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  • Seven tips for making conversation (with strangers)

    talking.studentsI read this blog entry at The Happiness Project the other day and thought “what the hell was that?” Most of them, I thought, were fairly straightforward. I couldn’t argue with them. Comment on general topics, shared  interests, ask open questions, react in kind.

    But a couple of things she mentioned were so ludicrous, seriously!

    • 4. If you do ask a question that can be answered in a single word, instead of just supplying your own information in response, ask a follow-up question.

    Fair call. Up till this point:

    • For example, if you ask, “Where are you from?” an interesting follow-up question might be, “What would your life be like if you still lived there?” If you ask, “Do you have children?” you might ask, “How are you a different kind of parent from your own parents?” or “Have you decided to do anything very differently from the way you were raised?”

    Oh really? Let’s see, if someone asked me how I parented differently from my parents, thirty seconds after meeting me, I’d have to try very hard not to turn and simply walk away from them, or barring that, try to resist shouting “WTF?” in their face. That’s super weird, super intrusive and super personal. Not an appropriate third “getting to know you” question, in my opinion. I would not take kindly to someone who did that and probably wouldn’t speak to them ever again if I could help it, and yes, I WOULD tell all my friends about that creepy person I met who asked about my parenting style or upbringing immediately after asking my name.

    • 7. A friend argues that you should admit it! “We’re really working hard, aren’t we?” or “It’s frustrating—I’m sure we have interests in common, but we’re having a difficult time finding them.” Clearly this is a desperate measure, but my friend insists that it works. I’ve never had the gumption to try it, I have to admit.

    Well, good on her. Even I, the queen of social awkwardness, wouldn’t bring up just what an awkward time I’m having with someone. There are some times it’s best to be straight up, but this really isn’t one of them. What do you expect to happen after putting it out there between you? “Wow, we really have nothing to say to each other!” “Yeah…so….lovely weather isn’t it?”.

    I find that how well I make conversation really depends on my mood. Sometimes I just don’t feel like talking and will go out of my way to avoid crossing paths with people, even ones I know. Other times I just can’t be bothered making the effort, especially if after efforts to engage in dialogue, the other person doesn’t respond in kind. But if I’m feeling good about myself and what I’m wearing and how I look (shallow, yes) it makes a world of difference and I could almost pass for an extrovert-in-training. Not so much with people older than myself, or REALLY IMPORTANT PEOPLE – they make me nervous –  but definitely with people around my age.

  • Hikoi

    Knocked off fairly early today, given that I didn’t have my 3pm lecture! I went to the Recycle Boutique to try on this dress I had my eye on for a friend’s party. Unfortunately, it was a gorgeous colour and everything, but size 14. I tried everything I could to make it fit but it was NOT gonna happen!

    I also watched the hikoi on Queen St for a bit. People on foot, waving flags and banners, people with loudspeakers, in cars and trucks and vans and utes, little kids in yellow raincoats.

    I think it’s amazing that people can come together for a cause like that, and be so committed as to walk for hours in the wet. Should have taken some photos, but I didn’t have my camera, and my phone camera is as shite as it gets. Yay democracy!

  • A full belly is a happy belly

    I’m sitting here rubbing my tummy with glee (sort of); I love when BF throws together epic meals like the one we just had!

    I should have taken a photo…grr. He made surf and turf with steak, prawns, mushrooms and onions (stir fried with a pinch of soy sauce) and a bit of KFC potato and gravy on the side (a weakness we both share…).

    Much as I loved the prawns, it was the mushrooms I wolfed down! One of my favourite fall back dishes was born from a desperate weekend brunch consisting of leftovers – toss in onions, mushrooms and canned tomatoes, and even better if potatoes can be incorporated somehow.

    We went to Countdown for the first time in a couple of months and made it out at $130. Which was pretty good considering what we bought – lots of meat, a few splurges and even some produce. This week we’re having nachos, chili, chicken giouvetsi, and fried cabbage.

    Standouts (in a good way): Cabbage half, 1.85; capsicum, 99c; 24 prawn cutlets, 5.03 (we don’t normally eat THIS well!!);500g brown sugar, 1.25; Nature’s Fresh bread, 2 for $5 (now we’re eating two loaves a week, I usually get name brand as there’s virtually always a 2 for $4 or 2 for $5 deal on); Select chilli beans, 1.59.

    Standouts (bad): “Breakfast” mushroom pack, 4.98; Raro, 1.79, Home brand milk 4.75 (thirty cents cheaper at PnS, get with it Progressive!!)

  • Saturday spending

    7.27 at Foodtown for eggs, milk and a lightbulb.

    3.00 at Unichem to pick up my pill prescription

    19.90 for a stick on silicone bra – this one really annoyed me! They used to be $10. I know I had one, but must have lost it in the move last year. Now I need one for upcoming parties, and was planning to pick one up on TradeMe, but only if I could get it for less than $10. I didn’t try hard enough, and went to buy one at the mall, only to find their price had doubled. Oh well.

    10.50 for a book (via TradeMe) for friend’s birthday present next week.

    Total: 40.67. Crikey.

  • Weekend wrapup

    It’s been a hell of a week.

    Sunday: Plumber was meant to come, according to LL. Never showed. Man, am I sick of being fucked around.

    Monday: Up at 6, went with BF to sit his full licence. His friend N turns up to pick us up (he was sitting his too, straight before BF, and lending BF the car for his)…only to inform us his registration had run out two days ago and he’d only just realised. But at 6.30am, there ain’t nowhere to buy a new rego. NOWHERE.

    Instructor tells friend he can fit him in at 3.30. BF rings around to see who he can borrow a car off. My friend M obliges, but turning up with one headlight out. It’s the instructor’s last day, and he says he’ll let it slide. Off they go. But they’re back in five minutes, because there’s a bit of fog and they need both headlights. In the meantime N has hurried off to VTNZ to renew his reg, and has returned. Instructor sets off with him to take his test. BF, me and M gun it to Repco to buy a new headlight. By the time N returns, it’s time for the instructor’s next test and BF has to wait half an hour.

    Halfway through BF’s test, he pulls back into the carpark. He comes over to me and M, stony faced, and informs us that the instructor pulled him over halfway through because of a scratching sound on the left side of the car, got out, KICKED both sides of the bumper, and caused it to fall off. (M’s car is a junker. But it is warranted, roadworthy, and has never had the bumper come off, that is, until this instructor saw fit to assault it). He then declared the car unfit to finish the test in.

    We ask the AA for a complaint form, which we fill out and return to the counter staff. Counter staff flat out REFUSE to fax it off to Christchurch HQ, despite not being busy and having a fax machine right behind them. No, we have to waste more of our morning, after that appalling experience, and invest more of our time and money into following this up. BF is fairly controlled, all things considered, and simply spits out “You make it impossible to complain” and we stalk out. You would think they would appreciate feedback and the opportunity to improve, but clearly their policy is to make it difficult to complain and hope that puts people off.

    BF calls up the LTNZ call centre, has a girl take down all the details, and she says he’ll get a response within three days. She says he may get a full refund. Which would be nice, even if it doesn’t make up for the time wasted. It’ll be weeks before he can get a resit. That’s how backlogged the AA are. Pity we can’t even boycott them, because nobody else does driver testing.

    Tuesday: Lugged BF’s crutches to town and around uni (well, to one lecture). Fax off complaint form to LTNZ for verification purposes (costs me a dollar and ten minutes waiting time). Bussed up to Grafton, walked across the bridge and to Auckland Hospital to return them. Lady at reception told me to leave them “by the doors where the lino starts”. Well, where the said lino started was by the lifts, and a corridor which clearly stated “staff only”. I wandered further down the wing and took a look all around to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. I also stuck my head into the “admin reception” to check there, and the receptionist told me there would be an “equipment pool” at the main reception. Trudged back there.

    Out of all the three staff, I HAD to be served by the same first lady. She snapped at me and insisted there were double doors there and I had gone “way too far”. I went back to the “start of the lino”, saw no doors, and promptly started crying. Stress, tiredness, and tiredness of everything in my life having to be so goddamn complicated. Even returning one pair of crutches.

    Thankfully, a security guard and a female volunteer took pity on me. The guard told me to leave the crutches by the lifts, and the woman had a little chat to me as I blew my nose, tried to dry my eyes and straighten my skirt. Then back to the reception with my receipt for my $35 refund. GOT THE SAME GODDAMN LADY again. She directed me round to the cashier around the corner….who refused to help me and insisted I had to go back to ED and fill out some sort of form there. Seriously. No wonder people go on shooting sprees for less. (Jokes. Sort of)

    Trudged down to ED, on the verge of more angry tears. Amazingly, the staff there were really nice. I filled out a form, and after a brief explanation of the situation to the puzzled girl I offered to go and try retrieve the crutches from where they were. Luckily, they were where I’d left them, and I signed that form and was told to expect a check in the mail. Well, all right then.

    After a full day, went to a pub quiz at the Horse and Trap (great atmosphere, pity the place is always packed, but we’ve been lucky enough to get a table every time as someone leaves right before the quiz starts). Started feeling weird aches in my neck, but tried to ignore them all night.

    Wednesday: Woke up feeling like the behind of a donkey. Except I had six straight hours of class starting at 8, and a test I had to sit and pass. (I aced it, BTW, 100%). I struggled through the day, feeling strange aches and pains in my neck, shoulders and back, alternate chills and flushes, whole-body numbness and that awful burning mouth feeling you get when you’re coming down with the flu. I made sure to hand in the two assignments I had due the next day, texted to say I had the death flu and wouldn’t be coming in to work, and left at 1pm to go home and pass out.

    Thursday: Awoke around 9, with the aches and pains gone, but a huge lump in my throat. Went back to sleep. Up at noon, sore throat staved off and feeling well enough to email my tutors to explain my absence. BF got the car towed to the workshop which did his clutch in December, where they said they’d have a look tomorrow and if it was in fact the clutch, then it would be under warranty still and all we’d have to pay is labour.

    Friday: No word back from the mechanics. Struggle through morning class, six hours of work, and home to dinner and bed.

  • All I want for Christmas

    is hot running water.

    And at this rate I’ll be lucky to get it by then!

    Plumber came today, spoke to BF and informed him there’s a leak under the house, and the mains needs to be moved up to the roof. But first someone needs to come with sonic equipment to detect the leak’s location, then fix it.

    Oddly enough, LL hasn’t been spotted much this week….

    Oh, and he then told him to not call him again as he wants nothing to do with this job, it’s just that “horrible”.

    WHOOPEE!

    Think LL is finally realising that buying a rental property was not the answer to his problem, but far from it.

    I doubt he has the cash to fix this, and I feel sorry for him, but that’s part of your undertaking when you become a LL. You need cash reserves for situations like this.

    Not to mention the lack of insulation, the damp and mould in our room, the windows that don’t quite close…

    Like I said, three more months.

  • Political blunders

    Dear oh dear, Melissa Lee’s gone and done it again.  lee_2301

    First the whole brouhaha about her saying the overground Waterview motorway would stop crims from South Auckland coming to Mt Albert (really? Makes zero sense to me), and last night’s unapologetic comment at the candidates meeting at Auckland University. “You guys are obviously students and do not watch television. I did actually say I made a mistake and I was sorry.”

    When will she learn? I can’t help but admire her feistiness and her speaking her own mind. But she’s obviously very fresh as a politician. Why would you want to alienate a massive group of students like that? The Mt Albert electorate includes Kingsland, Western Springs, Waterview, Avondale… suburbs with high student populations, with lots of flatting situations including students, recent grads and young workers.

    Not a smart move.

  • Stocktake

    I opened up my Excel sheet this week and saw that had everything gone to plan, BF would have paid off the Visa by now.

    Sigh.

    Life happens.

    I’ve more or less been paying on his car, because we combine everything, and he’s bringing in next to nothing on umemployment. Which I don’t mind, because it benefits me. Cars make life so much easier in Auckland. So if the car is not gonna be worth fixing, I don’t even want to consider that… But paying down the Visa is not something I want to do, have been doing or can afford to do. I get nothing out of that, in the sense that that was excesses from his accidents and related car repairs. That’s not something I want to be paying for. I guess that’s what comes with combining everything. You share the good and the bad.

  • Grocery shopping

    Assessing the damage….

    $147 for this week, so I was pretty close on guessing $150 at the checkout. I figured anything under that would be okay. considering it included a 5.50 carpet cleaner, $10 razors and $6 shaving cream for BF, I think we did pretty well.

    Here’s what we’re having for dinners this week:

    Lemon/basil pasta

    Lemon/basil pasta

    Chicken fried rice

    Peanut satay burgers x2

    Lemon and basil pasta

    Sausages with peas and corn

    Chicken/sour cream tortilla bake

    Bolognese