 6, 2010 at 14:12

    Oops. I hate to say this… But I tend to borrow money from my brother a lot. heh. ^__^;

    Not intentionally. We just always go to places that don’t take credit card or debit and I hate carrying cash around. I suppose I should be a good sister and stop asking as should T’s sister. heh.

  • Reply When your significant other’s family is a financial mess | Musings of an Abstract Aucklander October 21, 2011 at 18:10

    […] covered this ground so many […]

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