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Money and relationships – when it all goes pear shaped
One of my flatmates and his GF have broken up.
I’m quite sad – she was lovely and sweet. She had a fondness for bourbon and pornos, but was surprisingly intelligent and unskanky for a westie type (if you’ll pardon the stereotyping, but they exist for a reason…and I consider myself one as well, to a degree) and incredibly giving. To a fault, actually. Her generosity extended to going halves with him on a car (I think to the tune of $500), and advancing him $800 for the bond on our new place, despite the fact she didn’t even live here. She did it to help him out, that’s all.
Now he’s found himself some hobaggy little blonde and ditched her.
I have no idea what’s going to happen with all the money he owes her; BF says she gave him literally everything she had, and wiped out her savings. I don’t imagine the breakup would have been pretty 🙁 in fact, he had been seeing the blonde possibly even before dumping her… we just suddenly stopped seeing the GF around the house and saw the new chick hanging around.
Poor taste, I say.
NB: Tomorrow’s post will be protected – I’m talking about work related stuff and don’t want it to be all out in the open. You can email me at eemusings(at)gmail.com for the password
Despite the massive mountain of assignments I had to work on, this weekend shaped up pretty well!
I did a quick mystery shop on Sunday, did a spot of baking (using a recipe I’d been wanting to try out for ages), and caught up on laundry (I was all out of clean undies – no joke).
We also went grocery shopping – last week we spent $20 less than the budget, and this week we came in right on target. For our $120, we got tons of veggies, meat, as well as a couple of treats. Strawberries are back in season – woohoo! We also bought a couple of herbs – chives and basil – which I want to put out in the garden.
And lastly, we went up Mt Albert and went for a walk around the top. Now I’ve been up Mt Roskill, Mt Eden, Mt Atkinson… but never Mt Albert. The entrance is tucked up some leafy side streets; you’d never know how to get up there! The hillside is obviously a pretty wealth area. The houses are old and palatial and I wouldn’t even want to guess at how much they go for. Anyway, it was all very quaint – we went for a bit of a jaunt around the peak, looked for four-leaf clovers (unsuccessfully) and T picked a few flowers for me. Very Enid Blyton.
Spending
I finally got paid for all my overtime back during Fashion Week! Most of this went towards cancelling out the overdraft we racked up over the moving period.
$50 in Vodafone topups for both me and T
$22 at the butcher
$25 on gas
$80 at the supermarket
$22 at Fruit World
$21 pn misc. food and drink
Pantry staples
Believe it or not, it wasn’t until I’d been living away from home a couple of years that I started to stock my kitchen cupboards with things like flour, rice and stock. I pretty much lived off pasta and strirfrys and as for baking? Nuh uh. The one time I ever tried to make a cake, I managed to produce this beautiful tri-coloured marble cake – rock hard on the outside and rubbery on the inside. It was in no way edible, even by the lowest standards. I was SO disappointed; I’d spent over an hour mixing ingredients and painstakingly layering the colours. Sigh.
Now, at least, I can manage super basic cakes/muffins/biscuits. And we now have staples on hand which means if we haven’t planned out a specific meal, chances are we’ll still be able to whip up something for dinner. Not like the good old days…
On any given week, you’ll pretty much find in our cupboards:
-rice
– pasta
– beef and chicken stock
– flour
– sugar
– tomatoes
– corn
– eggs
– onions
– soy sauce
– chili powder
– curry powder
…and potatoes. It may be the poor man’s food, but I can’t get enough of them! Fries, chips, roasted, mashed, boiled, hash browns…I love them in all their varieties.
We’re also working on expanding our spice collection (currently stands at less than 10, due to the fact each jar costs almost $5. We picked a buy-one-get-one-free voucher from one of those instore demonstrators last week though, which was neat).
Am I missing anything? Should I be buying other things that I just never realised I can’t live without?
Where to?
Those of us with partners who’ve been laid off – or have experienced it themselves – know just how disheartening, demoralising and downright depressing it is. It’s been a year now – a WHOLE year – I cannot believe it.
Let’s get one thing out of the way. It’s not a lack of ambition that is T’s problem; it’s more like a lack of direction. Not all people know what they want to do in life, although this seems more acceptable if you’re female (it’s okay, increasingly, to say you just want to be a wife/mother/homemaker; not so much for a guy to say the equivalent).
I’m very proud of him for having finished his course, and he now knows he can apply to university and that he can do it. Jumping into the academic world isn’t easy when you’ve been out of it for years, and when you’re not super academically inclined in the first place.
He may not be a straight-A student, but neither am I, and I shouldn’t expect him to be – as long as I do my best, I’m happy, and that’s the same standard I should hold him to.
If he simply wants to work whatever job he can get, that’s fine – but having been absolutely bollocked by the recession, I’m wary of that path. In the longterm, I firmly believe that having a qualification (trade or otherwise) is essential.
So, I guess I don’t really know where to from here. I’m not expecting him to come up with a 50 year plan, but I do expect him to have some sort of direction. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
We’ve clashed over this lots of times – he always reiterates: “I wouldn’t care if we were living out of a car, as long as we have each other.” Call me heartless, call me unromantic but there are some lines I’m not willing to cross.
At the moment, he’s fired up about one of our flatmate’s fathers, who is keen to start up a business and employ both of them. Not a career type of job – just a job. He’s been to the careers counsellors at uni, who clarified the options that we’d already settled on, without giving him anything definitive. He could go ahead with the plan to become a teacher, or he could try to get trade qualified in engineering/fabrication, which is what he was working before. (Or the army, again…something he’s increasingly talking about).
It’s October now, and I thought he would have a pretty good idea of what he wanted to do. It looks like uni is out of the picture, at least for the first semester of 2010 – applications aren’t going to stay open forever. I’ve spent many hours late at night sitting up with him helping him with assignments. I feel I’ve invested a lot of energy into this, and although there’s no way I’d ever force him to do anything, I really do think carrying on with study would be in his best interests.
Whether he could stay motivated through the three years, slogging through papers that he might not enjoy (some he definitely won’t) would be another challenge. For me, I see deadly dull core papers as a necessary evil, but I plough through anyway. To him, he’s so disinterested that he doesn’t put effort in. And that’s something you have to deal with at university.
I know I keep saying I want a crystal ball…..but I really, really, do!!
My baby takes the morning train…
go on, tell me I’m not the only one who likes cheesy old songs like that!
I used to catch the train everyday when I lived practically next to the station. Trains are great, IF you have easy access to the lines! There’s only one stop per suburb, which means most people end up driving to the station and parking nearby. And though the train might be cleaner, faster, and cheaper, they don’t come as often as buses, and they’ve been plagued with delays – so buses are more convenient for me. There are only so many times you can use the same excuse for being late to work.
Right now, the western line is being dug up and put underground, throwing all of New Lynn into chaos. Seriously, the traffic is so bad, we avoid going through there at any time, if at all possible. The road layout is always changing – all of a sudden there’s a roundabout, then there isn’t, there’s a bigger one, then there’s traffic lights, the pedestrian crossing’s moved…AARGH!
Still, I considered going back to using the trains this week. But it was probably good that I didn’t, seeing as train commuting numbers were up 50% this week. I’d probably have been lucky to even get into a carriage.
Photo / arturodonate
Either I don’t know how to be social, or I just hate people
You know what’s really hard? Being in attendance at a party where you don’t know half the people and the others are mostly ones you vaguely know and dislike.
What happens when you transplant the ultimate bogan party into a city bar? Go on, guess.
Call me cynical, but I find it extremely hard to humour wasted people who think they’re being deep and meaningful, or females in too-high heels and too-short skirts (IQs usually diminish in relation to how high the hemline is). Oh, and I’m sure I saw a nipple or two flailing about last night. Seriously girls, put it AWAY.
Also, I obviously need to learn to dance to drum n bass. You may laugh, but it requires a totally different style from the usual poppy/hiphoppy club fare.
Lastly, I never in my entire life thought I would see a crowd of people dancing – yes, dancing – to Limp Bizkit’s Rollin‘.
I want to be the kind of person who…
Inspired by Saving to Pay Down my Home!
Basically, I want to be one of those people that has their shit together. I definitely don’t think it’s possible to be supremely successful simultaneously in all aspects of life, but some areas of my life are severely neglected right now.
I want to eat better. This means meal planning and taking more care grocery shopping, and it’s going to mean increasing the grocery budget. This kind of clashes with…
I want to travel. Around NZ, and overseas later on. It’s going to mean a lot of saving – starting up a travel fund once I start working – and getting a handle on the budget. Still, money is limited, and I’ll have to prioritise between travel, groceries, eating out, general saving, clothing. Unless T randomly strikes out job-wise, things aren’t going to change drastically once I graduate. We’ll be a little bit better off, with a bit of breathing room, but there definitely won’t be room for luxuries.
I want to be greener. I’d like to start up a compost heap again, but it’s way too easy just to dump scraps down the in-sinkerator! Still, it’s better down there than in the rubbish bin.
I need to get fit. I’m not a gym kind of person, but I think I should aim to go running once a week. I’ll start off slow.
I want to be better organised. I think I’m going to go back to a physical diary and try that out for a while. Right now everything goes into my phone calendar, but I think my system could be better. And seeing as I’ll be spending all my working hours in front of a computer, I might start using my Gmail calendar too.
I want to catch up with friends more often. At least once every other week! Will schedule this and try to make arrangements ahead of time, rather than seeing if anyone is free on the spur of the moment.
What areas do you want to improve on?
Spending report
Ouch, is all I can say. We spent quite a bit on food and fun – on Saturday our pantry was bare, so we bought lunch, then we headed over to the Diwali festival downtown at night, indulged in some scrummy Indian food, then onto a bar for a 21st. The bus lockout is also wreaking havoc on my budget and probably will continue to do so all week.
$20 for gas
$20 for the bus (thanks to the lockout)
$15 that BF spent on lunches during the week and technically wasn’t supposed to…
$9.30 for dinner on Thursday and $5 for my lunch on Friday (again, with the running out of food! This week though, I drew up a meal plan. AND we spent less on groceries than normal)
$4.50 for an emergency run to the shop for toilet paper
$8.20 for lunch on Saturday
$20 cash withdrawn, of which we spent $18 on various dishes from the stalls at Diwali. So worth it!!
$8 for two drinks at the bar
$3 for BF’s contribution to a barbecue today.
I also need to pay back one of my friends for a joint birthday gift from last week – I THINK it was about $24; I asked her to send me the details again, but she hasn’t replied…
The grocery game
Personally, though I’ve done virtually no travelling – and certainly not on my own dollar – I think food in Auckland is somewhat overpriced.
Let’s do a comparison, shall we? Worldwide readers, feel free to chime in!
(I’m aiming for budget brands/lowest sale prices here; bread, for example, can run up to almost $5 a loaf, and chicken up to over $20 a kilo)
2 litres of milk – $3.20
Cheapest loaf of bread – $1.40
Boneless chicken breast (with skin on) – $9.99 kg, at the lowest
Cucumber – 99c in summer, 3.99 in winter
Kelloggs cornflakes – $2.99 for 500g, on sale
Tomatoes – around $1.99 kg in summer, up to double or more in winter
Potatoes – $1.99 kg, although we sometimes buy in bulk which is slightly cheaper
Cabbage – $1.49
Bananas – $1.79 a kg at the lowest when in season
Beef mince – $5.99 kg, at the lowest – up to a ridiculous $13.99 sometimes at the supermarket for the premium stuff
Cheese – between $8 and 10 a kg, at the moment?
Muesli bars – varies by brand, between $2.50 and $3.50 at the lowest for a 6pack
2 litres of ice cream – $3.50, at the lowest
1.5kg flour – $2.50
1 kg sugar – $2
Eggs – we usually get a 20 tray for $5
Pasta 500g – $1.10
Pasta sauce – $2.99 for 700g (cheap stuff) or $3.50 for 500g (better stuff, on special)
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