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  • The balancing act

    “Unfortunately there are only 24 hours in a day, and we sleep for about 8 of them. Subtract the hours we spend eating (3), showering and dressing and fixing up (1), cleaning and running errands (1), driving (2), working (8) … and you’re left with an hour or two at most. Often less.”

    – ZenHabits

    < via >

    It’s so true. As Nigel Marsh says in this Ted talk, balance isn’t something we can achieve every single day – we should measure and assess it over a period of time.

    It’s four months into the year – the year that I wanted to strive for more balance, more harmony and more zen.  I’ve realised I can’t devote time to all of my hobbies every day or even every other day.  Especially with my (often fluid) work schedule, which is not always conducive to it.

    Quite honestly, the life I want to live looks something like this: Peaceful. Relaxed. Healthy.

    To achieve that, I need more consistency in life. Routine, if you like. “That’s so boring!” T said, after I lectured about the importance of routine after the millionth time he’d been unable to find his keys in the morning. Okay, so I’m boring, but I do like holding on to a semblance of sanity. We’re both, to put it nicely, scatterbrains. I strive for organisation, but never manage to fully get it together.

    Things that matter to me: cooking and eating a good dinner every evening if possible (some nights are better than others…my limp-wristed efforts after a long day recently were greeted by “This looks like prison food” by the boy. Tasted good though). The last few weeks have been an absolute shambles, having no time to grocery shop, running out of food, getting home at 9pm or later. I may have to loosen my control-freak reins and delegate food shopping more often – and write produce lists, or we’ll end up with no veggies at all.

    Getting enough sleep. Not negotiable. If this means leaving the party when everyone is still going strong (unless there’s some compelling reason to stay) then so be it.

    Couple time.  Especially important to me, as we work such different hours and share no days off.

    Finding time for the things you love

    As a diehard introvert, I need me-time to relax and recharge. (Don’t get me wrong, I come home on an absolute HIGH after a good time out, but I can’t sustain the social thing for too long.) Some things are easier to slot into a schedule than others. I can read on the bus, before bed, on a lunch break. If I had a smart phone, I could catch up on blogs while commuting or waiting in line at the bank. You probably have an equivalent you can fit in on the go.

    Others, like heading out on a walk to do some photography, require a little more time and planning, and happen less often. Or tackling that crockpot recipe, or that labour-intensive cinnamon roll.

    I like to have a solid block of at least a few hours when I’m learning a new song, so that’s best done on my days off when T isn’t around. But that doesn’t mean those are the only times I can play. Lately, I’ve been slacking on the boring things like practicing chords, scales and exercises – and I can’t rely solely on the excuse of disturbing the peace (unplugged does not mean silent) because really, I just haven’t wanted to. Yet those are easy to bust out mindlessly for 10 minutes after dinner or while The Big Bang Theory is on.

    I think this is the hardest part of trying to fit it all in. All the fun things, that come easily to you – you will manage to find some time for. But the things we love can also be extremely hard work: working out, writing a novel, playing an instrument. Motivating yourself to also fit in the groundwork, the boring but essential bits, is tough.

    How do you kick yourself into gear to “just do it”?

  • Link love (Powered by ruffles and picnics in the park)

    I am not too geeky to admit that I had A BLAST this week giving my bank feedback about Track My Spending and proposed developments for the tool. Online banking FTW! I’ve also got a big long serious post about finances, family and all that kind of bizzo cooking. It’s difficult to write and yet I’m really enjoying the process. Perhaps I should pursue a job at a bank, or some kind of social service to do with money management?

    It’s been a glorious week weatherwise, and I’m hoping it holds until next weekend. I’m on leave, which means four whole days off alongside T! The original plan was to throw our engagement party, but my dad and brother are out of the country. Plan B: cross off a local destination off my bucket list Of course, accommodation at hotspots is all booked out, so we’ll probably just do a day trip rather than an overnight.

    I also went to check out The Food Store last night for a survey. Really pricey, but the portions were decent. Their gimmick is it’s associated with the Food Channel – the TV channel plays on screens, plus you can watch the chefs in action right there in the kitchen, in the middle of the dining floor. I don’t know if the chefs from the TV show (I forget the title) actually work there, but their mugshots were at the front of the menu 😛 I wouldn’t necessarily go back on my own dollar, but it was good for a night out.

    Finally, I got my six-monthly savings account statement in the mail. I freaked out when I saw the starting balance and ending balance were virtually identical.

    Of course, I quickly remembered that in that time I paid for:

    1. A car in cash
    2. A dSLR
    3. A GPS
    4. And a couple of concert tickets

    So really, it’s actually kind of impressive to have remained on par balance-wise. And of course, it’s now past the end-date of that statement, so we’re back up to pre-October/November levels already. Wahoo!

    WORK

    Very true. Passive Panda argues that networking is the single most important  skill freelancers need.

    What is the right amount of time for a career travel break?

    Katharine offers some insight into getting TEFL qualified and teaching English abroad.

    Via Walking in Heels: Don’t hate your commute – embrace it!

    World of Wealth reckons most common job-security tips are overrated.

    MONEY

    There are lots of hackneyed posts about how to cut fuel consumption, but Funny About Money takes it a step further: Can you even make any further cuts?

    A prestigious university, or a free education at a smaller name? A tough choice posed at Yakezie this week.

    Little House investigates what 3x her income would buy her in various locations.

    LIFE

    Congrats to Kim of Perfectly Cursed Life, expecting not one but two babies!

    The Asian Pear details her single biggest fear.

    Her Every Cent Counts opens up about addiction and insecurity.

    Money Maus walks us through her experience of house-hunting in the infamous NYC market.

    So many truths in this! Doniree guests posts on Confessions of Jersey Girl about the things she’s learned in years of apartment living.

    A thought-provoking, soul-searching post on living vs preparing to live by the Tao of Grad School.

    Redhead Writing gives me hope for my high school reunion.

    And I’m bookmarking this post on making your own wedding bouquet. You know, in case I decide I want flowers after all.

  • ISFJ: The power of four letters

    isfj - inside an introvert's mind

    Introverted – 83%
    Sensing– 38%
    Feeling– 38%
    Judging – 22%

    When you’re a teenager, all you want to do is figure out who you are and to fit in. I could never understand how I could be one person in a certain situation, and act like someone entirely different around another group of people. I felt like I was in a constant state of personality crisis.

    I can’t for the life of me remember what it was called, but there was once a website devoted entirely to personality tests and quizzes, and it quickly became one of my favourite time-wasters. I took and retook almost every quiz on that damn website, hoping for a result that would, I don’t know, change my life? Eventually I realised I was far from the only girl on earth who adjusts herself depending on social situations, and, more importantly, that I was who I was.

    That said, the Myers-Briggs personality test is generally a good indicator of a person’s traits. Four letters – that’s all it takes. As an ISFJ, I’m part of a group that Wikipedia reckons makes up 9-14 per cent of the population.

    Like the ISFJ description suggests, I learn best by visual reinforcement (diagrams, writing things down) or better, by doing.While I was always a pretty good student, tertiary presented more of a challenge for me, and I knew I was never going to be a candidate for grad school (not that it’s really very useful in my field). Conceptual theories and theoretical discussions tire me like nothing else can.

    I’ve always thought that the world rewarded extroverts. In the working world, introverts get trampled, passed over. ISFJs hate conflict and confrontation, and don’t do well with criticism – two traits I’ve always, always struggled with (especially the first one, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I know nobody likes fighting, really, but it’s like I regress to childhood and clam up completely in the face of argument).

    Obviously, each personality type also comes with its own strengths (hurrah!).

    • The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through
    • Usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money
    • Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships (and here I thought that was called “maturity”!)
    • Likely to put others’ needs above their own
    • Excellent memory for details which are important to them
    • Value security, tradition, and peaceful living

    What’s your Myers-Briggs personality? I’d especially love to hear from other I-types (at 83%, it’s my strongest tendency of the four preferences); I so rarely encounter other like minds…

  • 7 Deadly Sins – Lust

    Heart

    Image via Wikipedia

    Lust. Seven love secrets.

    1. I do not remember our first kiss, exactly.

    2. Nor do I remember our exact anniversary. The catchphrase has always been, “The Wednesday before Christmas”. I did calculate the exact date last year so we could celebrate five years properly, but it’s already slipped my mind.

    3. I never imagined this relationship would last. I’d just come out of a breakup and I knew T was leaving at the end of the summer, so that’s when I expected it would end.

    4. My language of love is food. If I care about you, I care about making sure you eat. Which is why I was so bewildered back in the hell that was 2009, when he accused me of neglect (or something similar) – what the hell was love if it was not keeping you fed (and watered, clothed and sheltered, and generally keeping things running?)

    5. A surprising number of my dude friends apparently once had a thing for me. Most of which I found out after the fact.

    6. I’ve never been tempted to stray but there is one person I’ve come across who I’ve felt a strange draw toward, who I recently found out is now also spoken for.

    7. I’m sure more of you engage in baby talk than would admit to it, but I bet we could beat you in a competition, hands down.

    Day 1 – Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
    Day 2 – Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
    Day 3 – Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
    Day 4 – Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
    Day 5 – Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
    Day 6 – Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
    Day 7 – Lust. Seven love secrets.

  • 7 Deadly Sins – Gluttony

    Dark and White Chocolate Cheesecake

    Image by gnuf via Flickr

    Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

    1.     Cheese. Of all kinds.

    2.     Anything with cream in it.

    3.   Almost anything with sugar or chocolate in it. Sigh.

    4.     Eating with my hands, when I’m feeling particularly lazy and uncivilised. (I’m not just talking things like chips and dip, either…)

    5. Singing. In the shower. Walking to the bus. Wherever.

    6.     Silly comedies, in the vein of Superbad and The Hangover.

    7. Chilling out in the buff at home. Living without flatmates is awesome.

    Day 1 – Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
    Day 2 – Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
    Day 3 – Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
    Day 4 – Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
    Day 5 – Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
    Day 6 – Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
    Day 7 – Lust. Seven love secrets.

    Perhaps I took the gluttony theme a little too literally, but if you know me at all by now, you know where my heart lies.

    

  • Link love (Powered by shortbread and monochrome stripes)

    There’s a change in the air. Over the past week or two, it’s been standing room only on the bus. I get on at the end of the first stage, so about a third of the distance out of the city in relation to the entire bus route, or two-thirds through when going into the city.

    I’m at bit of a loss to explain this phenomenon, beyond rising petrol prices. It’s now $2.19 at the pump. I’m somewhat sheltered from gas price increases (the latest round of bus fare increases didn’t affect the pass I buy) but T drives to and from work everyday. Granted, he doesn’t have much traffic to deal with – he recently had the chance to change to a 9-5 shift and rejected it, because he didn’t want to have to deal with rush hour – but it’s still a fair bit of distance.

    Anyway, so by the time we are one or two stops past mine, we can no longer fit any more people on. Instead, we zoom past, as glaring throngs build up at the city fringe stops (really, they’d probably be better off walking at that point).

    It’s a good thing. Aucklanders need to embrace public transport. Now all we need is more buses!

    MONEY

    A Stuff column on the legal rort of credit card surcharges, noting often they’re applied in situations where you have no choice but to use a credit card (Amen! How else are you meant to book a flight?)

    In an age where everyone harps on about monetising your hobbies, this was refreshing. As The Simple Dollar says, sometimes they should remain that way.

    Wandering Earl recounts his quest to find the perfect way to carry money while travelling.

    WORK

    Laura asks: Did you choose your career or did it choose you?

    Krystal shares seven signs it might be time to look for a new job, over on her Moneyville blog.

    Are there some jobs you just cannot muster up passion for, that are not conducive to satisfaction? I think so, and so does Study Hacks.

    A nice guest post on Ms Career Girl about internal vs external motivation and faking it till you make it.

    Six writers offer an insight into book covers and blurbs (I always thought THEY wrote their own…apparently not!)

    LIFE

    I dig APW for spurning the wedding industry complex (did they coin that term?) and this post in particular which doesn’t gush about the big day, but admits sometimes it’s really not as much of a deal as it’s made out to  be.

    Having trouble finding time for yourself? Read this post by Dumb Little Man (I did what they call a time-audit awhile ago, but I think it’d look different today).

    Fabulously inspiring pictures from Makeunder My Life on decor and decluttering.

    And my top three picks:

    “I am a dreamer.  Less idealistic than I once was, but still idealistic.  Yet weirdly practical too and with a gift for efficiency. At their worst, these qualities combine to make me a defeatist…” – I identified so much with Ashley’s reflective post.

    “To be “young” in Western, white, middle-class culture is synonymous with being “fun” in a particular, narrowly defined way….But at the same time, if your interests evolve and change as time passes, there’s no shame in that, either. For most of us, it’s just part of getting older.” – Amen, Rachel.

    “Years ago, when Ferris Bueller said “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it,” I knew I’d fully understand the meaning of that eventually.” – DC Princess faces up to the whirlwind of 20-something existence.

    Happy weekends…

  • March roundup

    (Click here for more info on my monthly spending roundups. NB: Because the ‘saving’ portion can get so confusing (on this graph it does not include regular savings from my main job) I may simply stop using the saving category for this purpose altogether, and deal with it separately from now. That way this will only truly represent “spending”.)

    Clothes and grooming: Included a haircut for me and shoes and an electric shaver for him (he spends a lot on razors, and it’s hugely wasteful in an environmental sense too). It’ll still take many months to break even on this, but it should last years, save some plastic and irritate his face less. Oh, and it also included resizing and valuing of the ring (ah, so unromantic, but practical. Even though it’s not a wildly valuable ring, my insurance policy still needed me to “specify” it as an item. Nonetheless, it’s an estate or heirloom piece so it’s not exactly replaceable. It’s going to cost a couple extra dollars on my premium, which kind of made me wonder if maybe I should’ve not bothered at all? But it was also important to T, so it’s fine by me.)

    Dining: As I mentioned the other day…we went over my goal of $160. But we had good eats, and I didn’t end up collapsing from starvation even on my long days.

    Entertainment: Included golf in Taupo on the way to Wellington, a Dailydo voucher, bowling with friends, some arcade games and our $10 Fatso subscription (which I’m cancelling this month, as I’ve finally exhausted my list of old movies to watch. Plus, I now have an Entertainment book, which includes a bunch of video store rental vouchers.)

    Groceries: Pretty on target for a four-week month.

    Holidays: Included Wellington spending, passport fees, passport photos…

    Medical: Hayfever meds for me, chafe cream for him – yep, the 3B stuff off the hilarious TV ad

    Mystery shopping: Dinner and drinks, fully reimbursed

    Saving: I actually saved a total of 42 per cent of my net income, yay!

    T fun: Motorbike. ($1200). Plus helmet and gloves ($220). And other miscellany which I care not to know about – that’s how it works.

    Utilities: Pretty ave…Orcon whipped up a deal with my employer, so I’m now going to be saving a few bucks a month on our phone/internet deal, plus some free landline to cellphone minutes! Good for phone interviews, too.

    Vehicle: Lower than I expected! I may have almost halved my bus expenditure; I used to catch the bus from right outside home in the morning, but since the timetable changed, it’s never on time. So now I just walk up to Mt Eden Rd, where it’s only one stage, both morning and evening. Petrol’s insane ($2.18 a litre) but I hope once T and the bike are all legalled, registered and insured, that will go down significantly too. How thoughtful of him to pick a hobby which will also help out the ongoing budget 😛 (Yes, I’m aware of the initial outlay, but HE’S paying for all that jazz, thankyouverymuch).

    I also brought in an extra $1061 in side income, of which I saved $562. The rest went toward passports, ring stuff, and a daily deal massage voucher.

  • Scammy scum

    Scream - Day 29, Year 2

    Image by purplemattfish via Flickr

    On one of my 7 Deadly Sins posts, I wrote that I hated being ripped off. By that, I meant being charged exorbitant prices, while Fig took it to mean being scammed (a cultural thing, lost in translation?)

    Which also got me thinking. I honestly believe that it’s basically pretty simple to avoid being a victim of fraud. Keep your personal details close at hand, and if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t invest unless you understand exactly what you’re getting into, and don’t fall for inflated, guaranteed returns.

    The closest I’ve ever come to falling for a scam was back when I was 13 and was told a poem of mine had won some big contest, for which I would be flown to the US for some convention. Of course, I never heard anything more about that (which begs the question: what was the point of all that? After I did a little digging, it seemed a lot of people were told the exact same thing).

    And then there was the great employment drought of 2009, in which T applied for a multitude of jobs. One of them involved something like invoicing and payment processing. All he had to do, they said – once we emailed for further details – was give them his bank account number. They would deposit funds into it and he would then be responsible for making payments. Yeah. No thanks.

    Common sense, guys. It’s key. Unfortunately, I think even the best of us can be blinkered by the prospect of easy money. One of my friends actually gave out his bank details to a random guy over the internet, who of course never delivered the promised thousands of dollars.

    What about you? Have you ever fallen for a scam?

  • I want a place to call my own

    • Somewhere I can wholeheartedly commit to a herb and veggie garden and a compost heap instead of thinking “what if we move in the next year?” as we always seem to do.
    • Somewhere with a garage for T’s motorcycle and where he can work on greasy boy things.
    • Somewhere with a kitchen I’m not constantly banging my head on the rangehood, and I don’t have to put my back out trying to get into the corner cupboard; where I have counter space on which to roll out pizza dough and to place the food mixer I would finally be able to purchase.
    • Somewhere the hot water in the kitchen is actually hot.
    • Somewhere with more storage, so we can organise our stuff better, and leave it that way for a long, long time.

    It’s almost enough to make me throw in the towel, say f- it (who needs to see the world anyway?) and just focus on saving for a house.

    Almost.

  • March goal checkin

    <via>

    * Save 40 per cent of income. Saved 42 per cent, including payment from side job (about a third of which went to our new passports! Gah)

    * Keep eating out to $160 a month.. Oopsies! Totally blew this – $213 was the final damage. There was a friend’s birthday, a few drinks out, a few dinners – one night we tried a new restaurant after I finished work instead of going grocery shopping (it was 9am on a Sunday…) In fact, it’s just been one of those months. Life months. Add rotating shifts into the mix and I ended up buying some few lunches (bless Revive and their half-price vouchers – I’ve gotten so many on the backs of my bus tickets lately!)

    * Donate to charity every month. Done! (I have an ever-growing list of causes to donate to. All these natural disasters keep derailing it.) Oh, and I finally started a small change fund to keep in my wallet for buskers. I always encounter awesome street musicians but never have coins for them. But now I do! And I gave my first dollar to a guy letting rip some Led Zep.

    * Text one friend a week. Er. Didn’t keep track. But as I had free calling credit, I made a few calls this month. And I did more socialising this month than I have in a looong time.

    * Learn to confidently use full manual settings on my dSLR. Took my longer lens out for a spin (can’t remember how long it is and too lazy to get up and check.) Any tips on making the most of it?

    * Read 100 books. I’m not reading as fast as I normally do, so I’m not quite on track with this, having only read 16 books. A) I have less free time lately and B) I’m reading much more challenging books. Books which I want to savour, and which deserve not to be skimmed.

    * Continue running at least once a week, and run a 10k. Win! Here’s a recap of how my race went.

    Just realised I didn’t think up a monthly challenge for March nor do I have one brewing for April. Maybe I’ll come up with one in May.

    How did your goals go this month?