reflections | NZ Muse

December 13, 2012

On age and how others perceive you

I’ve always been touchy about my age, and how old others think I am.

This stems back to a time when I was introduced to someone my parents knew, shortly after we moved to New Zealand, and just after we built our house (to my best recall).

“How old is she? Seven?” he asked.

I was in fact nine, and deeply insulted.

At 16 I got my first ever job. I worked in a cafe, mostly clearing tables and washing dishes. My coworkers thought I was in my early 20s.

Somewhere along the way, I’ve gone from looking young for my age to looking older. I think the glasses probably contribute. That, and my weirdly prematurely wrinkly forehead.

It also apparently stems from the way I conduct myself. “You’re so not Gen Y!” I was told earlier this year (said in a tone that suggested being Gen Y was on par with being a Nazi or an animal abuser).

Confidence is not one of my inherent qualities. I second-guess myself at every opportunity. I doubt my skills whenever faced with something new. I secretly think most of my work is terrible and that I’m a fraud. As I told my best friend the other week when we enlisted the help of a security guard to boot the people occupying our seats at Coldplay, if it had been me plonked down there and some other people had come along suggesting we were in the wrong row, I would be instantly convinced that I was the one who’d made a mistake (even if I wasn’t) and leap up to check.

But apparently I manage to carry off the illusion of confidence at work, which suits me just fine. In a generation where people are staying at home and at university longer, I think I’ve got an edge, having been independent from 17 (somehow I’ve become the go-to person on all things adulthood in my circle… housing, work, cars, etc). And I suppose I’m lucky in that I’m not an assistant drone at the bottom of a corporate ladder. I have a lot of autonomy, relatively speaking, and being constantly wooed by PR types on a daily basis has probably inflated my sense of power.

Is looking older than you really are a bonus in the workplace?

I think this can actually be a advantage. People are more likely to take you seriously if you look 35 as opposed to 15. As we all know, appearance counts for way more than anyone likes to admit (and that includes everything from your wardrobe to the pitch of your voice).

On the other hand, that can lead to higher expectations of you, and pressure to deliver what you might not be able to carry off. Pull it off though, and you’ll be a rockstar.

I’ll probably be regretting this when I’m 40 and staring into the mirror wondering where I went. But in consolation, I did recently get carded at a bar (annoyingly, I didn’t have my ID on me at the time). I still have it … sometimes.

Do you look your age? Do people normally guess your age correctly?

December 9, 2012

2012 in review

So, 2012.

Some bad things happened this year. I won’t dwell on them here.

Some good things happened, too. I’d like to remember those.

2012 was the year of travel, for what that’s worth. When I took my current job in 2011 I knew there was no travel publication inhouse, and accordingly scrapped my goal of scoring a travel assignment/junket. But I eventually wound up having opportunities to travel through work nonetheless – and that’s the main thing, isn’t it? And because I can’t help but write, I blogged about my trips.

This year we spent NYE in the Coromandel. The Microsoft Imagine Cup world finals took me to Sydney on my birthday. August saw me in Queenstown. September was our long-awaited campervan journey around the South Island, including T’s birthday.

This year I did things I’ve never done before. I got to take a sweet yacht ride one Friday. I jumped out of a plane, on another Friday. I got seasick for the first time – yep, Friday again, but a different one.

What else?

I set myself a goal of writing one big print feature, and a quiet, sneaky, private goal of writing a cover feature. I ended up hitting both with my first major print story. I also wrote another two (one on NZ’s first startup accelerator, launching next year as part of the Techstars-founded Global Accelerator Network) and one more that’s out this week about Wellington production company Gibson Group. I’m working on another, which involves bee venom in the context of the beauty industry.

I interviewed Alec Ross from the US State Department and Tim Brown from IDEO. I attended awesome creative conferences: Better by Design, Semi-Permanent, TEDx. And more randomly, Coldplay’s recent concert. Even though I ignore/turn down 99% of event invites, I still went to more than I can remember (friends whom I invite along always ask why I get asked in the first place. Dudes, it’s simple. People need to fill seats [or floors, in the case of stand-ups] and working in media is basically an auto-qualifier).

I started planning a wedding. I also got even worse at keeping up with high school friends, though slightly better at keeping in touch with newer ones.

I started taking facial sunscreen seriously (now that I’m not a constant oil pit and am more sensitive to sun) and started using eye cream religiously, because my eye area freaks out when I don’t. Also, I can see all sorts of fine, crepey lines threatening to emerge. IS THIS WHAT GETTING OLD MEANS?

And I’m excited for 2013. How about you?

December 7, 2012

Then and now: frugality through the years

My last post saw me reflect on the life lessons I’d learned since graduation.

Today, I’m turning the lens on my spending habits. Am I still super frugal? Has lifestyle creep stealthily draped its cloak around my shoulders?

Well, yes, in a few ways.

We pay more in rent, which was a deliberate choice I’m happy with.

In 2007, my first year of university, we were paying $260 a week for a one-bedroom apartment. We actually paid less – $195 – for the next couple of years in a shared house. I think our next place was about the same, or slightly more, and then we moved to a studio for $250 after I graduated. It wasn’t till more than a year later that we moved to our current house.

We now have Sky TV.

At our first shared flat, the flatmate from hell had Sky in his room and the boys would all crowd in to watch wrestling on Sunday nights. At the second, the executive decision was made to get Sky for the house. And from then on, there was no turning back. We moved out on our own, and now we foot the entire bill ourselves. Plus all our other essential utility bills have increased. Yay, inflation.

While our food budget has remained the same (woot!), occasionally we splurge a little on a fancier place to eat out, or on more gourmet ingredients (meats, cheeses, etc).

Weekly supermarket trips used to be a thing we did together. Now that I’m a more confident parker, and have actually learned to kind of like the process of picking out the best, freshest produce and finding bargains among the specials, I’ve taken over grocery shopping alone for the most part. It helps that now we’re only a couple of minutes away from both Pak n Save as well as an awesome Asian shop – T is a bit wary of the Asian place, but I have no qualms, so I head there almost every week and save buttloads on fresh food in the process. Our eating out budget is also the same.

I still don’t pay for books (that’s what the library is for!) and I don’t pay for music.

Given that I almost always have access to wi-fi, streaming songs is where it’s at these days.

I spend less on beauty care.

I used to obsess about my skin, and while skincare and makeup was never a huge part of my budget, I did make sure to pay for quality stuff. Nowadays I can get freebies in my line of work or through mystery shopping – but I don’t need them. I hardly ever wear foundation, I wash my face with water only (which wouldn’t work if you wear makeup, or have a different skin type – I tried the water only method when I was younger, oilier and pimplier, and it was a flop) and generally operate on the ‘less is more’ mantra. I put as little on my face as possible, and my uber-sensitive skin is all the better for it.

I still buy clothes secondhand or on sale.

And this year I haven’t bought any, except for two pairs of flats when my old shoes fell apart. Frugal living FTW.

I’m happy to live a reasonably ascetic daily life, in order to direct my money toward travelling and seeing new places.

Have your spending habits changed over the past few years?

December 6, 2012

What I’ve learned since graduation

It’s been three years since I graduated. This leads me to my first lesson…

Time flies

You gotta be consciously and constantly making an effort to shape your life. Otherwise it’s likely to meander down some random – not necessarily unpleasant – path that isn’t quite what you want, resulting in a nasty awakening/quarterlife crisis further down the track.

It’s all too easy to drift aimlessly after graduation – what with the frantic hustle to secure employment to pay the bills and validate your degree, kick ass at that job, to find or maintain a relationship, to find a place to live that’s tolerable, to basically put together all the puzzle pieces of adult life. Get hobbies. Set goals. Run a marathon. Learn to bake. Set up a side hustle.

Find, or rediscover, what you love. Make time for it. Work is not life.

Which leads me to…

Life’s too short to do work you hate. But equally, too short to starve for passion’s sake

You owe it to yourself to find the best way to make it work. That might look wildly different for you than it does for me. Some of us fall more toward the passion side of the spectrum than others.

For me, financial stability is important. I value autonomy, regular hours, a fairly casual environment. But I did enjoy some of the flexibility associated with being part of a larger team with more resources. For me, passion, skill and career have come together in a lovely braid, but at the same time, I’ve never had a job I truly hated: I’ve always found some degree of enjoyment in even my more menial jobs as a student. I think that’s just the kind of person I am – I revel in a job well done.

(SJ of Life, Etc was kind enough to write and tell me how useful she found some of my career posts. So if you’re interested, here’s me on lessons you won’t learn at university, finding meaning at work, on independence and self-employment, planning for a family and conducive careers, work-life balance, journalism lessons for all of us and the myth of the job that you wake up excited to go to [YMMV].)

Look after yourself

Sleep. Eat well, and eat more veggies. Drink more water and less booze. Stretch, exert and work your body. Even the skinniest of us find poor habits catch up with us to some degree.

It’s okay to be you

10 years ago (good god) I agonised over every aspect of my existence. I was too ugly, too gawky, too nerdy, too pimply, too pale, too flat-chested, too shy, too awkward.

Today I am unabashedly myself (though I still regularly beat myself up after social outings – you don’t want to be around me as I decompress after social events). I don’t care that coworkers in their 30s with kids are more up with the local nightlife scene than I am. I’m not embarrassed about being a hardcore homebody. Nor do I feel the need to apologise.

And people are more accepting. Things like age and background don’t matter as much once you’re out of high school. Looks don’t matter as much (though there is a beauty premium, let’s face it – as in all aspects of life, it pays to be easy on the eye). I’m not saying there isn’t discrimination in the workplace, but I am saying that I’ve found the working world, in some ways, a friendlier one than the school one. YMMV by industry and company.

How little school actually prepares you for the business world

Because let’s face it, we’re all in business. We need people to give us work – a job, a contract. We need to negotiate for ourselves – flexible hours, to get on a certain project. We need schooling in the art of getting what we want – and what our company wants, too – supplier discounts, advertising partnerships, a killer interview with that person who never gives interviews. None of this is taught to us.

That common sense is hard to come by

I swear, every single business conference I go to is largely a yawnfest. Is this how corporates have been operating for the last century? Blimey. You’d think listening to customers and treating employees well would be a no-brainer. And in talking to T (and discussing skills he’s learned at his current job), all he can ever espouse is the fact that it’s all common sense that anyone could pick up. On a related note, it often seems companies either don’t want to implement common sense-changes, or that things simply get stuck in the pipeline and go nowhere as there’s nobody with the time to actually push them through.

Life is all about power imbalances

I’d never really thought about it, but everything is about power play to some degree. With your parents. Then your teachers. Then your employer. With others you deal with – suppliers, clients, landlords. It’s rare that there’s a perfect equilibrium in any given relationship. There will be people who are a priority for you but you are not one for them, and in turn, further down the power chain, you will be of utmost importance for someone who barely registers on your radar.

Talent is NOT everything

Success = a cocktail of guts, determination, stubbornness, perseverance, timing, skill and sometimes luck. You could be like the girl in my class who struggled to pass everything, yet landed a plum job straight after graduation. Or like one very green intern (the kind who’s almost more trouble than help) who went on to write for major publications and get some impressive clips through simply putting herself out there and seizing on every opportunity and every crack of a door.

Finally, always put yourself first

Because nobody else is going to do it for you. Your parents aren’t going to take care of things for you any more. Your employers aren’t going to put your best interests first. Everyone is a selfish bastard, quite frankly, so you need to be, too.

What have you learned since graduating?

November 30, 2012

Going self-hosted (plus reflections on my blogging journey)

PSA: All going to plan, I’m going to be moving to self-hosting tomorrow! If you are following me through WordPress, please consider subscribing through RSS or Bloglovin. I’m also on Paperblog.

Here’s an amusing spam comment my filter recently caught, posted on one of my link roundup posts:

“The next time I read a blog, I hope that it won’t disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, Yes, it was my choice to read, but I actually thought you’d have something interesting to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of crying about something that you could possibly fix if you were not too busy looking for attention.”

Heh.

In the month between changing to my own domain, losing all my site stats, and then regaining them with Google and Moz updates, I enjoyed a massive dropoff in the amount of spam coming through. We’re back to normal levels though, and
that means checking the filter every couple of days to stay on top of it all and rescue any mistakenly flagged stuff.

On the eve of going self-hosted, it seemed timely to reflect on the journey so far.

I may not have a huge amount of traffic, but somehow I’ve managed to earn some pretty respectable rankings without consciously trying.

For the majority of this wee blog’s existence, I didn’t even do the most basic of things – use hyperlinks, or write post titles. I definitely did not ever think about SEO. I’m not sure I could even touch type at that point, so I didn’t use proper capitalisation (for shame. It looked like, and I treated it like, a journal). I probably sabotaged myself in every way, actually, with my penchant for abbreviations and my writer’s instinct that reprimands me to never repeat myself. I refuse to stick to a single niche (‘personal finance plus’ is as close as you’ll ever get) and while I’ve tried to maintain other blogs in the pursuit of that spirit, it’s always proved way, way too hard. It’s too close to what I do at day job, and I’m just not creative or dedicated enough.

That definitely made things difficult when it came time to finally choose a domain name – eemusings.com and abstractaucklander.com were options, but the former is too screen-namey and the latter too complicated (though I did like the alliteration and the fact it plonks me up front alphabetically). I still like the ring of my old title, ‘Musings of an Abstract Aucklander’, so I’ve kept that in the tagline; plus it’s well and truly indexed by Google, and sometimes people search that entire phrase to get to the blog (god only knows why).

Seriously, kids. Get the name right. Don’t restrict yourself unnecessarily – think long term (e.g. don’t use your age in your name. That’s just silly, unless you only plan to blog for a year). And sort out your domain early on, ideally, so you don’t have to rely on redirects for your old posts like me.

Basically, the only thing I did right was read and interact on other blogs. And as it turned out, carnivals aren’t just for boosting egos, they’re also an SEO thing. Woop. I should probably do more of that.

I’ll admit sometimes I’m slack on responding to comments or tweets. My MO on other forms of communication – text, email, phone messages – is that unless a response is explicitly required, I won’t give one. I do try to be more responsive than that on social, but don’t always manage. It’s not a media legacy thing (example: once during a breaking news situation, I/we tweeted out a new piece of information, which later turned out to be incorrect. I said we should acknowledge the mistake and apologise, but I was the only one – I ended up backing down on that one against others in the newsroom and now regret it) – just a time thing.

I was talking to Revanche and a couple others on Twitter sometime back about subscribing to comment threads. She does; I hardly ever do – it’s just too overwhelming and it’s a very rare convo where I care enough to want to keep up. I think that’s pretty common; my stats page shows the total number of people subscribed to comment threads on my blog – and it rarely budges. That’s why I don’t reply to comments individually unless it’s really warranted. Some bloggers do respond directly to comments via email, or their systems alert you when someone replies specifically to your comment, which is nice. That’s probably the best way to do it.

What do you wish you had known when you first started blogging? Anything you’d do differently today?

November 20, 2012

Self promotion WITHOUT crossing the line into douchebaggery

It’s a fine line, isn’t it?

The topic cropped up at work the other day – how some people successfully build a profile without coming across as total asshats. Figures who seem to do it naturally and almost effortlessly. Who are almost universally liked and seem genuinely lovely.

I have a few thoughts on this:

Twitter is where it’s at

Seriously. You cannot deny the power of Twitter in the age of brand-building. Funnily enough, many of the earlier adopters and self-style social media gurus (at least from an NZ perspective) have now more or less disappeared from Twitter entirely.

More shallowly, that TV confers legitimacy

TV is still sort of the lowest common denominator. And there’s the glamour factor. Everybody I know who has appeared on telly can tell you that everyone comments on it. TV, so freely and widely accessible, reaches people you wouldn’t expect.

Very rarely does anyone ever say they saw something I wrote online. On the other hand, dear biddies such as my mother’s friends have seen my byline in the newspaper and taken notice. And when a news camera once panned over a media scrum, a crowd of which I was part of, amazingly, an acquaintance of mine noticed my split second of fame and immediately sent me a message about it.

Selflessness, humility and humour goes a long way

Being good at self-promotion, without being a douchebag, inherently involves conversing with others and generally being a good bugger about it. Having a personality that shines through, consistently. Doing it the right way means building high awareness without hitting oversaturation. Being in relevant media, yet not quoted everywhere you look.

Being articulate, and ideally, quick off the mark

Twitter is great for those who can come up with witty quips. There’s a lot to be said for being concise and quick of tongue (and typing fingers). But being able to write well in longer form is invaluable. There’s a lot of money (and profile building) to be had in speaking/MCing at events, but cultivating your own content today is so easy to do, you’d be foolish not to, be it regular columns, reviews, or your own blogs or books.

On that note, I’m constantly dismayed at how many businesses in New Zealand fail at content marketing. Intellectually, I get it. They’re corporates. They don’t understand editorial.

Ask yourself: Would I want to read this? Are we only ever talking about ourselves on [insert any social network of your choice] ? Does every blog post end with a sales pitch?

If the answer to any of the above is no, then pass Go, do not collect $200, and start again.

On another, slightly related tangent, the new Advertising Standard Authority rules here are interesting, particularly the guideline that people who are paid to tweet should mark their tweets with the hashtag #ad.

I’ve done some sponsored tweets through Mylikes in the past on my blog Twitter account – tweets where you are paid per click, sometimes based on location.

When that first began, those tweets (sent directly from their site using their Twitter interface system) used to be unmarked, but today I think they are automatically appended with (spon) at the end, and you don’t have the option to remove it.

But what about tweets that are not strictly paid for? As part of my job I go to my fair share of PR events. At a recent lunch I instagrammed and tweeted pics of the lunch, and used their designated hashtag. I wasn’t compensated for that. I did it because the food was amazing and I wanted to share it of my own accord, and as they were sufficiently up with the play to have organised a hashtag, it was no trouble to use it. I would do the same if I was eating out on my own dime (I’m one of THOSE annoying instagram users), and I’d usually make the effort to @ the restaurant if they’re on Twitter.

Or for example at TedX Auckland recently, I queued up for my free drink at the coffee stall, which was sponsored by Kordia. I tweeted a pic of my cup (complete with logo), because I was genuinely impressed with the freebie hot chocolate. Plus, events live and die by sponsorship and I figured I’d do my bit by helping plug one of the supporting companies.

What’s your take on the commercialising of social media? Who do you admire for building a public profile from the ground up, and why?

November 9, 2012

Friday Five: The facts of life

Things I have learned about adulthood:

Arriving two hours ahead of your flight at the airport is usually overkill.

That said, I’m too chicken to risk it, because I know the one time I cut it close will be the one time it all goes wrong. (ETA: Since I first started writing this post, I’ve cut it close. And sure enough, luggage mishaps meant we nearly missed our flight. Those people whose names get read out loud over the sound system as a last call? That was us, just as we hurried through the carry-on bag scan.)

Mail is never a good thing.

Getting letters was fun when you were a kid. It was a novelty, because really, when did you ever get mail apart from when your penpals wrote to you or family from overseas sent cards? (Do people still do that kind of thing, by the way?) Nowadays, when you see items in the letterbox, it’s always bills, bills, bills. Everyone wants your money, be it the IRD, the transport authorities, your insurance company, the gym, whatever. Or, in one case, a debt collector chasing up T for driving off from a petrol station without paying. A genuine mistake, but one that came with a stupid tax – though at least it isn’t one going on his record.

Occasionally you will eat cake for lunch and ice cream for dinner.

Or is it just me? Tell me it isn’t just me.

It’s true, heels can make your legs look better.

I did not believe this until recently. When I bought my first pair of heels, I was, to say the least, unimpressed. I’d like to think that while my legs are not particularly muscular, they are pretty shapely. And the way heels crunched my calf muscles higher up on the leg was not pretty. I’m strictly a flats girl on a daily basis (I have insanely flat feet, so I’ve never had trouble in terms of arch support) but even the very sporadic busting out of heels for awards ceremonies, fancy dinners and other such occasions seems to have made my legs more accustomed to the stress of walking around on tiptoe. Now, they look just as good as anyone else’s.

Finally, and on a more serious note: People will disappoint you.

I was always a bit emo, a bit pessimistic, a bit sceptical. However, no matter how jaded you are when you start out, the capacity for other human beings to piss you off and let you down … well, you haven’t even scratched the surface.

November 7, 2012

On unabashedly saying no to booze

As I get older, my tolerance for BS has shrunk to near negligible levels. I just don’t have the time or energy for the things I don’t have time or energy for. You only get one lifetime – one in which the days seem to roll on by ever faster – and I’m not going to play along on matters of convention just because.

Alcohol is such a founding pillar of both social and work culture, and I’ll admit, I used to drink just to fit in. But I’ve largely called it quits.

Color Martini: "Maya's drink (at Tokyo Go...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I hate beer and wine – and that’s usually all that’s ever available at work dos. Occasionally I’ll indulge in, and enjoy, a spirit or a liqueur among friends. But as a rule I generally don’t enjoy booze very much. I had my few years of drinking on weekends, and my fair share of flushed, tipsy photos snapped in the process … and I’m well and truly over it.

Alcohol is expensive. And I’m a cheapskate. Even at events where booze is flowing freely, I unashamedly abstain. At one particularly tedious evening some time ago, mixers were on offer from the dedicated bartenders, and I thought I’d try to drink to pass the time. A couple of sips in and I called it quits. Lesson learned. (Sorry, I have no qualms about wasting booze.)

Drunk me is not the best me. One drink – max two – and I’m gone. I’ll probably fall asleep within the hour. If I’m driving (which is also rare), it’s best not to touch a drop. Plus I get the dreaded Asian deep red flush – it’s a full body thing for me. Not attractive; extremely embarrassing.

And you know what? It’s not as strange or awkward as I anticipated.

At one industry awards dinner, I refused both the red and white wine as the bottles were offered around. A little while later, my boss simply said, “You don’t drink wine, do you? We might swipe your glass” and passed it on to someone else who was apparently juggling two kinds of vino.

At a bar meetup with a group of strangers (and one person I’d met once before), I ordered a plain orange juice. “You’re on the hard stuff!” one joked, and didn’t say any more on the matter.

Occasionally I break ranks. I succumbed to nervous drinking at a lunch function not so long ago, surrounded by chefs, food writers and other hospo types. I couldn’t feel the champagne flush, but sure enough, when I ducked into the bathroom I looked well and truly sunburned. And as it was a four-course meal with a different matched wine with each dish, I tried a few sips of each – figuring it was a rare chance I should seize. (SO. MUCH. WASTE. And is it a prerequisite to love wine in order to earn your ‘foodie’ stripes or what?) Takeaway: I still hate wine, even good wine, and even wines chosen to complement amazing food.

It’s funny how alcohol and caffeine are our sanctioned drugs of choice. But maybe we’re becoming more accepting of people who don’t partake. I’d like to think so, anyway. With evermore complex dietary requirements becoming commonplace (I swear every third person I come across is either vegan or gluten-free), perhaps we’re becoming less judgemental about whatever others put – or don’t put – into their bodies.

(This post was partly inspired by Clare and Cait.)

October 31, 2012

Things I’ve been pondering…

Where is the line between happy and settling? How do you know if you’re hoping for too much and your expectations are wildly out of line? Is the grass always greener? Can’t I just pause and appreciate what I have? Be cognisant of the here and now?

What’s better: working lots at a job you love but not earning a whole lot, ever? Working lots at a job that pays well, building up serious wealth and retiring early?

Could I ever be a stay-home spouse/parent? Or am I better at playing breadwinner? Is it really such a bad thing to be a good worker?

I’ve had a string of nascent opportunities come my way lately. Practically none have panned out. In one case, I’m actually glad. But I’d really like at least some of the others to have led somewhere. Am I doing something wrong? Is my karma in debt?

October 30, 2012

If staying childless is selfish, so is procreating

“You can have quite a fabulous life without kids, and you’d be so much wealthier.”

That (more or less) was something I heard from a mother-of-two recently.

As someone who didn’t start feeling any maternal urges until a couple of years ago (although I guess I’m still young in the grand scale of things) this really struck home.

My current state of thinking is that I do want kids … eventually. Two. Ideally a boy and girl, just like me and my brother. But not for some years yet. Kids don’t trump my other life dreams. And if for whatever reason kids don’t come easily to us, I don’t want to spend oodles (or go into debt) trying to conceive. If for whatever reason it wasn’t on the cards, I think I would be quite content. There are children enough on T’s side of the family for us to play cool aunt and uncle to, and they could definitely use any money we directed to them in lieu of having our own.

I’m not Christina from Grey’s Anatomy, but I’m definitely not the kind who squeeeeeeees at pregnancy announcements and clamours to hold infants. In fact, please never ask me to hold your baby, thus forcing me to find an awkward way to refuse. Every twitch and every movement scares this noob. Watching me cradle a baby has provided fodder for others’ amusement on multiple occasions (although thankfully the sight of my face has yet to send one into a crying fit – my biggest fear).

Sure, procreators are still the majority among us, but it seems that being childless by choice is increasingly socially acceptable (or is it just the blogs that I read?). You skip the baby brain, the physical strain, the demands on time and wallet by offspring. Living an entirely adult may be a “selfish” choice to some, but choosing to further strain the world’s resources is selfish in another sense. That also depends, I guess, on where you live and whether your population is ageing overall.

I didn’t always want children, but then again, I didn’t used to think that I could ever get married – I couldn’t imagine kissing somebody in public, in front of my family. T wants kids and I imagine those fledgling instincts of mine will pick up steam over the years.

Where do you stand on the question of kids?

Browsing tag: reflections

On age and how others perceive you

Is looking older than you really are a bonus in the workplace?

2012 in review