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  • Confession time: naming my fears

    Time for a few confessions.

    • I fear I’ll never be good enough at anything professionally. I often feel like a fraud. I fear that I will never figure it out.
    • This isn’t a big fear, but a small niggly part of me is afraid marriage won’t last.
    • I fear we will run out of money on our trip and that we will be homeless, jobless, and any other -less you can think of upon our return (even though I know we have family and friends who would take us in and my emergency fund, and at a pinch, credit cards – and I have a job to come back to). I’m equal parts exhilarated and terrified about embracing the great unknown, though the anxiety is rearing its head more often as the day approaches.

     What’s weighing on your mind today?

  • Link love (Powered by fried chicken and trivia)

    It was a bit of a ranty pants week here on the blog. In case you missed it, I covered arranged marriages and name changing (in both cases, the comment threads are great and most definitely worth reading – some have even helped me further clarify my views, which is always appreciated. Oh, and I managed to learn something about my own culture to boot).

    Off the blog, my friends and I were trounced at a music pub quiz (they’re always skewed toward the oldies – who the heck are the Boomtown Rats and have you ever heard of them?!) on Monday; I watched the entire Godfather trilogy for the first time and dug it; and I’ve been trying out the ring I bought off Etsy for the wedding, on a finger that it does fit. Result: I no longer know if I even want a wedding ring. I do like this ring and think I’d like to keep it for special occasions but I don’t like that it’s double the size of my engagement ring (and thus feels unbalanced) and still needs sizing. I’ve yet to find anything else I remotely like, and I really don’t care enough about jewellery to spend any more time on this.

    20130327-150654.jpg

    To the links!

    I was in the carnival of personal finance this week and last week

    I think this is fascinating: one writer on why she keeps a Single Girl’s Starter Kit around, and what that entails

    I like Donna Freedman’s take on buying quality stuff: “buy once, cry once”

    Jess Lively reminds us that copying someone else’s formula for success may not work for you.

    A powerful and inspiring read from Stephany about changing her life story, and thus, trajectory

    Little Miss Moneybags talks ‘leaning in’

    Over at So Many Places, some hard talk on seeing – and dealing with – beggars. I know to expect to see some in KL, as I have on previous occasions there – but I imagine it will be much worse in other countries we visit, and I don’t know how well equipped I am to deal with that

    Are things really more expensive today than they were for our parents? Funny About Money crunches the numbers

    How people really get rich (vs how we think they do). Via American Debt Project

    Fully behind Meg of LandingStanding; sometimes being able to say you’re pregnant would be a great reason to explain some of your preferences without being judged for them

    Hope your Easter weekends are going swell! If you have a five day weekend, I’m jealous. With any luck, I’ll be going for a bush trek today and visiting a waterfall.

  • Boyfriend in the kitchen: Beef and mushroom noodles

    asian beef mushroom noodle stirfry nzmuseI’m embarrassed to admit it, but there’s nothing shameful about admitting the truth. RIGHT?

    T outcooks me in every possible way. He even makes better Chinese food than I do.

    All I can really say is: Noodles. Mushrooms. Beef strips. Garlic. Spring onions. Coriander. And some kind of sauce (play around with soy/oyster sauce/fish sauce/vinegar/cornflour?).

    Sorry to those of you who like detailed recipes, but we’re both pretty fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants types, especially T. I don’t understand how he can just conjure up meals out of nowhere. Just like I don’t understand people who can bust out amazing musical solos off the cuff. Maybe it’s a skill that can be learned, but I think I’ll leave it up to him.

    Also, what am I gonna call this series once we’re married? Husband in the kitchen just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Also, I have lingering linguistic issues with the terms ‘husband’ and ‘wife’, so it may take me a while to adjust to them. Then again, I imagine we won’t be doing much impressive cooking on the road, so there’s a while to figure it out.

  • Bullshit-free bride: On marriage and name changing

    bullshit free bride nzmuse

    I struggled with deciding whether or not to write this post. While the changing-your-name thing has never been up for debate for me, I do have some strong feelings on the matter. And, troublingly, I know some of those feelings are wrong (inasmuch as an opinion can be wrong, which by definition it can’t).

    Intellectually, I get that choosing to change your name isn’t any less of a feminist choice, and is in fact an active choice, whereas you don’t get any choice when you’re lumped with your family name at birth. But as I’ve previously written,  I am secretly disappointed when I hear a woman I know is taking her husband’s last name. This is a bias that I keep to myself; I would never presume to judge anyone else’s choice, but deep down a definite pang is there. It’s one of those things that I know logically doesn’t make sense. How do you overcome that?!

    I’ve been surprised at the fact that I’ve been asked about whether I’m keeping my name at all. Asking a woman whether she plans to change her name after marriage? I suppose it depends how close you are, but to my mind, it doesn’t feel like an appropriate question – I wouldn’t ever ask this of anyone. I suppose this is one of my personal quirks. What can I say? I’m very private.

    Even in the 21st century, this still seems to be very much the exception rather than the norm. To me, the whole practice of changing your name after marriage feels very archaic. (This post by Bitch PhD pretty much hits the spot for me.) Let’s face it – changing your name is a bullshit patriarchal custom, a hangover from the days when women were no more than property to be sold off to husbands by their families. With that said, I do plan to have our kids take T’s name. I don’t have strong feelings about that, despite being adamant about retaining mine.

    One of my friends used to say “I never want to be a [very common Indian surname]”. And what do you know, she found herself a nice boy, who was of course saddled with that accursed name. Funny how things turn out. Despite that, I’m almost certain that NOT changing her name was ever an option.

    People who decide to change their names seem to do it for one of two reasons:

    They prefer their husband’s name – fair enough. I despise my surname; it’s caused me plenty of grief. But at least it flows, which is more than I can say for slapping T’s last name next to my first name.

    Or because, you know, it’s tradition. I don’t buy that. I’ve never considered the name thing an integral part of marriage. Perhaps it’s because my mother didn’t. When I was in primary school, a friend once saw a letter addressed to both my parents by name. “Aren’t your parents married?” he goggled. “Yes – she just kept her own name. And?” was my reply.

    This is such a dealbreaker for me that when we butted heads over this pre-proposal, I was prepared to simply scrap marriage altogether. Eventually T realised how important it was to me, and accepted it.

    Heck, I’ve gone 24 years without ever bothering to change my first name to the name I use (my Christian name is not my legal name), partly because it feels like I’d be culturally rejecting a choice my parents no doubt put a lot of thought into,  but mainly because of the cost and hassle. (I’m finding it hard to pin down what it actually costs, but it looks like nearly $130, plus all kinds of extra fees for name changes on various documents.)

    It’s not just the IRD. It’s the NZTA for your driver’s licence. It’s your bank/s. Your investment fund providers. Your insurance company. Your cellphone provider. Your ISP. Your power company. Your place of work. And no doubt dozens of other important places where your name is on file.

    Another biggie for me is that I’ve been published for years under my name. But I think that name changing can be professionally detrimental no matter what your field. It’s insanely unfair, but there are studies that have found women who take their husband’s names end up earning less. Possibly those women are also more likely to take time out from work and raise children, accounting for that – or maybe it’s genuine bias in the workplace that penalises them. Or some other factor. /shrug

    (When I first read that, I thought ‘how in heck would anyone know if you’ve changed your name? DUMB QUESTION – unless you get married at say, 20, and start off your professional career under it. Women who get married at work change their email addresses – thus announcing their new marital status to the entire office, which men never have to do – and then obviously have to deal with things future employers calling up past references who know them as somebody else.)

    Unfortunately I don’t really see any way to smashing that barrier, aside from soldiering on, choosing to change your name, and kicking ass in the workplace – I just won’t be a part of that, I suppose.

    And now, after writing this, I’m more conflicted than ever – not about my personal choices, but just by all the social and cultural norms and ramifications involved in a wider context.

    Again: I’m not here to bash on you for changing your last name. I’m genuinely trying to reconcile my feelings on this matter.

  • In which I struggle to reconcile feminism and arranged marriages

    One of my dearest friends is about to get formally engaged. It’s a modern arranged marriage, which, from my perspective, simply means that her parents have been heavily involved in the matchmaking (think of them as her wingmen, out scouting the community!), and in the end she has the ultimate choice.

    I’ve known her for over 10 years now, and I’ve always known that she would almost certainly have an arranged marriage. That said, I just wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon and so fast…

    Their compressed timeframe is absolutely mind boggling. They met last month. They’re getting engaged over in his hometown over Easter. They’ll be tying the knot later this year (as in, within six months or less). I don’t know about him, but she hasn’t really dated anyone else. I know it took me years to learn to be in a healthy relationship, so I struggle to fathom how two strangers, essentially, can slot into each other’s lives just like that.

    That said, I really like the guy. Us girls all do, based on our one and only meeting so far – we have no quibbles whatsoever with him. In fact, he seems just about eerily perfect for her. After all, the families have spent years looking for the right match, so maybe it’s not all that surprising. I think they’ll be just fine.

    Intellectually, I don’t have a problem with her arranged marriage. It’s an active, informed choice she’s made, and I support it. Given that we’re not dealing in dowries here, I don’t see anything inherently anti-feminist about an arranged marriage.

    BUT. There’s a but. Most of all, what bugs me is the fact that by default, she will be moving to Australia to live. And that’s what gets my goat. That the convention is to defer to the guy – though I suppose the context for this part of the tradition is exactly the same reason many women take a backseat to men in general, arranged marriage or not: generally, the guy is older (in this case, true), his career is more settled (true), lucrative (unclear – I don’t know what he does aside from the broad industry), etc, and thus takes precedence. I imagine this is even more pronounced in an arranged marriage, where the families are probably quite concerned with finding a ‘successful’ man, while the criteria for good wife material is perhaps not measured quite the same way.

  • Paycheque frequency: what’s your preference?

    Ever known anyone who, upon getting a new job, freaked out after finding out the company works on a monthly pay cycle?

    I get that budgeting is a deeply personal thing and managing your finances when money is coming in on a relatively infrequent basis can be tough. It seems that as a rule, most of us would prefer to be paid more frequently (in smaller amounts, obviously) whenever possible.

    At a previous job, one colleague learned that most of us were getting paid on a fortnightly basis, and after finding out, tried to negotiate with HR to get on the same cycle. Given that this was months and months after said colleague had joined the company, the answer was unsurprisingly no (if you’ve coped that long, you can keep coping!). I’m not sure how this works as a general rule – most companies, especially smaller ones, operate on one single pay frequency, but this particular organisation had a lot of unionised employees and as a result, pay cycles for different staff ranged from weekly to fortnightly to monthly.

    I’ve been paid on pretty much every kind of cycle there is over the years (including monthly in arrears for mystery shopping assignments – always fun) and I’m pretty confident I could cope with any pay frequency today.

    Here’s a little rundown of my pay vs rent (my biggest expense) history

    • Weekly pay / weekly rent
    • Fortnightly pay / weekly rent
    • Fortnightly pay / fortnightly rent (on opposite weeks!)
    • Monthly pay / fortnightly rent
    • Monthly pay/ weekly rent

    Every new adjustment took a little bit of work. But eventually, I got used to it and made it work, largely because I like to operate on a weekly cycle. Even when rent wasn’t weekly, groceries, petrol, etc still were. Every pay day I transfer my money into my savings account, then transfer out money in weekly increments to cover that week’s outgoings. (And because rent is pretty much never paid monthly by anyone in New Zealand, I don’t get these ‘bonus’ paycheques in the two five-week months of the year that you Americans always go on about. Sadface.)

    If I had the choice, I honestly don’t know what my preference would be today. Ideally, I guess it would be one that matched up with my rent payments – aligning your income with your biggest expense is always handy.

    How often do you get paid?

  • Byteful Travel Blog Carnival: March 20

    Whenever people ask me how wedding planning is going, they get a noncommittal “ehh” and a weak shrug. Let’s face it, simultaneously planning a six-month trip is a much larger undertaking, and it’s taking a lot out of me. But it’s also way more fun.

    With that, let’s get stuck into the latest Byteful Travel Blog carnival!

    Travel Destinations

    Emma Goho presents The Gohemian’s Guide: What To Do In Jaipur  posted at gohemiantravellers, a piece on her favourite Indian city, Jaipur. “A beautiful city, full of beautiful people!” One of my best friends will be tying the knot later this year in India. Alas, I won’t be able to attend (I’m not sure where we’ll be as I don’t know her date yet, but we don’t really have the time or money for a detour to India).

    Kevin Giffin presents 10 of the Best States to Visit with Kids posted at Summer Nanny, saying that planning a family vacation can be an overwhelming prospect, especially when the budget doesn’t allow for international travel. We’ll hopefully be hitting up about half of these states while in the US.

    Go Green Travel Green presents Dog Sledding in the Okanagan Wilderness, Canada posted at Go Green Travel Green. Sounds like a real adventure.

    Go Green Travel Green presents Best New Orleans Restaurants for First-Time Visitors posted at Go Green Travel Green. Still undecided about Cafe du Monde – but I suppose if we aren’t able to find beignets anywhere else (I have a tip about another beignet place to try buried in Evernote somewhere) then we might just have to make a stop.

    Mariska presents Where I am.. Anguilla! posted at Bordélique. Annoyingly, my computer has trouble displaying images on some WordPress (usually hosted) blogs, but I’m sure your photos are stunning!

    Travel Stories

    Dani Blanchette presents I’m Illegal posted at Going Nomadic. An epic tale of a  North American who finds out what it is like to become an illegal immigrant in South America.

    Pinch of Adventure presents São Jorge: Hospitality lessons in the middle of the Atlantic posted at A pinch of adventure. I think we all underestimate the capacity for human generosity.

    Hannah presents Egyptian Pizza (And Other Travel-Bites) posted at DiscoverTravelLive. I can’t believe you don’t have Mars Bars in the States! (But whatever – they’re pretty nasty unless you’re into gooey caramel.)

    Suz Crawt presents Are We Too Developed? – The Paleo Network posted at The Paleo Network. See how the locals live in Indonesia.

    Holiday Baker Man presents Chili’s – Honolulu – Molten Chocolate Cake posted at Holiday Baker Man. I’m always down with cake.

    Peg Peter presents How to Put On a Dry Suit – Beginner’s Edition posted at A Kilt and A Camera.  A humorous account of a first time getting into a scuba drysuit, complete with humiliating photos. At least you can laugh at yourself.

    Zhu presents 5 Canadian Culture Facts I Never Truly Understood  posted at Correr Es Mi Destino. I’m really not looking forward to having to mentally add tax to everything we buy in North America.

    Lindsay presents Year of the Durian: Ancient Durians in Uma Bawang posted at Year of the Durian. T is committed to trying durian in Malaysia. You can buy it here, too, but there’s no way we could make it through an entire fruit.

    Travel Tips

    Peter Rudin-Burgess presents Compare Holiday MoneyForeign Currency – Three Top Tips posted at Compare Holiday Money. This is something I spent a bit of time researching – am planning a post at some point on how we’ll handle money while abroad.

    Jeremy Zongker presents Cost Saving Alternatives to Hotels posted at Economy Trips. By researching alternatives you can save quite a bit on lodging on your next trip.

    Go Green Travel Green presents How to Find an Eco-Friendly Hotel or Resort posted at Go Green Travel Green. Self explanatory really.

    William presents Don’t sunburn your credit card posted at Card Guys Blog. A mid-winter or late winter getaway doesn’t have to break the bank.

    Cherry Liu presents 10 iPhone Apps to Help You Get Around a New City posted at House Sitting Jobs. I’ve already got a few of these on my list!

    David Thompsonn presents 20 Creative Ways to Save Money for a Family Vacation posted at Backup Care. Small savings add up fast.

    Theresa Torres presents How to Deal with a Lost or Stolen Wallet While Traveling posted at Travidition. This has got to be a traveller’s worst nightmare.

    Tourismjournal presents Items You Must Bring to Make Your Travel Easy posted at tourism journal. I’ve started compiling a packing list, and we’ll need to buy our backpacks in the next few weeks.

    That’s it for this edition! Submit your posts to the next edition of byteful travel blog carnival using this carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on the blog carnival index page.

  • Adventures in the kitchen: The blueberry edition

    I like to batch recipes. Got a bunch that use lots of the same ingredients? Group ’em and make them all in the same week or month.

    With the end of summer fast approaching, I thought it was high time I got onto all the berry/lemon baked treats lying neglected in my Delicious folder.

    blueberry cream cheese tarts nzmuse

    Mini blueberry cream cheese tartlets

    “Spectacular.”

    His words, not mine. Because third-party validation always carries more weight.

    I was pretty sure that this was going to bomb from the very start. For one, I didn’t have anywhere near enough fruit, so I cut Poor Girl Eats Well’s recipe by about 2/3 and turned this into mini tarts/bites rather than a pie. (Things usually go haywire when I do this). I eyeballed everything, more or less, and totally winged the pastry part. It seemed way too wet for its own good, and came out a little delicate and crumbly, but overall, a win. Here’s the original recipe.

    Ingredients

    For the crust

    • 1/2 cup of butter
    • 1/4 cup sugar
    • 1 cup flour
    • 1/8 teaspoon baking powder

    For the cream cheese filling

    • 250ml package of cream cheese (normal or spreadable, softened)
    • 1 can of sweetened condensed milk
    • 1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

    For the blueberry topping

    • 3 cups blueberries
    • 1/2 c sugar
    • 3 tablespoons lemon juice
    • 2 tablespoons cornflour

    Directions

    Preheat the oven to 180 degrees C.

    Mix flour and baking powder in one bowl. Separately, cream butter and sugar.

    Add the flour gradually, then press dough into muffin tins.

    Bake until golden (10-15 minutes). Remove and set aside to cool (I actually popped them in the fridge briefly.)

    Meanwhile, whip the cream cheese in a food processor until it’s soft and pliable, then add condensed milk and give it another whirl until incorporated. Finally, add the lemon juice.

    For the blueberry filling: Combine the cornflour and lemon juice in a small bowl and mix. Then, in a saucepan, cook the berries and sugar over medium heat until the berries start to release their juices and break down slightly. Add the lemon-cornflour slurry and bring to the boil, then reduce heat and simmer until the berry mixture starts to thicken. Remove and set aside in a bowl to cool completely.

    Once the crust is cooled, pour in the cream cheese filling. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes (I skipped this second step).
    Finally, spoon the cooled berry mixture over the top to make a pretty layer. Cover and refrigerate again until ready to serve (or just dive in, like me!) at which point you can add extra fresh berries (I didn’t have room on the tarts, nor did I miss them).

    Frugal factor: average. I happened to already have condensed milk at home, but berries ain’t cheap (I don’t know about where you live, but a cup’s worth runs me about $3, and can’t be found out of season at all. Still a big ouch value-wise, but hey, we live to eat, not vice versa), nor is cream cheese.

     

      berry loaf nzmuse

    Lemon berry yoghurt slice

    Molly at These Little Moments made this loaf last year. I gave it a spin this month. Just look at that glorious glaze atop it!

    Here’s the recipe:

    • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
    • 2 teaspoons baking powder
    • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt (I skipped this)
    • 2 containers of 5.3oz organic Greek yoghurt (I kind of guessed at the amount here, and tipped in all the yoghurt left in the container)
    • 1 1/4 cups sugar, divided
    • 3 large eggs (I used two; after the yoghurt, it seemed plenty moist enough)
    • 2 teaspoons grated lemon zest (2 lemons)
    • 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
    • 1/2 cup vegetable oil (I used a little less; again the mixture was pretty wet)
    • 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (from 2 lemons)
    • 1/4 cup frozen blueberries

    Directions

    Preheat the oven to 180 degrees C. Grease and flour a small loaf pan.

    Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt into a bowl.

    In another bowl, whisk yoghurt, 1 cup sugar,  eggs, lemon zest, and vanilla. Slowly blend the dry ingredients into the wet.

    Fold in the oil, then mix in the berries.

    Pour into pan, and bake for about 50 minutes or until cooked through.

    Meanwhile, cook the 1/4 cup lemon juice and remaining 1/4 cup sugar in a small pan until the sugar dissolves and the mixture is clear. Set aside.

    Once the cake is done, pour the lemon-sugar mixture over the cake and allow it to soak in. The glaze went solid as I made it right after putting the baking tin into the oven, so I heated it up again at the end to re-liquefy it in order to pour over

    Frugal factor: high. You don’t need many berries for this one, and you probably have everything else in the pantry (plain yoghurt might be the only one that trips you up).

    berry butter cake nzmuse

    Blueberry butter cake

    I actually started my berry craze with this cake recipe found via the Joy of Caking. I also wanted to make this buttermilk bundt by Smitten Kitchen (mainly because bundt is an awesome word!) but quite honestly, it looked too hard and this cake seemed pretty close.

    I am, sadly, a poor excuse for a food stylist. Rest assured that despite the presentation (I have never been able to make pretty food – this cake was lopsided, for goodness sake) it was moist and palate-pleasing.

    Ingredients

    • 1 cup of butter, softened
    • 1 cup granulated sugar
    • 2 large eggs, room temperature
    • 1/2 cup sour cream
    • 1/2 cup milk
    • 2 cups all-purpose flour
    • 2 teaspoons baking powder
    • 3 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
    • 1 cup blueberries

    Directions

    Preheat oven to 180 degrees C. Generously grease your cake tin.

    Beat butter, sugar, eggs, sour cream, and milk until well mixed (I used our food processor).

    Add flour and baking powder, then the vanilla extract.

    Pour half of the batter into the bottom of the pan and sprinkle blueberries on top. Pour remaining batter over the berries.

    Bake for approximately 35-40 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean.

    Remove from oven and cool completely before removing from pan.

    Frugal factor: high. Just the basics of baking ingredients, plus half a container of sour cream and a punnet of blueberries (expensive, as above).

    Got any berrytastic recipes to share?

  • Link love (Powered by shell shock and splurges)

    link love nzmuse

    So, the big news this week was that Google Reader is being killed off. I’m not exaggerating when I say this poses the biggest single upheaval to my online habits of all time.

    I’ve used Google Reader ever since I started reading blogs about five years ago. It infuriates me when Flipboard, for example, is touted as an alternative. IT’S NOT.

    I use Google Reader primarily to keep up with personal blogs, where I don’t want to miss any posts, as well as a few feeds for work purposes. I use Flipboard to catch up on things at the end of the day from sites like Slate, Salon, The Atlantic, The Awl, and others. I use Twitter throughout the day to keep up on news, plus blogs that I don’t want to subscribe to but occasionally post good stuff, which I see via links on Twitter.

    Google Reader is for subscriptions. Twitter and Flipboard are for discovery. These are two very different things.

    The two Google Reader alternatives I’m currently testing out are Feedly (which is a bit media rich and bogs my browser down) and The Old Reader, which is nice and clean, resembling GR probably as much as possible without getting sued. I’m not sure yet which will be my eventual replacement.

    Aside from that, it’s been a spendy weekend so far. After a bit of a heart to heart about how bored he is with our quiet weekend routines, this week we ended up dropping a bit of cash on food and alcohol and actually going out on both Friday and Saturday.

    How are your weekends going?

    Blast from the past:

    One year ago, I tore into three personal finance topics I’m so over (one of my most popular posts ever), the hard side of cohabiting and compromising in relationships, did a wardrobe audit, explained how we manage being a one car household and gave you all an inspirational pep talk.

    Two years ago, I paid tribute to my favourite New Zealand landscapes, some jobs that I could never do in a million years and shared a few confessions – another of my top posts ever.

    Three years ago, I discussed surviving on an irregular income and pondered what kind of genes I’ll pass on to my kids.

    Four years ago, I gave myself a bit of a kick up the bum about walking the talk.

    And now, this week’s links:

    Is your dream worth it? A thought provoking post at Life After College

    There are three ways to cut your budget, according to Mochi and Macarons: Trim, chop, or shave

    On contributing to society and building a life of value, via Get Rich Slowly

    A timely read for me: Married with Luggage on how your habits impact your relationship (and what to do about them)

    Punch Debt bemoans the bad timing that’s chased him since graduation

    Finally, Leslie made an epic inside out Rubik’s Cube cake for us all to marvel at. All this in a New York kitchen.

  • What I value in a job: 5 things to look out for

    5 THINGS I VALUE IN A JOB

    5 THINGS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER IN A JOB

    5 THINGS YOU MUST CONSIDER ABOUT ANY JOB

    what do you value in a job

    Writing my last post on the pros and cons of shift work led me to ponder what matters most in a job and how wildly that varies from person to person.

    One of the most sublime pieces of career advice I’ve seen recently was a gem in a comment thread on Ask a Manager. The topic: how to figure out what kind of career you want. I’m happy with mine, but I have a strange fascination with the topics of careers, particularly when it segues into discussions on passion and balance. And I still have a foot in the other camp, because T is one of those drifters himself. Here it is:

    “1. Figure out what you like to do for fun in your spare time.

    2. Figure out what career track will get you as close as possible to being able to get paid a livable salary, while doing that thing every day. Even if the only thing you love to do is sit around and watch movies, figure out what it is that excites you about it, and find a way to apply it to a career path.

    3. Get an education that is broad enough that your skills could be transferable to a different path in case you decide you don’t love the first one. (Get a business degree but minor in marketing. Get a French degree but double-major in education.)”

    Overly simplified? Perhaps, but the sentiment is spot on. Enjoying your work isn’t just about enjoying the actual job duties. Here are 5 things I truly value most in a job.

    The hours/schedule

    Maybe you’re okay with being on call or working rotating shifts. Maybe you do your best work early in the morning or late at night. Or maybe you want to work flexible daytime hours to accommodate your family. Maybe you’re okay with travelling a lot for work. Or working all hours to grow a startup. Personally, I like pretty regular hours.

    The stability/security

    Hardly needs to be said, but … It’s always nice to not constantly be worrying about whether your job is in jeopardy.

    The environment

    Is it a pleasant place to be in physically? Is it a healthy working space? While my office is always far too cold and dusty, I do sit by a wall of windows. A view of the outside makes a real difference.

    The people

    Possibly the most important social aspect, because a bad boss or horror colleague can turn a dream job into a nightmare job. Inconsiderate, incompetent coworkers can also ruin things. Sometimes you can ignore them or minimise contact, though. Very few workplaces are ever going to have a 100% awesome staff. You don’t have to like everyone, but you do have to get along with them.

    Although I’m often more productive when working from home and enjoy the solitude, I’m not a naturally social person so it’s a good thing that I’m forced to interact with others when at the office. Maybe I’ve been lucky, but I can only think of three people I’ve ever worked with who really got up my nerves. One fell into the amusing/entertaining category and was thus tolerable, while the other two I actively avoided as much as possible.

    The level of autonomy

    The thing I would struggle the most with if I had to go back to working in customer service or hospitality like I did in my student days would be the lack of freedom. The strict breaks. The absolute lack of leeway on arrival and leaving time.

    I understand WHY those jobs are structured as such, though. It’s a different matter though, when we’re talking roles more in the professional services industry, where you don’t need to be covering your desk all the time. I had lunch with a friend recently who related tales of certain teams at her workplace (an IT firm – not all tech companies are forward-thinking *cough* Yahoo ditching remote working *cough) where staff were kept under an eagle eye and basically treated like children, from the sounds of it. She asked if I could take my lunch hour whenever and if it was strictly monitored – and what about travel time if I went out to eat, did that count? (I picked her up on the way to the place we were going to eat at and I did not check the time ONCE while we were gone.)

    I appreciate the flexibility to work around the odd personal appointment and make up time as needed, particularly since I have to attend events on my own time occasionally. Junior or senior, treat your staff like grownups and they will be the happier for it, I say.

    How to get a job you love

    Don’t get me wrong. Enjoying what I actually do at work all day matters to me. But that alone isn’t enough. There are lots of other factors that play into job satisfaction and at least some of those boxes need to be ticked.

    What do you value in a job the most?

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