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Browsing category: Uncategorized

  • April 19, 2009

    Thoughts on a Sunday night

    There have been a lot of op-eds and columns about how 20somethings are being hit hardest by the recession. Last in, first out. Brought up with the idea that if you just worked hard you could get ahead. Thinking you should get a degree, find a job, buy a house. And how that’s just not true, and it’s all falling apart.

    I’m just glad we don’t have a mortgage.

    I know once we get through this, nothing will ever be the same again. I won’t take anything for granted. I’m going to be even more cautious than I was before. Nothing is for certain. Nothing is safe, nothing is assured, and it can all be taken away from you in an instant. Corps have no loyalty to you. All you can do is look out for yourself, be prepared for anything and pick yourself back up.

    I feel stressed a lot, and I freaked out today at the butcher’s because we had to keep it to $20 or less to stay under budget.

    It’s not like my card would have been declined or anything, but it would have been money we didn’t have.

    We got in at $21, and BF came up with a $5 bill from nowhere.

    “See? Now we’re UNDER budget,” he told me.

    Bless him.

    Please, let Work and Income DO something. DO their jobs and give him what he’s entitled to. $10. $25. $50. Whatever.Any little bit would help, and keep us afloat for longer. $100 would be gold. That’s about how much we’re falling short by.

    If this is being a grown up, REALLY realising that the only person with your best interests at heart is YOU….I don’t like it.

    As long as we can get through this.

    One step at a time.

  • April 19, 2009

    Things to do, places to see

    American culture is pop culture. Pop culture is American culture.

    Something we learned in first year Intro to Pop Culture (if I recall correctly) and so very true.

    I figured I’d make a quick list of things I want to see in the US when I get there eventually…one day. Maybe I’ll even remember to look this list up and refer back to it!

    Vegas (Photo)

    The Grand Canyon (Photo)

    Taco Bell (Photo)

    IHOP (Photo)

    Chinatown (Photo)

    Central Park (Photo)

    The MOMA (Photo)

    Just shopping in general (Photo)

    Am I too old to enjoy Disneyland? (Photo)

  • April 18, 2009

    Bad drivers

    This is going to be a long, rambly one.

    Right now I’d be happy to never leave the house again.

    It seems every time we do, we encounter some terrible, terrible drivers on the roads. And bad driving doesn’t just affect the bad driver. It affects EVERYONE else out on the roads.

    I’m sick of people racing through tiny gaps in traffic, changing lanes abruptly without indicating, going 20k for no reason or practically stopping while negotiating corners.

    I’m sick of people who don’t look when they reverse out of carparks, and don’t indicate, and pull random manouevres without checking for cars around them.

    It’s dangerous and it’s scary.

    I’m just tired of being constantly stressed (and this is just me in the front passenger seat, not even driving). Anytime someone nearly swipes us, or we end up braking suddenly, I get super tense for the rest of the ride and I freak out over the smallest things. It’s like every possible hazard magnifies 10x for me, and it’s happening more and more. I think the last time we drove anywhere without some heinous driver pulling at least one dumb stunt along our way was over a week ago. Honestly, it just ruins going anywhere for me.

    I know I’m letting it get to me but I am terrified of being in an accident. BF can’t afford to have any more accidents. In terms of being able to afford the excess, repairs for himself, and not to mention that insurance would probably not renew his policy.

    I do not like his car. I think it was a bad buy, but we’re stuck with it and are waiting to get it paid off.

    He doesn’t like it anymore either, but really that’s partly his fault (the worst damage was from an accident when someone hit him, but the rest did occur when he was at-fault). Now he doesn’t care what happens to it and every so often (like today) gets fed up and says things like, “I don’t care if someone hits me. It’s their fault. They’re not driving properly and if they write me off it’s not my problem.”

    I try time and time again to explain that he DOES NOT have full insurance. Full insurance for a year would cost as much as the car is worth! Full coverage is for pricey, pricey cars, owned by people who can actually afford to drive and look after them. Not for small rustbuckets.

    And inevitably he bitches and moans about why have insurance at all? One of his friends doesn’t. And that friend is an excellent driver who’s never had a crash, owns his car free and clear and has a more reliable car with less ks on the clock. Of course, he should still have insurance. But BF is never driving uninsured again as long as I have anything to do with it. 03-driving-us-course_l2_w728_h340

    Insurance is there to cover his ass if he hits someone so he doesn’t spend the next 50 years paying it off. If someone hits him, then yes they should pay out, but I wouldn’t count on that. Good luck trying ot get money out of their company by yourself. He only has third party and fire, so his insurance isn’t going to fight to recover any money from another company. We don’t pay them for that. We would have to do it ourselves…good luck for that, given how we tried that last time with the woman who hit him! It’s just not going to happen.

    Just drive safely! As frustrating as that is with the shitty drivers on our roads, who are just getting worse and worse, that’s all you can do. It’s boring, and painful, but it’s got to be done. BF has learned his lesson and drives much more carefully, but trying to get him to continue in that vein when nobody else is doing so, is really hard.

    Here’s hoping and praying the car lasts until it’s at least paid for.

    If he ends up going back to study, he won’t have much income for three years. Will the car last that long? How much is it gonna cost in repairs over that time? I don’t even wanna go there…

  • April 18, 2009

    Finally got around to going to DTR to claim my $60 refund.

    Wonder how long before it gets processed? I plan to use it to get another three months’ of contact lenses.

    Now hopefully I’ll never have to set foot in there again!

    I feel like I haven’t had any control of our money the last few weeks. I’ve been staving off the flu and some sort of stomach issue, and taking various medications has simply left me doped up and still unwell, and with BF not bringing any money in, it’s all very disorganised.

    We got a letter form WINZ informing us that as he did not “respond to a request for information, your application has been declined”.

    The letter was dated April 9. Over a week ago. And just three days after he actually went in for his first appointment.

    And, I might add, we never received any “request for information”.

    So now it’s over to calling the 0800 line and trying to get through to a human operator to find out what the HELL is going on.

    BF hates waiting on phone lines, especially when he’s 15th in line or whatever. Social services are just so overloaded at the moment and they seriously are not coping at all.

    I’m just trying to make his EF last as long as possible, because it’s not looking healthy.

    And now we have to deal with having no hot water. Turns out it was the cylinder, and not anything to do with the LL’s family staying. Now they’re gone, nothing’s changed – it’s just a coincidence our water went around the time they arrived. Hopefully that also explains why our electricity bills are so high! It’s summer for chrissake, and we’re using double what we did a year ago.

    Hope his insurance get it sorted super fast. He’s been made redundant too. And the weather’s getting colder, and my cold isn’t going away…cold showers don’t help any. Up until last week I was managing to squeeze in roughly room temperature showers – ie, the water was MARGINALLY warmer than my body – but those golden times are OVER!

    I just finished washing my hair for the first time in three days. I was forced to wash it in the basin (something I find damn near impossible, hidesouly uncomfortable, and messy), and this required me to boil two jugs of water.

    Primitive, no?

  • April 17, 2009

    Came across this story via Twitter.

    Funny how Asian names seem to cause westerners the most angst. I guess most of it comes down to the tradition of the surname going first. Plus, apart from the Japanese (and Vietnamese?) names are all single syllable, and sound (at least to me, probably not seasoned Asians) very androgynous.

    The media especially struggle a lot to get it right.  Usually you’ll see someone Asian referred to by two or three different forms. I remember one case where a little girl in Albany was kidnapped. They called her – at various stages as the story unfolded – Cina Ma and Xin Xin Ma. I can’t remember which was actually correct, but the cops somehow effed up early on and got her name down as something totally different to what it was (Cina and Xin Xin are miles apart!)

    My legal name is Chinese. Nobody calls me by it. I go by my given name, but when it comes to filling out forms and legalese, I have to put down my birth name. Like on my driver’s licence. It’s annoying, because I don’t feel it represents me. I can’t even have my name alongside in brackets or anything. (Rock on AUT. They let you go by your preferred name and print that on your ID card for all purposes).

    My first time sitting a driving test was not a pleasant experience. I was sitting in the waiting room with a bunch of other people. Most everyone else got called up and went off with their instructors. Then this big, red faced, grumpy old man came out. I thought “oh no, I SO DON’T WANT TO GET HIM”. But sure enough, I did.

    Everyone else had their names called out by their respective testers, so I was expecting to hear my name. Instead, the guy just stared at me, then beckoned me over.
    “You here to sit your test?”
    “Um…yea.”
    “What’s your name?”
    I told him my name. Then I backtracked, realising it was booked under my legal name. He didn’t like that one bit.
    “So which is it??”
    Then I had to spell my name out for him, which he messed up three times.

    It was a bad start. He was a total douche from then on, in every single way possible. Patronising, rude, picky and condescending. But I digress.

    I am seriously considering legally changing my name and will probably do so at some point. Not to accomodate bigots, or simple minded people, or assholes like that driving tester. Just because I like things to be plain and simple. I don’t want to be faffing around with two names and explaning myself. I want my name on files and records at work and uni to be the name that I feel reflects who I am. I want my name on my passport and licence to be MY name.

    Why haven’t I yet? It’s a hassle. It’s expensive. (Do you know how much it COSTS to get a new passport? It’s nearly two hundred dollars! It pisses me off no end when people want ID, and won’t take an expired passport. Hello? It has my name, photo, DOB, etc. What more do you want? Does my identity change once that expiry date has passed? Nooo. So unless you’re paying for it, I am not forking out for a new passport!) And my parents would probably feel a bit rejected. They went to an effort to choose a pretty name for me, after all. My kids are just going to have English names. I’m sure they understand that.

    To be totally honest, I don’t particularly LIKE my name. But it’s what I’ve got, it’s what I’m used to and I’ll stick with it. Sure, lots of people choose totally different names at 18 and go with that, but that’s not for me. I can’t IMAGINE getting everyone I know to call me something new, not to mention getting myself to respond to an entirely new name. Plus of course, I can’t think of any names I’d particularly like to go by! My name will do just fine for this life.

  • April 17, 2009

    Thwarted

    So, our midweek getaway didn’t quite work out as planned.

    It started off well. We got into town a tad early, so drove over to the Domain and decided to check into the museum. I haven’t been there in years, and because NZ has such shitty museums, am not generally a fan of them. I think they’re dark, musty and not that interesting. But Sue the Great T Rex was in town, so we paid $21 to get into that exhibition (and of course looked around the rest of the sections. I really liked the freaky birds. And the giant moa. And the intricate and not so intricate Greek Vases we studied in Classics back in the day…and yes, the dinosaurs were cool. Amazing that they didn’t all have heinous back problems. It must have been really uncomfortable to live in their bodies).

    We checked in our bags, got up to our room, fell in love with it. (BF hugged me, exclaimed “I love it!!” and jumped on the bed). Ran a bath, went up to the rooftop pool (an outdoor one, supposedly heated, but felt barely lukewarm and tasted super thick and chloriney). Back into the room. Started to get ready for dinner, and later the casino. Couldn’t find BF’s shirt.

    “Didn’t you pack it??? Where is it??? Don’t tell me it’s still at home???!!!!”

    “….I think so.”

    Not pleased. Why couldn’t he just have WORN it in? Why did he have to come in his raggedy smelly old singlet?

    Ran down, asked the valet for our keys, and hoped to God there was a nice shirt in the clean laundry we’d picked up on our way over.

    Nope.

    Just as well, since BF picked that exact moment to start feeling sick. After a few minutes in the toilet, he declared himself a victim to the latest tummy bug. Dinner abruptly cancelled.

    I ended up going out to get Thai takeaway from across the road while he lay in bed.

    Casino was off.

    I would still have gone anyway, but the friends we were going to meet changed their minds, and I sure was not going in there alone. I’ve never been before and going in by myself is not how I want to do it. I did go down for a looksee, and it simply annoyed me that there we were in the middle of town, staying in the most central, buzzing hotel and not making any damn use of it.

    BF puked a lot. I felt really bad for him and tried not to feel like everything was ruined. Like he said, we saved a bit by him not eating, and us not going gambling.

    The hotel was really nice. The shower/bath was a bit weird, in that there was a lever type thing that switched up whether you wanted the bath or the shower to run. It didn’t seem to work all the time – it was really niggly. Also, we were meant to arrive to two free easter eggs, and the room was meant to have a PS2. Neither of which was a big deal but BF insisted we paid for it and should get it….

    So he rung. And a nice guy came up to give us our chocolate (and I couldn’t work out how to open the door to him; I thought we were locked in, but the doors are just insanely heavy). They insisted that none of their rooms had game consoles, however (oh yeah? why do the TV instructions say otherwise? And your website?) Not that we would probably have used it, but I emailed them a brief feedback email anyway. Because the thing that was the worst, was the fact that instead of keys, they use swipe cards. Not just for the room, but in the lifts as well.

    We ventured out to find the pool and sauna. Our card wasn’t working in the lift.So we tried the stairs.

    Only, we couldn’t actually get OUT of the stairwell, because none of the doors opened from that side.

    It wasn’t fun.

    Eventually we made it down to the ground floor and thankfully escaped through there, but I could have done without those five panicked minutes…

    But the bathroom was amazing, the location and views and the facilities were good (I mean you’ve got restaurants, cafes, bars and the casino, just IN the building). And the bed! I looooove hotel sheets. I must find out where they get them.

    And our free breakfasts included in our Easter package (along with valet parking and a book of vouchers) weren’t too shabby. BF wasn’t up to eating, so I packed what I could in our bags.

    p4140226

    I just….get so annoyed when things don’t work out as planned. I guess that makes me inflexible. Like, I get set on going to a certain place one weekend. And then maybe someone’s car breaks down, nixing that idea. Then I’ll get upset and rail about things, do a spot of comfort eating, and sulk. I wanted this to be, well, not perfect, but NICE. Stupid stomach bug.

    And I guess that’s why I dislike planning things, as they inevitably fall apart. Valentine’s was a nice exception. We didn’t end up going to the restaurant I booked, but got room service (and it was divine). And birthdays are always pretty crap. I think I’ve cried almost every year on my birthday in the last four or five years. It doesn’t really help that it falls in the depths of winter, when it’s cold and dark and damp – not exactly cheer-inducing weather. I don’t like to hype things up. I usually get let down.

    Okay, end self pitying post. Tell me to shut up!

  • April 16, 2009

    Domestic goddess??

    family_bathroom_70_mainI did one of the strangest online surveys ever. It was about….toilet cleaning products.

    It didn’t make me feel very good about myself. My only excuse for my total ignorance is, well, I just don’t spend all that much time in the cleaning aisle. It gets a cursory run at most, sometimes not at all – unless we specifically need to pick up something. What do we ever need from there, except loo paper, bleach, Jif, and dishwashing liquid, washing powder? (I use vinegar and water, sometimes with a dash of detergent, for general cleaning).

    I sure didn’t know there were special products that go inside the tank. Or special toilet cleaning products designed for use on the rim and outside of the bowl. I thought toilet duck and the like were for cleaning the bowl, full stop. Then again, when I’m buying cleaning gear, I home straight in on what I want and never look at anything else.

    Am I more concerned with hygiene, germ killing, fresh smells or keeping the bowl sparkling white? Or with bottle tops that make my life easier?

    Jesus, it’s an effort just cleaning the toilet once a week, no need to get all deep into this territory.

    But it’s all got me thinking. Obviously, I will be a REAL grown up when I use disposable cleaning wipes on the seat and outside of the toilet every other day.

    And when I sweep up the kitchen more often than once a week.

    And dust the windowsills (ever).

    And actually have a reserve of food in the pantry/fridge, even at the end of the week.

    And have a spice rack, a range of condiments, baking basics and Tupperware for storing food.

    And when treats like ice cream and biscuits last more than two days in the house.

    Okay, maybe never. That’s all a bit daunting…

  • April 15, 2009

    Am I too controlling?

    Sometimes I can’t help but wonder. I take care of all our cashflow (I would say I’ve taken over, but since day one it’s been me at the helm. BF started working randomly after a stint of doing nothing back in our early days together, and needed to put down a bank account on his paperwork in order to get paid. He didn’t have one of his own, and since we were about to move in together…it was all very hectic; I don’t remember much about that time). I make our spending decisions generally, and I’m the one who does what little planning we do about meals and food and stuff. His allowance is his own, but not working = no spending money. Occasionally stuff he wants to do is really expensive (ie concert tickets) and doesn’t happen; one day hopefully I can get him to learn to put aside for things like that, once things stabilise.

    Tonight he was hungry and asked if he could have the tuna in the pantry. It was one of those things I chucked in the trolley thinking it would make lunch at some point during the week, but it’s already Wednesday night and we probably won’t need it. So right now he’s eating tuna and crackers, happy as larry.

    But then I felt bad that he felt the need to ask. I mean, if he hadn’t, it wouldn’t have been a huge deal. If it had been something that was really VITAL to my food plan I would have been upset, and I guess that’s why he checks in on things like that. With snack foods? Not so much. He goes right ahead and chows down, usually within 24 hours of having bought them. Sometimes I don’t even get a lookin.

  • April 15, 2009

    Home baking

    Every week we leave the supermarket with a “treat” food. Lately it’s been ice cream, sometimes it’s biscuits or cake or a baking mix or muffins or cookies or something drinkable.

    But it gets old. Shortbread is yummy. So is chocolate. And peanut and macadamia. There are so many flavours of cookies and chips and even chocolate, but once you’ve tried them all, then you’ve tried them all.

    So I’ve decided I’m going to bake next week. In fact, I’ll be baking our snack foods for a while (as long as I can stand it!) Cakes, muffins, cookies, cheesecake – well, I plan to get no-bake cheese cake mix, but everything else WILL need actual time in the oven.

    That way it’s healthier, super fresh, and fun to make! We can make whatever the hell we want; the possibilities are endless, and we’ll get more for our money.

    I just hope it all works out well. Might do a couple of pre-made mixes to start off with. I’ve never successfully made a cake or cookies of any sort, so it could be a journey and a bit.

    Any ideas for simple baked foods? I have a really sweet tooth, and am this week tempted by Closet Cooking’s cake with Bailey’s frosting. But I’d say that’s a bit beyond me right now. I LOVE all his recipes; he’s a genius. But most of them are too advanced, or too much work for me. (And am not keen on putting beer in a cake. And I’d probably drink the Bailey’s. Maybe….these lemon bars. Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking…mmm.

    meyer-lemon-bar-500

  • April 15, 2009

    Here‘s a sad story for you.

    Would you stop and help a girl who told you a strange man had been following her for miles?

    What would you do?

    The woman she approached had a car – she was filling it up at the Waterview BP. She could have offered to drop her home, and driven her safely to her doorstep.

    But she didn’t. She just told her to be careful. Easier said than done, right?

    Whatever happened to community spirit?

    I wonder though, what else could that poor girl have done? What if a random guy was stalking me as I walked home? I guess my first call would be to BF and hope to God he picked up. I might try to go into the BP station, explain things to the station attendant and just stay there until someone could pick me up, or something like that. I wouldn’t want to be trying to make it home on my own.

    It’s got me a bit freaked out, because Waterview is only a couple of suburbs over. I don’t do a lot of walking, but it’s still enough to make you worry.

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