You asked for it

So, apparently I skipped over the “key part” of my last post. (Um, sorry? I guess I find it easier to gush about sightseeing and sushi than lifetime commitments.) I’m not really sure what to say! Was I surprised? Not entirely; he said he had a surprise for me, and we’d been talking a bit more about marriage in the last few months than usual.

We were about to settle into a nice spa bath to relax after the drive down; I was already in when he ducked back into the room, shutting the door behind him (that’s weird, I thought) and before I knew it there he was back in front of me, pulling out a ring.

Then we had a soak, wandered down Cuba St, and met up with the boys at the Macs Steamship bar where they hummed Here Comes The Bride as we approached.

What can I say? We’re both pretty down to earth people. I didn’t realise just how blase I was about the whole thing until I was asked “Did you cry?” (the thought never crossed my mind) by one of his mates’ girlfriends outside Te Papa (I’m not generally a fan of museums but Te Papa is a goodie. I particularly enjoyed the refugee stories project, the Brian Brake photography exhibition and the “Guess the Decade” game in the Kiwiana section.)

I’ve only told three people so far myself; thankfully the guys understand. Example: J took one look at us and said “Long engagement?” Dude gets it. Not so much the girls. For them, it’s more “so why even bother getting engaged now?”

Apparently we’re the only people in the world who see engagement as a commitment to have a wedding (eventually) rather than the impetus to start dress shopping and designing invites. ARGH. I think Red said it best a while ago something like “Ah, you see it as another step in your relationship, not a short sprint to marriage.” Precisely.

I refuse to make the announcement via updating my Facebook relationship status. Or by text. People are gonna hear when they see me, or via word of mouth. (I’m actually not sure when an appropriate time to do the Facebook thing will be. I’ll figure it out.) Uh, also, I have yet to tell my parents, which is probably the scariest part. Almost as scary as when I told them about getting my period.

And I haven’t even got around to any wedding talk, but I can assure you there will not be an avalanche of wedding posts anytime soon. More on that soonish…

And finally, nope, no obligatory ring photo. They all look basically the same, so we’ll skip all that, shall we? – even though this one doesn’t because it’s about 100 years old and was his grandmother’s. I have tiny fingers and the ring design means it can’t go down any more sizes, so we’ll have to figure something out on that front.

20 thoughts on “You asked for it

  • Reply Amber from Girl with the Red Hair March 9, 2011 at 15:51

    Awww I want to see the ring, though!!!! ESPECIALLY since it was his grandmothers – I think that is so, so cool!!

    Congrats again!

    Also, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a long engagement. I want to be engaged AT LEAST a year! However, I also think there’s a line (one of my friends has been engaged FIVE years!) haha!

  • Reply Alotta Lettuce March 9, 2011 at 16:21

    Congratulations to you both!

    The process of planning a wedding is just about the most ridiculous thing you’ll ever experience, but the payoff sure is fun!

  • Reply unknowntheartist March 9, 2011 at 16:23

    Congratulations to you both.
    MOH and I recommend a long engagement too, it’s a fun ride.
    I agree with not placing it on FB right away. Great news like that should come from direct from the bride and groom to be, not from a computer.
    Once again, congrats and the best of luck with the ring. A good jeweller should be able to help in this case.

  • Reply Sense March 9, 2011 at 21:07

    thanks for the additional details…we single gals gotta live vicariously!!! Sounds like he knows you and what you like very well. 🙂

    this is totally off topic for this post, but I was worried that this question would get lost in the engagement shuffle two posts down: you mentioned taking fish oil ‘properly’ in your other post; what does that mean exactly? i want more energy! the cooler NZ weather is already taking its toll on me after the warmth of australia…

  • Reply gem March 9, 2011 at 21:13

    I mean, sushi is pretty cool, but an engagement… more cool. But I totally feel you on being nervous to tell the parents. I can’t imagine even telling my mom about a boy until it was possible we’d be engaged. Maybe I just won’t ever tell her about a boy until he proposes and then I’ll be like, “So, this guy proposed and I said yes! He’s cool, you’ll like him, lol, good times!” …it’s weird to talk to parents about boys sometimes haha.

  • Reply Emily Jane March 10, 2011 at 02:43

    I would still love to see a pic of a 100 yr old ring! And I think my engagement announcement in my blog was pretty small too – a little sentence in a big post about my work retreat lol. Congrats again!

  • Reply nicoleandmaggie March 10, 2011 at 02:46


  • Reply TanyainBrooklyn March 10, 2011 at 03:45

    I have his grandmother’s ring, too! We wound up buying a ring guard for it. Not optimal, but it worked.

  • Reply Red March 10, 2011 at 04:13

    Congrats! (And thanks for the link! ;))

    I didn’t have any urge to cry when Mr. Red proposed until I was on the phone with my dad and he asked, “So how does it feel to know someone wants to spend his entire life with you?” Then I broke down a little bit!

  • Reply Investing Newbie March 10, 2011 at 04:23


    I just want to say, continue being yourself. This is a moment in time to celebrate your relationship with your bf, not some hollywood rom-com rendition where the girl has to cry and can barely even answer the question.

    I’ve envisioned it not even being an ordeal for myself. Maybe I’ll be watching Jersey Shore and the proposal happens during commercial and we go right back to watching the show. LOL.

  • Reply Insomniac Lab Rat March 10, 2011 at 04:39


    I don’t know how long of an engagement you’re thinking of (or if you even have a set timeframe in mind), but I was engaged for about 2 years, and that was a good amount of time for us- we got engaged when we were ready to, but not married until it made sense with where we were in life. Some people didn’t get it, and for the first year or so, when we hadn’t set a date or done any planning, I got weird questions about whether we were “really engaged”. Whatever, they just didn’t get it.

    I wasn’t going to change my relationship status on Facebook until I had told more people in person, but then people started writing stuff about it on my wall, so I figured I might as well change it, made a few phone calls to “important” people, and changed it. And telling my parents was definitely scary!

    Anyway, congrats again, and have fun planning whenever you start 🙂

  • Reply First Gen American March 10, 2011 at 13:11

    Thank you for sharing your story. I loved wedding planning. It was fun, especially finding creative but cool ways to save money along the way.

    Good luck on this next chapter in your life. I wish you all the best.

  • Reply fabulouslyfrugirl March 11, 2011 at 15:43


    Sorry, I seem to be the last to wish you well on this new chapter of your life. Don’t worry about what other people think. It’s your engagement and its about you and T, and the life you will have together. Everything else is just bells and whistles.

    All the best! *hugs*

  • Reply SS4BC March 12, 2011 at 17:18

    Honestly, I’d say that you should change your FB status but then delete the announcement to it. That way it is changed, but you don’t have to hear a million different comments about it. But wait, of course, till you’ve told your parents before you do it. =)

    I think there is a setting where it doesn’t make a feed post about it as well… not sure on that, but I’m pretty sure you can change your relationship status without it being on the news feed.

  • Reply Fine, fine: a very special link love. « Grumpy rumblings of the untenured March 12, 2011 at 21:37

    […] Congratulations to eemusings! […]

  • Reply SP March 13, 2011 at 08:07

    I’m a little late to the party, but congratulations!

  • Reply Nicky at Not My Mother March 15, 2011 at 14:19

    Congrats! Great news. And I want to see the ring too! I’m with you on the long engagements, we ended up being engaged for over 2 and a half years before we got around to getting married. Somehow, it seemed more important to me that we committed to say “yes we will” rather than “I do”. 🙂

  • Reply Lindy Mint March 17, 2011 at 10:36

    Congratulations !

    I found it awkward announcing my engagement to the people in my daily life – but I’m not an emotional gusher either. Especially since we knew we would be getting married, the engagement just makes it official in a public sort of way (?)

    Enjoy your new hand candy 🙂

  • Reply Friday Finances and Fun « Stacking Pennies April 30, 2011 at 03:37

    […] to Well Heeled and eemusings for becoming engaged! from → Uncategorized ← Summer Travel Plans […]

  • Reply The Everyday Minimalist April 30, 2011 at 05:11

    Congratulations! 🙂

    I agree with you — it’s another step in the relationship, not a forced sprint to marriage and the idyllic lifestyle (and wedding) girls dream about.

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