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Browsing category: Uncategorized

  • September 16, 2011

    Living with friends. Yay or nay?

    Living with friends - is it ever a good idea

    Modified CC image, original by Flickr user stevendepolo

    When I first moved out on my own, I lived with one of my good friends. Nobody would rent to a couple of girls under 18, so we ended up moving into a six-bedroom house with a bunch of strangers. There were good things about that arrangement: rent included all bills, and the setup was a rare one: each tenant paid their share to the landlord directly. There were good times hanging out watching movies, gossiping and consolation when my ex and I broke up.

    But having so many classes together and, often, catching the same buses everyday, as well as living together, was a bit much sometimes. Our bedrooms were on separate floors and by no means did we spend all our spare time at home together, but I suppose I’m just not social enough to make something like that work.

    Later on, after T and I moved in together, we also lived with mates of his and a mutual friend. Those never ended well. Inevitably the financials caused awkwardness (partly my fault – I have no problem talking about money here or in real life, but asking for it – even when it’s for paying the bills – doesn’t sit right with me). Chores were a whole other can of worms – lord knows there are enough posts on this blog on that topic from those years. Flatting with friends in all of those cases proved a mistake.

    We’ve discussed possibly living with one of our friends in order to get a bigger and nicer house, but I’ve always dismissed the idea – although it might actually work, because he’s quiet and likes to do his own thing, like me – because I just don’t want to jeopardise that relationship. Likewise, another of my best friends used to talk about us all getting a house together and having a merry old Friends-esque experience (before going overseas and returning to plunge into poverty as a grad student, that is, scrubbing all talk of that dream).

    What’s your take on living with friends?

  • September 15, 2011

    Buck up, it’s bucket list time!

    Snorkeling at Xel-Ha

    Image via Wikipedia

    What’s life without some daydreams?

    I have a really extensive personal bucket list, which I’m keeping track of (loosely) at dayzeroproject.com. Separate from that is a hefty travel bucket list, which you can find over here.

    I had the gleeful experience of recently crossing off a few items – cook for my family, visit a Pacific Island, run a 10k – but by far the majority of things are yet to be ticked off…

    Some are obviously years away, like buy a house and go on a cruise (well, the latter is within financial reach, but I figure that can wait a while. Cruises can be taken at any age, backpacking cannot).

    Here’s a sprinkling of some of the things I’m hoping to do sooner rather than later:

    • Make pasta from scratch. (YOU BE CRAZY? YOU CAN BUY THE STUFF FOR LESS THAN $2 A PACKET! To which I say, some things you just gotta try once for the fun of it.)
    • Snorkel across the channel at Goat Island. (Snorkelling is fun, but tiring!)
    • Go to the theatre. (Not a cinema. The theatre. For a show.)
    • Donate blood. (That may still require me to gain weight, and I don’t own a scale. Anyone want to lend me one?)
    • Learn to park like less of an amateur, dammit. (Hmm. This one’s pretty subjective. But I’m definitely not there – wherever that is – yet.)

    What are some of the things on your bucket list?

    (This post is part of the the $500 Budgets are Sexy giveaway, sponsored by Life Insurance Finder)

  • September 13, 2011

    The more things change…

    Leap of Faith - Krabi Thailand

    I recently had the privilege of interviewing a woman just a few years older than me, who runs a successful business and is on the cusp of going global.

    Although in some ways we are similar – while most others in their late teens to early 20s were busy partying, I was fully independent, working all hours to make ends meet while doing my degree and she devoted her time to opening her first stores and starting a family.

    I asked if she felt like she had missed out on anything, and how she managed to juggle all these demands at the same time.

    But like, well, all other successful people, she told me it was about maximising the use of your time. “So many people don’t do anything with their evenings.”

    Since reclaiming my weekends and evenings, I have to admit, I haven’t been doing anything all that amazing with that time. The first few weekends were just spent enjoying time with T that we hadn’t had in over a year. Going to the farmer’s market. Then planning and organising our Rarotonga and Wellington trips. Then dealing with car repairs, dentist appointments, motorbike stuff. (And of course, the usual – cooking, reading, music). Now I’m going to turn some of that time over to pre-wedding planning.

    I’ve talked briefly before about how dreams change as you get older. And Stacking Pennies tackled a similar topic the other day, that of lost possibilities, because certain doors close with the passage of time.

    The funny thing is, most of those previous aspirations I had are so much more attainable these days. Everyone seems to be writing and publishing their own books or ebooks, you don’t need a record label to become a star, and becoming a web designer seems to be another thing that everybody is doing.

    Not long ago I attended an amateur musical for the first time in a very long while. Now, usually at the end of these performances I feel a bit of a pang; I’m not a performer by any stretch of the imagination, but I love the buzz that comes with being involved in a show (granted, it’s been six years since I had anything to do with one). I didn’t feel that at all this time. I watched as they spun each other through waltzes and tangos, and rather than wishing I had their mad skills, I was content simply to admire. Maybe it was the fact that the plot and songs were beyond dreadful. Or maybe it really was just me.

    I think what I’m trying to say is, I don’t quite know what I want anymore. I know myself better than I ever have. I know where my weaknesses lie. I know where I draw the line.

    Once I would have laughed at the thought of being a SAHP. Yet more and more, the idea appeals, at least part-time or at least for a few years. Once I would have laughed at the thought of even considering throwing financial security to the wind and going travelling for an extended period at some point down the line.

    I suppose I just need to accept that my dreams are going to continue to evolve, even if I don’t know where they’re going just yet.

  • September 12, 2011

    A long overdue wedding update

    Wedding Photography

    Image via Wikipedia

    Every once in a while – a little more frequently these days – I bring up wedding talk with the boy. He’s always more enthusiastic than me to get started. Now that I am off shifts and weekends, I said we can *casually* start scouting for locations. I anticipate finding the right venue will take some time (it doesn’t have to be in Auckland, either), particularly as we are budget-conscious.

    Other things decided by me so far:

    • My ring will be a ruby ring, which I will wear on my right hand.
    • My bridal party will either consist of his two nieces (which means I’ll be able to pay for their dresses, and pick whatever colour I want) and possibly my best girlfriend as maid of honour (which is a maybe) – or just my dudes. My three best guy friends have always been there for me. And while I love the idea of girltalk and getting ready together, I am also aware I’m not really one of those females, and will need that alone time before spending an entire day in the limelight surrounded by people. My guys can always be there for company if I need it. Did I mention one of them bought me this cute notebook for wedding brainstorming?
    • There will be no train, veil or high heels involved. There will be shoulder straps and pure white (no cream or off-white). I will probably need to start looking at dresses sometime soon – I want to ask T’s mum to make it, but I’m still going to need to try on some and get inspiration.
    • I want it all in one place to reduce hassle/logistics, so the venue will probably not be a church

    Now, food could be a battle. T has thrown in the idea of a hangi-type feast –  roast pig in the backyard, etc, which is a bit too bogan for my tastes. Um, and I don’t even like pork much (plus I have vego friends).

    I kind of like the idea of an all-dessert menu (which he has both embraced and poured cold water on, on two separate occasions).

    We’re also contemplating self-catering, depending on how small the guest list is and what we actually want to serve. I guess that decision will be made a lot further down the track.

    As to dates? For me, the honeymoon comes straight after the wedding – not negotiable – so our date is going to depend on the destination, essentially. I think we want to do Italy and Greece, either in spring or autumn (which would be the opposite season here.) I like the idea of the double bonus: getting married in off season, and travelling in the off season. Let’s say we get married in April or May – that’s not peak wedding season anymore to my knowledge, and it’s not peak tourist season in Europe either. And no, I don’t mean next year. I’m not insane.

    What am I missing at this (very nascent) stage, guys? Any helpful sage words?

  • September 11, 2011

    Link love (Powered by cinnamon bread and boots not made for walking)

    It amazes me how universal something like a sport can be. New Zealand is hosting the Rugby World Cup, and while I couldn’t care less about rugby nor do I understand how the game works (league, despite the off-field reputation of its players, seems much more civilised and logical to me, because it’s pretty similar to the touch rugby we played growing up), it was something special to witness the crowds who trekked up Mt Eden to watch the opening ceremony fireworks, and to be seated in a comfortably full pub watching the game.

    It was total carnage up there. We made the wise decision to bike up (yep, my first ride on a motorcycle involved ascending a volcanic cone), as the peak was already well filled up with cars. Families with children and strollers walked all the way up, while others clambered up the trails through the grass and mud in the dark. Madness.

    I honestly do think we had the best vantage point – up close, apparently the fireworks were extremely smoky, and you wouldn’t have been able to see the full effect of the laser lights bouncing from roof to roof if you were in the midst of it. I had plans to go into town following the game and meet up with friends who had been at the waterfront since 3pm, up close for the entire launch ceremony – but twitpics of the masses on the sidewalks and in the middle of the street, tweets from friends and otherwise about the chaos, the public transport breakdowns and most importantly, a message from the police urging people not to go downtown unless necessary convinced me otherwise. I honestly doubt I would have been able to find them at all, let alone for us to go out clubbing after. I’m amazed my friends even managed to get on a bus home.

    Aside from that, my weekend consisted of sleep, T and I cooking dinner for my parents, and experiencing authentic Mexican food at Ashi Itzcalli – where we were the first customers in while everyone else headed either to town or Eden Park for the RWC launch – and got complimentary beers shot through with lime and Tabasco, and had my first taste of chili paired with cocoa.

    How were your weekends?

    LIFE

    Fantastic stuff. Fearful Adventurer on what to do when people don’t support your dreams, plus some awesome graphics.

    Not all couples are in a rush to move in together, writes Frugirl.

    10 steps to getting your wardrobe to where you want it to be, via Everyday Minimalist.

    Eat Move Write muses on the messages society sends to men about dating and relationships.

    Super Frugalette on the realities of having a disabled child in the family.

    Sound Bites on letting go of the nostalgia of youth.

    20 and Engaged blogs about keeping the flame alive.

    WORK

    Some great advice from Hithat’smybike on job hunting in today’s economy.

    Diary of Why on teaching in New York City and knowing when to quit.

    Sometimes Working Girl just wants to be a housewife.

    MONEY

    “The less you make at your day job, the easier that income is to replace” – Alexis Grant on one overlooked benefit of a low salary.

    Thousandaire shares his awesome definition of “rich”.

    FOOD

    Perfect timing! Roasted eggplant with mint and tomatoes, thanks to Smitten Kitchen.

    Also soon to be in season: corn. As in Closet Cooking’s corn and tomato pie.

    Another winner from my fave minimalist cooking blog Stone Soup: lemon cake.

    Jess B gives three bean, couscous and steak salad a whirl.

    Plus summer spring rolls, at Not Eating Out in New York.

    And finally, three posts on the 10th anniversary of September 11:

    “I’ve been out of the news business for five years. In that time, my human side has been reborn. Now, I watch footage from 9/11 and I have to fight back tears.” Shiftless and Lazy.

    “If you want to see anxiety, pen a few hundred journalists up in an airport, unable to go anywhere, as one of the biggest stories of their lives is unfolding an ocean away.” Strange Attractor.

    “The legacy of the World Trade Center is the stories of people who survived. And in those stories, I hear a symphony of assurances that it’s okay to get off the fast track. Because you can still feel fulfilled. It’s okay to earn half of what you’re earning now. It’s okay to put your kids in a bad school. It’s okay to have a mediocre career or a mediocre house. It’s okay even if you just rent forever.” Penelope Trunk.

  • September 9, 2011

    What we spent: August 2011

    As you might recall, August was to be the month of Austerity.

    More or less.

    It didn’t *quite* work out that way.

    We had that planned trip to Wellington (which was cheap as flights and hotel were paid for earlier, so this was just transport and food/drinks). Our car got some much needed, well overdue work done. And the big one: T replaced his stolen bike with a fully legal, fully running, lean mean machine. It is registered, insured, and quite pretty. And now he owes me big. As in, that motorbike cost almost as much as I’m hoping to spend on our wedding.

    But in terms of eating out, groceries, clothing and regular spending, we ran a pretty tight ship.

    Some highlights:

    Car maintenance – New brake pads and radiator.

    Dining out – Squeaking in under that $160 mark!

    Fees – a couple of ATM withdrawals (T…) and credit card fees (repaid with points, so really I shouldn’t even count them on here).

    Groceries – I am super stoked especially as this was for five weeks!

    Holidays – Food, drinks and transport for Wellington.

    Insurance – For the bike.

    Motorbike – The bike itself cost just under $4200, plus we got a bit of work done on it, and other bits and bobs – petrol, a backpack for T to carry stuff around, bike lock, those things that go on the ends of the handlebars for balance, etc.

    T fun – On par, perhaps at the high end. He’s started playing poker with friends (games are on AT LEAST three times a week, it’s ridiculous – but he knows he can’t afford to play that often).

    Utilities – Nothing exciting to report there.

    Vehicle – Still costing $80-90 to fill up every week. Hoping this will be reduced with the help of our two-wheeled friend. Our distances travelled are only increasing, though – I need to get to more meetings for work, he visits friends all over the place all the time, goes to the gym multiple times a week, wrestling shows every other week, and if he gets into the league, he’ll be going to training God only knows where and how often.

  • September 6, 2011

    100 in ’11: Flaubert, Gerhart and Antonioni/Flynn

    Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert

    Summary: I liked the blurb so much, I’m just going to pinch it – Emma is the “original desperate housewife”, struggling to find meaning in life.

    Emma Bovary is married to an incompetent doctor who dotes on her. She likes fine things, but most importantly, she has seemingly unrealistic romantic ideals – although men flock to her, she’s constantly searching for love and is always disappointed, leaving a string of failed affairs in her wake. She apparently suffers from depression or a similar illness coupled with a delicate constitution, and I came to find her constant misery grating (a sign of true-to-life writing, I suppose). Eventually she masterminds her own destruction, spiralling deeper into financial and emotional debt with horrendous consequences for her husband and child. Interestingly, all of the characters are flawed to some degree, none of them particularly likeable, and this was apparently a groundbreaker at the time; realistic fiction which didn’t moralise to readers. A fantastic if grim read.

    The Perfect Wife – Ann Gerhart

    Summary: A skeletal biography of Laura Bush.

    After American Wife,I was keen to find out more about the real Laura Bush, and this was one of the books Curtis Sittenfeld drew heavily on, she said. Thing is, the real LB was also intensely private, and Gerhart had very little to work with. The First Lady refused to be interviewed by her, so ultimately, it’s a bit like the literary equivalent of a brand new colouring book, outlines waiting to be filled in.

    Economics for Dummies – Peter Antonioni, Sean Masaki Flynn

    Summary: It’s economics for dummies, baby.

    What can I say? This was the perfect book for me. It covers macro and micro economics, super exciting things like trade, GDP, and plenty of graphs (which I’ll happily admit mostly went over my head). Especially interesting, although not particularly relevant to me or what I need to know, were the models for optimum production for businesses and economies of scale – and how governments use policy to manipulate the economy. I’ve always wondered WHY, exactly, we have inflation. Could we not just hold prices forever? But of course, we all want to earn more, we all want to get ahead, so the race to outpace the CPI continues.

  • September 5, 2011

    Link love (Powered by noodle houses and driving fails)

    Today is one of those days where curses are being slung around the house and love is on the backburner. Tired, cranky and hungry = cocktail for conflict.

    But I can think of three good things to write about, so let’s focus on those instead:

    – My decision to take a full scholarship and graduate as a journalist is validated every time I hear stories of non-journalism majors not even being able to get an editorial assistant position. Even fellow Communications degree-holders who didn’t do journalism have barely a hope in hell – and it’s just as tough for BA grads, even if they took media studies.

    – We went over budget this week by $10 for the first time in more than a month, and I couldn’t be happier. I happened to be lunching at a cafe in Ponsonby, and popped into the nearby Nosh on a whim. Talk about a pleasant surprise! Quality was, of course, far superior to other supermarkets – but thanks to a host of amazing specials, it wasn’t too bad on price either. We did most of our shopping there – $3 for eggplant, $2 a kg for potatoes, $1 a kg for kiwifruit, $6.50 for four litres of milk, and more, made the decision easy. We also picked up some pancetta, four kinds of cheese (more than $20 worth) and some amazing cuts of organic meat. Seriously, I’m thrilled, and resolve to visit the branch near our house more often (we’ve only been there once, though the sales then weren’t as impressive).

    – Plans are afoot! New Year’s is booked (we’ll be staying at a house in the Coromandel which some of T’s friends are renting) and going to Coro Gold, and I want to fiiiiinally visit Hot Water Beach and Miranda Hot Springs on the way there. I’m not crazy enthused about either the concert or the company, but I am keen to get out of Auckland and actually do something special to celebrate for the first time in years. I also want to find time to visit my friend up north and the Kai Iwi Lakes.

    WORK

    How to grow some balls at your next networking event, on Brazen Careerist.

    Jen at Bullish on the things she wishes she’d known at 18. Amazing.

    Ms Career Girl reminds us to trust our instincts and shares a startup horror story.

    I relate so much to every post at Her Every Cent Counts, including this one on not meshing well with other people.

    Blonde on a Budget ponders the logistics of job hunting while in debt – something I’d never considered.

    Totally Money on what to do when your dream job isn’t.

    LIFE

    “We can only ever realise a finite amount of possibilities in our lifetime” – Stacking Pennies on choices, experiences and the passage of time.

    Love this. Lindy at Minting Nickels on “being a B”, or as the saying goes, doing your best and leaving the rest.

    Baking n Books reminds us that blogs are not accurate reflections– and everybody has their own troubles.

    Information. There’s just so much in the shower of data, via Seth Godin.

    FOOD

    Wandering Food Lover fires up her Chinese kitchen.

    OMG. Salted caramel slice, via Hungry and Frozen.

    Two from the $120 Food Challenge: Bacon and avocado salad, and apple/cheese crumble. Mmm.

  • September 3, 2011

    Will something better come along, or is this as good as it gets?

    House

    If only...Image via Wikipedia

    This week, we viewed our first prospective new home since our rent went up and we started tentatively looking at what was out there.

    Of course, it’s rare that a place lives up to the promise. The shower was far too small and low for T, the outside was positively peeling and dilapidated (I’m fine with a less than pristine exterior, but this was going a bit far) and quite significantly, the landlord came across as somewhat of a douchebag.

    The key things we do like would be having a garage and a bit of garden (yes, for under $300 a week!) and a decent sized kitchen. It’s one of two split units in an old villa/bungalow, with a third detached unit out back. The location is great and the street seems nice enough. I spend the majority of my time at work, so I want to live close to the office (logical, right?). This would be walking distance. (T is pretty much always going to have a long commute; the industrial areas are all out south and a highway hike away – and we would never, ever live in south Auckland.)

    The other attraction was the lack of letting fee – the landlord manages the property himself. He also, unfortunately, came across as a wanker, rushing us through the interior, attempting to scare every prospect into applying on the spot by touting the number of views on the TradeMe listing and going on about how in his decades of experience, the market is the tightest it’s been in years. That MIGHT have something to do with the Rugby World Cup, the biggest event Auckland has hosted in a long time. He also saw fit to deliver a lecture on how we should always come to viewings prepared with references and information to wow property managers. Mmmhmmm. I am aware of this. Perhaps the reason we weren’t jumping to sign on the spot was more due to doubts about the place?

    Don’t even get me started on the application form. Blurry and obviously photocopied too many times, it goes beyond any agency form I’ve ever filled out. Three character references in addition to previous tenancies, work and income info, and vehicle details? Not only that, it asks not for their contact details, but for references to be “attached”. Nobody gives written references these days; those died with personal cheques. Stuck in the past century much?

    So I’m torn. Do I bother filling out the application form, not being entirely sold on it – and knowing competition is likely to be fierce? T likes it well enough, but doesn’t love it (as I say, he’d much rather live way further west, unlike me. Compromising on location is proving tough). He’s really eager to move out, but I just know that having to crouch to get under that showerhead – which doesn’t even have adjustable pressure – every day is going to get old.

    Can I picture us living there? Well, we’ve lived so many places that anywhere can feel like home, really; that’s not a good test for me.

    Really, it comes down to that age old dilemma – get in quick, or wait for the ‘perfect place’ which may never emerge.

    What do you most value in a place to live – proximity to work, friends, amenities, bars and clubs and cafes? Outdoor living, kitchen, storage space?

     

     

  • September 2, 2011

    Wine and Love

    I’ve seen Wine and Love done plenty of times before, and seeing as the past couple of weeks have been full of ups and downs, thought it an appropriate time to finally join in!

    Reasons I love my wine [er, peanut butter milkshake] this week:

    • Rain. Oh, the rain! Just as you get lulled into a false sense of spring, winter rears its head for the last time and robs me of clean dry underwear.
    • Money flowing out. I’ve bought festival tickets for New Year’s (can’t remember the last time we actually went away and did something cool to ring in the new year), and anticipate some hefty dentist and drycleaning (T and I have not had any of our coats cleaned in the few years we’ve had them, ick) bills.
    • Taking work home. I don’t mind it, and often find I write better in bed, but not after the day I’ve had, which involved…
    • Scraping up the car twice in one day, running the battery flat, getting stranded.

    Reasons I’m smiling/loving life this week:

    • Tweeting for assistance and getting jump started by a stranger (also, finding a lead on a story through tweeting a link last week. WIN). Now, to pay it forward…
    • Going to a sweet event with amazing three-course dinner and coming away with a generous freebie.
    • Cake mix. So good, so moist, so perfectly risen. My cakes taste fine but look like a disaster zone, generally.
    • Attending my first Fashion Week show. It was a bridal show. I wasn’t expecting or planning to go, but there I was in my Warehouse sneakers, secondhand jeans and Cotton On cardigan. Surprisingly, the designs were actually pretty wearable, and gave me food for thought as to what I might like in a dress.
    • Impending freedom! Today marks a big deadline for me.
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