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Browsing tag: life

  • January 16, 2010

    Doing our bit in a f***ed up world

    In the wake of the devastating Haiti earthquake, Her Every Cent Counts blogged about being torn between a desire to help others, and to ‘get ahead’ in the traditional First World sense.  I found myself nodding at every single word. I couldn’t have written it better myself. I mean, I’m struggling to build a career, to start saving, to do all the things I want to do in life. I want to get married, to travel, to have kids. And yet there are millions of people around the world who will never get to experience any of this. Some of them won’t have a future. Some of them can’t even imagine anything like it, who don’t have a tenth of what I have. People who sometimes make me think, f*** it, maybe I should drop everything and go dedicate my life to working with them and helping them. Maybe I should donate everything I own to a cause. Maybe I should devote myself to doing good for others.

    Thinking about it simply makes me feel absolutely hopeless. What can I really do, in the big scheme? What can I give that’s going to make a difference? What is wrong with human nature and why do we insist on torturing and destroying others just like us? How can we repair and rebuild downtrodden villages, cities, countries, and change the lives of men, women and children who have so little and have been through so much? How can we create meaningful change and stop atrocities like these in the Congo (I cried as I read this – what they have gone through is absolutely unspeakable).

    But doing something is better than doing nothing at all; that’s what I tell myself, and I hope you feel the same.

  • January 13, 2010

    I may seem rude, but I’d be a lot ruder if I was forced to talk to you

    I get to see some great specimens of humanity at my house. For example, the three girls who came by last night to get drunk and dirty with my flatmates. I honestly couldn’t tell you what they looked like – that’s how much makeup was on their faces. Hair? Dyed and straightened to the point of follicular death. Skintight outfits, teetering stilettos. I don’t know how old they are, but T says some of them are as young as 15.

    One of them actually shares my name and tried to strike up a conversation with me a couple of times; I think she wants to be friends. But as much of a bitch as I am in private, I can’t bring myself to tell someone to their face that I have no respect for schoolage girls who dress and act like complete slappers.

    And the scary Barbie blonde one? Somehow has us caught up in her ex-boyfriend dramas. Not only is he calling and harassing her, he called our landline while she was here. Instead of ignoring him, she kept texting him back, you know, to tell him to leave her alone. I told her to block his number. She liked that idea, but I know for sure she won’t.

    Like me, T doesn’t have much patience for such BS, and tried to tell her that there’s no way she’ll find a “good guy” (not that she believes any exist) by getting dressed up, going around to guys’ houses, getting wasted and screwing them. Words, deaf ears. You know the drill.

    It makes me sad to see this – they’re so young. It also makes me glad to have found T: you never know, I could have turned into one of them by now.

    Today’s outfit:


    I planned to wear a waist belt to cinch the top in, but it only made me look lumpy and bumpy. Instead, I wore my medieval cross necklace and lacy knit shrug. Oh, and this is my new ingenious method of getting the whole outfit in one shot.

  • January 2, 2010

    2010 goals

    So it’s officially a brand new year. Who can believe it? I hope everyone had a wonderfully relaxing holiday and that 2010 is bigger, better and brighter than 2009 for you.

    I found it really great having a list of set goals last year, which I could come back to on the blog and update/mark off as I accomplished things. So I’m doing the same thing again, setting both financial and personal targets. I honestly believe that goal setting enables you to move in the right direction, otherwise, I would never step back to reevaluate what I want and how to get it. And what better way to stay accountable than by making them public?

    GOALS

    • Save 20 per cent of my income
    • Try one new (to me) dinner recipe each week. That’s going to require some organisation, so the idea is to draft up a meal plan in the middle of the week before hitting the supermarket on the weekend.
    • Run once a week. Right now, the only exercise I get is walking to/from the bus twice a day, and any walking around I might do on a lunch break.
    • Make an upwards career move.
    • Celebrate our anniversary – it usually gets overlooked in the pre-Christmas week. I also want to try and exchange gifts on all special occasions (he likes to both give and receive actual presents, as opposed to, say, me paying for his car audio to be installed).
    • Donate to charity. Sure, it defies all SMART goal setting, but I don’t feel I can put a set dollar amount on this. Rather, I’ll give what I can when I can, and to whoever or whatever charity I decide on at the time. Whether I’m giving time, money, or food to a foodbank – something I think I prefer, since I know that it’s all going towards someone who needs it, rather than admin costs or the like – I get a) the warm fuzzies from doing so and b) I believe in karma.
  • December 22, 2009

    Leaving the big lights

    Our class of 2009 has done well. There’s a fair number of us with jobs – in our chosen field, no less – but for every one of those, there’s another who’s moved back with their parents, jobless.

    This weekend I caught up up with one of my classmates, who was tossing up between going on a planned overseas trip, and staying here in case she gets a particular job. Basically, it’s a toss up between a holiday, and the possibility of a stable, FT position – one that she’s applied for, but won’t hear back from until after she leaves the country. And it has an immediate start, so carrying on with the trip would disqualify her assuming she’s successful. It’s about as sucky as a choice can get.

    I found myself telling her even if she does go, it’s not the last job in the world. There’s plenty of opportunities – just in the last few weeks I’ve seen a handful of entry level PRINT reporting jobs advertised, and who knew those still existed? But she was adamant she didn’t want to leave Auckland, and after all, she still lives at home.

    It’s definitely got me thinking, though. Am I a hypocrite? Here I am, telling others there are jobs around if only they were open to leaving Auckland. But how would I react if I was offered my dream job – IF it meant moving to the middle of nowhere? (Unlikely, but I’m trying to make a point here..)

    Right now, if T was given a great opportunity almost anywhere, I think I would happily relocate without much of a struggle. Today it really hit me that I could be out of a job in a month or two. Once this project is over, there really is no place for me anymore. It’s unlikely that I’m going to be able to move up into the kind of position I want, and my current role is somewhat redundant.

    But if I was to move (and especially, move by myself) I’d have to get a car. And learn to drive it properly. I’d be away from everyone I know, and be making trips back home to Auckland. I’d be cooking for myself again (ugh) and possibly still be helping out T (although things are picking up – theirs is a seasonal job for sure).

    I suppose I’d have to give thought to it, but it wouldn’t be a decision to be made lightly. Obviously. Financially, it would be really hard, combined with the fact that I’m more likely than not to take a pay cut should I move to a small town. Rent would be cheaper, I guess, but the second car would kill us. Honestly, at this point I think I’d be better off staying here, working freelance or in an admin job, whatever, until the right opportunity. Things have already started picking up in the last few months, going by the number of job listings around, and hopefully the new year will bring more.

  • December 16, 2009

    New resolution

    Like Kyla and Amber, I moved in with T at a really young age. One of the reasons for that was getting hassle from housemates (may sound silly, but if you’ve been there you know what it’s like) but I think we would have done so sooner or later. And I’ve never looked back – I mean, he’s a mega cook, is handy around the house (and to a lesser extent, the car), drives, and lets me warm my cold feet on him.

    The one drawback is that it’s so easy to retreat into ourselves – we both enjoy the comforts of home and when faced with the choice of getting dressed and going out vs lounging around in PJs, well, it’s a tough one. And our flatmates aren’t super social themselves (although for some reason, they do like to hit town on a Thursday night – god only knows why. T sometimes goes with them, but Thursday is when I put together the weekly newsletter for my side job, which chews up three to four hours.)

    So my resolution is for us to get out and do one thing every weekend: be it rockclimbing, bowling, a picnic, tandem biking, swimming or just a nice meal out. The cheaper the better, like driving to Cornwall Park and letting him loose on all the fitness bars. And the museum is promoting free entry for the summer, so that’s next on our list!

    (Tomorrow’s post is protected. Hit me up at eemusings[at]gmail.com)

  • December 13, 2009

    What a week!

    I’m back! Back from what, you ask? A lovely couple of days off in the Coromandel, relaxing, swimming and getting a tan. Followed by graduation – the culmination of the last three years, the last time where we get together and cut loose and congratulate ourselves for making it through.

    From guest speaker Tessa Duder (legendary Kiwi children’s author) to our ‘doffing’ of hats to acknowledge our friends and family, it was interminably long, and by the time we’d finished with all the communications grads and moved on to the engineers, we were exhausted. I simply couldn’t clap anymore.

    I have to admit, I got caught up in the whole ceremony, from the crazy ugly regalia, to standing up for one of our tutors who received her PhD, to singing the national anthem (I got a lump in my throat). I managed not to trip, or miss my cue; I knew I’d be called out under the legal name that I’m not used to hearing. I’m just so proud of all of us for making it through.

    Now, to catch up on my google reader, laundry (there’s sand EVERYWHERE) and most excitingly, Perfect Fifths!

  • November 21, 2009

    Perfect day, 5 years from now

    Frugal Dreamer had a GREAT idea for a post last week, which I am totally borrowing.

    T and I both did it, and it was interesting to compare the two.

    To be honest, I found it incredibly hard… I don’t know if it’s a lack of imagination, or the fact that I’m feeling a bit ambiguous about my career path and life in general… I’m not really sure what I want and so struggled to articulate where I might want to be.

    We decided to pick a Thursday, approximately five years from now. We’ll both be 26, and although he’d like to have kids by then, I’m not so sure. Doing this visualisation without babies in the picture made our future life look pretty empty, actually – something I never thought I’d say!

    T

    1. What time do you wake up, and how are you feeling as you greet the day? 6am, as usual. Feeling pretty all right.
    2. Where are you? If you’re at home, what does it look like? At home, in a 2bedroom open plan house, with a nice kitchen, bathtub and garage.
    3. Who is with you? E (that’s me!)
    4. What kind of work are you doing? (if you have no idea what kind of work you’ll be doing or want to be doing, list the qualities you want to find in the work you do and the kind of work environment you want.) Environment: a clean, quiet workshop with a steady workflow, where I have my own workstation
    5. As you head out to face the day, how do you look? What are you wearing? What I’m wearing now (singlet and shorts). And shoes
    6. How do you get to work? On a mountain bike
    7. When you’re done with work, how will you spend you spare time and with whom? What activities do you enjoy? With E, watching old horror or zombie movies on my large screen TV. Fabricating in my garage, working on my toy (project) car.
    8. What is your evening like? In front of the fire with a glass of whiskey or cup of tea
    9. When you go to bed that night, how are you feeling after spending the day doing exactly what you love? Fulfilled
    10. What are you most grateful for and what are you looking forward to as you go to sleep? Spending the next day with E.

    E

    1. What time do you wake up, and how are you feeling as you greet the day? I’m up at 7, feeling energised
    2. Where are you? If you’re at home, what does it look like? In my own house (maybe a Lockwood) with big kitchen, walkin pantry, garage, ensuite bathroom and decent sized closet
    3. Who is with you? T. Maybe a pet (preferably a cat, but more likely a puppy if T has his way)
    4. What kind of work are you doing? (if you have no idea what kind of work you’ll be doing or want to be doing, list the qualities you want to find in the work you do and the kind of work environment you want.) I’m in the prime of my career, as a subeditor or a web editor, in an airy, sunny open plan office. I work in a friendly, supportive team and regularly have lunch with coworkers
    5. As you head out to face the day, how do you look? What are you wearing? I look polished and effortless (ha!) I am wearing nice jeans with a shirt and flats, because the office environment is fairly casual.
    6. How do you get to work? Walk
    7. When you’re done with work, how will you spend you spare time and with whom? What activities do you enjoy? With T. I’ll bake, catch up on blogs, watch some TV or a movie. I enjoy photography, playing guitar, travel.
    8. What is your evening like? I might catch up with friends at one of our houses for a few hours – lots of laughs, maybe a silly retro boardgame, good food.
    9. When you go to bed that night, how are you feeling after spending the day doing exactly what you love? Contented and fulfilled. Glad that it’s nearly the weekend.
    10. What are you most grateful for and what are you looking forward to as you go to sleep? T, a warm house, great job and good food.

  • November 11, 2009

    New goals

    My goals for the rest of the year:

    • Learn to drive our car (it’s a manual).
    • Pick up my guitar again.

    I am LOVING the fact that my after hours time is now my own. No more staying up late reading. No more studying. No more spending all hours working on assignments. Plus, it’s coming up to summer, so the days are even longer! The possibilities are endless.

  • October 24, 2009

    Quitters

    This month T sat his final test for his course. Depending on his results, he may or may not be guaranteed entry to university. Whether he decides to carry on with that… well, that’s another matter.

    They’ll have a graduation ceremony in late November – exactly a month from now for friends and family. Obviously I’ll be going. But I asked him who else he was going to invite… and he said no one. Not even his mum? No, not even her.

    Apparently, he said, she doesn’t think he’ll end up going to uni.

    “Why not?” I asked

    “She thinks I’ve quit too many things before.”

    Now, I think that’s a little hasty. I think that’s completely unfair, actually. What has he started and not completed? He didn’t finish out school, and joined the army, which he decided wasn’t for him. So there’s that. Then he got into a good line of work, and got laid off after two years. (No dropping out there). Then with some prodding from me, he enrolled in a foundation course so he would have the option of going to university. Even if he doesn’t, it’s a fantastic thing to have under his belt. And it’s a darn sight more than any of his siblings have.

    Even going further back, what else has he started and not finished? He decided not to carry on with high-level athletics. That’s not uncommon. And let’s be honest, a career in sports is not the best of career plans anyway. I can think of so many activities I did throughout my school years and never carried on with… violin, badminton, debating, tennis, soccer… I got a kick out of all those while I did them, sure, but I didn’t want to keep going with any of them on a regular basis.

    Sure, he’s messed up a lot of things. Some of it is due to being naturally carefree, or careless, even. He’s never relied on his family to bail him out, although they have helped him out on countless occasions. And yes, he’s 21 now, and it’s time to start getting serious about something, especially with people bleating about the recession ending and things picking up. But he certainly isn’t the first, nor will he be the last, 21 year old to be drifting, to not have their shit together. Maybe more is expected of him, because he has possibly the most potential out of anyone in the family.

  • October 17, 2009

    Where to?

    Those of us with partners who’ve been laid off – or have experienced it themselves – know just how disheartening, demoralising and downright depressing it is. It’s been a year now – a WHOLE year – I cannot believe it.

    Let’s get one thing out of the way. It’s not a lack of ambition that is T’s problem; it’s more like a lack of direction. Not all people know what they want to do in life, although this seems more acceptable if you’re female (it’s okay, increasingly, to say you just want to be a wife/mother/homemaker; not so much for a guy to say the equivalent).

    I’m very proud of him for having finished his course, and he now knows he can apply to university and that he can do it. Jumping into the academic world isn’t easy when you’ve been out of it for years, and when you’re not super academically inclined in the first place.

    He may not be a straight-A  student, but neither am I, and I shouldn’t expect him to be – as long as I do my best, I’m happy, and that’s the same standard I should hold him to.

    If he simply wants to work whatever job he can get, that’s fine – but having been absolutely bollocked by the recession, I’m wary of that path. In the longterm, I firmly believe that having a qualification (trade or otherwise) is essential.

    So, I guess I don’t really know where to from here. I’m not expecting him to come up with a 50 year plan, but I do expect him to have some sort of direction. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

    We’ve clashed over this lots of times – he always reiterates: “I wouldn’t care if we were living out of a car, as long as we have each other.” Call me heartless, call me unromantic but there are some lines I’m not willing to cross.

    At the moment, he’s fired up about one of our flatmate’s fathers, who is keen to start up a business and employ both of them. Not a career type of job – just a job. He’s been to the careers counsellors at uni, who clarified the options that we’d already settled on, without giving him anything definitive. He could go ahead with the plan to become a teacher, or he could try to get trade qualified in engineering/fabrication, which is what he was working before. (Or the army, again…something he’s increasingly talking about).

    It’s October now, and I thought he would have a pretty good idea of what he wanted to do. It looks like uni is out of the picture, at least for the first semester of 2010 – applications aren’t going to stay open forever. I’ve spent many hours late at night sitting up with him helping him with assignments. I feel I’ve invested a lot of energy into this, and although there’s no way I’d ever force him to do anything, I really do think carrying on with study would be in his best interests.

    Whether he could stay motivated through the three years, slogging through papers that he might not enjoy (some he definitely won’t) would be another challenge. For me, I see deadly dull core papers as a necessary evil, but I plough through anyway. To him, he’s so disinterested that he doesn’t put effort in. And that’s something you have to deal with at university.

    I know I keep saying I want a crystal ball…..but I really, really, do!!

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