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March 24, 2011

7 Deadly Sins – Envy

This is part of a seven part meme! See below for the full list.

Hereby, 7 things that I lack and/or covet:

1. Better work hours. Yep.

2. A house of my own. Obviously.

3. An easy time of it. T and I are entirely self-made. We’ve been entirely on our own since 17. Without sounding self-pitying, and fully realising that we could have had it much worse, and also that I wouldn’t really want to have had helping hands from family, it’s sometimes hard not to envy, uh, everybody else that we know.

4. Close friends, SATC style. I know, I know, it’s not realistic. But still. Also, close family. I envy those with big, loud, happy extended families. My kids won’t have pots of cousins to play with or awesome uncles and aunties who dote on them.

5. Travel. I know we’ll get there, with diligent savings…but gosh.

6. Charisma/ease around people. I’m just not in my element in social situations. And completely out of my depth when a work dimension is part of the mix.

7. Better health. Better eyesight, better teeth, better skin, no allergies. I would also like to heal faster and get the flu less than, oh, four times a year? And how about throwing better coordination in there? I am the biggest klutz ever and perpetually bruised.

Day 1 – Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 – Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 – Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 – Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 – Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 – Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 – Lust. Seven love secrets.

March 23, 2011

7 Deadly Sins – Pride

It’s been awhile since I did a meme, and this one’s a goodie! Shoutout is due to Kim – you’re awesome.

The list goes:

Here are 7 things I take pride in:

1. I care about people. I don’t consider myself a people person at all, in the traditional sense. But I care fiercely about the people in my life. I actually do give a damn – I don’t just give lip service – and will do whatever I can to help them.

2. I get stuff done. If I say I’m going to do something, then I’m going to do it. Nothing bugs me more than people not following through.

3. I’m fairly money-savvy. I’m not materialistic and I have a love affair with saving (not that I ever save enough…who does? MORE IS NEVER ENOUGH)

4. I have never had to worry about my weight. This is really shallow, but yes, it’s something I’m grateful for. I’ve never had to work for this body (I have a fast metabolism and skinny genes, judging by my family). Of course, that didn’t mean I was remotely fit, but I started running last year and am not so heinously out of shape anymore. Also, I have quite shapely legs.

5. I have a lot of interests. I’m multi-faceted. A jack of all trades rather than a specialist, if you will.

6. I’m self-driven. I get my motivation from within.

7. I’m funny, sometimes. Usually in a caustic way.

Dude, that was, really, really, really hard. I think the hardest was going from #1 to coming up with a #2.

March 22, 2011

Work-life balance: Outdated? Achievable? A pipe dream?

By: Kārlis Dambrāns

The things I love about working in the online space also make it terrible for work-life balance. The immediacy, the connectivity, the multimedia – it all makes it difficult to disengage and switch off. Like me, some of you have a bit of an internet addiction personally; add to that at least 40 hours a week for work and it quickly gets exhausting.

I’m still holding out. I don’t have a smartphone myself (I drop my phones a lot and I refuse to pay the exorbitant data prices we’re charged in NZ), nor do I have one for work (I’ve always figured once that happens, you’re always expected to be reachable).

Yes, working in online, the hours can be awful, and like many other fields, longer for those higher up the chain. Even those lucky enough to have something close to a 9-5, Monday to Friday schedule, know they can be called in anytime.

None of the women in my department have kids. I don’t think this is a coincidence. I’m still years upon years away from even thinking about babies, but it is certainly food for thought.

Balance is something that’s really important to me. Or at least striving for it. This is a “passion” job, although like I’ve said, I certainly don’t wake up rearing to go. I wouldn’t want to be in any other industry at this stage, but money aside, I’d rather work less and spend more time pursuing my other interests. I happily put in overtime as needed, but I refuse to let work be my life. Or my life be work. It’s something that’s easy to get sucked into, and something I see in others in this industry.

Or is work-life balance increasingly a remnant of the past? I occasionally check in on the #u30pro Twitter chat; it’s aimed at young professionals, and most of the participants seem to work in media-related roles. I find all the talk of “authenticity” a bit tiring, but one of the things I’ve observed is that not many think balance is realistic – or even desirable. Which I think is most commendable, but there have got to be limits.

Where do you fall on the spectrum? Are you expected to be available outside hours? Is switching off easy/feasible/desirable?

March 21, 2011

In praise of New Zealand

As part of Blog4NZ, today I’m talking about some of my favourite Kiwi destinations. I’ll admit my knowledge is limited so far, still having never set foot in the South Island, but there’s plenty to be seen in the north as well. Blog4NZ is set to be a social media first, a grassroots blogging effort to support New Zealand travel in the wake of the Canterbury earthquake. New Zealand is still open for business!

There’s something to be said for living on an island nation. You’re never too far from the water.

Be it the shimmering black sand and rugged beauty of the West Coast beaches…

Or the pristine waters in the Coromandel…

But we’re not just all about beaches and surf. Keen for a hike through the bush? We’ve got some of that, too.

And powder for snowbunnies!

I can’t think of any kind of landscape – mountain, sea, lake, forest – that we don’t have. Or outdoor activities (apparently our skydives and/or bungy jumps are some of the best value in the world). There’s hot water beaches, stinky geothermal springs if you’re into that kind of thing, and tons of places to watch, or swim with, marine life.

But you know what? My absolute favourite landscape anywhere, hands down, is the Desert Rd. Desolate, unspoiled, breathtaking. No pictures can do it justice. It’s a harsh, dry, barren landscape: the clay-coloured cliffs, the sandy grounds, the wild grasses. And yet, there is something almost lush about the reds, the purples and the yellows of the earth and the flowers.I greedily soak up the juxtaposition, trying to imprint it permanently and vividly in my memory, but I am always amazed when I set eyes on it.

The first time I encountered this scenery was when visiting T at the army training camp in Waiouru; they do drills and practices and marches through the desert, which is why you can’t really stop and go wandering through the area. And it’s why this is one photo I’m bringing to you not from my camera, but courtesy of DeeKnow on Flickr.

March 21, 2011

Go-to dinners

Image via Wikipedia

You might recall that sometime ago I wrote a post on my favourite frugal lunches.

It only made sense that I follow up with a list of my go-to dinners, inspired mainly after we spent a good half hour wandering around the supermarket in Wellington on our last night wondering what to cook. Who knew I’d be so lost without my pantry staples?

Here are some of my favourites. I tend to make it up as I go along, obviously, sometimes using recipes as a starting point. I’m especially fond of one-pot or one-pan style meals.

Soy/ginger noodle soup: Noodles, veggies/meat of your choice, stock (could be chicken or vegetarian), some grated ginger, and soy sauce. Easy! (Slow cooker version here; I just do it on the stove.)
Laksa / Thai curry: Curry paste, coconut milk, veggies/meat of your choice. Prawns if feeling extravagant. If Thai, eat with rice or noodles. (Laksa authenticity bonus: Boiled egg, tofu/fish balls, two kinds of noodles – vermicelli and egg).
Lemon chicken: I like this recipe.
Sweet and sour (insert meat of choice): Vinegar+ketchup+sugar+soy = flavour explosion.
Chili: You probably have your own favourite chili recipe. Whee! Crockpots make chili 25x better.
Nachos: Either vegetarian or meat versions. (We tend to stay away from tortillas/burritos as much as possible as they’re insanely expensive. I may try making my own one day.)
Pastas: Either white or red. Sometimes you just need a hearty spag bol and an early night.
Stirfries: I really only have two versions: a sweet chili, or a soy/teriyaki. Some onion, garlic, and maybe ginger, with whatever vegetables and meat we have on hand. A bit of rice wine vinegar in with the soy, and cornflour if it’s too runny. Rice is cheaper, but noodles make it a little more special, IMO.
Shepherd’s pie: The ultimate comfort food! Mashed potatoes atop savoury mince. And it’s easy to mix in veggies.
Classic meat and two veg: So. Many. Variations! Whether it’s sausages, steak or a roast, or whether the vegetables are steamed, boiled, roasted, mashed, or in a salad. If T is left to his own devices, we also get some kind of improvised but wholly delicious gravy to mop up, usually with mushrooms and onions.
BBQ pulled pork: Easiest thing in the world with a crockpot. Here’s a starting point.
Beef stroganoff: I have not made this in forever! Tomatoes and sour cream, plus tender beef strips…here’s some inspiration.

Finally, we’re both big fans of Indian but I have yet to make my own curry that is superior to sauce from a jar.

But baby, we’ve come a long way. Less than two years ago I couldn’t cook anything to save my life and I hadn’t even made my first batch of cookies. Our shopping trolley consisted largely of:

frozen dinners and pies, for work lunches

for dinners, pastas, sausages, readymade jarred sauces, chips, wedges and frozen mashed potato, as we were too lazy and timepoor to make our own (it’s actually incredibly tasty, not the dried stuff, but the freezer stuff)

What are some of your staple dinner recipes? Share away in the comments.

March 19, 2011

Link love: Powered by Google calendar, and juggling acts

Another bumper two-week catchup edition! Life just doesn’t stop.

LIFE

She knows what I’m talking about – no rest for the wicked. Caroline basically sums it up perfectly in this post.

In the same vein…LL remembers when days off were fun. Now, too often, they’re sucked up by to-do lists.

Woah! A toddler who knows FOUR languages. How does she do it? Geek in Heels explains.

Do you, like Katharine, learn lessons the hard way?

A few neat wedding guest book ideas from My Pretty Pennies.

A fascinating post from Rachel Hills: we all think other people are more promiscuous than we are. The thing is, at least out west, they actually are! Here, acquaintances will knowingly (drunkenly, but still) hit on your boyfriend. At your own party. Cheat while their other half is in another room at the same party. And so on. Hey, remember my old flatmate?

The title says it all: Reflections And Advice From A Woman of a Certain Age (also, Oil and Garlic’s back!)

Meanwhile, Donna Freedman accidentally discovers her inner cougar. Sort of.

Here’s a super-comprehensive list of awesome WordPress plugin, via Marian.

And why I didn’t go to grad school (partly) – “It’s where you go to suck at the only thing you’ve ever been good at“.

Nicole and Maggie refuse to apologise for their success.

“How to be the woman in any boys’ club” – As a girl in a largely male group of friends (less so today, though), I love this!

Nicole Antoinette is quitting drinking, temporarily. What she says about using alcohol as a crutch is so true. That said, I was at a North Shore party last night – oh so different from parties out west – and it’s probably the only one I’ve ever been to where I didn’t feel completely awkward for not drinking. Also, for the first time, a stranger noticed my ring. Luckily, that didn’t last long – whether that’s because she was playing Landmines or we didn’t actually know each other at all, I’ll never know.

MONEY

Revanche reflects on living life on the breadline.

It’s tough having family members who barely get by, as Daisy knows. (As do we. Me: “Your mother really needs a car” – on us needing to pick her up for something. Him: “Yes, but I can’t afford to buy her a car.”)

As you know, food, among other things, is super pricey in NZ. But as Canadian Jacq asks, taking into consideration health insurance costs, don’t we break even?

Laura admits that money makes her crazy. Yes, yes it can…

A good question: How many bank accounts is too many?

Heh. Little House on 10 signs your frugality has gone too far.

Living Well on Less shares five easy switches to lower your grocery bill.

WORK

The Simple Dollar blogs about downgrading your job, without having to downgrade life.

I love the idea of having a board of directors in your life! As Little Miss Moneybags writes, she wants to formalise her mentoring/support network.

Just because a pitch is poorly written doesn’t mean it’s not legit, as Carol Tice shows us. (Also, a great guest post about essential qualities for a tech writer.)

Budgets Are Sexy features a woman whose side hustle is MENU PLANNING!

Shouldn’t we always be open to amazing opportunities? Not really, reckons Redhead Writing.

Five hard truths about working in social media, via Social Glitz.

Business is just like high school, says Jess from Makeunder My Life.

Are you a job snob? Amanda has principles when it comes to work, and she’s sticking to them.

Do you work in a cubicle farm? Ms Career Girl has a guest post on some interesting, alternative office spaces.

Stacking Pennies is wondering how to prioritise between two careers which may take a couple in wildly different directions for a while.

No new recipes this time! I still have a large backlog which I’m ignoring for the meantime…

March 18, 2011

What makes a relationship work?

The secret to a successful relationship Sometimes the most interesting conversations are born while doing the most mundane of tasks, like putting away the groceries. Case in point: T recently asked, “Why is it that we never fight, and everyone else seemingly has such major problems?”

Well, a lot of the people he knows are just prone to drama. That’s how they live. That aside…

I can honestly say I got a lot out of my first (and only other) real relationship. I got a lot of my immature and destructive behaviours out of my system. Today, I’m a lot more adjusted. More stable, emotionally. More secure. It helps when your partner (oops, fiance!) is happy to show affection and loves freely and unabashedly.

And just generally, age has put paid to some of those tendencies anyway. I do recall a few incidents in the early days of our relationship that I’d rather forget; I’ll just plead teenagerism, thanks. That, and maybe drinking – I rarely do that anymore, but certainly a few cringeworthy, diva moments on my part back then were alcohol-fuelled.

Not that we haven’t had our ups and downs. We broke up once, for a few days, in that first year. But thankfully, I was not too proud to go around and say that maybe I was too hasty in calling it quits. And we certainly argued about money after moving in together. And again, nearly gave up on it all during the dark days of 2009, aka, the long employment drought (I think I’ll avoid looking for a post to link back to in this case…). We were going around in circles, having the same arguments, stuck in an expensive lease for a damp house in a bad area.

Compatibility

I don’t believe any relationship is infallible. We have committed to getting married, but as strong as we are together, I can’t say for sure that there’s nothing that could split us up.

But the thing we have going for us is that we essentially share the same morals and priorities. We say, and show, that we care – every day.

Communication

Sometimes we snap at each other, but we’re big enough to know we don’t mean it. It’s just fatigue, or hunger, or another external factor talking. Sometimes this takes some lip-biting and silent huffing and a lot of patience, but it beats silly arguments for the sake of it. Mostly.

Over the years, we’ve gotten used to each other’s ways, where some of our friends are only just beginning to discover how many things a couple can clash about. Credit is due here to him; he’s really good at smoothing things over, and hates having the air hang heavy over us for long. And we are insanely comfortable with each other: No topic is off-limits for us.

Compromise

Also, he knows to defer to me, because I usually know best 😛

Latest case in point? I brought up the name changing thing last week, and he didn’t even argue (it’s been a point of debate in the past). Trust me, I hate my surname, but it’s mine, and it’s my byline. Changing was never an option; his name after mine sounds ridiculous, and it’s not any less unusual, either.

Thoughts? Are the three Cs – communicate, compromise, compatibility – what matter?

March 16, 2011

Not in a million years

I have decided one thing: Full body massages are not for me. They are equally as ticklish (and occasionally painful) as they are pleasant. I’ll stick to facials and back massages, thanks.

But lying there with my face in the hole, I got to thinking about jobs I could never perform.

Examples:

Massage therapist. I just don’t have the strength and stamina. I get tired after about 10 minutes of giving T a backrub. Plus, it’s just very…intimate. Not my style.

Hairdresser. I cannot stand on my feet all day. I tell you, after a couple of hours at a concert, my back feels like it’s on fire. Imagine 8 hours of that!

Driver. Taxi driver, bus driver, chauffeur…anything that involves driving.

Sales. Nope. No way. Never.

Actor: I’m far too self-conscious, and not very good at pretending.

Anything that involves working with sick or injured people. Blood, wounds, dislocated limbs…I’m a wuss. You can probably also add to that anything that involves working with dead bodies.

How about you? Or do you think you could turn your hand to practically anything?

March 15, 2011

Cohabiting = Compromise

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When T and I first started living together, it was good fun. First year uni was fairly cruisy, so while he worked 11-hour days, I took care of most of the stuff around the house. Eventually the situation reversed; I was busier, while he worked shorter days, and eventually, not at all. (I’ve written many a post about this trying time…very glad that’s behind us.) The thing is, while I needed him to step up at home, it wasn’t that easy. It’s an ongoing battle!

Cleaning: It’s a double edged sword. He doesn’t like to clean, nor does he do a good job of it….hence I basically do it all. That said, I had a 55-ish hour week this week, while he was at home (forced to take some leave before the end of the financial year) and was more helpful than usual. Kudos.

Bedtime: I like to stay up and read. Meanwhile, he goes to sleep a lot earlier than I do; he starts work at least four hours earlier than I do on a normal day. We don’t have a separate living room.

Food: Thank goodness he’s good in the kitchen. Nonetheless, as we’ve no longer eat convenience foods and cook more from scratch, our different tastes have made themselves known. For instance, having grown up on Chinese/SE Asian food, I’m used to dishes where stuff is already all cut up for me. I like things that are easy to eat. I never had prawns, steak, ribs, chops, roasts…and I often find them fiddly and irritating to deal with. I also hate anything that remotely resembles fat or rind on meat. If it were up to me, I would only ever eat chicken breast, stir fry beef, beef mince and the odd steak. Never pork. Instead, from time to time he serves up strange concoctions, like pork and kumara curry. They are not two of my favourite foods, but like almost all of his cooking, I was pleasantly surprised.

Luckily our taste in veggies is very similar – mushrooms, capsicums, and asparagus being three of our favourite. I am, however, a potato girl through and through while he’s a kumara devotee (sigh). Also, his opinion of what constitutes a dessert portion is obscene – think large dinner serving bowl or cereal bowl.

March 14, 2011

100 books in 2011

Progress is slow. For one, I’ve been putting in a lot of hours at work, and freelancing, and two, I’m currently stuck slowly wading through Tropic of Cancer.

WTF?

I’ll admit I have a bit of a potty mouth sometimes but the c-word is off limits. It’s ugly to the ears, but much more so to the eyes.

It also paints a truly revolting picture of Paris’ filthy side, which I’m not particularly enjoying – but I’m about 3/4 through and determined to finish. On the plus side, my vocabulary is certainly being extended.

Also, has anyone read the Your Face Tomorrow series by Javier Marias? Oops, I think I’ve already put my foot in it; it’s a novel in three parts, to be precise. In Volume One, the narrator is hired by MI6, essentially as an interpreter of people, predicting their future actions. In Volume Two Deza witnesses the violent side of his new boss. And the third? Well, let’s just say I’m reluctant to go into anymore detail in case you do decide to read it yourself

I first read about it in The Listener and was immediately intrigued. I found it very educational; it deals with war (the Spanish and World wars), as well as relationships, violence, and basic human nature. Of course, being a novel, just where the line between reality and fiction falls was not always clear to an ignoramus like myself.

But it was also a frustrating read. The word tangent takes on a whole new meaning. Marias segues into rambling parenthetical clauses, sentences that stretch for a paragraph, paragraphs that stretch to a page or more. And the narrative is just as relaxed, jumping from point to point in time.

I speed read. A lot. I lost my patience in the second book, but wanted to find out how everything would turn out (I’m annoying like that). And like Tropic of Cancer, it often sent me running for the dictionary. I bet the original Spanish version is even more lush than the English translation.

(See, this is why I could happily live as a lady of leisure. With books like these to challenge me, recipes to conquer, new songs and techniques to wrestle with…what more could I ask for?)

Also, have you added me on Goodreads yet?